Horrorcow Lucas Werner - A man of Spokane, Washington who is obsessed with millennial and Gen Z chicks

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

I really wonder what would happen if Lucas was set up with an ideal chick, and it inevitably fails.

He has absolutely no plan for when that happens. He's so sure that he can convince a chick to be his mate for life if he's given the opportunity.

I think he'd get violent at that point.

What id love to see is a really ballsy catfish go on a recorded fake date where theyd get bailed out a few minutes in by a guy wearing a pickle suit and a flatbill coming in to recruit them into his harem. Would be great to hear him ranting about how the socialists need to rise up against the classism of the pickle men in the name of god emperor Biden

Personally i think what i would want to do if i were going to waste money would be mail packs of cards to every hotel room he stays at and write the number to a rejection hotline or something similar on the backs of the cards so that he calls them up each time just in the slim chance its actually a zoomer bae giving him their number. I would just love for him to be angrily going around to all the other hobos giving out packs of cards that his chances of a relationship arent in. That and unlike catfish meat he cant eat or fuck cards

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

In the IG comments he mentioned he got an Uber from the Motel 6.

The only reason I'm bothered by people buying Lucas things is because he thinks they're doing it because he's special and oh so likable.

It's really just because people are feeling sorry for a charity case.

 

[mothman96]

I really wonder what would happen if Lucas was set up with an ideal chick, and it inevitably fails.

He has absolutely no plan for when that happens. He's so sure that he can convince a chick to be his mate for life if he's given the opportunity.

I think he'd get violent at that point.

I wouldn't want to put a girl in that position. Lucas has a huge amount of pent up sexual frustration and rage.

In the IG comments he mentioned he got an Uber from the Motel 6.

Seeing how the Freak managed to get himself all the way up to Northtown Mall, he showed the one that payed for the Uber to be a fool. Just another example he's a flaming manipulative Narcissist.

ETA:
Found the comment where he said he got the Uber and $100 in food.

 

[Jeremiah the Bullfrog]

'

I wouldn't want to put a girl in that position. Lucas has a huge amount of pent up sexual frustration and rage.

He can barely keep himself composed in casual conversation and/or walking down the street. While he'll cower down when he's talking to someone who he views as an authority figure, I don't know that he would if he found himself in a semi-isolated place with a woman.

Look at how he behaved at the HOC when the nursing student simply declined to give him her phone number? How do you think it would go if he thought he was going to get laid and got rejected when there weren't security guards to control the situation?

 

[Iseecovidpeople]

Lucas
In case you do read this thread I have a story/antidote for you.
When I was 18 and my degenerate high school boyfriend was 19 we were homeless. Well....he was homeless and I was in love so I was homeless while trailing after his destructive wake.

Fast forward 11 years and we have both moved on, well actually I moved on and he went to prison. He’s out of prison and back on the streets, he manages to swoop himself an 18 year old girlfriend that is also living on the streets.

Fast forward another 11 years and I’m sure he will swoop himself another 18 year old girlfriend when he gets out in a year.

Calm down Lucas, I can hear you heavy breathing.
I am absolutely going to tell you how he manages this.

He’s hot
That’s it.
He’s a hot bad boy that can impress stupid young girls by stealing cars.

TAAAADAAA

 

[mothman96]

Happy voices around him. It looks to be all those happy voices are ignoring him.
Recording the people in the shelter?

 

[Gaear Grimsrud]

ROFL. What the hell is this? What's this supposed to prove?

Oops, somebody else already posted it.

 

[mothman96]

ROFL. What the hell is this? What's this supposed to prove?

Oops, somebody else already posted it.

All I can think see-- he's not part of the happy voices.

 

[BowlOfDick]

I’m honestly finding Lucas’s current state more boring than when he was locked in the loony bin. At least then there was some mystique to the situation.

We need a return to tradition, where we vilified those who tried to interact with Lucas. Stop feeding him and let us watch him fester.

 

[Marshal Mannerheim]

Canada does have much stricter internet harassment laws than the US.

I don't think catfishing is enough to get you arrested, even in Canuckistan.

 

[Mia Graine]

This thread in one year has blown up into such uncontrolled spergatory that I can't even imagine where we'll be this time next year. Where's your votes at,

-Will Lucas be dead by this time next year?
-Will he finally snap and commit a violent sex crime?
-Will this thread get completely taken over by the "long time lurker here" newfags until it's not even about wernology anymore and just a bunch of off topic conversations about Brit slang and asking for Wern lore in bite size chunks instead of reading through the thread?

Unless something life shattering happens to trigger actual violence, he's too afraid/lazy to commit anything. Dead is honestly more likely but still he's a cockroach so also doubtful. Long time lurker has my bet.

I really wonder what would happen if Lucas was set up with an ideal chick, and it inevitably fails.

He has absolutely no plan for when that happens. He's so sure that he can convince a chick to be his mate for life if he's given the opportunity.

I think he'd get violent at that point.

This would 100% be the violence trigger.

 

[WonderWino]

Nothing screams, "I'M SUCCESSFUL!" like filming in a public bathroom at 6:40 in the evening.

I'm going to be a responsible adult and get to bed before midnight and I'm sure our favorite hobo princess will put more shit out tonight so I may wait until tomorrow evening to compile what will likely be more smug idiocy that'll be churned out between me going to bed and tomorrow evening.

I think what I enjoy most about this chapter is that he still clearly doesn't know how to plan ahead; he keeps getting more food than he can eat then gives other hobos the scraps, thinking that makes him look good, and you know damn well that $50 is already burning a hole in his pocket.

Tubby has a payee for a reason: He can't manage money without an actual adult involved. Every time he has money, whether it's the scraps of his own SSDI that he gets or money some moron gave him because they're under the impression he's not cut a government check on the regular, he blows it all within 3-5 days then panics.

He also keeps talking about how little effort he puts into it, which is totally going to make more people want to pay him $50. I wonder if he realizes that people can stop payments or request refunds either just because they were dicking with him to begin with or if they aren't satisfied with his "work".

....He also farted in the middle of the video

Usually by the time you get to be those guys' age, you realize they were hanging out with kids because no one else could stand them. Lucas hasn't figured this out yet. He thinks being a 41 year old in college makes him a hip cat with a finger on the pulse of the youth culture, instead of someone 20 years behind in life.

Which is why he continues to use absurdly outdated terms and references. Calling people 'cool cats' like hes back in the 70s watching the mod squad, and his fashion sense is stuck somewhere around 1994

Lucas is pretty much a horrifying, severely mentally ill version of gary busey if his life had gone to shit at a young age and he became an obese pedo

I FORGOT ABOUT PORTA POTTY LUCAS! now I remember someone taped him yelling in the porta potty and that was fucking gold

Speaking of tape and porta potties, whoever did that should have wrapped a few layers of duct tape around the whole thing to trap lucas inside for awhile with his own stench and then recorded his reaction. I can see lucas going batshit and screeching like a psychotic loon when he realized hes trapped in the outhouse. I mean can you imagine walking by some outhouse taped shut and hearing somebody screaming psychotically about trump, republicans, little girls and bigots inside? Oh yeah i'm sure people would be lining up to rescue him

Unless something life shattering happens to trigger actual violence, he's too afraid/lazy to commit anything. Dead is honestly more likely but still he's a cockroach so also doubtful. Long time lurker has my bet.

He's been violent and gone full stalker before. It only took an middle aged guy having lunch with his daughter nearby to make him lose his shit and set in motion an escalating situation that landed him in jail the last time

 

[MeganDodgedABullet]

I had to get the last Golden USB podcast to reupload, because it's great to listen to Lucas have an over an hour long constant screaming meltdown.

"Don't give into those people who try to get you on podcasts, they're just trying to use you" is yet another instance of someone giving Lucas good advice and him ignoring it entirely.

I'm still convinced he's autistic, which I'm admittedly basing on what I was like as an actually diagnosed by professionals autistic kid.

I never understood why other kids thought I was weird and didn't want to be around me, because I definitely wanted to be friends with everyone but, looking back as an equally autistic adult, only now with years of CBT and, oddly enough, medication (dealing with the ADD, anxiety, and depression cuts way back on the 'coming off as a weird pod person' vibes, shockingly enough) that let me appear relatively normal unless you're spending massive amounts of time around me and I run out of Normal Person Things to use in the conversation, I was a creepy kid.

I'd stare, rarely blinking, at people while they were talking, if they were doing something interesting, or just because I'd spaced out.
I had very weird interests that weren't normal for a little kid; they weren't abnormal overall, they were just things more commonly associated with adults, like being super into obscure areas of science, focusing on certain historical periods, sounding like a fucking wikipedia article on any given topic because chances are I'd devoured books on it (pre-internet days whee!), and absolutely would infodump on anyone who asked me even the simplest question.

And I was bad at reading social cues, I couldn't tell when someone else was uncomfortable or bored or wanted to get away from me so I'd just...keep talking at them, and it definitely made other kids think that I was weird/creepy/that something was wrong with me.

I'd pay Lucas $50 to make an "insult comic" video at me if there was verifiable proof that he wasn't a weird fucking autistic kid because what his mom describes on that blog post and how Lucas acts now is just like a weird fucking autistic kid.

Difference is MY parents realized something was more than a little off about me and did their own researching and studying along with working with professionals to try and help me out the best that I could be helped out and I ended up being able to mostly tell when something I was doing was what other people would consider weird. They never made me feel bad about the way I was or like there was something wrong with me, it was more, "everyone's normal is different, but it's also not up to everyone else to accommodate you, and you need to learn how to accommodate others' needs as well" along with, "Some people just won't like you no matter what you do, don't waste your time trying to change their minds."

His mom just coddled the shit out of him and probably told him he was perfect, nothing was wrong with him, and it was everyone else who was the problem. That shows in his adult behavior: He thinks he's perfect, nothing is wrong with him, and it's everyone else who is the problem.

This is a thing with many a lolcow - CWC and DSP for sure. All shitheads who would've benefited from a solid parental backhander...

What id love to see is a really ballsy catfish go on a recorded fake date where theyd get bailed out a few minutes in by a guy wearing a pickle suit and a flatbill coming in to recruit them into his harem. Would be great to hear him ranting about how the socialists need to rise up against the classism of the pickle men in the name of god emperor Biden

Personally i think what i would want to do if i were going to waste money would be mail packs of cards to every hotel room he stays at and write the number to a rejection hotline or something similar on the backs of the cards so that he calls them up each time just in the slim chance its actually a zoomer bae giving him their number. I would just love for him to be angrily going around to all the other hobos giving out packs of cards that his chances of a relationship arent in. That and unlike catfish meat he cant eat or fuck cards

Wernology's own Catherine and man in pickle suit ( flat bill bigitt)

 

[Dumpsterfire Enthusiast]

Idk what you guys think but im thinking crapper capitalist Luke is my favorite version of Lucas so far. Its just great seeing him acting so arrogant like hes some big shot when he's joining people streams making fun of him for food. But not little caesars though because such peasant chow is beneath the Wern and the Wern aint no bitch

Seriously though i hope he starts IRL streaming to properly make a job out of being humiliated

 

[denysdemontfort]

I'm pretty bored of the constant cash and food begging but I have a feeling this will be a quick jaunt. I think his greed for expensive steak dinners will have exhausted the supply of the few people who pity him.

That $600 stimulus is going to get sent out pretty quick but I don't know how that's handled with him. I suspect we'll have a week of this and then more Motel Lucas before the real desperation sets back in.

 

[CrazyAsHell]

I thought these questions merited a response, we are fast approaching 1200 pages and I can certainly sympathize with someone looking for a current rundown on our boy.

What exactly Lucas Werner is we don’t have a name for outside the metaphorical implication of “Cow” that we like to employ here at the farms in addition to the more immediate sense of Lucas’ obesity, his lethal diet, and atrocious eating habits that will make you ill. Frankly he is an amalgamation of so many different vices, flaws, and characteristics, that an entire field Wernology has sprung up around him across multiple platforms and communities. The scholarship of Wernology is broadly divided into two related and dependent subfields. The first subfield is devoted to the observation of Lucas in the wild, faithfully describing his words, appearances, and actions, and ultimately archiving and curating Lucas material for broader consumption. The second subfield is largely dedicated to more speculative work, developing theories of mind that can accurately predict Lucas’ erratic behavior and explain the many inexplicable things he does just interfacing with the world around him.

Spoiler: Anatomy of Tardation

Everyone agrees that Lucas is a profoundly disturbed individual, but the nature of that disturbance is up for debate and unless health records or some high quality deep insider information is somehow leaked to us, there doesn’t appear to be any resolution. Mental illness is another given and the two most popular diagnoses are Bipolar Disorder and Schizophrenia; Lucas claims to receive disability from the Social Security Administration for Bipolar and has mentioned that he was suspected of having Schizophrenia in the past, but denies having it. It is common for people suffering from Bipolar Disorder to initially be suspected of having Schizophrenia because a manic person often presents as being in a psychosis in ways that look very much like untreated Schizophrenia. In any case, both conditions can be quite debilitating and can easily qualify for formal disability benefits.

Everyone agrees that Lucas has a disordered personality and there seems to be a general agreement that Narcissistic Personality Disorder is in play, but cases could be made for Borderline Personality Disorder, if not outright Psychopathy. Just in case I should mention that personality disorders are distinct from mental disorders, the latter of which is easily linked to certain physical brain states that are temporary and can be controlled with pharmaceutical and non-pharmaceutical interventions. Having a disordered personality is much harder to treat because unlike being closely linked to discrete brain chemistry, your personality is more fundamental to your character and identity than your emotions or cognition. Getting labeled as someone with a disordered personality can actually be a huge setback for a person, because their behavior is notoriously difficult to treat and they are absolutely the worst kind of people to be around and care for.

Labels aside the most important aspect of Lucas having a disordered personality is his incredible shallowness. There isn’t much going on behind those eyeballs and fat face, just absolute poverty in terms of personality and character. Lucas doesn’t have a sense of his own humanity, just his base desires that totally fuel his behavior in a mechanical fashion. Lucas baffles people when he starts talking about other people’s behavior and their motivations simply because he doesn’t understand any other kind of person other than himself. He can’t put himself in another person’s shoes or imagine someone feeling emotions or having thoughts he doesn’t have. Genuine empathy and sympathy are things that are mysterious to Lucas and he only knows them in simplistic and abstract terms which he tries to act out in absurd ways. For example, there was a period where Lucas wanted to demonstrate that he was a “generous” person and so when binge eating Taco Bell he’d buy extra and then find a public place to leave the food with a note indicating it was free to anyone who wanted it. To most people this is absolutely stupid, only people on the brink of utter starvation are going to interested in eating cold fast food left out in public by God knows who, but to Lucas this was simply the milk of human kindness and rock solid evidence for his insistence that he is a caring individual.

Finally there is speculation that the strange and repugnant behavior that Lucas displays could also have other contributing factors such as Lucas being somewhere on the spectrum of autism. Others, like me, think that Lucas has a mild to nearly moderate intellectual disability. Lucas was once offered a test for autism but refused and has expressed little interest in exploring that. Lucas and members of his family have described Lucas’ life as a student, where he struggled academically and socially.

Spoiler: Lucas Werner and Elliot Rodger: Same Incel Pathology?

Lucas is very celibate and this is indeed involuntary, but does he belong to that infamous community? He certainly shares characteristics with the usual talking points from incels, but the substance and verbiage of Lucas makes him distinct. Like every incel who actively posts somewhere online, Lucas is a seething mass of sexual frustration and unrealized dreams of romantic love. Yet Lucas lacks any sort of display of self loathing, he doesn’t dwell at all on his physical appearance, and doesn’t blame the genetic lottery for his current condition. Lucas also doesn’t break society down into terms like “Alpha” and “Beta” males, doesn’t use the “Chad” and “Stacy” terminology, and seems more or less oblivious to imageboard culture where contemporary incels originated.

Yet Lucas does share some important characteristics with modern Inceldom. Smoldering rage in response to a non-existant or lackluster love life is probably the biggest. Lucas isn’t a virgin and did actually have an exclusive and voluntary relationship with an adult woman who happened to be older than him, but the relationship ended messily with Lucas getting slammed with a Domestic Violence conviction. Lucas has a certain comfort with violence and it can play a role when he fantasizes about sexual conquests or gaining revenge against those who have done him wrong.
Not to put too fine a point on it, but Lucas is fucking retarded and is as dumb as he is fat. That said Lucas does possess a strong baseline for cunning behavior and he shows restraint when in the presence of adult men or other people with authority. Lucas will frequent places teenage females can be found and observe them from afar, yet the longer he lingers around young flesh the greater the chance he’ll attempt some kind of behavior that pushes social boundaries. Lucas has been banned from coffee shops, bars, parks, and even homeless shelters because of his behavior.

Misogyny plays a large role in Lucas’ antics, though he’ll claim the title of feminist. Lucas primarily speaks of women as sexual chattel with no meaningful agency, but unlike many incels Lucas hesitates often to lay the blame on women themselves for not succumbing to his sexual desires and instead tries to lay the blame at the feet of various other groups such as jealous young men, Republicans, Christians, other men of his generation or older “stealing” his “research” and using it to great effect. Other times he likes to blame social maladies such as general bigotry, classism, or agephobia, for creating an environment where women are encouraged to ignore him.

The important thing to realize here is that Lucas generally thinks that if young women were left to their own devices they would find Lucas not only attractive, but also witty and charming. Lucas cannot meaningfully conceive of a young woman who wouldn’t find him attractive at all and that if nature was somehow in control then he’d be breeding nubile teens for the rest of his days.

Much like Elliot Rodger Lucas Werner has the capacity for violence, consistently engages in escalating unacceptable behavior (Elliot started down his path of murder-suicide by throwing coffee and young couples in public places). Both men also share an overwhelming tendency for delusions of grandeur; Lucas loves to speculate that he is descended from royalty, that he will one day be wealthy due to inheritance, and that he belongs to some kind of elite class of enlightened human beings that are destined to shape the world. Elliot had similar views about himself though he was a bit more modest.

So to answer the question: Lucas is a sexual predator who represents a danger to women and he shares many characteristics with the most dangerous and unstable of infamous Incels, he doesn’t share in or otherwise participate in broader incel culture. He would reject any such comparison and would consider incels to be trumpanzee losers not worthy of his time.

Spoiler: Of Euphoria and Wokeness

As you have learned Lucas is both an incredibly shallow person and also painfully stupid. Lucas has a primal drive to seek the company of other people and to somehow relate to them, but he is forever stuck trying to relate to an alien culture he doesn’t understand because his own humanity is nearly non-existent.Thusly Lucas seeks out communities frequented by young women and then tries to join those communities to gain sexual access to teenagers. The result is that Lucas will adopt customs and mannerisms as a gateway to social interaction and once obtained will then try to crudely manipulate a female into a position where sex is expected or perceived as being “owed” to him. This often takes the form of bartering food, drugs, shelter, etc for sexual favors or by his own admission, he’ll try to blackmail or exhort sex from people if he thinks he has actionable knowledge on criminal behavior. Lucas actually lost a coveted subsidized housing situation by threatening drug addicts with exposure unless women were obtained for him.

Like so much Matthew Mcconaughey in ‘Dazed and Confused’ Lucas continues to get older while his victim population stays the same age. Back when Millennials were the “18-24” age group, Lucas was doing his shtick in the Skeptic and Atheist community back during the earliest decades of the 21st century. I was active in that community and this is when he came on to my radar, because he had a growing reputation for the kind of batshit behavior that earned him this thread. During this period Lucas picked up the habit of venerating the scientific method and claiming intellectual allegiance to always and only following “evidence”. It was here I think that Lucas really came into his intellectual pretensions and the delusion that he is highly intelligent.

However as skepticism and atheism passed as a cultural blip and Millennials aged out of the 18-24 bracket, replaced by Generation Z. Lucas then drifted into social justice activist culture (as did many other male sex pests catalogued in this august forum) and adorned himself with the trappings of young radicals. Here Lucas picked up his moral pretensions and adopted the accusatory language of “intersectionality” which ultimately gave him the gift of “age phobia” and “classism” which is now part of his daily vocabulary.

To be sure the disciplines of philosophy, science, and economics are entirely unknown to him. They are merely repositories for buzzwords that he can liberally borrow from to pass as an actual human being in our world. Lucas uses lexical cues like “Black Lives Matter” the same way a fly fisherman uses brightly colored metals in his lures to attract fish, to get young women to interact with him in the hopes of getting them on the hook for sex. Lucas doesn’t care about anyone else or anything else, just fulfilling his desires.

In the final analysis Lucas wants teenage flesh, he constantly references the 18-24 age range only as a learned behavior. He has expressed worrying sexual interest in children as young as 12 and college freshmen seem to be the upper boundary of what he deems acceptable. He feels that young women the world over would be surrendering their mind, body, and souls to him were it not for a greedy society goading them into agephobia and classism. He consistently engages in gross and calculated manipulation to obtain what he wants from people and will not hesitate to do this to young women if given the chance. He is dysfunctional on every level of human consciousness and unconsciousness and cannot get along with anyone for long unless they are strictly enabling him.

He wants you @CrazyAsHell to find a female teenager and give him her contact information because as he sees it, it is already a foregone conclusion that she'll fuck his brains out and mother his children, why wouldn't she? Lucas is a great person to be around! You, as do the rest of us, bear the collective responsibility of undoing the evils of agephobia and classism by offering up the fertile wombs of young women. Research into telemores and scientific study vaginal intercourse between 50 year old men and 16 year old children will unlock the secrets of healthier babies, rises in aggregate IQ scores in the general population, the need for corrective lenses dissipating, and finally give rise of the Homo-superior over the Homo-sapiens!

Wow! That was a ton of info and I thank you for being kind enough to post this. I think I have a pretty good picture into this diseased mind now.

 

[Particle Bored]

No one recorded him in the PortaPotty. Someone (@A Big Bumbling Black Man I think) took one of his porta-rants and muffled it and played it over a still of a PortaPotty. And yes, it was funny as hell.

Seriously though i hope he starts IRL streaming to properly make a job out of being humiliated

God no. IRL idiots make way too much in superchats. And he's not smart enough to actually make it funny with TTS.

 

[Wernology]

I’m honestly finding Lucas’s current state more boring than when he was locked in the loony bin. At least then there was some mystique to the situation.

We need a return to tradition, where we vilified those who tried to interact with Lucas. Stop feeding him and let us watch him fester.

The main upside to this chapter is that, when it inevitably ends, when the novelty of Lucas fades from the people who have just discovered him, it's going to completely crush his ego and mental state and he'll be worse off than he was before the last loony bin stay.

 

[Telomerase1979]

His new videos are more insufferable than ever. I can listen to him moo about fecund queefy baes and agephobic biggits all day, but him repeating “$100 of food on DoorDash!” 17 times in a 6 minute video is driving me up the wall. I hope the enabler saga ends soon.

 

[holeinthedark]

No one recorded him in the PortaPotty. Someone (@A Big Bumbling Black Man I think) took one of his porta-rants and muffled it and played it over a still of a PortaPotty. And yes, it was funny as hell.

Oh I feel stupid now LOL my apologies