🐷 Ethan Oliver Ralph / TheRalphRetort / Rad Roberts / Jcaesar187 / Rage Pig / "Killstream" / "Tequila Sunrise" - 5'1'' fat alcoholic, owner of a gunt, convicted felon and revenge pornographer, property of the ugly failed tranny pornstar Lucas Roberts. Has quadruple titties.

[instythot]

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Knoxville 3.0?
I know it's a fake Ralph. A goblin can be though

Do you really think you can take a man who can barely use stairs without getting winded? Stairs are not a metaphor for weirdly shaped 18 year olds who are about to become obese and tolerate ass thumbing

 

[Mr. Manchester]

Apparently Ralph is reading this forum thread as we speak.
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Spoiler: Screenshots

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Since you're reading this right now, I just want to let you know Ralph that I am rooting for you in this entire pregnancy debacle. Because I'd rather your child grow up to be a healthy, productive member of society.

EDIT: The Gunt made another tweet. Let Dr. Ralph explain all the inconsistencies to you.
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It was very nice of @Sriracha to help Ralph think about his favorite and most treasured thing in the world.

Josh's wiener.

 

[Cow Poly]

Ralph you don’t need to a test to find out if the “ralphababy” is going to be retarded... waste of $100 lol you coulda bought more Xans from those niggers in DC.

 

[Haru Okumura]

Ethan's newest capo is starting a show with "pill" in the name.

 

[Sriracha]

Josh's wiener.

I actually noticed something funny. Pantsu the tranny pedophile wants to fuck Josh but won't fuck Ralph. Ralph is actually confirmed more repulsive than a 'pedophile' with a 'defective dick'.

 

[Sam Losco]

It was very nice of @Sriracha to help Ralph think about his favorite and most treasured thing in the world.

Josh's wiener.

He doesn't need any help to make him think of Josh's dick. It's on his mind 24/7 and in his dreams.

Ethan's newest capo is starting a show with "pill" in the name.

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That guy is a such a dick sucking faggot.

 

[Eggg]

Gender reveal next week
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Tweet / Archive

Whats the bet she wont be there on cam with him? I'm going all in.

 

[Spectre_06]

Christ he's drinking Dan Aykroyd vodka now? Ffs, celebrity involvement is the surest sign that you should avoid a bottle. Why even switch from the bourbon? At least that's got some pleasing flavors. Or is he at the drinking as fast as possible part of alcoholism now?

I actually like Crystal Skull vodka. It's surprisingly smooth. I can drink it straight--and I can NEVER drink that shit straight.

 

[JAKL]

I actually like Crystal Skull vodka. It's surprisingly smooth. I can drink it straight--and I can NEVER drink that shit straight.

Tito's. Goes down like water and doesn't come in a pretentious skull bottle.

 

[Love Machine]

What's the point of trying to take shots at kiwifarms when more people use the kiwifarms that have ever watched the killstream, and the amount of people who love/hate the site will always be greater then those who know who Ethan Ralph is.

 

[AnOminous]

Whats the bet she wont be there on cam with him? I'm going all in.

If she is, he's paid her.

 

[Mr. Manchester]

I feel like Crystal Skull vodka has a time and place. It's something you get a couple of times when you're going to a house/apartment party in college or your early 20s, where everyone is blasted or high and having fun being young. Then you show up with your dumb skull vodka and wave it around and everyone has a good laugh before drinking getting blasted on dumb skull vodka. Then the bottle never leaves the apartment because it's a cool looking skull.

The novelty is lost when a 35 year old man who struggles when breathing tries to do it.

 

[Takayuki Yagami]

As far as what kind of men drink it...I guess "pretentious faggot" covers it? I'm not even saying that to insult Gunt, even if it clearly applies. I can't waste words on the kind of man that purchases and drinks Makers. It's sickly sweetness means it's popular with the sloppier bar-hopper girls.

Spoiler: Strictly for the liquorfags

What I will waste words on is a weird quirk of the booze industry.

If you know an experienced bartender and pick their brain, they'll tell you of least one lower-priced bourbon out there that's better, and not as sickly-sweet. An old bar coworker explained that X brand of cheap whiskey (the stuff the bars put in the "speed rack" that's referred to as "well whiskey" and is what you get if you order a base-price mixed drink and don't specify a preferred brand of booze in it) is actually out of the same barrels as higher priced Y whiskey, in many instances.

I remember Beam 8 Star being one such, speaking of bourbons, if you're into that shit. It's actually from the same barrels as some other more expensive and heavily marketed bourbon (that ISN'T Jim Beam, oddly enough) whose name I can't recall. They just put 8 Star in a bottle/label that screams of soup kitchens and Greyhound stations, and sell it in mass quantities to bars and the ghetto corner liquor stores. Due to it not being marketed, Jim Beam (or whatever conglomerate that owns them) makes the same amount of money on it. It's actually a pretty canny revenue diversification type thing, where they'll make more on either end, depending on market demand.

Also, suck my dick, Gunt, we know you are drinking cheaper shit anyway, whether you show the bottle on air or not. You broke, broken, gunted liquorfag.

Basically, what you're paying for when you pay for Makers is a rubbery red glop of fuck ostentatiously dribbled over the lid. It's a cool Christmas or birthday gift because it looks nice and drinks okay. Just okay. It's hype.

If a bottle is purchased for you, accept it graciously and with gratitude. They tried.

If you're a woman at a bar and it's purchased for you without you asking for it, get that rape whistle shined up and ready to go, and do not leave your drink unattended.



I envision a Carlos Castenada-esque, eating peyote with the natives kind of Gunt Spirit Quest if I were to drink a bottle of Makers...entering Gunt World. Visiting the Gunt Dimension.

...and no one wants that, which means I'll stick to filtered vodka should I tumble off the wagon and join you in drunkenness that night.

With how fast this thread moves when he gets really wound up, I feel it might be worth just adding to the OP that we end up having someone asking about Maker’s and getting the same conversation every 30 pages or so. Yes, Ralph has crap taste in booze, and he’s a philistine who mixes drinks in his mouth instead of a fucking glass.

 

[Cow Poly]

Faith is fucking gonzo.
gone.
zo.
Prove me wrong fatty

 

[Zigzag]

With how fast this thread moves when he gets really wound up, I feel it might be worth just adding to the OP that we end up having someone asking about Maker’s and getting the same conversation every 30 pages or so. Yes, Ralph has crap taste in booze, and he’s a phillistine who mixes in his mouth instead of fucking glass.

Ewww

 

[ClipBitch]

Imagine how elated Nora must feel when she reads this thread and realizes the gargantuan bullet she dodged.

 

[Elric of Melnibone]

Imagine how elated Nora must feel when she reads this thread and realizes the gargantuan bullet she dodged.

Then imagine how disgusted she must feel when she starts to think about what he has been doing with her bad dragon.

 

[HarveySperg41]

Imagine how elated Nora must feel when she reads this thread and realizes the gargantuan bullet she dodged.

It would be nice to get Nora on the farms for a Q&A. I’m sure Ralph would freak out as well.

 

[Squire of Gothos]

It would be nice to get Nora on the farms for a Q&A. I’m sure Ralph would freak out as well.

She has an account @Ghost_of_Livia but it's been dead for 4 years. If the NDA rumor is legit then we probably aren't going to hear anything from her sadly.

In other news Ralph seems to have Surfer on his mind:

 

[Haru Okumura]

Ethan's playing Destiny clips now, and as he does, his entire setup fails.

B A R E L Y F U N C T I O N A L A L C O H O L I C