Fat Acceptance Movement / Fat Girlcows

[DefCon Dumb]

Don't have to tell anybody here that weight gain for "self protection" is an unhealthy coping mechanism in response to rape or that far too many women do exactly that.

Bekah is young, can reverse any damage she's done to herself, (I sincerely hope), through rapid & excessive weight gain but more importantly, with the right therapy & support from loved ones, can eventually find emotional peace.

I hope she does; it's my opinion there's still a sweet kid buried under the weight, inappropriate guilt and sadness that shows in every one of her selfies and most of her words.

 

[brooky]

I think it's interesting that she doesn't say she's angry at her rapist.

I know carrying anger at your assailant around for years isn't exactly healthy itself, I just think it's interesting. She's still focusing on everything but the actual trauma, and I think it's obvious that she's smothering the pain with food instead of actually processing it and healing.

 

[Otterly]

I think it's interesting that she doesn't say she's angry at her rapist.

I know carrying anger at your assailant around for years isn't exactly healthy itself, I just think it's interesting. She's still focusing on everything but the actual trauma, and I think it's obvious that she's smothering the pain with food instead of actually processing it and healing.

That is interesting. I never understand why women aren’t encouraged to have a brief rage phase in therapy (enlighten me someone, maybe they are, I’m not a psychiatrist...) I know long term anger is corrosive but it’s almost like they’re not allowed to be angry. Frankly you should be angry at anyone who has raped you. Then process that, but anger short term is important because it allows you to truly perceive a wrong done. It’s alright to want to shank someone, as long as you dont actually do it. Actualy it’s fairly sexist, not being allowed to be angry isn’t it? It’s all ‘be nice.’
Her revelation isn’t a surprise - she’s the only one on this thread that i feel really, genuinely sorry for and hope she turns it around. Go out and join a hiking club, girl. You’ll find decent people who won’t judge you and aren’t living on social media.

 

[brooky]

That is interesting. I never understand why women aren’t encouraged to have a brief rage phase in therapy (enlighten me someone, maybe they are, I’m not a psychiatrist...) I know long term anger is corrosive but it’s almost like they’re not allowed to be angry. Frankly you should be angry at anyone who has raped you. Then process that, but anger short term is important because it allows you to truly perceive a wrong done. It’s alright to want to shank someone, as long as you dont actually do it. Actualy it’s fairly sexist, not being allowed to be angry isn’t it? It’s all ‘be nice.’
Her revelation isn’t a surprise - she’s the only one on this thread that i feel really, genuinely sorry for and hope she turns it around. Go out and join a hiking club, girl. You’ll find decent people who won’t judge you and aren’t living on social media.

I mean, you've gotten it. Women aren't allowed to be angry. The fact that for years she was mostly angry at herself is, I think, pretty common.

I'm sure good therapists would help her experience appropriate anger for the appropriate target, but she hasn't been getting good therapy. I really hope she can get good help. Like you and others have said, she seems like a good kid who is genuinely struggling. HAES is ruining her life.

 

[Easy Peasy]

Oh my God, Bekah. Baby, get help. You can be healthy, you dont have to be rail thin, but you dont have to wear weight as armor. I love to laugh at cows, but her story punched me in the feels

 

[Smug Cat]

In their minds there is no in-between. It's either a Kate Moss or a Tess Holliday.

Oh now we know why Bekah mutilated her body this way. She was raped/assaulted.

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Oh, no Bekah . We've long thought this was the case especially with the constant look of fear in her eyes but it's awful all the same to have it confirmed.
You're right Bekah, it was never your fault. It was never your body's fault. You don't have to hurt yourself this way to punish yourself for what someone else did. I hope she gets proper therapy and is able to recover.

That is interesting. I never understand why women aren’t encouraged to have a brief rage phase in therapy (enlighten me someone, maybe they are, I’m not a psychiatrist...) I know long term anger is corrosive but it’s almost like they’re not allowed to be angry. Frankly you should be angry at anyone who has raped you. Then process that, but anger short term is important because it allows you to truly perceive a wrong done. It’s alright to want to shank someone, as long as you dont actually do it. Actualy it’s fairly sexist, not being allowed to be angry isn’t it? It’s all ‘be nice.’
Her revelation isn’t a surprise - she’s the only one on this thread that i feel really, genuinely sorry for and hope she turns it around. Go out and join a hiking club, girl. You’ll find decent people who won’t judge you and aren’t living on social media.

The forgiveness narrative that is pushed on rape victims always disgusts me. People treat it like forgiving your rapist is a moral virtue or that it's "good for you" or "more healthy." No. It makes it easier for society to brush rape under the rug if you forgive. They do it with Roman Polanski's child rape victim all the time, "oh well she's forgiven him why can't you?" It's easier for society if they can force that narrative on the victim so they don't have to address the problem or think about it. Personally, I think rage directed at the rapist is the most appropriate and healthy emotional reaction and if a rape victim wants to stay angry about it for the rest of their lives good for them. Processing your anger in a healthy way doesn't have to mean not being angry anymore. And the rest of us should be angry too, imo.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Oh my God, Bekah. Baby, get help. You can be healthy, you dont have to be rail thin, but you dont have to wear weight as armor. I love to laugh at cows, but her story punched me in the feels

It makes me pretty angry to think she could have just gotten some therapy, not just meds and work through this if HAES bullshit hadn't sucked her in. Everything in her screams "I'm sorry to excist!" and the fat acceptance shit is not helping her. As said before, she needs to grt offline and get some real life social life.

 

[Cardboard Box Mountain]

That is interesting. I never understand why women aren’t encouraged to have a brief rage phase in therapy (enlighten me someone, maybe they are, I’m not a psychiatrist...) I know long term anger is corrosive but it’s almost like they’re not allowed to be angry. Frankly you should be angry at anyone who has raped you. Then process that, but anger short term is important because it allows you to truly perceive a wrong done. It’s alright to want to shank someone, as long as you dont actually do it. Actualy it’s fairly sexist, not being allowed to be angry isn’t it? It’s all ‘be nice.’
Her revelation isn’t a surprise - she’s the only one on this thread that i feel really, genuinely sorry for and hope she turns it around. Go out and join a hiking club, girl. You’ll find decent people who won’t judge you and aren’t living on social media.

Ya got me. I don't care what anyone thinks, if I have a reason to be angry I will be fucking angry and it will be visible and audible. Not ladylike? Eat my ass. IDGAF.

In this day and age, no one will punish Bekah for being angry at the bellend who raped her. She can shout, throw rocks, stab a pillow, anything that expresses it without harming living beings. Eating herself into an early grave instead is horrible and sad.

 

[Fliddaroonie]

She is right to be angry and if she never wants to forgive the creature who raped her, then I would never say that's wrong.


Women are pushed into the box of meek and nice and pliant by sexist pieces of shit. She should get in touch with Glasgow women's aid. They can put her in touch with extremely good therapists who have a feminist and woman centred take who will totally be able to help her and do so from a place of "you be as pissed off as you want, you're right to be".



Poor, poor girl.

 

[PuffyGroundCloud]

Fuck, I feel really bad for Bekah.
Didn't she has a law degree?
Maybe if she got proper therapy, she could volunteer to help women as a legal consultant or something.

 

[brooky]

Anger and fear are emotions that can save your fucking life. They tell you when something is wrong. They tell you where you need to go.

But they are also unpleasant. Humans are prone to all sorts of maladjustments when dealing with a large amount of anger, fear, or sadness. Overeating is just one of those poor coping mechanisms.

Bekah and other girls like her don't need HAES. They need good therapy, a friend who will actually listen to venting instead of interrupting with platitudes, and maybe something like boxing lessons. They need to find true self love and respect.

And they also need supportive partners, or no partners at all. How can Bekah's boyfriend sit by and let her do this to herself? How is he okay with the photos she posts? He must be getting something out of it, which makes him seem really gross imo.

 

[gay frogs]

In their minds there is no in-between. It's either a Kate Moss or a Tess Holliday.

Oh now we know why Bekah mutilated her body this way. She was raped/assaulted.

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And water is wet.

I think it's interesting that she doesn't say she's angry at her rapist.

I know carrying anger at your assailant around for years isn't exactly healthy itself, I just think it's interesting. She's still focusing on everything but the actual trauma, and I think it's obvious that she's smothering the pain with food instead of actually processing it and healing.

She probably still blames herself sometimes, despite this essay. Even with all of the outreach and feel good after school special nonsense, there is still a lot of blame being put on victims, by society and themselves. I can easily see her being angry at herself because she didn't do all of the impossible things were supposed to do right.

That is interesting. I never understand why women aren’t encouraged to have a brief rage phase in therapy (enlighten me someone, maybe they are, I’m not a psychiatrist...) I know long term anger is corrosive but it’s almost like they’re not allowed to be angry. Frankly you should be angry at anyone who has raped you. Then process that, but anger short term is important because it allows you to truly perceive a wrong done. It’s alright to want to shank someone, as long as you dont actually do it. Actualy it’s fairly sexist, not being allowed to be angry isn’t it? It’s all ‘be nice.’
Her revelation isn’t a surprise - she’s the only one on this thread that i feel really, genuinely sorry for and hope she turns it around. Go out and join a hiking club, girl. You’ll find decent people who won’t judge you and aren’t living on social media.

She really does make me sad too. She seems like she's trying on the personality of body posi instagrammer but you can tell it doesn't fit. She's tugging at it like a too small shirt.

 

[Otterly]

I wonder how many women take shame and anger out on themselves? Almost all of us? Society doesn’t process shame well, and rapists operate in the murky zones where ‘a few drinks’ makes any case a he said-she said and almost impossible to prosecute. Women seem to think that only ‘virtuous’ rape victims are worthy of feeling no shame and those they think are the minority who are dragged off the street kicking and screaming. The reality is that that kind of rape is thankfully very rare. The vast majority is of the kind bekah seems to have experienced. People known to each other, a drink or two, and an ignored no. That’s how predators operate, because they KNOW they’ll get away with it. It leaves the victim blaming themselves, and the aggressor able to have deniability.
So women turn their shame and anger into themselves, and they often put weight on because it’s solid armour as someone said just now, and it makes them unattractive (‘if I look bad no one will be after me’) and it punishes themselves. Publishing on social media is another form of self abuse, reenacting humiliation with the added reinforcement of social media likes. Masochistic...
HAES is actively making these girls worse because instead of seeing weight gain as a maladaptive cry for love and healing and protection they see it as a good thing - and it’s not. Rape is never the victims fault, regardless of being a bit squiffy or even quite paralytically drunk.
I second women’s aid, if any of you reading this are in the uk and have experienced similar - Strathclyde police are also surprisingly clued in on domestic violence (they do good work with football related wife beating.)
Ok I’m all sad now. Off elsewhere to laugh at Cows who deserve it.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

I wonder how many women take shame and anger out on themselves? Almost all of us? Society doesn’t process shame well, and rapists operate in the murky zones where ‘a few drinks’ makes any case a he said-she said and almost impossible to prosecute. Women seem to think that only ‘virtuous’ rape victims are worthy of feeling no shame and those they think are the minority who are dragged off the street kicking and screaming. The reality is that that kind of rape is thankfully very rare. The vast majority is of the kind bekah seems to have experienced. People known to each other, a drink or two, and an ignored no. That’s how predators operate, because they KNOW they’ll get away with it. It leaves the victim blaming themselves, and the aggressor able to have deniability.
So women turn their shame and anger into themselves, and they often put weight on because it’s solid armour as someone said just now, and it makes them unattractive (‘if I look bad no one will be after me’) and it punishes themselves. Publishing on social media is another form of self abuse, reenacting humiliation with the added reinforcement of social media likes. Masochistic...
HAES is actively making these girls worse because instead of seeing weight gain as a maladaptive cry for love and healing and protection they see it as a good thing - and it’s not. Rape is never the victims fault, regardless of being a bit squiffy or even quite paralytically drunk.
I second women’s aid, if any of you reading this are in the uk and have experienced similar - Strathclyde police are also surprisingly clued in on domestic violence (they do good work with football related wife beating.)
Ok I’m all sad now. Off elsewhere to laugh at Cows who deserve it.

Knowing what I know now about Bekah’s current mental landscape, I’m just gonna scroll past any future updates on her content. Call me a piss-baby all day long, but I don’t think she deserves to be conflated with the more egregious HAES posters. She’s not like that dependa that blew up after the wedding, or the cow that thinks unsuccessful weight loss should be a full-time job. She’s a damaged woman posting under HAES tags as an extension of her self-harm. And that’s no fun as a spectator, in fact it’s a giant fat-lady-shaped bummer.

 

[Fliddaroonie]

I second women’s aid, if any of you reading this are in the uk and have experienced similar - Strathclyde police are also surprisingly clued in on domestic violence (they do good work with football related wife beating.)
Ok I’m all sad now. Off elsewhere to laugh at Cows who deserve it.

Not sure about other cities but o know Glasgow taxis and hampden cabs both other female drivers for women leaving an abuse situation or something similar.

 

[one_time_user]

the saying is 'men hurt others , women hurt themselves' wrt pain from trauma or even in general.

 

[NoReturn]

Why do they always write these fucking navel-gazey essays?

Not much else to do while waiting for your husbean to empty the bed pan during TLC commercial breaks.

Knowing what I know now about Bekah’s current mental landscape, I’m just gonna scroll past any future updates on her content. Call me a piss-baby all day long, but I don’t think she deserves to be conflated with the more egregious HAES posters. She’s not like that dependa that blew up after the wedding, or the cow that thinks unsuccessful weight loss should be a full-time job. She’s a damaged woman posting under HAES tags as an extension of her self-harm. And that’s no fun as a spectator, in fact it’s a giant fat-lady-shaped bummer.

If anything, Bekah is a perfect example of why the other cows who promote this shit deserve to be openly criticized. This poor girl needs help and therapy, probably even meds, but her diet and this HAES shit is doing her and her mental health no favors whatsoever.

 

[blue gopher snakes]

If anything, Bekah is a perfect example of why the other cows who promote this shit deserve to be openly criticized. This poor girl needs help and therapy, probably even meds, but her diet and this HAES shit is doing her and her mental health no favors whatsoever.

And honestly this is why I give her boyfriend a conditional pass. For all we know, he is extremely concerned about how Bekah is rapidly and publicly spiraling but doesn’t know how to broach the subject since HAES and fatty activists have made it verboten to show concern for a ballooning loved one.

I mean. It’s kind of cliche but think of how some women would react if their SO told them “hey your ass looks fat as hell in that dress, maybe you should wear something else?” Now imagine the scenario is “hey you are completely unrecognizable from rapid weight gain, and these lingerie thirst posts on your Instagram all look like they were taken at gunpoint, you ok?”

I think it’s way more likely that he IS worried about her but unsure how to help than he’s some eeeeevil secret fetishist feeding her for his own sick perversions.

 

[AbraCadaver]

It’s kind of sad that people like Bekah have this “don’t judge me, you don’t know what I’m going through!” attitude...and yet we all called it before she even posted about her assault. We almost pinpointed the year it happened. She can post sunshiney captions to her photos about loving and nourishing the body that houses her and giving it gentle acceptance blah blah blah...

But the truth is, and always was, in the photos she takes of herself. Her sudden weight gain that occurred at the same time as her academic stumbles and eventual crash into compensating with food; her haunted eyes that always look fearful even as she tries to smile; her forced, unnatural smiles that are more fake than a Prada handbag from a street vendor; her need to post endless public underwear pictures that just scream “cry for help” and “punishing oneself through humiliation”...

Poor girl needs therapy, not a bunch of whales yelling “YASSSS QUEEEEN KILLING IT, YOU DO YOU, TREAT YOSELF, CURVY GODDESS” at her. HAES is fucking poisonous to people with mental problems and trauma. Accepting her current weight is not her main problem, it’s the pain she refuses to deal with and tries to bury under food.

We’ve harped on why her hair is orange and her knickers are ill-fitting and she generally looks sloppy in these “lingerie” photos, and now I begin to wonder if that’s not unconsciously intentional. Like a woman gaining weight to “protect” herself from future assault, maybe she humiliates herself like this and looks intentionally bad and makes poor fashion and hair choices as an extension of that protection. “Look at me, I’m not asking for it!” she says, unconsciously. “I’m not some drunken slutty girl! I’m ugly, so leave me alone!”

 

[Crybaby Xianghua]

Good god, I've been reading this whole forum post, and good lord, Third Wave Feminists are actually the biggest closeted misogynists in existence.

These femibullies encourage women to eat themselves into immobility, and to do other forms of self harm, like cutting and burning yourself. Instead of, you know, teaching women to fight back and stand up for themselves and the people they love. Yet these same fembullies cry about a lack of obese female characters going on adventures in their mobility scooters? Yet, do nothing to help real women and girls to encourage them to act like human beings with a functioning brain.

I weep over the state of modern day feminism. It's almost like they care more about fictional women being artificial mother figures to little girls, instead of caring about real women, and how they can be happy, healthy, and sane.

Good god, the fat pride femibullies need to rot in the deepest pit of hell for their double standards and closeted misogyny in denial. Tsk Tsk.