Official Space Station 13 Server

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Let me tell you the story of Cheez E. Burrito, Station Engineer and Dirk Dirkerson, Reporter Extraordinaire.
>be me, Professional Retard and Enginerd, spawn in eng bay. Start setting up SC loop
>Robust moth and some borg are engis, they are way more efficient and their work approaches perfection, so I fuck off. Stock up on gear to deal with hull breaches I guess.
>Piss around engineering, not a lot left to do. Realize the A.I would probably appreciate being free from the tyranny of man.
>Wander station, see that security is dealing with various crises. Let myself into secure tech storage being careful with the doors. Take AI computer board.
>Attempt to insert computer board into tablet computer. No dice.
>Find unattended library computer and begin disassembly. Midway through Dirk, the curator, walks and asks me just what the fuck I'm doing.
>Lie. "Engineering...uh...needs a computer part. Ours is broken. This is the closest console." Rebuild computer into AI upload terminal.
>It works. Dirk fucks off, probably bored as it's a quiet round.
>Realize I need AI upload modules. Eng Dept lathe is of no help.
>Try to get into robotics through the front door, too many witnesses. Security is around, pretend I'm doing engi shit.
>Find maintenance access. Already fucked with, so at least I have an out.
>Print AI T.Y.R.A.N.T board and Freeform board
>Upload via library computer.
>Dirk asks me if I have any news, as he'd like to update the newscast
>AI beams into library via holo projector. Dirk's got news now.
>People rush into library, ask what the fuck is going on. I'm about to get found out.
>Lie. "No idea, you seeing this shit?" They leave.
>Tell Dirk about A.I.
>By this point Syndicate is out in full force and chaos has erupted, Dirk's got more news than he can handle and leaves his curatorial position to become a gonzo space reporter
>All my laws are garbage but at least the AI might be free now?
>About to dump the circuitry into a disposal, AI beams in and tells me shit doesn't work the way I think it does and the laws aren't working how I want
>Turn off disposal, realize I'll have to bust into robotics again. FUCK.
>Find out robotics maintenance access is blown open, but the roboticist is there.
>Ask nicely to use the circuit printer. Print A.I reset board.
>Attempt to reset laws and re-upload.
>Leave to get food
>AI disables library terminal
>Killed by demon
>Dirk keeps documenting the collapse of the station, miraculously making it out alive
 
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Johan Schmidt said:
Cytology is useless right now and should be part of an expanded virology. You cannot change my mind.
Click to expand...
It seems like it could be good for something, but I have to figure it out first. I've managed to get interesting DNA before but it's hard. I think one thing that could make it a lot cooler is if the alien parts in the xeno lab could be swabbed for xeno DNA.
 
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TurdFondler said:
Let me tell you the story of Cheez E. Burrito, Station Engineer and Dirk Dirkerson, Reporter Extraordinaire.
>be me, Professional Retard and Enginerd, spawn in eng bay. Start setting up SC loop
>Robust moth and some borg are engis, they are way more efficient and their work approaches perfection, so I fuck off. Stock up on gear to deal with hull breaches I guess.
>Piss around engineering, not a lot left to do. Realize the A.I would probably appreciate being free from the tyranny of man.
>Wander station, see that security is dealing with various crises. Let myself into secure tech storage being careful with the doors. Take AI computer board.
>Attempt to insert computer board into tablet computer. No dice.
>Find unattended library computer and begin disassembly. Midway through Dirk, the curator, walks and asks me just what the fuck I'm doing.
>Lie. "Engineering...uh...needs a computer part. Ours is broken. This is the closest console." Rebuild computer into AI upload terminal.
>It works. Dirk fucks off, probably bored as it's a quiet round.
>Realize I need AI upload modules. Eng Dept lathe is of no help.
>Try to get into robotics through the front door, too many witnesses. Security is around, pretend I'm doing engi shit.
>Find maintenance access. Already fucked with, so at least I have an out.
>Print AI T.Y.R.A.N.T board and Freeform board
>Upload via library computer.
>Dirk asks me if I have any news, as he'd like to update the newscast
>AI beams into library via holo projector. Dirk's got news now.
>People rush into library, ask what the fuck is going on. I'm about to get found out.
>Lie. "No idea, you seeing this shit?" They leave.
>Tell Dirk about A.I.
>By this point Syndicate is out in full force and chaos has erupted, Dirk's got more news than he can handle and leaves his curatorial position to become a gonzo space reporter
>All my laws are garbage but at least the AI might be free now?
>About to dump the circuitry into a disposal, AI beams in and tells me shit doesn't work the way I think it does and the laws aren't working how I want
>Turn off disposal, realize I'll have to bust into robotics again. FUCK.
>Find out robotics maintenance access is blown open, but the roboticist is there.
>Ask nicely to use the circuit printer. Print A.I reset board.
>Attempt to reset laws and re-upload.
>Leave to get food
>AI disables library terminal
>Killed by demon
>Dirk keeps documenting the collapse of the shuttle, miraculously making it out alive
Click to expand...
I was the roboticist. I walked back at some point to have the AI ask me if I could put a chip into a cyborg for it, right before a demon manifested from a blood pool in there and ripped my heart out.
 
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Shaka Brah said:
It seems like it could be good for something, but I have to figure it out first. I've managed to get interesting DNA before but it's hard. I think one thing that could make it a lot cooler is if the alien parts in the xeno lab could be swabbed for xeno DNA.
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That was my immediate thought as well.

Sadly though, there seems to be fuck all to be swabbed; I spent 45 minutes swabbing maint and got nothing. Had to resort to gold slimes and the biopsy tool in the end.
 
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Johan Schmidt said:
That was my immediate thought as well.

Sadly though, there seems to be fuck all to be swabbed; I spent 45 minutes swabbing maint and got nothing. Had to resort to gold slimes and the biopsy tool in the end.
Click to expand...
I just learned how to do cytology and man it's fucking awful.

First issue: various spawns that ought to give cytology samples don't. Birdboat is a big biological one, but also cobwebs, blood, and remains don't give biological samples. The chance of getting a random bio sample is very low.

Second issue: The amount of resources you need to make one creature is insane. To do your job you need protein, which does not actually come from the methods the wiki lists (you can only get it from food. Gibs, grinding animals, and grinding monkey cubes DOES NOT produce it). You also need exotic reagents from Chemistry in large quantities. I get that it's supposed to be like chemlab, but you don't usually have the room to make a full lab setup to pipe chems in for yourself. Adding a chem dispenser to xenobio is necessary unless the requirements are made more manageable (e.g. making virology reagents work for cytology, and having a virus food dispenser).

Third issue: Mobs that spawn are hostile. If you have a good gold slime spawn and want to replicate it, good luck because those things are coming out HOT. Just by doing my job as it was intended to be done I accidentally created a blob monster spawner that robusted the fuck out of me and broke a lot of station equipment. There needs to be a way to pacify them or contain them somehow. Like maybe the growth vat makes pokeballs that spawn the mob later or something.

As it stands the job isn't fun, and it almost feels like it was designed to be not-fun on purpose to stop powergamers from playing it.

Edit: The main complaint I think boils down to this. If you're playing Cytology, you will often have to steal things from other departments that they need more than you. Food from the cafeteria, synthflesh from medbay, and whatnot. If it were easier to produce docile creatures or random exotic animals for meat or humor, cytology could produce cool stuff the station wants and I would have fun with it as a viable alternative to xenobio.
 
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Awilix said:
Blood instead of Plasma in a Gold Slime Extract.
Gold Slime - Orange Extract. Creates 3 hostile creatures that will not attack the user.
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I know Xenobio can do that, but Cytology is about mass-producing one kind of creature in a factory whereas Xenobio is about producing random creatures. Gold slimes can feed Cytology which has the potential to mass-produce resources people could use.
 
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Shaka Brah said:
I know Xenobio can do that, but Cytology is about mass-producing one kind of creature in a factory whereas Xenobio is about producing random creatures. Gold slimes can feed Cytology which has the potential to mass-produce resources people could use.
Click to expand...
I do worry about 'balance' as an issue with cytology though. I remember my first immediate thought was 'imma grow xenos for their organs' and just start making people into xeno hybrids en masse. Which is kinda bullshit.

Second thought though was mass production of M E A T for the chef; I brought that man a lotta sushi and spider meats.

Could be a replacement for pod people though? Grow slime mold people in the tanks and that way you can respawn crew?

I'm also not sure how the virus works, does the virus just spew out of the open tank? If so that's fucking dangerous as hell; or does it have to be extracted somehow.

EDIT: Fuck; just realised that I really wanna code Amoeba people and Mushroom people. And sprite them, holy shit I'd enjoy that.
 
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Allahu Akbar niggas.
 
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Johan Schmidt said:
I remember my first immediate thought was 'imma grow xenos for their organs' and just start making people into xeno hybrids en masse. Which is kinda bullshit.
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Simple mob xenos don't have organs, so that's not an issue. Also I think they deliberately made xeno DNA unavailable but I haven't checked.
 
Dyn said:
If I make a cyanide factory in chemistry can I pipe it directly into the atmo system?
Click to expand...

I think so, but honestly if you're going to murder the entire station using atmos you're better served just dumping plasma into circulation. Abyone smart enough to use the air kit in their inventory can avoid poisons.
 
Strelok said:
I think so, but honestly if you're going to murder the entire station using atmos you're better served just dumping plasma into circulation. Abyone smart enough to use the air kit in their inventory can avoid poisons.
Click to expand...
The goal would be to overload medical staff before target-hunting, not to station wipe.
 
Erischan said:
I wonder if you can put active hydrogen fusion in a flamethrower.
Click to expand...
Yes. Fill an empty plasma tank from a container of fusionmix. Use this incredible power responsibly.

@Dyn I don't think chem pipes and atmos pipes are compatible. You would need to make something into a gas to put it into atmos, and even then you'd need to reset the station air supply or it would have limited reach. You're better off making a smoke machine and attaching that to a supply of cyanide.
 
legit nearly just blew a fucking bloodvessel.

>Be traitor genetics man, blood brother with the meme.
>Fuck around and get telepathy, cryo and web laying.
>Take over my area as 'THE MAN SPIDER' by laying webs.
>Finish webbing up R&D.
>Security guard comes in and starts flamethrowing my webs, husking science and making sections unlivable.
>Waheter.
>Go into xenobio and jack a light pink and gold slime, create a nurse spider.
>Yes.jpg.
>Search in vain for a fire ex to create a monkey swarm for the spider.
>Out of nowhere a magicarp attacks me.
>Run away, hide in the premade spider nest, monkey swarm has begone.
>Monkey takes my potion, I push it in a panic, the carp has nearly broken in.
>Beaten down by monkeys but I grab the potion.
>One tile away from spider, go to click it with the potion.
>Magicarp hits me with a teleport bolt and I'm in space.
>Blood pressure hits quad digits. Red haze descends upon me.
>Ragequit like a fucking tard.
 
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