Chantal truly is unstoppable and it's been an entertaining few days. She's shown us that her desperation for lethal amounts of fat, sugar and salt is directly proportional to the urgency and seriousness of her health issues.
It's almost as if she's trying to silence her fear and awareness of imminent demise with food.
I've seen the arguments about whether or not she has an eating disorder.
Honestly, I don't think she does. Food doesn't terrify her. She doesn't act paranoid around it, she doesn't avoid it or try to control it. She doesn't want therapy to figure out her issues. Just the opposite. She fantasises about food constantly because it gives her joy and she wants to eat without restrictions. Remember what she said about her vision of heaven. Food is her only happiness in life and she's admitted multiple times that certain activities aren't fun without food. For instance, watching horror movies - she doesn't like watching them unless she's having a snack (that was in the video where she talked about going to view an apartment with Peetz and nearly passing out from walking two blocks - one of my favourite vids, but I can't seem to find an archive on here).
She loves food and she can't imagine her life without it. And by it she means the mammoth doses of processed junk.
But that's not what I wanted to talk about. It's the paradox of the current situation that is fascinating.
I have no idea how her brain works, but there are serious glitches in the matrix because literally the moment she announced drastic changes and a brand new health journey, she jumped head first into pizza, poutSine, ice cream, cookies, and all kinds of other oh-so-healthy snacks. And the more she needs to change, the more she spins out of control.
And this time I honestly think it's because she's scared shitless that she's running out of time and there is no way back.
She's been acting more unhinged lately, more desperate for attention and validation, spending most of her days on live streams. I don't doubt that the main reason for that is loneliness and lack of meaningful interaction with anyone but that degenerate roommate. But I also think that she wants those sweet little lies to be true when she sees them in the chat. She wants to believe that she's beautiful and funny, and that health is just around the corner.
She can take it easy today because she's obviously working on a genius master plan, and she'll put it to work tomorrow.
She hopes that one day she'll feel that mystical rush of inspiration to turn her life around and find the path to a skinny future.
But she knows she won't be a success story and there'll be no happy ending.
And at this point, she doesn't have many tomorrows left to start over.
