The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

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Who are the top three strongest characters in the Kevin Gibes Inflated Universe (KGIU) canon?

  • Gash Coyote

    Votes: 102 4.5%

  • Rioley

    Votes: 277 12.3%

  • Penis

    Votes: 408 18.1%

  • Loathsome Dung Eater Jen

    Votes: 291 12.9%

  • Boner

    Votes: 294 13.0%

  • Kevin Gibes

    Votes: 671 29.7%

  • The Elusive Earl

    Votes: 701 31.0%

  • Landon Hiscock

    Votes: 262 11.6%

  • The Korps LARP Brigade

    Votes: 200 8.9%

  • Kiwifarms Militia

    Votes: 1,122 49.7%

  • Kindness

    Votes: 650 28.8%

  • Trans Cucumber The Child Abandoner

    Votes: 306 13.6%
  • Total voters
    2,258
Jump said:
I am new to this whole story but the amazing OP has me hooked now.

And What The Fuck??
View attachment 2000089
They really have wet cells just chilling in their basement venting in to that little house?
When worked hard lead acid batteries give off pure hydrogen (boom!) and Hydrogen Sulfide. H2S will eat their wiring and slowly poison them all. It's a broad spectrum poison that attacks different parts of your respiratory and nervous system.
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I have mixed feelings about the possible build up of hydrogen sulfide in the ranch. On the downside, chronic exposure is associated with miscarriage and infertility, which may hamper Kev's attempts to get pregnant. Furthermore, it could kill them all, having a similar effect to carbon monoxide. I suppose it will stop them all having to all drink the Flavor Aid should some Civil War LARPers stray onto their land.

However, on the plus side, hydrogen sulfide does stink of farts and rotten eggs, but in large concentrations it will damage the olfactory nerve so you can't smell it anymore. This would also have the added bonus of blocking the odour of dead alpacas, bacon grease, Gibes' explosive diarrhoea and the amhole queefs. It is a merciful god.
 
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mister butafuco said:
I have mixed feelings about the possible build up of hydrogen sulfide in the ranch. On the downside, chronic exposure is associated with miscarriage and infertility, which may hamper Kev's attempts to get pregnant. Furthermore, it could kill them all, having a similar effect to carbon monoxide. I suppose it will stop them all having to all drink the Flavor Aid should some Civil War LARPers stray onto their land.

However, on the plus side, hydrogen sulfide does stink of farts and rotten eggs, but in large concentrations it will damage the olfactory nerve so you can't smell it anymore. This would also have the added bonus of blocking the odour of dead alpacas, bacon grease, Gibes' explosive diarrhoea and the amhole queefs. It is a merciful god.
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I wonder if the same level of engineering went in to the septic and well system as their electrical "system".
I am imagining some shallow point well around the way over crowded livestock area and a illegal as fuck(at least in my state) overflowing cesspool.
 
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https://twitter.com/tenaciousranch/status/1371591784535625729?s=21
http://archive.md/WBXIT

Ehehheheh...being called out for animal abuse and yet they still got 10k.

B1B7AC92-7614-4A8E-B3F6-88F8C59DBE96.jpeg
 
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Archeopthryx said:
I remember that you would want an alpaca in your farm so that they can herd with your sheep. Because alpacas are apparently vicious against wolves. Lemme check the internet for a moment.
en.wikipedia.org

Guard llama - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
There we go. Funny they used to use castrated males. Now it's virgin females. The future is female Tranch. You gonna get replaced.
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I am a fan of alpacas now. Cuddly and fierce.
Behead those who harm alpacas.
 
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0 1 said:
The tranchers also seem to struggle with managing the chilly climates of Colorado, the state of their residence, as they have admitted to both alpacas freezing to death and chicken eggs being ruined from the cold. Their haphazard attempts to warm the animals by covering their sheds with exposed insulation seem to have adverse effects as well, as the alpacas have visible manure stains caused by poor diet, leading many to speculate the animals have been feeding on the said exposed insulation. And, because it wouldn't be any other way, the tranch is ready and and willing to deflect any criticism by stating anyone who takes umbrage with how they raise animals is just a troll from Kiwifarms, willfully ignorant of the actual message, all while thoughtlessly posting images of the alpacas being exposed to the elements until they are covered in snow.
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Colorado just got hit hard with snow, the most of the year so far. I have a feeling they are panicing a bit right now

Great OP thanks for the write up

Edit: yea, you guys are totally going to get set on fire right now after you got a foot of snow
1615851898006.png
1615851919053.png

Here is the valley they are afraid of getting burned out of.
1615852084095.png
all that purple melts right to them
 
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Archeopthryx said:
I remember that you would want an alpaca in your farm so that they can herd with your sheep. Because alpacas are apparently vicious against wolves. Lemme check the internet for a moment.
en.wikipedia.org

Guard llama - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org en.wikipedia.org
There we go. Funny they used to use castrated males. Now it's virgin females. The future is female Tranch. You gonna get replaced.
Click to expand...
Alpacas are great guardians for sheep. They have a reputation for being cute and friendly, but they can really fuck you up if they don't like you.

Before the tranch, I had never seen a working farm with alpacas as the main focus. You get petting zoo setups, or those trekking things, but not alpaca farms as you do pig or sheep farms.

Did they pick them because of the aesthetic? I remember that llamas were 'the thing' to put on mugs, clothing, etc. a while back.
 
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cestnul said:
Alpacas are great guardians for sheep. They have a reputation for being cute and friendly, but they can really fuck you up if they don't like you.

Before the tranch, I had never seen a working farm with alpacas as the main focus. You get petting zoo setups, or those trekking things, but not alpaca farms as you do pig or sheep farms.

Did they pick them because of the aesthetic? I remember that llamas were 'the thing' to put on mugs, clothing, etc. a while back.
Click to expand...

My guess is that they picked alpacas as a seemingly quick money making scheme, and because they are still quite popular. Their fibers are toted as quite the luxury thing.

Just, the thing is, when it comes to animal husbandry, it is never a quick money making thing. At least not at the cost of animal welfare and in case of alpacas and their fibers the market is saturated.

The farms I checked out, offered besides alpaca fiber products, hiking with alpacas and workshops for people, who want to keep alpacas (because they are cute and cuddly) and sell alpacas to people (because cute and cuddly). There is in some cases even a market for meat (not so cute and cuddly. But maybe yummy.).

And now imagine this trash tranny troop offering alpaca hikes or workshops to most likely equally neurotic trannies. As of now they certainly can't exist on the pity sales from Etsy.
 
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KooksandFreaks said:
From what I’m seeing online? Not really. There’s just not much of a market for alpaca wool in the U.S. And nobody here consumes alpaca meat. As mentioned in the OP, alpaca farming appears to operate like a pyramid scheme.

If there’s any money to be made at all, it’s in selling the animals you raise to suckers like the ladies at the tranch. I believe alpacas are advertised as easy to care for and maintain. They don’t require as much land, feed, water, specialized equipment and expertise as, say, cattle.

The tranchers would probably have been better off raising goats or sheep. At least there’s a market for their milk and meat. But I think I remember reading in the Kevin Gibes thread that they don’t want to slaughter animals in order to turn a profit. And raising livestock for milk is extremely hard work.

Here’s an article describing how the bottom fell out of the U.S. alpaca market several years ago, if you’re interested. TLDR is: avoid alpacas if you want to make money on a small farm.
priceonomics.com

When the Great Alpaca Bubble Burst

At the peak of the U.S. alpaca frenzy, top breeding alpacas would sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars. While adorable, for many Americans these critters were a seriously bad investment.
priceonomics.com priceonomics.com
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College girls love alpacas, they're the 2010s equivalent to cat videos. No wonder troons pick them, and use them to grift.
 
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Mr Sister said:
Colorado just got hit hard with snow, the most of the year so far. I have a feeling they are panicing a bit right now

Great OP thanks for the write up

Edit: yea, you guys are totally going to get set on fire right now after you got a foot of snow View attachment 2000354View attachment 2000355
Here is the valley they are afraid of getting burned out of. View attachment 2000363 all that purple melts right to them
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I've been reading this thread and thus far I've failed to understand or identify who this alt right tranny hating death squad is? The local town folk ? Detractors? Random delusions ? The ghost of alpacas past?
 
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