Star Wars Griefing Thread (SPOILERS) - Safety off

I'm only excited for its failure. just to see how badly this project will flop and fuck up the lore. It's not like I view this shit as the true Star Wars story.
I don't even have that anymore tbh.

I'm basically apathetic to this franchise now. Can't even get mad at it beyond just watching Disney put minimal effort and buying their own audience to commit a Weekend at Bernie's with this IP each few weeks before a financial quarter.
 
Visionary Chancellor Lina Soh leads the Republic from the elegant city-world of Coruscant, located near the bright center of the Galactic Core.
Stronk womxn leader is stronk.
The Outer Rim is a haven for anyone seeking to escape the laws of the Republic, and is filled with predators of every type.
Those who will not obey the Republic are basically animals.
Chancellor Soh has pledged to bring the Outer Rim worlds into the embrace of the Republic through ambitious outreach programs such as the Starlight Beacon.
"We love peace, which is why we're going to build a space fortress right on the edge of your territory."
IRL wars have started over shit like this.
The Jedi work closely with the Republic, and have agreed to establish outposts in the Outer Rim to help any who might require aid.
So the Jedi are now the Republic CIA, aiding the 'good insurgents' against their 'oppressive' governments.
Though the outposts operate independently and without direct assistance from the great Jedi Temple on Coruscant, they act as an effective deterrent to those who would do evil in the dark.
Citizens of a foreign government, shitting on local authorities and institutions, with a wink and nod from the Republic and the Jedi.

Smells an awful lot like spook shit to me.
Few can stand against the Knights of the Jedi Order.
Um, what happened to the Republic not dealing in coercion or fear? Pretty sure a stronk, independent girl Jedi threatening to poke you with a lightsaber qualifies as 'coercion.'
 
That's an excellent point. Boba Fett has always been an extremely popular character, but he's also had, for the longest time, an extremely vocal set of detractors, with his escape from the Sarlaac and consequent post-ROTJ exploits being a source of great rage and derision from the same (and beyond the hardcore haters, mocking the character was pretty much a cliche of online nerd culture for decades). In the wake of Fett's appearance in The Mandalorian, however, it seems like things largely flipped from "Boba Fett survived the Sarlaac, so stupid," to "Boba Fett survived the Sarlaac, so awesome!" practically overnight, with the change coming, so far as I can tell, directly and solely from the character appearing in live-action again. It's a pretty sad commentary on our culture when you think about it. You can pen a well-written story about a man waging a battle of wills against a telepathic and malignant hivemind of Lovecraftian proportions, while fighting to escape from the guts of the same creature, and people will brush it off as fanboy nonsense, but have the same man appear, without explanation, and effortlessly gun down whole squads of armed soldiers on your TV screen and suddenly it's the best thing ever. 🤔
Really? Last I checked, people were pissed off with Fett getting offed like a punk just as they were with Maul. The fans wanted him back, and most EU fans were OK with him being back, just as many Maul fans who felt that he "got shafted" in TPM liked it when he came back in TCW. But basically, both characters coming back was just riding on "rule of cool" and nothing more. They would have stayed dead if they weren't popular.

Stronk womxn leader is stronk.

Those who will not obey the Republic are basically animals.

"We love peace, which is why we're going to build a space fortress right on the edge of your territory."
IRL wars have started over shit like this.

So the Jedi are now the Republic CIA, aiding the 'good insurgents' against their 'oppressive' governments.

Citizens of a foreign government, shitting on local authorities and institutions, with a wink and nod from the Republic and the Jedi.

Smells an awful lot like spook shit to me.

Um, what happened to the Republic not dealing in coercion or fear? Pretty sure a stronk, independent girl Jedi threatening to poke you with a lightsaber qualifies as 'coercion.'
Basically, the High Republic version of the Galactic Republic is just the Empire but with more feminism and less bad-assery.

"sneak in"? the whole first paragraph is retarded pozz

>it is the time of the High Republic: a peaceful union of like-minded worlds
like minded? no shit, people that don't like each other much or are too extreme usually don't form a union or battle each other. still doesn't mean there's no conflict ever anywhere. it's not called "star peace" for a reason.

>where all voices are heard,
what does that even mean? all voices in the union? coruscant? the galaxy? ffs I've seen young teen media aimed at girls involved horses and farms and shit that were more realistic and less retarded.
first sentence and I'm already pissed.

>and governance is achieved through consensus, not coercion or fear.
so, a democracy? a benevolent monarchy? fucking what you twats? "governance" means fuck all! either explain it properly or not at all.

>It is an era of ambition, of culture, of inclusion, of Great Works.
that shit reads like stacy's high-school essay about the weimar republic. and wait a minute, isn't that shit set 200 years before the OT, and the decline was like 1000 years slow which is why shit happened the way it did in the first place? how can you be at the apex merely 200 years where there still enough species around to remember that shit?

>Visionary Chancellor Lina Soh leads the Republic from the elegant city-world of Coruscant, located near the bright center of the Galactic Core.
elegant? oh fuck off.
Isn't inclusion one of the Republic's weaknesses back in TPM? They're so inclusive to the point that the government gets drowned by so many voices calling for one thing or another, and the red tape just becomes unbearable. As bad as the Empire is by being exclusionary and listening to only one voice, even at its worst, it wasn't as bad as the Old Republic in TPM where people can declare war on each other and break Republic anti-slavery laws without Coruscant being able to respond.
 
Fett at least had a interesting story attached to him surviving the Sarlaac, and the effects on his body from it followed him the rest of the EU.

Maul just shows up as half Maul half Robocop, no explanation.
Honestly, the fact he was eaten and in armor that could maybe resist the crushing force or acids made him surviving come off as more plausible to me than getting cut in half and falling down a big hole like Maul did. Then again, this may be because I'm also a Tremors fan and Burt from that series survived something pretty similar to that with the same reasons I listed in 3.
 
Maul just shows up as half Maul half Robocop, no explanation.
The robotic legs came later, he’s this weird spider thing for his first appearance in TCW.
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Fett at least had a interesting story attached to him surviving the Sarlaac, and the effects on his body from it followed him the rest of the EU.

Maul just shows up as half Maul half Robocop, no explanation.
They're both just fanservice. When Maul came back, he had crippling anger and anexiety issues caused by his defeat at the hands of Obi-Wan Kenobi, which drove his revenge plot against Kenobi and culminated in him killing Kenobi's girlfriend while he was forced to watch, while at the same time building a power base of his own. Which, to be honest, is far better than anything they did with Boba Fett in both the old and new canons, post-ROTJ. All Fett did in the old canon was be the same bounty hunter scumbag that he was before Vader and the Emperor kicked the bucket, and all he did as Mandalore was have his people serve as hired guns. And in the new canon, all he did was just kill people left and right after swearing an oath to the guy who took his armor, and then once released from that oath, he left to take over his former boss' criminal empire.

But again, they would both have remained dead if the fans didn't scream about how they were wasted in the films.
 
So I just finished Star Wars Visionaries a little bit ago.

Old Wounds was ok, but one thing that kind of bugged me is that it apparently takes place three years after ROTS, Luke is a toddler, but it looks like Owen and Obi-Wan have aged 15-20 years. I know stress is a thing, but it was striking and distracting. Beru looks basically like she did in ROTS though.

Overall, I feel Entrenched was the best of the short stories in Visionaries though. That twist at the very end was like a gut punch and I felt perfectly wrapped up the short.

Now I'm going to dig into Knights of the Old Republic.
 
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I mean even if we give him the benefit of the Darth Sion doubt, how did he get back up from that shaft? He was clearly falling down the middle of it, in two halves mind you. He has to get over his shock of a padawan ruining his shit, come to the realization that his body is now in several locations at once, realize he is in absolute free fall, then gather enough focus past what must be searing fucking pain of having the trapped heat of a sun slice through your body and to not panic while in said free fall. After all that, he now has to arrest said free fall. He doesn't have his saber, and it probably fell further than he did at this point. Yes, I know I am completely over analyzing and rationalizing it but even in the realms of sci fi bullshit, Maul's return is just not plausible. I don't think Lucas ever meant for him to be more than a throwaway villain for the first prequel movie and a toy marketing device.

Okay, I'm not rewatching any of that shit, so tell me...Was it ever clearly, explicitly stated that Maul's vital organs are all in the top half of his body, or something? I remember talk about him surviving by sheer hatred, and I remember the space witch magic, but I don't believe there was any attempt at making it, well, biologically believable? I'm being super-pedantic, but it's always bugged me...that part to me, on top of all the other good reasons mentioned here, made it completely implausible.
 
Okay, I'm not rewatching any of that shit, so tell me...Was it ever clearly, explicitly stated that Maul's vital organs are all in the top half of his body, or something? I remember talk about him surviving by sheer hatred, and I remember the space witch magic, but I don't believe there was any attempt at making it, well, biologically believable? I'm being super-pedantic, but it's always bugged me...that part to me, on top of all the other good reasons mentioned here, made it completely implausible.
I have no idea if any official source has ever gone over Zabrak anatomy so I just assume all of Maul's organs are where a humans would be or approximately. Maul was very clearly bisected above his navel so I have no idea how he would survive without kidneys, pancreas, a bladder, intestines, etc. Old Wounds didn't showcase his colostomy bag.
 
I have no idea if any official source has ever gone over Zabrak anatomy so I just assume all of Maul's organs are where a humans would be or approximately. Maul was very clearly bisected above his navel so I have no idea how he would survive without kidneys, pancreas, a bladder, intestines, etc.

That's my thinking, too. I feel like humanoid alien anatomy is, more or less, going to be close to ours, just as a frame of reference for the viewer if for no other reason. I mean, it doesn't necessarily have to always be that way, but science fiction usually points it out to us pretty quickly if it's not (like how The Doctor has two hearts and they are constantly telling the viewer about that fact), otherwise, why bother.

I can't think of very many fictional humanoid characters you could just cut in half that way, and not explain how they would be able to survive, and then be surprised when people question it....I mean, there's Gumby, but hell, he's not even live action, so that doesn't count.
 
I just started playing Fallen Order.

I've only played the introductory part of the game and its so far so good. Hopefully I like the rest.
For NuWars, it's not bad. Cal is probably the only likeable Disney protagonist and the game/story itself doesn't go out of its way to shit on Star Wars. It's very linear, feeling like an N64 game with modern graphics and controls. Ultimately I did like Fallen Order but the bar is so low....
 
Fett at least had a interesting story attached to him surviving the Sarlaac, and the effects on his body from it followed him the rest of the EU.

Maul just shows up as half Maul half Robocop, no explanation.

What about that weird creature that was there with him? I remember there being some weird creature in the Filoni wars episode that supposedly put him back together. I always thought it was one of those the less you know the how's and why's the better.

Same with the Sarlaac and Fett. Finding him lying near dead in the sand like in the EU is all I wanted or needed. From there you could even go it didn't last more than minutes before he fired his way out. That and we didn't watch its acid literally eat through people like in Mando...

Now I wanna go through Bounty Hunter wars again. Too bad the audiobook is abridged and I don't have time to leisure read the novels.
 
What about that weird creature that was there with him? I remember there being some weird creature in the Filoni wars episode that supposedly put him back together. I always thought it was one of those the less you know the how's and why's the better.

Same with the Sarlaac and Fett. Finding him lying near dead in the sand like in the EU is all I wanted or needed. From there you could even go it didn't last more than minutes before he fired his way out. That and we didn't watch its acid literally eat through people like in Mando...

Now I wanna go through Bounty Hunter wars again. Too bad the audiobook is abridged and I don't have time to leisure read the novels.
I have no idea what weird creature you're referring to. I've never watched Clone Wars.

As for the Sarlaac and Fett, that tale was told in 1996's Tales from Jabbas Palace. The short story was called A Barve Like That, and it did carry over into NJO, LotF, etc. when it came time to show Fett older and the various injuries of his long career adding up. IIRC his leg was completely prosthetic in LotF because of the Sarlaac and he also had lasting mental trauma from it as well.
 
The robotic legs came later, he’s this weird spider thing for his first appearance in TCW.
View attachment 1888464
Weird thing is those aren't even robotic, its just some garbage he taped together and moved around with the Force. Which again feels like something that's too complex and spiritually advanced for someone like Maul, with telekinesis like that feeling like something more suited to an artistically minded Force user, but whatever. Would've made more sense if it was an actual machine he made for himself since he was tech savvy.

I have no idea if any official source has ever gone over Zabrak anatomy so I just assume all of Maul's organs are where a humans would be or approximately. Maul was very clearly bisected above his navel so I have no idea how he would survive without kidneys, pancreas, a bladder, intestines, etc. Old Wounds didn't showcase his colostomy bag.
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As far as I know in regards to loretism, Zabraks were related to humans, apparently having been artificially bred from them by the Rakata for whatever reasons. Zabraks were basically like humans internally but had two hearts and a dulled sense of pain. I'm guessing having two hearts and a resistance to pain would make them more effective and hardier slave cattle or gladiators for the entertainment of the Rakata. If its the second, it would explain the horns.
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As for Maul's lack of necessary organs, it would've made more sense if he were a Force zombie like Sion then, who was effectively undead, or a cyborg like Vader. But Maul is shown to be very much alive and keeping his body going to the point where he's still growing horns and nails while still needing to eat. Some like to tell me the spider half is what's keeping him alive through "advanced tech", but that's just a pile crap he put together. I'm not even sure why they didn't let Maul build an actual robotic half for himself. The guy was shown to be skilled in tech and even constructed weapons, gadgets and droids to suit his ends. So they could've had it so that maybe he was keeping himself alive long enough in Naboo that he found his way into a droid depot or something and redesigned one of them to offer a life support system. But afaik, Disney lore just has him falling into acidic piss while his legs burn up and he gets dumped on the garbage planet and that's that.
 
I have no idea what weird creature you're referring to. I've never watched Clone Wars.
I'm not going looking at this point.
As for the Sarlaac and Fett, that tale was told in 1996's Tales from Jabbas Palace. The short story was called A Barve Like That, and it did carry over into NJO, LotF, etc. when it came time to show Fett older and the various injuries of his long career adding up. IIRC his leg was completely prosthetic in LotF because of the Sarlaac and he also had lasting mental trauma from it as well.

The Bounty Hunter Wars Trilogy by KW Jeters takes place directly after the barge. It details how Fett survived. He was discovered in the sand, near death by Neelah, a dancer from Jabba's palace. She nursed him back to health.
 
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