Inactive Richard "Lowtax" Kyanka - Deadbeat (emphasis on "Dead") founder of Something Awful, forced out of his own community, on his second divorce, stuck his dick in crazy, "Birth Giver"

[BALLZ-BROKEN]

Dammit Richard, I'm still waiting for that VINDICATION

He could always stream the 1988 Atari arcade game Vindicators

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

Richard's feeling lonely tonight and wants asspats.

A stream janny is happy to provide...

But the detractors just keep on coming.

 

[Dan Abrams]

Or he could emulate Shoenice and drink himself to death on stream. At least it would be worth watching.

Lowtax needs to re-enact Leaving Las Vegas IRL. A fitting end for him would be to find another whore half his age to bang and then die alone in a motel room to be forgotten by everyone.

 

[Charles.Broccoli]

So did Jeffrey ever finalize Lowtax's permaban or what?

 

[AnOminous]

Lowtax needs to re-enact Leaving Las Vegas IRL. A fitting end for him would be to find another whore half his age to bang and then die alone in a motel room to be forgotten by everyone.

So like the actual Leaving Las Vegas, but a hilarious comedy everyone laughs at.

 

[RapidUnplannedDisassembly]

Lowtax knows his streams are a dud and will only have the same 30-40 die hards watching, but he doesn't know what to do with himself.

I think he desperately wants to be his own MST3k / rifftrax thing, but has never fully comprehended that he ruined his shot with that when he didn't put in the work or effort to better cultivate the relationship he had when he was directly connected with Mike Nelson. Now he's just snatching at the crumbs that aren't even on Nelson's table, and he further doesn't fully comprehend he is neither charismatic nor funny enough to do this on his own.

 

[Molly White's Breast Milk]

If he had cultivated a relationship with Nelson he would have been cancelled much sooner since Nelson is a far-right Nazi CHUD Christian.

 

[AnOminous]

I think he desperately wants to be his own MST3k / rifftrax thing, but has never fully comprehended that he ruined his shot with that when he didn't put in the work or effort to better cultivate the relationship he had when he was directly connected with Mike Nelson. Now he's just snatching at the crumbs that aren't even on Nelson's table, and he further doesn't fully comprehend he is neither charismatic nor funny enough to do this on his own.

He doesn't seem to understand they put the work in, actually scripted stuff beforehand, showed up sober, actually produced content regularly, little shit like that. He thinks he can show up drunk off his ass, slurring his words, pick some boring ass shit nobody cares about, then mumble incoherently about it while occasionally disappearing off screen to do lines or whatever, and this will somehow work.

 

[Tanner Glass]

Tbh if Lowtax streamed something people actually liked watching along with his shit commentary, rather than something shit nobody likes along with his shit commentary, he probably would at least manage a bit more than just hovering below 400 views per video.

A dime a dozen generic twitch streamer has more appeal than this.

Alternatively, just streaming on a schedule (aka Rule #1 for streaming professionally) would do wonders for him.

People can't watch if they don't know when it's on - and they can't include your content in their schedule if you don't have a schedule.

 

[Ghostse]

He doesn't seem to understand they put the work in, actually scripted stuff beforehand, showed up sober, actually produced content regularly, little shit like that. He thinks he can show up drunk off his ass, slurring his words, pick some boring ass shit nobody cares about, then mumble incoherently about it while occasionally disappearing off screen to do lines or whatever, and this will somehow work.

You need to watch it multiple times, have a script with time stamps, and have people you can bounce your jokes off.

 

[Leonard Helplessness]

You need to watch it multiple times, have a script with time stamps, and have people you can bounce your jokes off.

Retsupurae did a slightly decent job of just winging it for a lot of their videos (wherein they’d find some terrible let’s play and brutally mock it) but they weren’t doing it for the money; it wasn’t a fucking job to my understanding. Also, even with their videos being pretty short so as to not bore the audience, many still fell flat.

Richard thinks all he needs to do to attract an audience is play decades-old specific-purpose non-feature videos that seem slightly cringy and squeal “GRANDMAAAAAA” over them. Thus, his most loyal fan is fucking Mandy G.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Retsupurae did a slightly decent job of just winging it for a lot of their videos (wherein they’d find some terrible let’s play and brutally mock it) but they weren’t doing it for the money; it wasn’t a fucking job to my understanding. Also, even with their videos being pretty short so as to not bore the audience, many still fell flat.

Richard thinks all he needs to do to attract an audience is play decades-old specific-purpose videos that seem slightly cringy and squeal “GRANDMAAAAAA” over them. Thus, his most loyal fan is fucking Mandy G.

Lowtax is going to cling tightly to old goon wacky zany humor because he thinks that will get him the same people who gave him $15,000+ a month back to giving him money for nothing again.

 

[RJ MacReady]

He doesn't seem to understand they put the work in, actually scripted stuff beforehand, showed up sober, actually produced content regularly, little shit like that. He thinks he can show up drunk off his ass, slurring his words, pick some boring ass shit nobody cares about, then mumble incoherently about it while occasionally disappearing off screen to do lines or whatever, and this will somehow work.

I wonder if Mike Nelson even knows about Lowtax's self-ruination or if he's going to be the target of Richard's next career-shattering SA front page exposé which is definitely coming very soon.

 

[smackpops]

I wonder if Mike Nelson even knows about Lowtax's self-ruination or if he's going to be the target of Richard's next career-shattering SA front page exposé which is definitely coming very soon.

Im pretty sure someone told him lowt was a wife beater druggie etc. n he was like uhhh we dont have any relationship with him then they took down the one dvd or w/e they was selling that low t was on.

 

[Maude Snew]

Lowtax has been purged from their site completely, that was posted quite a few pages ago at this point. I seem to remember them briefly talking on the phone like last december before all this shit hit but somehow I doubt that Mike would take his call these days.

 

[TinyKitty]

The Rifftrax guys cut Lowtax loose a long time ago. His only riff (done with just Mike) was Troll 2 and it was embarrassingly bad. Lowtax has the flattest delivery and the worst timing of anyone I've ever heard attempt comedy; Mike tries valiantly to carry him, but it's a painful and mostly very boring watch. Between that and being voted "least favorite riff" a bunch of times on their community boards, they finally pulled it from their store entirely along with a couple of other not-very-good early efforts.

The only other thing Lowtax ever did with them was a guest appearance in 2012 at one of the live shows, where he managed to look both stoned and terrified, mumbled a few bad one-liners, and showed a couple of Axe-Cop-type short films Shmorky made about one of his daughter's dumb kid stories. That was it for him and Rifftrax.

Mike is a good guy, though. A year after that when Lowtax was trying to get Gaming Garbage subscriber numbers up, Mike did a fifteen minute guest star call-in riffing with him on a game. It didn't help. Mike's professionalism and actually-amusing jokes just made Lowtax sound even more unfunny and tedious.

Garbage Game: "Miami Traffic 3" (with Mike Nelson)

 

[AnOminous]

The Rifftrax guys cut Lowtax loose a long time ago. His only riff (done with just Mike) was Troll 2 and it was embarrassingly bad. Lowtax has the flattest delivery and the worst timing of anyone I've ever heard attempt comedy; Mike tries valiantly to carry him, but it's a painful and mostly very boring watch. Between that and being voted "least favorite riff" a bunch of times on their community boards, they finally pulled it from their store entirely along with a couple of other not-very-good early efforts.

The only other thing Lowtax ever did with them was a guest appearance in 2012 at one of the live shows, where he managed to look both stoned and terrified, mumbled a few bad one-liners, and showed a couple of Axe-Cop-type short films Shmorky made about one of his daughter's dumb kid stories. That was it for him and Rifftrax.

Mike is a good guy, though. A year after that when Lowtax was trying to get Gaming Garbage subscriber numbers up, Mike did a fifteen minute guest star call-in riffing with him on a game. It didn't help. Mike's professionalism and actually-amusing jokes just made Lowtax sound even more unfunny and tedious.

Garbage Game: "Miami Traffic 3" (with Mike Nelson)

Anyone who didn't suck could have turned an assist like this into a minor career. Lowtax, who is King Midas in reverse, turns everything he touches into shit.

 

[Ghostse]

The Rifftrax guys cut Lowtax loose a long time ago. His only riff (done with just Mike) was Troll 2 and it was embarrassingly bad. Lowtax has the flattest delivery and the worst timing of anyone I've ever heard attempt comedy; Mike tries valiantly to carry him, but it's a painful and mostly very boring watch. Between that and being voted "least favorite riff" a bunch of times on their community boards, they finally pulled it from their store entirely along with a couple of other not-very-good early efforts.

The only other thing Lowtax ever did with them was a guest appearance in 2012 at one of the live shows, where he managed to look both stoned and terrified, mumbled a few bad one-liners, and showed a couple of Axe-Cop-type short films Shmorky made about one of his daughter's dumb kid stories. That was it for him and Rifftrax.

Mike is a good guy, though. A year after that when Lowtax was trying to get Gaming Garbage subscriber numbers up, Mike did a fifteen minute guest star call-in riffing with him on a game. It didn't help. Mike's professionalism and actually-amusing jokes just made Lowtax sound even more unfunny and tedious.

Garbage Game: "Miami Traffic 3" (with Mike Nelson)

They also had him on stage for one of the Riff Trax Live panel riffs which, thank god, they seem to have stopped. Shit was so cringe.

 

[Sabrina]

They had prerecorded a riff on Reefer Madness and showed it in theaters, don't remember the year but it was pre-2011

 

[Brain Problems]

Maybe I'm in the minority here but I never found any of the riff-trax stuff very funny at all so the fact that Rich could somehow fuck up such a low bar is quite the accomplishment.

Spoiler

I had a friend invite me to one of their things at the local cinema a few years ago where they were supposedly riffing all over Night of the Living Dead and I sat stone-faced and wished we were just watching the movie normally.