Worst lyrics of all time - For the music fans who would rather have a piece of toast than see a ghost

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Eurobeat has some terrible lyrics, it's made by Italians for Japanese to dance to and everyone's off their face on pills, so the English lyrics are usually pretty generic, but sometimes they're wonderfully bad or nonsensical.

"Me and you
The bambi girlie, the wild dude
Shockin' who
Seem to be livin' on cat food
Gotta let it go
And move on with the flow
The music magic wizard of our soul"
- ACE, Crazy On Emotion

"I didn't wanna need you so
I did not wanna need you"
- Stephy Martini, Mad Desire

And of course power metal, which is basically the same thing but with guitars.

"Day after day as I bodies slay"
- Dragonforce, Black Winter Night

ETA: "Not a danger, not a blacky stranger"
- Niko, Night Of Fire
I'm not sure wtf they mean by that, it sounds like he's trying to take women home by saying "don't worry, I'm safe, I'm not a black man".
 
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"She looks so perfect standing there,
In my American Apparel underwear!"
- 5 Seconds of Summer, She Looks So Perfect

"Got so many chains, they callin' me Chaining Tatum."
- Drake, Pop Style

"I'M SERIOUS AS CANCER WHEN I SAY RHYTHM IS A DANCER."
- Snap!, Rhythm is a Dancer (Song is pretty good otherwise)

"Is that your ass, or your mama half reindeer?"
- Nelly, Shake Ya Tailfeather

"I'm sorry, but the old Taylor can't come to the phone right now.
Why? Oh! 'Cause she's dead!"
- Taylor Swift, Look What You Made Me Do

"Yeah you got that yummy, yum." (repeat a few times)
- Justin Bieber, Yummy
 
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“There’s vomit on his sweater already, mom’s spaghetti”
from Lose Yourself by Eminem

Entire songs:
Watch Me Whip/Nae Nae by Silento
It’s a Vibe by 2 Chainz
I’m in Love with the Coco by O.T. Genasis (sic)
Sonic Heroes, I Am...All of Me, and All Hail Shadow by Crush 40/Magna-Fi (first 2 written by Johnny Gioeli, last one written by Jun Senoue and Mike Szuter)

Edit: the theme songs for Fanboy and Chum Chum, Planet Sheen, Breadwinners, and Annoying Orange
 
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That Lil Wayne verse that has the line "Real Gs move in silence like Lasagna". I don't know if its genius or retarded.

Grand_Ole_Ostritch said:
"I'm so 2008, you so 2000-late."- Some stupid fucking Black Eyed Peas Song
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The lyric is actually
I'm so three thousand and eight
You so two thousand and late

And its from Boom Boom Pow. This song topped the Hot 100 for 14 weeks. I'm not joking.
 
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Yuuichirou Kumada said:
The entirety of LFO's "Summer Girls". I'm surprised no one mentioned it in this thread so far.
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Yes, that song was an abomination. Rich Cronin, the guy who wrote it, was absolutely fucking hilarious and a great storyteller in real life though. If you've never listened to his interview on Howard Stern you really should:

RIP:(

More shitty lyrics (these are from "Magic Moments" by Perry Como)
The way that we cheered whenever our team was scoring a touchdown
The time that the floor fell out of my car when I put the clutch down
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Opening lines of "Islands in the Stream" by Kenny Rogers (ft. Dolly Parton)
Baby, when I met you there was peace unknown
I set out to get you with a fine tooth comb
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I just remembed this one from Shaq's first rap album (yes, first).

I get dirty after dark
I'll treat you like Spielberg, you'll get your ass kicked in in a park
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Its a play on words. Cause "Ass kicked" sounds like Jurassic. That first album is almost lil b esque. Where the beats are pretty damn good and Shaq does some with some heartfelt lyrics at times. But his verses are wack a lot of the time.

Actually, that song has so many bad rhymes.

People call me E.T. (What's that, Shaq man?), Extra-Tallem's
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Than I'll punch you in the stomach, I don't give a heck
(Hey yo, why you booger hook like that?) Yo, she breath on my neck!
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Mic-checka, the rim and rhyme wrecka, rocks from here to Mecca
(Boom!) Boom shack-a-lack-a-lack-a
I got a hand that'll rock ya cradle
Cream you like cheese, spread you on my bagel
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(Yeah, but what about rhymin'?) I can hold my own
Knick-knack, Shaq-attack, give a dog a bone
Rhymin is like hoopin', I'm already a legend
Back in the days in the food stamp section
Used to kick rhymes like, "Baby, baby, baby!"
"Every once, every twice, three times a lady"
Is what I listened to, ridin' with my moms
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Chris Tomlin is a bit fucked up, I think. He's the basis for the trope "I just wanna get on on my knees and please you, Jesus."

"Oh, I've heard a thousand stories of what they think You're like
But I've heard the tender whisper of love in the dead of night
And You tell me that You're pleased and that I'm never alone

You're a good, good Father
It's who You are,..
And I'm loved by You
It's who I am...

Oh, and I've seen many searching for answers far and wide
But I know we're all searching for answers only You provide
'Cause You know just what we need before we say a word

You're a good, good Father...

Oh, it's love so undeniable I
I can hardly speak
Peace so unexplainable I
I can hardly think
As You call me deeper still... Into love, love, love.
 
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Any Man with a mission song.

Here is an excerpt from their best known hit:
-
Counteraction rising
Yeah we are ready for the punch line
There's no use with all your gimmicks
So check this out!

Login you damned one's
Crush the won't you compromise
The noise comes we are ready to bow
What about the antidote for the jammed and hypnotized
Rend the lie that covers
Who's the real sucker now

Database, database
Just living in the Database Wow Wow
The wall of pure fiction's cracking in my head
And the addiction of my world still spreads

In the database, database
I'm struggling in the database Wow Wow
It doesn't even matter if there is no hope
As the madness of the system grows
-
They are also furries, often pair up with rappers and barely speak english.
 
Thirty some-odd years late, but I would just like to nominate the entire 10,000 Maniacs catalogue, which is a proto-blueprint for the current SJW movement. That alone might not warrant nomination, but Natalie Merchant was also so clumsy in penning her wordy platitudes that even their decent songs sound ponderous and clumsy, despite a decent band behind her.

I can't pick one worst offender (is it the clumsily titled "Hateful Hate"? The one about Indians or the Spanish American war or whatever that is centered around the inspiring chorus of "Please forgive us"? The one where Merchant says she won't listen to "common sense/firm arguments"? The one where she is shocked to see homeless people in Los Angeles? The one about picking cotton?)

Recommended to women who won't shave their armpits for political reasons.
 
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Almost every song Rob Halford wrote for Judas Priest, but especially the lyrics to Turbo Lover:

You won't hear me,
But you'll feel me
Without warning, somethings dawning, listen.
Then within your senses,
You'll know you're defenseless
How your heart beats, when you run for cover
Your cant retreat I spy like no other.
Then we race together.
We can ride forever
Wrapped in horsepower, driving into fury
Changing gear I pull you tighter to me
I'm your turbo lover
Tell me there's no other
I'm your turbo lover
Better run for cover
We hold each other closer, as we shift to overdrive
And everything goes rushing by, with every nerve alive
We move so fast it seems as though we've taken to the sky
Love machines in harmony, we hear the engines cry.
I'm your turbo lover
Tell me there's no other
I'm your turbo lover
Better run for cover
On and on we're charging to the place so many seek
In perfect synchronicity of which so many speak
We feel so close to heaven in this roaring heavy load
And then in sheer abandonment, we shatter and explode.
I'm your turbo lover
Tell me there's no other
I'm your turbo lover
Better run for cover
I'm your turbo lover
Tell me there's no other
I'm your turbo lover
Better run for cover
 
Dafuqisdis? said:
The cupboard is empty
We really need food
Summer is winter
And you always knew
-Bush, Little Things

really you could quote any Bush song for this thread
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Everything Zen takes the cake for being straight retarded lyrics-wise but at least the song is good. “Mickey Mouse has grown up a Cow” is the cherry on top.
I won’t lie, “there’s no sex in your violence” is still the best Bush line ever written.
 
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