US Joe Biden News Megathread - The Other Biden Derangement Syndrome Thread (with a side order of Fauci Derangement Syndrome)

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Let's pretend for one moment that he does die before the election, just for the funsies. What happens then? Will the nomination revert to option number 2, aka Bernie Sanders? Or will his running mate automatically replace him just the way Vice-President is supposted to step in after the Big Man in the White House chokes on a piece of matzo? Does he even have a running mate yet?
 
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Shield Breaker said:
babylonbee.com

Biden Polling Well Among Pentecostals After He Speaks In Tongues

DALLAS, PA - Pentecostals across the nation are swinging toward Biden after an event at Dallas High School in Pennsylvania. According to stunned witnesses, Biden became filled with the Spirit and uttered the incomprehensible word 'trunalimunumaprzure' toward the end of his speech.'Man -- I was...
babylonbee.com babylonbee.com


DALLAS, PA—Pentecostals across the nation are swinging toward Biden after an event at Dallas High School in Pennsylvania. According to stunned witnesses, Biden became filled with the Spirit and uttered the incomprehensible word "trunalimunumaprzure" toward the end of his speech.

"Man -- I was leaning toward Trump," said local Assemblies of God pastor Chet Whipperton. "But Biden really brought the fire today. I haven't seen an outpouring like that since Trump tweeted the mysterious angelic phrase 'covfefe.' I haven't decided for sure, but Biden is looking pretty good after today."

Pentecostal scholars have asked for someone with the spiritual gift of interpretation to step forward and translate the mysterious phrase "trunalimunumaprzure" so the world may understand Biden's mysterious utterances.

"This may be the key to the election!" said Whipperton.

After a nationwide search, an interpreter named Bo Bittington was found in Kentucky. "Trunalimunumaprzure? That's easy, man," said Bittington. "It means Trump's gonna win."

Experts in the Biden camp consulted their own spiritual interpreters, who confirmed that the phrase means Biden will win.

Both camps are looking forward to finding out who was right when all the votes are counted in 8 months.
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I am pretty tempted to change my subtitle to "mysterious and angelic" tbh.
 
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This is sad.

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ETA It wasn’t even Natalie, it was Finnegan. And Beau Biden was never elected to the Senate as Joe states.
 
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IAmNotAlpharius said:
Hmmm...


It’d be funny if he threw him under the bus and later retracted it. Win or lose I find it funny that Obama is already distancing himself from Biden.

I’m convinced he’s doing the minimum amount of work possible for the Biden campaign. Despite social media making all those memes about them being friends I get the feeling Obama isn’t so fond of Biden.
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He never was, the fact it took him so long to endorse him (like even after the primaries became a foregone conclusion, Obama still drug his feet on making a very public and on-record endorsement. He merely disliked the guy when he was his Veep, now, he's worried about legacy tarnishment, which will happen with either outcome.

Biden loses, and Obama backed a loser

Biden wins, and Obama backed a guy who lasted a month before being sent of to the Ronald Regan memorial Alzheimer's Wing....

Either way, Obama is on record as having backed one of the most out-of-it candidates/Presidents on historical record.
 
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Most of being a political kingmaker and power broker is that when you decide to back a candidate, that candidate needs to actually succeed. Otherwise you've spent your political capital on nothing. Do that enough times and you won't be considered a power broker or a kingmaker or even relevant. Obama's going to stay at least somewhat relevant into the near future simply from the fumes of his Black Jesus public persona. But important? Someone who gives the nod or shakes his head and people actually listen? Nah, that's pretty much done.

One thing a lot of people forget about Obama is just how lazy he is and always was. When he was president he could barely be bothered to go through the effort of putting on fundraisers or making appearances for other candidates. Obama has always been handed things by other people simply for being what he is going back at least as far as law school, and certainly throughout his entire political career. He was handed his Illinois positions by other people, he was given his Senate seat by the Illinois machine, and he was awarded the presidency as a coronation. None of this had anything to do with expending his own effort or being an original and innovative politician.
 
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Karl_der_Grosse said:
One thing a lot of people forget about Obama is just how lazy he is and always was. When he was president he could barely be bothered to go through the effort of putting on fundraisers or making appearances for other candidates.
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Rumor was he wouldn't even return phone calls from members of Congress.... who had questions about pending legislation/votes, much less do legwork for campaigns.... he really did buy his own hype that merely by existing, all problems would just solve themselves because the "Right Side of History" had finally arrived.
 
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All the big point states outside of NC are at least 5 points up for Trump if not 10 whole fucking points with most of them over 50% reported if not 70-85%. The only statement Biden needs to make is one of concession... Too bad the media are being lame little pissants that won't fucking call the election already.
 
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