DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Wurstbrot]

You can't control your body language when lying. Nonverbal cues give it away. If Khet is gone or they barely see each other, that's going to come out in his nonverbal communication no matter who many times he talks about "muh wife" and "muh family". Body language 101.

Theory: He's lying in one aspect of his explanation of why he can't go overtime when mommy Khet is at home. I'd say she isn't very pleased when he yells like a lunatic and begs through closed doors. You know, he isn't ashamed to lie and faint danger to anonymous strangers who can't fight back. But Khet of the same household knows better than them and can actually ask WTF he's doing. Keeping secrets to certain people to fake excellency isn't unusual for him or narcissists

But it's just a theory.
A Theo-theory.

 

[Brother Wind]

He'd get killed by Bessie the sick cow in Candlekeep.

Flexing my Baldurs Gate Autism for you. Also, lets not act like he couldn't figure that out

 

[marlintan]

You just know that there's an alternate universe where Phil is a guntuber who spends 50% of all his videos just waiting at his turn at the shooting range and bloviating about stuff that doesn't matter. Also his one crowning achievement is fourth place at a marksmanship competition with a 1911 that most of the shooters boycotted because they had to use some garbage 1911 clone made in Mexico or whatever and all the guys who were in the top 3 spots are JSDF members.

More like an alternate universe where he's 4th place in ICORE/IDPA or USPSA limited, when all the high speed low drag guys are in open division. That way he could flex on casuals.

A game I’ve been excited for came out earlier this week and while bored at work I decided to look up some streamers playing the early hours of it, and it’s crazy how none of them ever mentioned money once...it’s so jarring to see relatively normal people after watching DSP beg and whine so much.

I also like how his current financial bump is the fact that his tax guy wants to get payed up front, his tax guy must be an idiot, doesn’t he see how much he can milk DSP for on years of making the minimal payments

Any astute accountant will see the recent bankruptcy and decide if gives this fuck an inch, he'll take a mile and be over 90 days past due on his first payment, so it behooves the guy to say pay in full up front.

 

[Piece of Peace]

Theory: He's lying in one aspect of his explanation of why he can't go overtime when mommy Khet is at home. I'd say she isn't very pleased when he yells like a lunatic and begs through closed doors. You know, he isn't ashamed to lie and faint danger to anonymous strangers who can't fight back. But Khet of the same household knows better than them and can actually ask WTF he's doing. Keeping secrets to certain people to fake excellency isn't unusual for him or narcissists

But it's just a theory.
A Theo-theory.

I mean, that's operating on the assumption that she expects her fat, disgusting pig of a husband to have even one shred of human decency right?

Edit: also, one of the unwritten roles of a wife is to slap the shit out of their husband whenever they get out of line (e.g. when they start to devolve into a clown-ass bitch). I guess that again assumes that either of them had any dignity to begin with.

 

[Forbidden Math]

He'd get killed by the hobo who attacks you in the Priest's Quarter in Candlekeep.

"Dood why can't my sword-wielding mage hit anything in this game! I put 4 points into strength!"
"I die instantly! Ack ack ack ack! That's stupid! Why do I only have 4 HP? Dude in real life mages aren't this weak!"

Edit: forgot the "ironic" "this game sucks" acks.

 

[GunnlaugurSassoon]

Unemployed Kat arc soon...

View attachment 1949520

"now imagine you've been working a night shift for 2+ years and have to adjust your entire life schedule to be working mornings. not easy"

I can't tell if this is DSP trying to pretend Kat is busier than she is, him being the King of Suffering, or he's been so coddled he genuinely believes that. I put myself through my first two years of university by bartending, and the only difference between me and 50 - 75% of my classmates was that I was lucky enough to have a job that was 80% fun. Also none of us worked three nights a week without having any other responsibilities and talked about that being hard.

It's three fucking nights a week. Her continuing with the night shift -- that doesn't even work overnight and let's her get home before midnight -- would be harder because presumably she can sleep whenever she fucking wants on the four days a week she does nothing but play Skyrim.

 

[Schmeckel]

Whenever I see DSP in his pajama pants looking at the tips goal and going "I don't know guys " I think about that Maori wood carver who got embarrassed any time someone would donate and go "aaaaaugh bro you doesn't have to, you can watch this stuff for free, can you hold on to youse fellas money or spend it on your family?"
Meanwhile Phil is angrily staring at his phone ARE YOU VERIFIED? WHAT IS THE CODEWORD? DID YOU PAY THE EXTRA 30 CENTS? Ok you're allowed to give me money for playing super mario.

One of the other Dave-isms that gives me fits because it's just cult-schtick is his usage of "we."

"We hit the tips goal." No you sack of shit, YOU hit the tips goal off your guilt-tipping. If there was a "we," you'd be spreading the wealth by doing actual giveaways or donating a portion to some organization OTHER than Burnell Enterprises (maybe sponsor a well in Africa, for instance).

He goes back and forth between saying "I really need your support, I need tho-that money I really do...to pay my bills?" and "We didn't hit the subs goal" like an absolute sleazeball.

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

"Dood why can't my sword-wielding mage hit anything in this game! I put 4 points into strength!"
"I die instantly! That's stupid! Why do I only have 4 HP? Dude in real life mages aren't this weak!"

Why am I panicked WHY AM I FEARED?

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

Unemployed Kat arc soon...

View attachment 1949520

Interesting theory. I wonder if this is him preloading excuses for his next beg. "I really need your support because we just lost our second income! My Wife's (thumb to door) safety was at risk! If you are saying she shouldn't have quit you literally want to kill my family! Tips help the most btw."

Kind of like how he preloaded excuses for this weekend's CoD session. "It's a free weekend/new update so there's too many people playing and it's gonna be laggy!"

 

[Salubrious]

I've had a streamer on while I work who's currently gifting ten subs for every death. It's a great idea, and generally people sub or gift right back. I can't picture DSP even considering something like this. It would be fucking hilarious to watch though.

DSP went on a rant at least once (several times probably) because prior to the vest streak, someone asked him what the stream gets if they hit the tip goal, and DSP called that person selfish because the tip goal was FOR HIM!

Edit: To be fair, this clip isn't of DSP calling anyone selfish, but him calmly explaining that the tips goal is so that "he can keep creating content." It's just the first one I found in pigpiggo

From January 8, 2019

 

[Anime Waifu NFT collector]

I know I'm late but regarding Phil complaining about the narrator and animation in Divinity Original Sin, I think that one of the reasons he complains about non sense is because he is so stupid and uncharismatic that complaining is the only thing he can do in a conversation.

I'm not saying this is the only reason but I have met people IRL that are extremely stupid,basic and boring and the only thing they can do in a conversation is talk about things that happened (the equivalent of Phil saying whats on screen) complain or tell you that you should be doing something or a different way you could be doing something.

I have seen this happen with people that are very basic and stupid, because of this they can't give any insight,say anything interesting or crack a good joke so they just complain about stupid shit because they need to say something and the thing they are complaining about is always inconsequential or something that someone who is normal wouldnt even mention. This happen with Phil since all he does is complain about dumb shit,you could argue that he is very toxic and while its true,what else could he say? If he is not complaining he is not talking and also complaining makes him feel like he is in control and better than the other person since he is telling you that you should do better, and who would disagree with doing better?

Btw I have only seen this attitude with women and fags so this is more evidence that he gay.

 

[Dread Pirate Retard]

If he is not complaining he is not talking

I agree with your point but the one exception to this is food. He can literally talk for HOURS about the most mediocre, unremarkable food.

EDIT: Now that I think more about it, at least half of his food discussions are just more complaining.

 

[Paladin Derich]

Edit: also, one of the unwritten roles of a wife is to slap the shit out of their husband whenever they get out of line (e.g. when they start to devolve into a clown-ass bitch). I guess that again assumes that either of them had any dignity to begin with.

Proverbs 27:17
“Iron sharpeneth iron; so a man sharpeneth the countenance of his friend.”

I give John and Leanna credit for trying, but phil is a reprobate.

 

[Zappin’ And Spazzin’]

One of the other Dave-isms that gives me fits because it's just cult-schtick is his usage of "we."

"We hit the tips goal." No you sack of shit, YOU hit the tips goal off your guilt-tipping. If there was a "we," you'd be spreading the wealth by doing actual giveaways or donating a portion to some organization OTHER than Burnell Enterprises (maybe sponsor a well in Africa, for instance).

He goes back and forth between saying "I really need your support, I need tho-that money I really do...to pay my bills?" and "We didn't hit the subs goal" like an absolute sleazeball.

Don’t forget the classic
“What do you guys think? *Leans into chat*
”A-ha! I figured it out!”

 

[An Avenging Bird]

Phil has a Cushing syndrome body

View attachment 1948818

I personally think it's more he's just a lazy bastard

 

[Gamergirl Cleanup Crew]

I know I'm late but regarding Phil complaining about the narrator and animation in Divinity Original Sin, I think that one of the reasons he complains about non sense is because he is so stupid and uncharismatic that complaining is the only thing he can do in a conversation.

I'm not saying this is the only reason but I have met people IRL that are extremely stupid,basic and boring and the only thing they can do in a conversation is talk about things that happened (the equivalent of Phil saying whats on screen) complain or tell you that you should be doing something or a different way you could be doing something.

I have seen this happen with people that are very basic and stupid, because of this they can't give any insight or something,say anything interesting or crack a good joke so they just complain about stupid shit because they need to say something and the thing they are complaining about is always inconsequential or something that someone who is normal wouldnt even mention. This happen with Phil since all he does is complain about dumb shit,you could argue that he is very toxic and while its true,what else could he say? If he is not complaining he is not talking and also complaining makes him feel like he is in control and better than the other person since he is telling you that you should do better, and who would disagree with doing better?

Btw I have only seen this attitude with women and fags so this is more evidence that he gay.

Phil encounters a waterfall

Phil: Look it's a waterfall tuhuhu
Narrator *A glistening clear silk streams its way down the mountainside. This must be the Everfalls of which the townspeople spoke. The pulsing water has worn the sharded teeth of the river down to-*
Phil: Shut the fuck up idiot tuhuhu

As an aside I really like Phil's Speak and Spell idea of what entertainment is because it implies Mommy Burnell would go LOOK PHILLY A COW! WHAT DO COWS SAY? and Phil would go "Moo?" and he's still chasing that rush of his mom going "CORRECT YOU'RE A WINNER!"

 

[Sparkletor 2.0]

Phil encounters a waterfall

Phil: Look it's a waterfall tuhuhu
Narrator *A glistening clear silk streams its way down the mountainside. This must be the Everfalls of which the townspeople spoke. The pulsing water has worn the sharded teeth of the river down to-*
Phil: Shut the fuck up idiot tuhuhu

As an aside I really like Phil's Speak and Spell idea of what entertainment is because it implies Mommy Burnell would go LOOK PHILLY A COW! WHAT DO COWS SAY? and Phil would go "Moo?" and he's still chasing that rush of his mom going "CORRECT YOU'RE A WINNER!"

Laughing at the waterfall is my personal favorite.

 

[ElevenYearBeggacy]

View attachment 1949536

Receding hairline, moobs, no muscle mass to speak off, poor posture, patchy beard, and fat stroke ridden face. Yep, that's our boy Phil.

 

[QwahlityKahntent]

I think about that Maori wood carver who got embarrassed any time someone would donate and go "aaaaaugh bro you doesn't have to, you can watch this stuff for free, can you hold on to youse fellas money or spend it on your family?"

that dude is a scammer too, he just has the opposite grift as phil. if he really didn't want to accept money he wouldn't have it turned on

 

[EmpGulcasa]

Laughing at the waterfall is my personal favorite.

Is there a clip of this?