Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

[Angry New Ager]

She is hosting a virtual party to shill #spon products. Only herself and Olly are there in person.

And I spy, with my little eye, an full dozen doughnuts, a bowl of candy, and more food items in a cornucopia to the right. A party snack for two people, one of whom is vegan.

Guess who gets to eat 12 doughnuts, bowls of candy, and whatever else is off to the side because she's a bit peckish?

Lord Beetus is always happy to be Tess's Valentine's date.

 

[multiverse]

Ok, I went back to see if there was a shot where more of the table was visible. There are: 4 bowls of candy, the aforementioned 12 doughnuts, and somewhere between 16 and 20 mini cupcakes (14 are visible) for "snacks" during her shill event for some crappy lotions. There is also a split of champagne.


Olly, being vegan, can only eat the candies (so long as they have no animal products, so any chocolates are out). And Olly clearly adores being anorexic - see any of her many body checks - so I doubt she had anything besides one glass of champagne.

Calorie count for this "snack":

Doughnuts 3,600 (300 * 12)
Mini cupcakes 5,040 (280 * 18 )
Hard candies 288 (12 * 24)
Chocolate candies 840 (70 * 12)
Champagne 95 (one glass)

Total "galentines" snack calories:
9,860

 

[TurdFondler]

That's a snack table for like, 6 people. Even then you'd probably have some left over. Who the fuck eats multiple donuts and cupcakes in one sitting?

Don't stereotype fat people, though, it gives them anxiety when they pig out in public.

 

[Fìddlesticks]

Olly being vegan is just to cover up her eating disorder.

Thank you @multiverse for the cal count and pic of the table and fellow kiwis for the v day special.

So just to absolutely clear up any doubt - this mawn on valentines day spent it with online best friends and some gender queer using her as a crash pad and NOT the 2 kids she supposedly loves so much. Not one pic or insta post.

Luckily my heart is mostly dead. Rylee we are all rooting for ya - keep up those good grades and make something of yourself. There are good things to look forward too. Only a few more years now.

 

[JambledUpWords]

Isn’t she always though? She’s obsessed with herself.

 

[Pollybock]

I can’t even tell anymore if she loves herself or hates herself. Or just bounces back and forth between the two

 

[RainbowStarlight]

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Isn’t she always though? She’s obsessed with herself.

I'm dying to see this completely unedited.

 

[yousoundlikeanasshole]

 

[Local Fed]

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Isn’t she always though? She’s obsessed with herself.

Is it just me or is her face slowly turning into an obese, female version of Ben Shapiro?

 

[Fìddlesticks]

It is time for what the fuck is this? A Haram content special for the day.

Spoiler: Arm nipple

Spoiler: Her other arm now has jowls

the lower arm section is just ? - is this fat from her upper arm drooping in the back or? also dunno who this person is - assume Ru Paul? But dang their face looking like it is melting ice cream from the fat distortion

Spoiler: Lace or stretch marks?

until I looked i thought the lace on the panties was a continuation of her stretch marks from her stomach

those nips and tits are the meme of "if only you knew how bad things are"

Spoiler: Just what?

so many folds... check the diabetes discolouration on her trotters too. Coming along nicely with her feet.

Jowls come and go but the blur and soften tool is forever. The amount of lines here is like looking at a map of a delta of rivers!

Edit - add more Haram.

 

[DelicateMageflower]

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"Supermodel moment?"

Let's see...Cindy Crawford, Linda Evangelista, Naomi Campbell, Christy Turlington...and Tess Holliday.

Yep, makes perfect sense. Tess wishes she could say she didn't get out of bed for less than 10 grand a day.

 

[GrouchiCorn]

Each of her pictures looks more and more like she's trying out for RuPaul's Drag Race

 

[FinnaBinna]

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Whoever she hires to do her shop does a hell of a job. I think tho they couldn’t shop away the double chin in this one which is kinda funny. It’s like I know her body has been slimmed but her head looks like a cartoon drawing on a real-ish body. The pose is weird. It’s like she has one giant pirate leg. She always hides one leg in a weird way to give her a slimmer illusion. Because we really have this:

 

[Voivode]

She’s obviously getting cheaper fillers too, it might just be the lighting but those lips are looking pretty uneven.

 

[multiverse]

I would like to point out: she had to pay for the whole shoot, and no lingerie company was willing to even so much as send free merchandise.

So supermodel!

 

[Cheesegirl78]

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Her face and hair in the top photo look lovely. The makeup artist and hairstylist did a great job.

The rest, not so much.

 

[AbraCadaver]

When even photoshop has given up.

I know it's been said before but it doesn't make any sense that she replaces the o in Holliday with cherries. Her name's not Hoolliday. Why not just use one cherry? Or like a strawberry or some shit?


I'd assume she either makes someone else do it for her or just wears slip-on shoes.

Cherries are OMG SO ROCKABILLY RETRO AND THEY LOOK LIKE BEWBS LOL. So of course she uses them.

 

[Fliddaroonie]

Oh she hates herself. No two ways about it. Nobody who loves and respects themselves does that to her body.

If she loved herself she wouldn't photoshop her photos either.

 

[Trombonista]

Since you can see her nipples, do you think that IG post will be taken down?

 

[Pollybock]

Eh, her body is such a blurry blob of WTF IS THAT that I don’t think algorithms know her nipple from anything else