Amy Ramadan / Amy Lee Bell / Amy David / Amy's Life Journey!!! / Amy's DesignZ / amysdesignz - Convicted thief, grifter, fat YouTuber in a spandex hijab; confirmed child abuser

DefCon Dumb said:
She has RECURRENT cellulitis, not chronic. The solution for that? Cleanliness.

The Superbowl last Saturday... redefines painfully stupid.

Way oversharing on whatever happened around her miscarriage & subsequent pregnancies & losing her shit.

I'd be very curious to know at which job she was a manager.
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It is assumed that people who get recurrent cellulitis are probably colonized with mrsa- you can't really culture cellulitis under normal circumstances, but it seems to be what is on the skin of people who keep getting it, and cellulitis is skin bacteria pushed past the skin's depth (but still shallower than muscles or bones). When MRSA was a new problem, scientists even tried bleach baths and other crazy measures to try and get rid of it, not knowing that mrsa likes to hide inside nostrils which cannot be safely bleached. There is a protocol to attempt to kill it within the nostrils with topical medicines while the other infection is being treated with newer antibiotics, but it doesn't always work and is a huge pain. People often get re-colonized by their environment or relatives. The bigger problem here is amy's fat (see what i did there??). A human immune system is only able to patrol a certain amount of mass before the system is stretched too thin, and invaders are able to breach the perimeter. Germs like MRSA are usually quite easy for a healthy immune system to kill, it becomes deadly in the immunocompromised or inside a surgical wound. People as fat as amy are immunocompromised to some degree by having 2-3x as much people meat to defend from germs.
 
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Amy's slashing prices on Amyzon. The fone holders which were 17.99 yesterday are now a bargain at 12.99. Reechains and stabby animals are now 2 bucks cheaper. If anyone ever looked at you and thought "just how fucking retarded are you?" you can now let them know just how fucking retarded you are by sporting the IF LIFE GIVE YOU APPLES t-shirt for 12.99 instead of 14.99! Aren't you glad you waited? Look what a savvy shopper you are!

She's removed the $45 swaddlers lul.
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But wait! There's more! Swippy/Swipey Tags are now half price!!!!
 
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TomatilloSalsa said:
I don't get the mechanics of that thing. Is it bolted into the floor? Does Amy scoop the poo out after one of her kids uses it or is there just a hole cut into the floor of the car so it gets disposed of in the middle of the road?
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I think it’s a glorified potty training seat, not an actual porcelain unit. I always wondered if there was a danger of spilling and sloshing when going around a curve in the road.

ETA: No chance in hell Amy cleaned it. That was surely Miah’s job.
 
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Whale Spotter said:
I want to look so retarded that my parents will tell me that I should move in with them, so I was thinking of buying a fucking piece of ribbon the swipey tags for only $5.99.
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Okay, I am going to get rated 🧩, but I cannot for the life of me figure out the purpose of these tags and I have spent way too long considering why such a thing even exists.

My main sticking point is this: during this lovely Decameron 2.0 period, EVERYTHING that goes into the outside world needs to be de-virusable.

The fact that you would glue some piece of festering fabric bullshit onto a card is just unfathomable to me. Beyond the obvious question of " how fucking fat are you if you can't fat-finger a card out of your wallet?", how do you clean these?

And are these really for your (fat) convenience, or the convenience of the thief who is able to pull these easily from your broken zippered Channel bag?

You know, I realized lately that Amy is a piece of garbage and own her own she'd be a dumpster fire I'd tire of in about two minutes. What makes her remotely interesting is Stoberry's recaps (I did a spit-take at that fucking puppet juxtaposition...just bloody perfection).

I really think Fat Amy should cut @StrawberryDouche in on the profits from her wix empire as, clearly it's Strobry who's adding value to her merchandise! continue fatly so that @StrawberryDouche can add value to our lives with reecaps.*

* EDITOR'S NOTE: Upon further reflection of @Crepidodera fulvicornis' most Excellent Point of Chartered Accountancy, I agree that Stroberry should not have to suffer being involved in Amy's fat enterprise.
 
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Stephan Kang said:
Okay, I am going to get rated 🧩, but I cannot for the life of me figure out the purpose of these tags and I have spent way too long considering why such a thing even exists.

My main sticking point is this: during this lovely Decameron 2.0 period, EVERYTHING that goes into the outside world needs to be de-virusable.

The fact that you would glue some piece of festering fabric bullshit onto a card is just unfathomable to me. Beyond the obvious question of " how fucking fat are you if you can't fat-finger a card out of your wallet?", how do you clean these?

And are these really for your (fat) convenience, or the convenience of the thief who is able to pull these easily from your broken zippered Channel bag?

You know, I realized lately that Amy is a piece of garbage and own her own she'd be a dumpster fire I'd tire of in about two minutes. What makes her remotely interesting is Stoberry's recaps (I did a spit-take at that fucking puppet juxtaposition...just bloody perfection).

I really think Fat Amy should cut @StrawberryDouche in on the profits from her wix empire as, clearly it's Strobry who's adding value to her merchandise!
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Considering the fact her profits are in negative numbers, better spare Strorbry from this gesture of appreciation.
 
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Thomas Eugene Paris said:
I wasn't going to ask, but every time I scroll past, it bothers me. What the fuck kind of fluid is supposed to be in that cup and why doesn't it obey the laws of physics?
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I am late and am playing catch-up yet again. I apologize. I have been in the land of Greatfruit and Bonnetheads for a bit, and unable to be as attentive to this miasmic tale as I would have liked. But I think I know the answer to this one. A very smart and beautiful person once sent me one of the best books I have ever read. It is called "The Last Fine Time," and is by Veryln Klinkenborg. In my humble opinion, he is perhaps one of the finest writers I have ever encountered. His economy of words is impressive. And I shall not delve back into that macho penis-waggling tirade I launched off into about Hemingway, so many pages ago. Irregardregardeless, if any of you dicks like to read, buy that book.

Now, on to the point. I think that the magic fluid in Strorbry's awesome Starbucks cup has been described beautifully by Mr. Klinkenborg. "The water in the shadow of the freighter's stern is colored rust and grey. Each wavelet curls against the hull like a weak adhesive. You wonder whether, instead of water, they use within these slips some sort of technical ship-floating fluid made in giant cauldrons in another part of town."

I'm pretty sure that's what's in that cup. And I plead with my darling Strorbry not to sup it. Ok. I still have like five pages to catch up on, but this post harkened out the Klinkenborg that was given to me and I had to respond. As always, thank you for indulging me.

Lastly, Amy is a giant piece of shit stuffed in a Hefty Bag hijab, and I would gladly throw her down a well, and then go sleep the sleep of angels. But I feel I have probably already typed those very same lines before.

*edited to fix xbox typing and late night beer grammar
 
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$49 a month - yikes. She loves to remind us often how her own business has been a life long dream of hers & how she works SO HAAAAAAAAAAARD on her website & product & thinks about them a lot. A LOT you guys...

I don't know if her thoughts ever slid over to what's really involved in being a Bastion of Retail, the next Ramazon but her efforts right now would serve as a good example in any Small Business 101 class of what not to do.

Thou shalt not venture into an over saturated market with exceptionally cheap products.

Thou shalt not 'steal' other peoples products, slap on a few cheap stickers & try to sell them at a 2-3 x mark up.

The entirety of her website screams AMATEUR. While everybody has to learn, she's tried a similar business before & failed - clearly learned nothing. Her written descriptions are often unclear, poorly spelled & she can't even maintain a standard appearance to her text. She needs an editor.

Her "About" section should be more sales specific. Buyers don't care if she fosters 38 ring tailed lemurs & her stated full time interests would make any buyer wonder if she has the time to properly make her product.

She left Etsy because Mr. Etsy was on her case about selling products illegal to both make & own in Oregon. No matter how enamored you may be with 1 or more of your own products, if it's illegal or not selling - take it off the market. If a t shirt contains a glaring spelling error, take it off the site.

With Etsy, she could have hoped for more traffic. Her current site is strictly stand alone & she has no reach. How many ree chains & other poorly made, over priced items can even her most loyal fans buy?

She'll shut down by summer.
 
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TomatilloSalsa said:
I don't get the mechanics of that thing. Is it bolted into the floor? Does Amy scoop the poo out after one of her kids uses it or is there just a hole cut into the floor of the car so it gets disposed of in the middle of the road?
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Kids are spooned into not peeing/pooping when the vehicle is stationary.
 
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This classic A-me livestream popped up in my recommended thread and I thought I'd take the thread on a trip down memory lane. At the outset of Strobry's burgeoning magnum opus, our fatly protagonist fatly declares jihad on the Keewee Farms and the evil StrawberrySomething.

Fatly enter the bowling pin fatly.
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She got an emill from a stranger telling her to heed a warneen from the dark web. The evil emill directed A-me to her KF thread and told her that CPS and Animal Control will be sent to her house!! A-me can 100%%%% proof that she is innosint! INNYWAYS this StrobrySometheen timestamps EVERYTHEEN A-me does!!! At 1:43, she drank her soda. At 3:42, she ripped ass. I DID NOT RIP ASS!!! EVER!!! ON CAMERA!!!
Repeat this ad nauseum and you have yourself a legendary piece of A-me history.
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The fucking meat talons on this one, clacking her nails like a drag queen. So fatly haram.
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I have to be honest. I am now seriously considering bolting down a toilet in the bed of my pick-up truck. I will get an empty appliance box to cover it up, and people will just think, "Oh, that guy just bought a dishwasher." Little will they know, that "that guy" is actually underneath the box, voiding his bowels in the Denny's parking lot. And when the truck pulls out, there will be an extra order of assbrowns in the parking space. Just in time for the Grand Slam Breakfast. I think it is genius. I am considering writing an anonymous letter to Cockamamie Rambalang, thanking her for liberating my inner public defecator.

I like the lines and sleek European styling of the one pictured above, but if I am being realistic, I don't think I can sit on that one and also get my wing-wang in there too. Maybe I am over-thinking this. Maybe just a pickle barrel and a hole in the bed. That just seems so low-class though. If I went that route, I would imagine that Dollar Store managers would probably condescend to me on the telephone when I harangued them about sippy cups and gave them advice about professionalism. Full size truck-toilet it is. BOMBS AWAY!
 
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CupcakeTurtle1213 said:
This is the cringy-est video. And her voice is completely different.
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Does her intro contain an image of an LDS church? I don't think it's the Portland temple, which is actually between Portland and Salem, just off I-5. Is she just too dumb to know what is in the photos she's stealing?
 
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StrawberryDouche said:
Amy's slashing prices on Amyzon. The fone holders which were 17.99 yesterday are now a bargain at 12.99. Reechains and stabby animals are now 2 bucks cheaper. If anyone ever looked at you and thought "just how fucking retarded are you?" you can now let them know just how fucking retarded you are by sporting the IF LIFE GIVE YOU APPLES t-shirt for 12.99 instead of 14.99! Aren't you glad you waited? Look what a savvy shopper you are!

She's removed the $45 swaddlers lul.
View attachment 1982571

But wait! There's more! Swippy/Swipey Tags are now half price!!!!
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Of all the deathfats, she actually makes me literally laugh out loud. Perhaps it's the ridiculous Muslim thing. But what takes the cake are here t-shirts, especially that Apples t-shirt, replete with horrifying grammar. Excuse the Rebecca Williams-tier reference, but that lemons t-shirt makes me feel like the crowd during Spongebob's bad stand up routine whenever I read it. Horrible, even by the standards of people who wear Walmart graphic t-shirts.
 
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