Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Brittnay Matthews]

Nick is no longer a mediocre cis male, he's a non binary danger hair. Who's going to take the blame for Tess' problems now that her ex is special.
She's going to look bad for downgrading to a regular man after taking the piss on a nb person.

 

[George Floyd Sneed]

Also Tess isn’t the type to just hire a mediator either. Her ego and her image requires a big show where she tries to drag her cartoonishly abusive ex through the mud so she can shore up her victim cred. She can’t talk about how evil he is and then have an amicable divorce, even if both of them are as broke as a joke. She’s going to want to hire a lawyer who will indulge her narcissistic personality. And a publicist too who will send out press releases and try to score some interviews with the media about how a fat and queer mom is just so victimized y’all!

 

[tasty humane burger]

Don't know why Tess doesn't bring up her ex being an enbie more often to validate her queerness. It would make a lot more sense than her just yelling "I'M SO QWEER" whilst dating nothing but boring cis white men.

Probably some major shooping going on but Nick looks like he's lost some weight. Also I do not hate his outfit, its totally performative ofc so he can attract vulnerable LGBT young people into dating him but it fits and its a cute outfit. Being away from Tess does wonders for people.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Look at that, Nick has lost some weight.

Nick could easily turn this into a "My ex never understood how bad it hurt for me! I couldn't express myself, she wanted me to be a MAN when CLEARLY I am not!"

 

[Brittnay Matthews]

Don't know why Tess doesn't bring up her ex being an enbie more often to validate her queerness. It would make a lot more sense than her just yelling "I'M SO QWEER" whilst dating nothing but boring cis white men.

She does, only when she needs to save face. It's very convenient.

 

[lamp shade]

She does, only when she needs to save face. It's very convenient.
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God, Olly is more annoying than Tess these days. She’s like a tiny yappy dog who pays rent by popping off on Twitter. Poor Bowie doesn’t stand a chance with adults like this in his life.

 

[taintmisbehavin]

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Nick is no longer a mediocre cis male, he's a non binary danger hair. Who's going to take the blame for Tess' problems now that her ex is special.
She's going to look bad for downgrading to a regular man after taking the piss on a nb person.

Why do anything as mundane as care for your child when you can cosplay as a teenage thot who watches too much American Horror Story?

 

[Constellationzero]

It'd be cool if someone found her online dating profile and posted it here. I'd love to see what her catfishing photos look like, though I imagine it wouldnt be anything we've never seen before. I'd also love to see her undoubtedly long list of dealbreakers.

People exactly like Tess and Olly actually ARE the kinds with a grocery list of dealbreakers. I have also learned (from women exactly like this) that:

Tess/Olly: Saaarrrrreeeee! No men under (insert height here/over insert weight here)! No trad girlzz (KA-WEER GRRLZ ONLY!)

Me and other normal people: I prefer a butch woman. No tattoos, please. Not even a small one. Also no ear gages. No non traditional piercing sites. Earrings are okay, but I prefer no gages, noserings, lip piercings, etc. This is my preference and I would like a clean cut, professional sort I would be proud to take to my family's house, thank you for understanding.

Tess/Olly: REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TL;DR: Tess and Olly can have a looooong list of dealbreakers. Shaddup, they're preferences, asshole Trump supporter!
But tattoos are...somehow a race...apparently. And wanting to date a nice, clean cut woman who doesn't scribble on herself is tantamount to screeching N I G G E R in a crowded theater.

 

[FinnaBinna]

She does, only when she needs to save face. It's very convenient.
.

hahaha... is this Ho Tess serious? Also in the replies, Amber Rachdi who is an ex-600 pound life cast member is defending the Tess about her sexuality you guys and that you can't force a person to really explain it! She's Tess's hero now. I see Olly is now following Amber. I used to follow Amber because she would post cute pics after her weight loss and what not but, she ended up being so crass and annoying that I stopped.
Tess is just so dumb that her cringe level is off the planet all the way to pluto. So is Olly. She hates cops but, has the C in ACAB on her leg. Get that she HATES cops but, she has what stands for Cops on her body. What a bafoon.
Tess has been screaming that she's fake gay for how many years now and then the one time she's actually going to date someone it seems post nickster it's a NORMIE GUY. Or it's a guy that's bi or pan or a smurf or whatever is cool right now? She's a walking condtriDICKion!!!! She loves the D and there aint nothing wrong with that but, she makes it seem like there is because shes's just so gay.

 

[Gay Mouth]

She does, only when she needs to save face. It's very convenient.
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Brutal having a gay enbie gold digger husband makes you gay now, the ugly lesbian bunking with her child says so

 

[SnarkySperg]

but.. Tom Brady isn't using "quarterback" as his pronouns so... this doesn't even make logical sense. It's tess though, so that tracks
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What....how does ANYONE jump to this? I'd seen this floating around before now but for the life of me I had no idea what it meant. Thanks for explaining.

I love how their implication is that we're retarded when they just compared science denial to...playing football, or something.

Also, 17K likes. Just thought I'd point that out.

She does, only when she needs to save face. It's very convenient.
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Oh shit, that was a good snipe at her. Person probably is blocked now though.

Also, fuck off Tess. She's spent the entire time she's been single bragging about being single, and I think she's even said before that she was taking time to herself for a little while. Her constant use of plausible deniability and basic bitch 'ur dum lol' is getting ridiculous. I don't think Tess knows what the truth is anymore so she does shit like this because she knows her stans will back her up if someone calls her out and she can spam the clown emoji before blocking them.

This is basically her logic:
'I went to the moon!'
'No you didn't, nobody's been to the moon since 1972,
'Well youuuuu don't know what NASA hasn't told you so you can't PROVE I haven't been to the moon!'
'There is literally no way you could have gone without anyone knowing.'
'Fuck you lol'

 

[Easy Peasy]

Good for nicky, losing some weight. He looks stupid as shit in that outfit, but grats on the weight loss. I bet two ton is seething. The only toxic person in that relationship was her I'm guessing

 

[SnarkySperg]

Good for nicky, losing some weight. He looks stupid as shit in that outfit, but grats on the weight loss. I bet two ton is seething. The only toxic person in that relationship was her I'm guessing

IDK if he was toxic but he isn't much better than she is. He fucked off to a different continent and left his son with his abusive ex. While he isn't the one being abusive, he isn't much better for standing aside and letting it happen.

I think he cares for Bowie and probably even Rylee, likely more than Tess does at least, but he's a fucking deadbeat who can't/doesn't want to prioritize seeing the son he hasn't seen in person in over a year.

 

[FuckDuckSeagull]

Tess is also too much of a narch to let either of the boys of her clutches and Nick is too much of a pussy to actually fight for those kids. So they're stuck with Queen of Yeast

 

[multiverse]

Ryann Brady is a gigantic blob. Buy her old clothes, guys! Sitting on cakes isn't going to pay all the bills, apparently!



Edit: lol she's not selling anything, and she hasn't added anything new in months... with the exception of the 4x non-spandex Flabletics items she was sent and couldn't get in to. Covered in cat hair now; full price!

 

[AprilRains]

Wait, she's in Thousand Oaks now? What did I miss?

 

[multiverse]

Wait, she's in Thousand Oaks now? What did I miss?

No clue why she has Thousand Oaks as her location. She's still in Long Beach.

Maybe she has a new intern? Or Jolene moved there from Costa Mesa?

 

[Brittnay Matthews]

What is that Tess? A cis person can't be worse than your nb ex??!! *Gasp* were you just being transphobic? ... Or nb-phobic? Whatever people use for that.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

It's totally OK because he is white.

 

[SnarkySperg]

Why is she at the DMV? She was just there like a month ago.

Also, imagine being a 35yo mother and thinking this is an appropriate thing to post.

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What is that Tess? A cis person can't be worse than your nb ex??!! *Gasp* were you just being transphobic? ... Or nb-phobic? Whatever people use for that.

Bruh, why can't she just not say anything? Why does she have to be so obnoxious all the time?

She is borderline as fuck. Goes from 'he's the best thing to happen to me, he's so wonderful and we have the best relationship' to 'gah, fuck this man. He's so bad I'm going to make sure everyone knows it'. I'm sure that some of it was exaggerated from both ends, but there was definitely splitting going on here.

God I hope one of them spills tea son.