The criteria for a lolcow in my opinion usually involves some form of mental illness, which results in abnormal and/or abhorrent behavior. Individuals with a history of paranoia and forms of psychosis like gangstalked conspiracy theorists, or degenerates like troons, furfags and diaperfurs. As funny as it is to laugh at lolcows, on an emotional level they're also tragic figures. In addition to supplying laughter they should also inspire a sense of gratitude that we are not them.
The points you listed were entertaining but they weren't really examples of Ethan acting like a lolcow. The Fall of Rome was a fracturing due to built up pressure, Warcampaign were their own entity and not everything they did can be laid at Ethan's feet, Liam Gray is his own person/lolcow, The Glove instance reflects more poorly on Tim Lim rather than Ethan, Wart the Wizard was a crappy book by Mandy Summers which Ethan felt obliged to promote after denigrating it in this thread without knowing it was a CG book and Preston's Last Week in Comicsgate while informative and a useful resource never really inspired laughter.
The majority of lolcows are lonely, unmarried, without children and unsuccessful at life, Ethan doesn't fit this description at all. He has been married twice, has several children and has been rather successful throughout his life working on properties that are household names. He moved on from one extremely successful career and became his own man, generating revenue in the millions of dollars practically by himself.
An interesting challenge for any kiwis who believe he's a lolcow, would be to simply draft a thread for him? The farms prohibits threads created on members, but there are exceptions to this rule. Liam Gray has been a member of kiwifarms longer than I have been, but the mods determined that he was "halal" and approved his thread and moved it from the
Prospering Grounds to the main site. If you can make the case that Ethan is a lolcow and provide sufficient examples in the form of clips, tweets, archives etc then the thread will be approved whether he's a member or not.
