Musicians that are also Lolcows?

[Golly]

Gotta shout out my girl, Florence Foster Jenkins. Sold out Carnegie Hall due to her notoriety as an unskilled classical singer.

 

[Pee Cola]

Morrissey is one of the biggest fucking musical lolcows of all time.

 

[Tootsie Bear]

Azealia Banks is probably hands down one of the biggest lolcows in the entire music industry.

Oh man! I remember reading the controversy section on her Wikipedia where it mentioned she called out Sia because Sia was upset that Banks was sacrificing chickens for religious reasons and told Banks to get by for being awesome or something like that. Banks in response told her in to shut her pasty face up and let her practice her beliefs in peace.

What's funny is that SIa comes across as someone who "cares" about animals that she would call out Banks, but at the same time understand if she insulted Banks, who is black, too much she would be seen as racists for being ignorant about Bank's religious beliefs so she told her to continue being awesome. It was just so phony.

 

[Spunt]

Surprised nobody's mentioned Chris Taylor Brown from one-hit-wonder nu-metal shitfest Trapt. He popped up on the radar a couple of years ago when he started uploading other artists' videos onto Trapt's Facebook page and telling the people concerned to go fuck themselves when they objected. Notably he called Rob Scallon, whose videos he was stealing, a "whiny faggot". Since then he's gone full MAGApede and got into Twitter slapfights with dozens of other bands, accidentally giving away that he's living entirely off Pandora streams of that one song from 2002 that nobody likes.

He then tried to sue change.org when two petitions went up asking Activision to keep the band's music off the Tony Hawk remake, which as I'm sure you can guess were not successful.

Facebook deleted the band's page earlier this year due to the aforementioned copyright infringement, his repeated threats to kill BLM protesters and his unbridled hatred of Mexicans.

Also, Billy Corgan, who looks like a bloated blobfish and went on Alex Jones to scream about chemtrails.

 

[Quintex96]

Morrissey has always been a weird fucker. Reading the 'personal life' section on his wikipedia page all you need to read to realize he embodies every far-left stereotype.

Take this with a grain of salt as I was only told this story from my music tutor who was a roadie for The Smiths and a few other British groups in the mid to late 80's. Morrissey is a complete fucking weirdo. He wouldn't ever interact with anyone outside of his entourage who would cater to his every whim. Even his own bandmates had to interact with him through his litle clique which was causing friction between them. At one point towards the end of a tour, One of Morrissey's entourage approached a guy working with my tutor and promptly said "Morrissey quite likes the look of you, are you interested in being acquainted with him?" to which he said alright. He was then walked to a seperate room with a few others from his entourage and quizzed about his life, beliefs, politics etc. before being let go. Later that night he was invited to a dinner with Morrissey which he attended. Apparently he was sat at the far end of a huge table with the entirety of his entourage with Morrissey himself seated at the other end. Apparently Morrissey himself never spoke a word that entire evening, with his entourage fielding all discussion with 'Mr Morrissey likes' or 'Morrissey thinks'. at the end of the meal, Morrissey got up and eft the room and beckoned one of his group to come with him. He promptly came back and told the guy "I'm sorry but Morrissey doesn't think you will be a good fit, you have to leave now" and that was the end of it.

 

[Agent Abe Caprine]

Varg Vikernes. Black metal singer who killed his bandmate (supposedly in self defense), burned down medieval churches, and is now a neo-nazi vlogger and amateur RPG developer.

Pretty much everyone in the second wave scene that wasn't Fenriz or a member of Immortal could be considered a lolcow of some sort.

 

[EmpireOfTheClouds]

As much as I hate to say it, Nergal.

 

[Calandrino]

Pretty much everyone in the second wave scene that wasn't Fenriz or a member of Immortal could be considered a lolcow of some sort.

I mean, that is saying something.

Didn't at least one of the members of Portal get baited repeatedly into dumb internet slap fights? Like "IF YOU DON'T LIKE OUR MUSIC DON'T LISTEN TO IT, IT'S TOO SMART FOR YOU", that kind of a thing. Actual internet lolcow behavior and getting trolled and not just generally being a weirdo.

 

[Pale Empress]

Rob Darken (Graveland, Lord Wind) apparently was something of a lolcow in the early-mid 00s to the extent that he has/d an ED article. He was also an acquaintance of Varg's up until at least the early 10's.

There's a notorious lolcow in the Arizona metal scene named Marshall Beck, I haven't interacted with him personally but he built his "profile" as a MAGA tough guy bro-metal guy, iirc he makes a lot of posts about being "libertarian" and constantly tries to upsell himself as a world-class touring professional musician despite being the laughing stock of a local music scene. The only reason I remember him is because I received a CDR of his in the mail recently.

 

[Cliff Booth]

Without a doubt Scott Stapp from Creed. Something about the band's outward Christian persona and the fact that an absolute lunatic addict was their frontman really seals the deal for me. The guy has gotten into a bunch of legal shit and been institutionalized multiple times since the band's late 90s peak. I honestly couldn't even begin to summarize all the lolcow shit he did in the early 2000s up until a few years ago. This is a good starting point.

"One day not too long ago, the Secret Service paid Scott Stapp a visit. In late 2014, the former lead singer of Creed, in the middle of a monthslong psychotic break, told his wife Jaclyn he was a CIA agent on a mission to assassinate President Obama. A worried Jaclyn called the police."

 

[Vexillology]

I'd also list Dave Mustaine who, upon getting fired from Metallica, said he'd start a better trash metal band, but he did actually succeed. In the same vein, every "metal/punk grandpas" band.

He is STILL trying to start shit with Lars Ulrich, like 35 years later.

Honorable mention for Amy Lee and her hilarious Evanescence forum, but I don't think she's really entertaining enough to be a lolcow.

 

[Absolutego]

He is STILL trying to start shit with Lars Ulrich, like 35 years later.

Honorable mention for Amy Lee and her hilarious Evanescence forum, but I don't think she's really entertaining enough to be a lolcow.

Her and her webforum's role in creating the terrorist Samuel Collingwood Smith merits at least a "lolcow-by-proxy" award.

 

[tehpope]

Billy Corgan of the Smashing Pumpkins. Been on infowars a bunch of times. Had/Has his own wrestling company. Used to shit on James Iha (the other guitarist from the classic Pumpkins era) a lot before they burried the hatchet. I think he did shit on D'arcy (the bassist) too when James rejoined the band in 2018. Its pretty shitty because she's basically lives in private after leaving the band and has like done 1 interview ever. He did run a a livejournal for a while between Zwan and the Pumpkins reuniting. Explains a lot about him. IIRC, still online. He went on a rant about devi ever because they mad shit guitar pedals.

Maybe Mike Love. He's more complete asshole than lolcow. Brian Wilson rides that line. He would probably have a thread here if the farms were around in the 70s and 80s. He rides that line of "spergy lolcows that are also musical/artistic geniuses".

Actually, let's just save ourselves some time and say "Every punk or goth musician not named The Ramones, Siouxsie Sioux, or Voltaire"

Would you put Robert Smith on that list? I really don't know of any spergy thing he's done. But he does look like Chris-Chan now of days.

 

[Captain Manning]

Lady Gaga.

Lady Gaga apologises to boyfriend after saying she loves her ex

www.cosmopolitan.com

Without a doubt Scott Stapp from Creed.

Oh boy. Have I got a story for you. This is from 2005. And yes, it's legit. News organizations picked it up.

Who's your favorite faux Christian ex-rock star?

"So how did your last night in Gainesville go?" you curiously ask. "Sit down and let me tell you the tale of the best night of my life," I anxiously reply. Lead Singer of Creed Gets Punk'd Friday, July 29. My last night in Gainesville. I've had my party and said my goodbyes to most of my friends.…

tomluv.livejournal.com

 

[TurdEthics]

Imagine if Wesley Willis stayed alive & got a Twitter account.

 

[Syaoran Li]

Would you put Robert Smith on that list? I really don't know of any spergy thing he's done. But he does look like Chris-Chan now of days.

I think Robert Smith is in the category of "Is probably a sperg but is just self-aware enough to hide his power level and not be a true lolcow"

Johnny Rotten, Andrew Eldritch, GG Allin, and Seth Putnam all fall into the category "Massive lolcows who are simultaneously brilliant trolls and shitposters"

Henry Rollins is sort of like Styx in that he's definitely a lolcow, but a fairly mild and almost benign lolcow, same goes for most of the pop punk bands from the early 2000's that didn't sperg out over politics like Green Day did

Everyone else in the punk or goth scene that hasn't already been mentioned are massive lolcows but some special dishonorable mentions would go to Crass, The Clash, Sid Vicious, Jello Biafra, Skrewdriver, Rage Against the Machine, Ministry, and pretty much everyone involved in crust punk, skinhead, Riot Grrl, or "queercore" bullshit.

Punk Sucks

 

[Niggernerd]

Nickelback

 

[Mrs Paul]

How could anyone forget Michael Jackson?

-Ted "I spent two weeks shitting myself to avoid the draft" Nugent
-Courtney Love
-Rick James



I read an article a few years back about what it was like to work for Morrissey -- you had to go vegan, and he had to approve of your musical taste (Elton John was right out), etc. I wish I could find it.

 

[ColtWalker1847]

-Ted "I spent two weeks shitting myself to avoid the draft" Nugent

Fuck. I came here to post that. His whole reinvention of himself as a mountain man living off the land is pretty lulzy too. Bitch you are from Detroit. Also that bit with marrying 17 year old so he could fuck her.

Speaking of weird fucking and marriage, Jerry Lee Lewis.

Then there's Prince. Who somehow became a sex symbol despite never fucking anything.

 

[419]

say what you will since OP mentioned spaceghostpurrp but by god did he at least have some banger tweets

Spoiler: assorted tweets