Cosplay Lori Cerda / Usagi Kou / Lori Lewd / Zero Two / Lori Lune and Kevin Hanft / AdollaSkye / Skye / Krook3dKev - 37-year-old batshit crazy Sailor Moon cosplayer & e-thot with 20 years of drama, 27-year-old simp manchild cosplay martyr fiancé, Momokun's archenemies

[LoveYouLongTime]

It's obvious when people have no money, because they spend all of it on specific things. In their case, really ugly, impractical shoes. Those you can't really get knock offs of. You can get knock off purses and you can even get the knock off copies of the shopping bags they come in. But if you look at their entire lifestyle, they're just about as basic as they come.

 

[misskittymoxie]

Mock Millionaires: Over at the other farms. some users commented on Lori and Kevin's ghetto fabulous lifestyle. Despite their regular flaunting of "designer" shoes, regularly manicured nails, and the "most expensive" phone from T-Mobile, conspicuous consumption cannot hide their otherwise modest financial situation.

"It’s so obvious that they’re poor. They rent in the ghetto of Utah and consistently flex knock off apparel. Nine times out of ten the people who flaunt are the people who have no money. Your Chinese cosplay with loose threads speaks volumes hunnay. Enjoy driving to Red Lobster for date night with your knock Louis Vuitton masks in your shared 2007 Camry lmfao such a flex!!!" - Anon

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This seems to have struck quite a nerve with Lori. Sporting a rare and awkward smile, she would like us to know that shes NOT poor, you jelous peasants!

#money #influencer #babe
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Spoiler: Forced Smiles and Dollar Sign Earrings

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"This one is damn cute" - robert_libo
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NOTE: Will add and edit content as it rolls in.

Hahahaha I’m dying that jawline in those smile photos is SO POORLY EDITED!!! Girly’s cheeks must be starting to sag too much and she’s resorted to clumsy use of the dodge/burn tool. Hey, at least she’s trying to up her post processing game?..

For those of you that would like an educational diagram of what I’m laughing at, here you go:

Tilting your head up like that under direct frontal lighting most often completely erases your jawline and makes you look like a bad thumb or a peen head. As you can see in this example I’ve crudely put together, she’s used a burn tool function to draw ONE SINGULAR SHITTY ASS LINE WHERE SHE THINKS HER JAWLINE SHOULD BE. Lori. Sweetheart. As much as you want to be, you’re not a 2d anime girl. Heads have depth. You should at least TRY for a shadow gradient underneath your jaw.

Spoiler: “Educational Diagram”

Also you’re welcome for inspiring you to wear a pink tracksuit(?) as Zero Two. Copycat ass bitch.

Spoiler: “Copycat ass bitch”

Kitty November 2020 Vs Lori March 2021

I’d say she’s out of ideas but the more everyone digs, the more I realize she’s never had an original idea in her life.

 

[Celestine]

Her smile (if you can call it that, more of a grimace imho) doesn't reach her eyes. She is a joyless husk of a human being.
I'm not sure who told her that those particular shades and textures of pink and red compliment each other, but I will encourage you to keep giving Lori fashion advice it's possible to style them, but it takes knowledge and skill to put together anything that isn't... that

Anyway, here's some information on smiles and how it relates to mood, real vs fake smiles, so on. (It's from betterhelp so take it with a grain of salt)

Spoiler

When we speak of smiles, our first thought may be a smile of pure happiness. There are other smiles, too, though. There's the smile of fear, the smile of embarrassment, the smile of anger. These smiles have their own distinct physical characteristics. The Duchenne smile is a very unique type of smile that psychologists have been studying for over a century. The Duchenne smile is the smile that continues to fascinate researchers and the public alike.

What Is The Duchenne Smile?

The Duchenne smile is named after Guillaume Duchenne, a French anatomist who studied many different expressions of emotion, focusing on the smile of pure enjoyment. He identified thefacial movements that make this smile different from other types of smiles.

Duchenne Smile Definition

**The exact definition of the Duchenne smile is a bit technical, but we'll break it down for you. A Duchenne smile is a natural smile of enjoyment, made by contracting the zygomatic major muscle and the orbicularis oculi muscle. It’s often quite involuntary, and experienced during times of genuine happiness or enjoyment.**

What Does The Duchenne Smile Look Like?

When you see someone displaying a Duchenne smile, you naturally feel positive emotions for the person smiling. **The smile is distinctive, with the mouth turning up (the zygomatic major muscle), the cheeks lifting, and the eye sockets crinkling to create crow's feet (the orbicularis oculi).**

What Makes The Duchenne Smile So Special?

The Duchenne smile is different from a non-Duchenne smile in several ways. First, the Duchenne smile uses both the zygomatic major and the orbicularis oculi. **A non-Duchenne smile doesn't reach the eyes but resides only on the lips and possibly the cheeks.**

...

To Find Out The Benefits Of The Duchenne Smile

One of the most important reasons to study Duchenne smiles is to find out how they can benefit us. **Researchers are studying how this genuine smile can influence our mental and physical health, our social interactions, and even such things as marketing and persuasion.**

Why Psychologists Study The Duchenne Smile, And What It Means For You | Betterhelp

The Duchenne smile is a natural facial expression of pure enjoyment. It is made with the mouth turning up, cheeks lifting, and the eye sockets crinkling.

www.betterhelp.com

My armchair for today is Lori has rarely felt happiness in her life, judging by her pictures over the years.

 

[Siren54]

Did she just say fuck on this pick? Who would mix a magenta pink track suit with knee high red platform heals and a lavender choker? She doesn’t even talk about astrology at all so why would you wear something your not even into?

 

[LoveYouLongTime]

Also you’re welcome for inspiring you to wear a pink tracksuit(?) as Zero Two. Copycat ass bitch.

Spoiler: “Copycat ass bitch”

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Kitty November 2020 Vs Lori March 2021

I’d say she’s out of ideas but the more everyone digs, the more I realize she’s never had an original idea in her life.

What you think you ordered vs. what you actually received.

She's a massive try hard who thinks the more "bling" you can weigh yourself down with the richer you look when in reality all she did was make herself look CHEAP.

 

[Marche]

why would you wear something your not even into?

Isn't that like her whole personality though?

 

[Siren54]

Isn't that like her whole personality though?

Your right lol.

 

[Natsuki]

I've been re-reading the thread and I wish Lori actually cut and dyed her hair. That's because if you dye your hair a ton it gets damaged (more considering Lori has to dye it twice or more to prevent black roots from appearing) and it starts to fall in chunks and can even leave bald spots if not let rest.
To be honest that would have been an amazing mini saga, the balding Lori saga.

Also good to see that things haven't changed and that Lori is the attention whore copycat she is. Can't wait until this thread is what appears on Google before her social media

 

[OhGodHowDidThisGetHere]

Stealing Accusation: Kevin thinks someone stole $300 from him but refrains from sharing any details as to why he arrived at this conclusion. Is this part of his idiotic Momokun conspiracy theory? Does he think Momokun hacked into his bank account from California to steal a relatively piddlyass $300? Has he ruled out the very real possibility that Lori stole money from him to buy new stripper heels?

"Whoever stole $300 from me, you're a piece of shit and if you live in Cali you know who it might be." - Kevin

---

Mirror Selfies: Clean your room, Kevin. On a general note, there are lots of requests for "Kevin the Cow" to be the next big post topic and he's certainly proving himself to be worthy of his own lolcow title. Thanks for the 2 for 1 special, Lori!

"Get rich or die trying, that's the plan right? Love this collection. Lifestyle and cosplay incoming soon, I just like mirror selfies" - Kevin

---

YRU Extra: Lori's recent IG promotion by shoe company YRU Extra isn't going well. Call me crazy but I don't think crickets are a prime stripper shoe demographic to target.

---

Candid Camera: When anime conventions reopen, will Lori allow herself to be seen in public without the security blanket of her beloved filters?

IG User: "Looooove that bag"

Lori: "it's so cute in person *-*"

IG User: "catch me coming to a con you're at when they're back on just to see your bag"

---

Smiling Contradiction: She smiles in pictures but she doesn't. Fun Fact: Lori's missing tooth is on the top row of teeth on her right side.

IG User: "I like when you smile"

Lori: "lots of it on the ONLY"



IG User: "The queen smiles"

Lori: "rarely in photos"

 

[Speakeasy Electric]

I've been re-reading the thread and I wish Lori actually cut and dyed her hair. That's because if you dye your hair a ton it gets damaged (more considering Lori has to dye it twice or more to prevent black roots from appearing) and it starts to fall in chunks and can even leave bald spots if not let rest.
To be honest that would have been an amazing mini saga, the balding Lori saga.

There’s no way her hair is actually as nice as it looks in pictures.
She (or someone) obviously bleaches her hair, her natural hair is quite dark as I recall. It’s got to be fried in that way that only bleaching your hair platinum can do. It’s also difficult to avoid overlapping bleach when doing roots with hair like that. Though, she must edit out the roots in her pics because I haven’t seen hardly any. Once you get your hair light enough with bleach she probably uses some semi-permanent pink hair dye (think Manic Panic, Arctic Fox) which would not need a developer and therefore would not damage the hair more than the bleaching already did, though again, bleach is hard on your hair.

There’s also probably no way it’s all her real hair, she used hair extensions in the past and I’m sure she does now, which pull on your hair and damage it if you’re not super careful.

And there’s a million hair products to make fried, damaged hair look healthy, but it all goes down the drain when you wash it. It’s just an illusion of health.

Annnnnd if all else fails, shoop it, I guess.

All that’s to say she might be closer losing chunks of hair than it may seem.

Eta I am pretty damn sure she does it herself, there’s a pic of Kevin w/ white hair and he said that Lori did it for him. It makes sense that she knows how to do it, after all she has been a bottle blonde since her sailor moon days, and frankly getting your hair bleached in a salon is fucking expensive. She probably tones it with purple shampoo or something similar to get the brass out and that’s how it looks so white. But she’s definitely bleaching tf out of it. So yes it’s hella damaged.

 

[Nero You're DeadWeight]

What's heavier? Lori's ugly ass earrings or Kevin's coping?

I don't wear earring myself but god those look like they would be hell to wear all day.

 

[Tugboat]

Stealing Accusation: Kevin thinks someone stole $300 from him but refrains from sharing any details as to why he arrived at this conclusion. Is this part of his idiotic Momokun conspiracy theory? Does he think Momokun hacked into his bank account from California to steal a relatively piddlyass $300? Has he ruled out the very real possibility that Lori stole money from him to buy new stripper heels?

"Whoever stole $300 from me, you're a piece of shit and if you live in Cali you know who it might be." - Kevin

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---

Mirror Selfies: Clean your room, Kevin. On a general note, there are lots of requests for "Kevin the Cow" to be the next big post topic and he's certainly proving himself to be worthy of his own lolcow title. Thanks for the 2 for 1 special, Lori!

"Get rich or die trying, that's the plan right? Love this collection. Lifestyle and cosplay incoming soon, I just like mirror selfies" - Kevin

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---

YRU Extra: Lori's recent IG promotion by shoe company YRU Extra isn't going well. Call me crazy but I don't think crickets are a prime stripper shoe demographic to target.

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---

Candid Camera: When anime conventions reopen, will Lori allow herself to be seen in public without the security blanket of her beloved filters?

IG User: "Looooove that bag"

Lori: "it's so cute in person *-*"

IG User: "catch me coming to a con you're at when they're back on just to see your bag"

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---

Smiling Contradiction: She smiles in pictures but she doesn't. Okay, Lori.

IG User: "I like when you smile"

Lori: "lots of it on the ONLY"

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IG User: "The queen smiles"

Lori: "rarely in photos"

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"Get rich or die tryin'"

Proceeds to complain about someone robbing $300 from him. Guess he's not very rich then.

 

[melty]

She for sure wears extensions, the line is really obvious in a lot of photos;

Spoiler

The stuff below the red line is all the fake hair, it's even a different tone here:

Her real hair is actually pretty long for bleaching it so much. The other thing is she had been using these extensions for a long time and they're getting ratty at the end; extensions lose hair over time and you have to replace them. But that costs money, so like her nails, she will stretch them out as long as possible to save money for endless stripper outfits that get worn once.

 

[Snack Cracker]

Her hair has to look awful in person. Pretty sure she’s Latina, so her hair is naturally very dark. And getting hair white, like ACTUALLY white is hard to achieve even for people with naturally lighter hair.
10 to 1 it looks like cotton candy if she doesn’t heat style it.
Just buy a goddamn wig Lori.
I’m sure the flyaways are horrible before she shoops them out.
But of course she is SUPERIOR to those who cosplay and don’t ruin their actual hair for the latest skinwalk.

 

[Daddy's Little Kitten]

I could've sworn she was using a synthetic wig. It looks terrible.

 

[Jaded Optimist]

he think Momokun hacked into his bank account from California

"Whoever stole $300 from me, you're a piece of shit and if you live in Cali you know who it might be." - Kevin

Momokun lives in Vegas, most people know that, so he must actually mean someone else,

 

[Tugboat]

Momokun lives in Vegas, most people know that, so he must actually mean someone else,

Momo has a lot of friends in California. He says that Momo and her LA friends are the ones who “hacked” him.

 

[Umaibae]

OP Edit: Thanks for the feedback, @Umaibae - I took your suggestions and started editing the OP to include a "photoshop abuse" section near the top with comparison pictures. What do you think so far? I'll keep working on it and, as always, appreciate any feedback from fellow farmers.

Amazing! Definitely a good add.

I want to try and find some good side by side comparisons when I get a chance, too.

I never noticed how much that donut picture from the first photo in the OP is a great look into what her pictures probably look like before she shops herself a smaller face. The skin is filtered and edited, but the face shape is closer to the IRL thing. Looks nothing like her OF persona.

 

[StraightShooter2]

So based on this Kevin's dude's bio, it sounds like he may never have had a girlfriend or even had sex prior to meeting Lori, which might explain some of the naivete. Not to mention that he pooped out of college just to get with this chick and support her on min wage.

(However the slicing open your own leg thing is just plain batshit crazy).

 

[Punipunipoemy]

So based on this Kevin's dude's bio, it sounds like he may never have had a girlfriend or even had sex prior to meeting Lori, which might explain some of the naivete. Not to mention that he pooped out of college just to get with this chick and support her own min wage.

(However the slicing open your own leg thing is just plain batshit crazy).

Very brief ex friend here. He had girlfriends/flings before but the guy is picky and wanted ana chan type of girls. Also, he'd drop them if they weren't his body type once he sees their pic or meets them in real life.