WHAT I ATE TODAY | JENNY CRAIG DAY 2 11/10/20 - Feat. horrifying chicken slop

[497]

I am not going to completely shit-talk this because it seems to be working? But I hope she is prepared to eat Jenny Craig for the rest of her life. The problem with these diets is that once you stop eating that "special" food the weight tends to pile back on. Jenny Craig isn't a lifestyle change unlike Keto it is a substitution. I would even say Slimfast would be better, I know that you aren't supposed to drink your meals, but it WILL shrink your stomach and I don't think that eating 6 times a day is doing that for our gorl.

Seems the idea is to teach fat people portion control... it could be done with food from a regular grocery store- like there are premade breakfast sandwiches with egg whites, bacon, cheese. protein shakes, bars. even weight watchers has TV dinners in every grocery store that look like what she's eating on Jenny Craig. People like Amber think there is something magic about this food that will make her a skinny legend in 2 weeks.

 

[Smoovy Jay]

I love how she explains broccoli as if we’re all 500 pound malnourished hogs. And it’s just milk, Amber, no need to insist it’s delicious.

I say cregg and all the Craigs I know say cregg.

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

So...which part of this is a “diet?”

The “die” part.

 

[Lucille's Brands]

When you hate JC food..

..then remember that YouTube coin

 

[keyboredsm4shthe2nd]

OKAY fat lazy bitch then make it yourself! Seriously, what is stopping her from buying actual groceries and attempting to actually make a long-term lifestyle change?

Another thing, all that fruit and rosé in the background? I’m sure a fat pre-diabetic cow shouldn’t be consuming any of that. Cut out all the sugar, lower the carbs, up proteins and healthy fats. It’s really not that fucking hard to put any effort at all. Even the minimum would be enough for a bitch her size.

Because she can't cook, and with that noted "like I could have made it myself" coming from her isn't a compliment to anyone but Amber.

 

[pot of sneed]

Because she can't cook, and with that noted "like I could have made it myself" coming from her isn't a compliment to anyone but Amber.

Agreed. As if we haven't seen her cooking, actual pigs would turn their snouts up at that slop so it's no wonder Big AL is always wanting to go out to eat. She doesn't even like her own cooking unless it's smothered to the gills in garlic salt and onion salt.

 

[DefCon Dumb]

She's sitting at more or less 515 lbs. The high end of normal weight range for her height is 126 lbs. & that's impossible for her. Take that 126 lbs. & add... 30-40 lbs. of loose skin? That could be surgically removed at some point but the elephant in the room is the lymphoedema affecting both her legs. I have no idea what a consistent weight loss regime would do for her lymphoedema; I only have minimal knowledge of that condition. It's possible she could have hers removed - I don't know what are the criteria, risks & optimal outcomes for HER. Like anything else..."Your results may vary".

For the sake of argument, let's go with 126 + 40 lbs. loose skin & a WAG of 60 Lbs. for the lymphoedema before any surgery is considered to lift & shift what's left. So optimally before said surgery, she could get down to 225 lbs. or thereabouts.

To get there she has to lose 290 lbs. That is a daunting proposal for even the most determined, well supported person & Amber has no real support & the backbone of a nematode. Assuming she grew a spine & found solid support, both medically & in her personal life, she has the equivalent of Mount Everest to climb, without Sherpas or oxygen. She has to learn what real food is & how to prepare it. She needs to at least try different nourishing, low calorie foods in order to find those she likes & she would if she tried. She has to reset her taste buds - not all that hard. She has to learn to meal plan, meal prep, plan her calorie budget & stick to it. If she has a cheat meal or cheat day, (holidays for example), she has to learn that you make up for those by shorting yourself a few hundred calories a day for a week or 2 beforehand or after & stick to that.

She needs to learn to handle when, (not if), she falls off the wagon for a few days or more.

And she needs to learn all of this because losing that weight is going to take her years. The first bit is relatively easy - because you need so many calories to maintain, cutting back to a reasonable number results in faster weight loss. As her weight drops, she has to slowly pick up her level of physical activity & that's best done with a trainer accustomed to working with the super morbidly obese, else she risks serious injury.

She needs to learn what adult life truly means & pick up new activities & interests to replace eating.

Therapy goes without saying.

That none of this will happen also goes without saying. I've seen comments about her reversed sleep schedule. I'm not knocking that per se; she has bugger all to keep her occupied during the day & as many have mentioned, you can be productive no matter what the hour if your body works best on a different circadian rhythm.

But Amber is mistress of being fat, dumb & lazy no matter the time of day.

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

Seems the idea is to teach fat people portion control... it could be done with food from a regular grocery store- like there are premade breakfast sandwiches with egg whites, bacon, cheese. protein shakes, bars. even weight watchers has TV dinners in every grocery store that look like what she's eating on Jenny Craig. People like Amber think there is something magic about this food that will make her a skinny legend in 2 weeks.

If eating six Jenny Craig meals a day for a week will lose you 16 pounds, eating sixty Jenny Craig meals a day for a week will lose you 160 pounds. It’s math, guys, come on.

 

[dingobaby]

If eating six Jenny Craig meals a day for a week will lose you 16 pounds, eating sixty Jenny Craig meals a day for a week will lose you 160 pounds. It’s math, guys, come on.

I'm sure I remember her bragging about her math grades that semester at criminal justice school lol

 

[Lucille's Brands]

She was a day late uploading Jenny Craig day 2. Instead of uploading Day 3 yesterday, she puts up an assine community tab post about vlogmas. Can she do anything she promises?

Spoiler: Answer

She can't

 

[SnarlieNarlie]

Fuck... Remember the days when all we had to do was match her earrings/outfit to some other social media or check the deterioration of her nail polish to know what days things happened in the Hamberverse?

You now have Pre- and Post-hair cut-lynn though! Yay! Every bit helps when it comes to dismantling her trolleeeeen.

 

[Turd Fergusson]

She's sitting at more or less 515 lbs. The high end of normal weight range for her height is 126 lbs. & that's impossible for her. Take that 126 lbs. & add... 30-40 lbs. of loose skin? That could be surgically removed at some point but the elephant in the room is the lymphoedema affecting both her legs. I have no idea what a consistent weight loss regime would do for her lymphoedema; I only have minimal knowledge of that condition. It's possible she could have hers removed - I don't know what are the criteria, risks & optimal outcomes for HER. Like anything else..."Your results may vary".

For the sake of argument, let's go with 126 + 40 lbs. loose skin & a WAG of 60 Lbs. for the lymphoedema before any surgery is considered to lift & shift what's left. So optimally before said surgery, she could get down to 225 lbs. or thereabouts.

Her body has been deformed for so long that, at this point, the only solution for her legs and body is surgical. However, it does not come cheap. After doing a few searches I found the following:

Bariatric surgery: $25,000.

That would resolve her weight loss, but after this, as you mentionned, there is a lot of loose skin that needs to be removed.

Panniculectomy (for the apron): $12,000
Lower body lift: $8,000
Upper arm lift: $7,000
Breast lift: $4,000 (lol)
Lymphedema surgery for the legs: $25,000

and of course, since it is one of the reasons that she wants bariatric surgery

Lip filler: $625

The cost of her surgical intervention would be about $81,000. Of course, this assumes that she is serious about losing weight but, so far, she has not been.

So, after all of this, she would be a gorgeous princess with plumped lips.

 

[ADHD]

Lip filler: $625

And depending on the type of lip filler she gets, she'd have to pay that every 6/12/18 months.

 

[Miss Misery]

Her body has been deformed for so long that, at this point, the only solution for her legs and body is surgical. However, it does not come cheap. After doing a few searches I found the following:

Bariatric surgery: $25,000.

That would resolve her weight loss, but after this, as you mentionned, there is a lot of loose skin that needs to be removed.

Panniculectomy (for the apron): $12,000
Lower body lift: $8,000
Upper arm lift: $7,000
Breast lift: $4,000 (lol)
Lymphedema surgery for the legs: $25,000

and of course, since it is one of the reasons that she wants bariatric surgery

Lip filler: $625

The cost of her surgical intervention would be about $81,000. Of course, this assumes that she is serious about losing weight but, so far, she has not been.

So, after all of this, she would be a gorgeous princess with plumped lips.

And how much money has she spent over the past 6 months, 12 months?

The $6,000 bed, the Target hauls, the deposit and rent on an overpriced apartment, etc, etc, etc?

She's already spent at least a third of what she needs for said surgical interventions in the past year.