Diseased Neo-Pagans / Witches on the Internet / Witchblr - SMT IRL, but with fatties

Flexo · Nov 30, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
Oh no, she's a dangerous storm witch! What if I get struck by lightning?!

I challenge the storm witch!

Azafran90 · Nov 30, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
May Zeus rape you this holiday season

Wait, seriously?

If they are so in love with greek mythology why the fuck don't they rea... Ah, nevermind.

EyelessMC · Nov 30, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
View attachment 1758267
I want to review this and hexing the patriarchy but I can't find a free PDF. I'm not spending any money on this.

"Gender Magic" :story:

Also, "Queering Your Craft" (author of Queering the Tarot).
That's it. I'm gonna write a book called "Queering the Ouija" and make bank.

Taken from the book's Amazon page:

“As evident through the pages of this book, Snow holds a vision for the queer aspirant who hears the call to witchery, to find healing, empowerment, strength, and pride through their craft. Through creative and unique journal prompts, introspection, rituals, and spells, Snow achieves this beautifully, and herein lays the perfect guide for the queer witch to stand in their power and stand beside others; truly queering our craft with compassion and pride.”
--Mat Auryn, author of Psychic Witch: A Metaphysical Guide to Meditation, Magick, and Manifestation

Click to expand...

Edit: I thought this was just a retarded tumblr thing. I didn't realize this was actually an entire industry. Someone could make an entire thread just based on the cross-section of queer books and magic crap. The covers alone are hilarious.

This innovative primer highlights sexual liberation as it traces the lineage of “witch feminism” through art, film, music, fashion, literature, technology, religion, pop culture, and politics. Juxtaposing scholarly research on the demonization of women and female sexuality that has continued since the witch hunts of the early modern era with pop occulture analyses and interviews with activists, artists, scholars, and practitioners of witchcraft[...]

Dante Alighieri · Nov 30, 2020

true!

NoReturn · Dec 1, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
I want to review this and hexing the patriarchy but I can't find a free PDF. I'm not spending any money on this.

EyelessMC said:
"Gender Magic"
Also, "Queering Your Craft" (author of Queering the Tarot).

The author's bio-image from Amazon:

Bio: Cassandra Snow (they/them/she/her) is a professional tarot card reader & teacher, writer, and theatre maker in Minneapolis, MN.

Her profile images from her website:

I am a great magician. Your brows are GONE!

EyelessMC · Dec 1, 2020

NoReturn said:
The author's bio-image from Amazon:
View attachment 1759552
Bio: Cassandra Snow (they/them/she/her) is a professional tarot card reader & teacher, writer, and theatre maker in Minneapolis, MN.

Her profile images from her website:
View attachment 1759555
View attachment 1759559

I am a great magician. Your brows are GONE!
View attachment 1759558

"professional tarot card reader"

And "theatre maker" ? This bio has me wheezing

Ultimately it's exactly what we'd expect and yet I'm still surprised. Her head doesn't even look like a head but some kind of fatty protrusion that's grown a face. She's barely got shoulders either. She's a lump with a lump in a wig on top.
In fact, she basically looks like Witchblr incarnate:
- Excess blubber to store magical power

- Hair dyed pastel to honor her transcendence from the mundane

- Can't smile properly because she lost the ability to feel sincere joy decades ago

And we can't see it in the pics but I bet she's got a shrine to some deity to which she sacrifices her ~~leftovers~~ anything other than food.
Probably where her eyebrows went.

verygayFrogs · Dec 2, 2020

Holy shit I found the crossover I did not expect, Witchblr and Littles

I mean it’s cute for a child but I doubt this is a parent or from someone who’s taken care of kids.

DJ Grelle · Dec 2, 2020

verygayFrogs said:
Holy shit I found the crossover I did not expect, Witchblr and Littles
View attachment 1762590 View attachment 1762591
I mean it’s cute for a child but I doubt this is a parent or from someone who’s taken care of kids.

>plan to make sun charged water
>leave a bowl of water in the sun
>it all evaporates
>fuck.jpg

Snusmumriken · Dec 3, 2020

Azafran90 said:
View attachment 1758530
Wait, seriously?
View attachment 1758529

If they are so in love with greek mythology why the fuck don't they rea... Ah, nevermind.

Historically I think Zeus has caused more family tension than he has eased but what do I know.

DatBepisTho · Dec 3, 2020

Zeus is Chief Pump n Dump himself, Dude is the og homewrecker manwhore.

Enoby Way · Dec 3, 2020

I enjoy the idea of Dionysus passing out drink test strips to make sure everyone is safe. Motherfucker would get you high on acid and then drop you off in the desert for shits and giggles.

DatBepisTho · Dec 3, 2020

Not Witchblr, but it is an example of how to have a sense of humor:

-I mean, memes are proven to be real magic.

Enoby Way said:
I enjoy the idea of Dionysus passing out drink test strips to make sure everyone is safe. Motherfucker would get you high on acid and then drop you off in the desert for shits and giggles.

Ikr? So would many of the gods that they seem to have best friendships with. That's what makes it so cringy and hysterical, I guess. Legitimately thinking a trickster or demon would favor you and you alone. If you know how to appeal to them, you obviously know some of the lore like a true witch might? Nah, bro fuck learning the coolest and trippiest literary things things aka the only reason the belief system is still alive for you to be engaged in it outside of the culture/era that established it.

Edit: made this more than a low effort post.

verygayFrogs · Dec 5, 2020

Or you could call them, write a nice letter or bake some cookies?
https://spiritually-guided.tumblr.com/post/190427734425/beginner-herbs <Ngl that’s gotta be useful.

Wanna see some real magic?

Troonologist PhD · Dec 6, 2020

verygayFrogs said:
View attachment 1769376
Or you could call them, write a nice letter or bake some cookies?
https://spiritually-guided.tumblr.com/post/190427734425/beginner-herbs <Ngl that’s gotta be useful.

Wanna see some real magic?

Ngl I don’t really have much of a problem with this one. They’re not getting period blood everywhere, not writing cringey Greek mythology fanfics, not inserting their cringey politics/labels into everything, not trying to date rape someone with their totally-for-real supernatural powers, not trying to destroy their imaginary oppressors over imagined slights with the black arts, not talking about their disturbing sexual fantasies. This is unironically the nicest thing I’ve ever seen a Tumblrette do.

DatBepisTho · Dec 6, 2020

I'm surprised there wasn't a "make something for them, channel your intent and focus on the work" spell to imbue the things they make with a weird innate source of positive vibes or a curse.

fuzzyrodent85 · Dec 6, 2020

Oh yeah, if I found out that an acquaintance licked candles in their spare time I'd be all over their dick.

I never understood why these people feel the need to put asterisks in random words.

I really hope this is a joke.

discombobulate · Dec 6, 2020

DJ Grelle said:
>plan to make sun charged water
>leave a bowl of water in the sun
>it all evaporates
>fuck.jpg

See, you charged the water so much that it went from defence to offence and couldn't wait to start hunting TERFs.

Flexo · Dec 6, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
I never understood why these people feel the need to put asterisks in random words.

Well to be fair, in a lot of lore, myths - heck even in Judaism and Christianity - using someone's name, especially a deity's, is kind of a power move and not to be done lightly.

NoReturn · Dec 7, 2020

fuzzyrodent85 said:
I never understood why these people feel the need to put asterisks in random words.

iirc it's to prevent the post from showing up in tumblr's search function.

Flexo said:
Well to be fair, in a lot of lore, myths - heck even in Judaism and Christianity - using someone's name, especially a deity's, is kind of a power move and not to be done lightly.

Their TRUE name. What "true name" means, however, depends on the tradition. One of the most famous examples of this is the story of Rumplestiltskin (where the dude's true name is "Rumpelstiltskin" but there are others which provide different examples of "true names".

Puck is often referred to as "Robin Goodfellow" because you don't want to call him by his real name and summon him without reason
Baptismal names vs. given names/legal names
The practice of giving misleading names to distract ill-meaning spirits (e.g. The Powhatan practice of giving shitty names to children but their "real" name is something nice)
The tetragrammaton vs. whatever the real pronunciation of it is. (You can't prove it's NOT "Yahoo whoo")
Some works of fiction define a "true name" as the name by which you recognize yourself internally, so that even if you change your legal name, if you see see yourself as your old name, then a spirit who knows that name or knows you see yourself as that person, can control you. ("I'm Batman")

You can also make modern day comparisons to things like the dichotomy between a SSN and other identity numbers and your given name (e.g. there are a million "John Smith"s but only one ###-##-####) as well as usernames vs. irl names.

There are also some stories/beliefs that the ability to "name" something is a skill either only humans, or certain humans, have. This shows up in books like "Anansi Boys" and in "That Time I got Reincarnated as a Slime".

fuzzyrodent85 · Dec 10, 2020

Knowing these people "nut milk" may not be that carton of ground almonds mixed with water at walmart.

Oh, I'm sure the police will have no problem with your magick, just make sure to let then know about the penny you left at the gate and all the moss you scraped from the stones. The beheaded chicken is a powerful familiar that will keep watch over the cemetery even though it's dead.