Lolcows in Fiction (Books, TV, Movies, etc.)

[SavorySheikah]

I've seen a thread discussing fictional lolcows, but of those fictional cows, who would deserve their own thread had they been real people who did the things they did in real life? Here, I'll nominate a few to get us started:

• Eric Sparrow from Tony Hawk's Underground. A manipulative asshole skateboarder with an inflated ego and a huge net worth to boot. Not only did he end our custom skater's career AND blame us for a crime we didn't commit, but he managed to get away with it all.
• Angelica from Rugrats. An arrogant attention whore who is prone to public breakdowns and temper tantrums. She'd definitely have a thread in the Beauty Parlor. Otto from Rocket Power is a similar case, only with more cheating and less daddy issues. I swear, Klasky-Csupo cartoons have the worst assholes.
• The MSF and various other groups from the Metal Gear series would have their own individual Community Watch threads. I know for a fact that Otacon would shitpost across the farms.

 

[Juan But Not Forgotten]

Sonichu.

 

[A Useless Fish]

Patrick Bateman from American Psycho, by Bret Easton Ellis. Meme-worthy shenanigans from the movie aside, he's an even bigger nutcase in the books. If someone like him had access to social media, and was around now, then he'd be an amazing generator of shenanigans....at least until he was eventually caught cooking the brains of hookers, or melting bodies in bathtubs in Hell's Kitchen.

 

[Woke Blue Muttlema]

Like the subject but I swear I have seen this one done before unless I am suffering Mandelas.
ib4 kids cannot be lolcows because all kids are lolcows.

 

[DamageJoy]

Doctor "Eggman" Robotnik, all iterations.

 

[Doctor Ivo Robotnik Sr.]

Doctor "Eggman" Robotnik, all iterations.

No

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

Team 7 of Naruto, hands down
Bakugo
Maria Ushiromiya

 

[Synthetic Smug]

Walter Mitty. Arguably, Patrick Bateman in the novel is just a variation of him.

Of course Mitty didn't sperg about his fantasies on the internet, but today he might.

 

[Absolute Brainlet]

This nigga, by a mile.

 

[Android raptor]

Kylo Ren, and the Knights of Ren would be space Deagle Nation

 

[Analog Devolved]

Sonic the Hedgehog.

 

[Sir Bartleby Montclair]

Cartman.

 

[Battlecruiser3000ad]

Anne Frank

 

[TheRetardKing]

Caillou.

 

[Picnic_Boy]

The Emperor of Mankind.

 

[StreetGangsta]

Ikari Shinji
Nishijou Takumi
Matou Shinji
Shirazumi Lio
Uryuu Ryuunosuke
Ushiromiya Kinzo

 

[Prophetic Spirit]

Well... i'm thinking about:

• Korra
• Azula
• Kuvira
• Amon
• Unalaq
• Kira
• DIO
• Sheogorath
• Saren
• Illusive Man
• G-Man
• Liquid
• Solidus
• Volgin
• Ocelot

I can't think of anymore.

 

[Captain Fitzbattleaxe]

Any person that lives on the discworld.

 

[AMERICA]

Legosi for sure. A few others came to mind but were already posted in this thread.

 

[CivilianOfTheFandomWars]

Any person that lives on the discworld.

If you talk about my nigga Miss Flitworth like that again I will smack your neck.
But in the spirit of things, I’d have to say the Witchfinder general from Good Omens would be a cow.