I am a crime scene cleaner, ama kiwi edition - Annnd I live in a high gun crime state

[pedoguyguykrai]

So yeah I clean up blood, decay, gore and bodily fluids, and with coivd business has been booming.
Ask me anything.
Also I am self contracted, and I have cleaned up the aftermath of an 800 pound guy dying than only to be discovered a week later when his body fluids leaked through the creaks of his apartment 2 stories down, oh boy the cleaning was horrendous and took me at least 2 months to clean all the apartments. That fat ass paid my car payments for this year. and then some. Where you see death fats, I see money, nigga I hope another death fat causes so much damage for insurance companies to pay because besides my cut atleast other people who worked on that job got to pay off their mortgage, and their kids tuition off the desctuction that fatso left in his wake.

 

[HarveyMCR]

Someone jizzed in my shampoo. How do I figure out who did it?

 

[Pepito The Cat]

Ask me anything.

How much do you charge? Asking for a friend...

 

[Knight of the Rope]

So yeah I clean up blood, decay, gore and bodily fluids, and with coivd business has been booming.

Is it a legit cleaning business, or is it a euphemism? Like a "I work in waste management, wink wink" sort of deal?

And if it is the second one, then my next question:

Annnd I live in a high gun crime state

How much of that is you?

 

[Nick Gars]

How many incidents of "shotgun mouthwash" have you had to clean up?

 

[SIGSEGV]

lol sweep it up

 

[Cheerlead-in-Chief]

This might be late, but have you encountered organs?

 

[pedoguyguykrai]

Someone jizzed in my shampoo. How do I figure out who did it?

depending how much the person has been jizzing it may not even show up underneath blue light but blue light it any way incase it's a daily occurrence.

Is it a legit cleaning business, or is it a euphemism? Like a "I work in waste management, wink wink" sort of deal?

And if it is the second one, then my next question:

How much of that is you?

It's legal, I haven't a had a job where I am hired after a serial went on a rampage, normally after the police clear the scene, and the families are stuck with the mess. there are a few shady businesses that might clean outright evidence for like a rich criminal for an extra kickback from their lawyer, but not the one I am contracted with.

How many incidents of "shotgun mouthwash" have you had to clean up?

over the span of years, too many to count, but this year ten, infact last month a guy thought he was being considerate buy placing towels over his neck and head, and then placing the shotgun in his mouth and pulling the trigger, but no only did I have to clean brains, but hardened brains mixed with fabric, hardened brain is like cement.

This might be late, but have you encountered organs?

not whole organs, but brains, bits of brains, a part of a heart, bits of entrails. its more common to see brains blown out though.

 

[KateHikes14]

This might be late, but have you encountered organs?

Like for sale?

 

[EnemyStand]

Why did you decide to pursue that line of work? Or did you just sort of fall in to it?

 

[melty]

infact last month a guy thought he was being considerate buy placing towels over his neck and head, and then placing the shotgun in his mouth and pulling the trigger, but no only did I have to clean brains, but hardened brains mixed with fabric, hardened brain is like cement.

What's the most considerate way to kill yourself?

 

[pedoguyguykrai]

Like for sale?

No, but a business bought a building where an idiot tried to harvest organs for that shit. but its very rare to get places where a person commited a fucked violent crime, like harvesting organs, most of the times its either murder, suicide, undiscovered death, or meth lab when I was living in florida it was mostly meth lab.

Why did you decide to pursue that line of work? Or did you just sort of fall in to it?

I was a poor fag drop out who stumbled into an untapped market of people stuck with the aftermath of their loved ones who are in took shock to clean it, I cleaned the after math of a neighbors son commiting die in the bath tub and she couldn't afford the quote of the local business their, when she paid a me 500 I thought out shit thats alot of money for a simple job, discovered there was an untapped market and it only really required a ceritification in biohazard stuff, and got hired with a business, and I sort fell into it.

What's the most considerate way to kill yourself?

personally slitting your wristings in the bath tub and having a way for some some one to discover your body while it's still fresh, shooting your brains out only means that they'll splatter on the wall objects, the shards of bone can be lodged into into the walls, and simply oding with out telling any body and letting your body rot for sometime only means more stuff we have to clean up. like literally we have to go into every nook and cranny and commting die by shooting yourself means we have to cover everything, if you want your loved ones to not be traumatized any more than needed slit your wrists in bath tub and keep said wrists their until you die. remember its easy to get rid of blood with chemicals, but a pain to try and find every bit of brain matter and bone shard your mess will leave behind, plus it makes your corpse look terrible.

 

[Just A Butt]

isn't the the plot from an Elliot Paige movie?

 

[Thumb Butler]

Have you encountered poo and piss bottles, or perhaps tubs? Any porn or really disgusting stuff?

 

[Coffee Druid]

Have you watched Spaulding Decon's videos on youtube? (You said you were hired by a business, is it like them?) I discovered them awhile back and they were my introduction to actual cleanups of that nature. I find it really fascinating to watch, but not sure if I'd do it myself. As for questions....ever had to clean up after more than one person's death at the same time?

Side note, I really enjoy watching their videos on hoarding clean ups (they can sometimes overlap with crime scene cleaning). Having personal experience with family being hoarders and hating it, it would be a very cathartic job imo.

 

[Disheveled Human]

So yeah I clean up blood, decay, gore and bodily fluids, and with coivd business has been booming.
Ask me anything.
Also I am self contracted, and I have cleaned up the aftermath of an 800 pound guy dying than only to be discovered a week later when his body fluids leaked through the creaks of his apartment 2 stories down, oh boy the cleaning was horrendous and took me at least 2 months to clean all the apartments. That fat ass paid my car payments for this year. and then some. Where you see death fats, I see money, nigga I hope another death fat causes so much damage for insurance companies to pay because besides my cut atleast other people who worked on that job got to pay off their mortgage, and their kids tuition off the desctuction that fatso left in his wake.

I heard placing Noxima on your upper lip/mustache works well for covering the smell of rot and decay is this a thing you utilize or is it like when i worked at the bread factory and after a while your brain blocks out familiar smells?

 

[NOT Sword Fighter Super]

What cool stuff do you get to keep?

 

[Jewthulhu]

Have you ever killed someone for a job?

 

[Analog Devolved]

Are you hiring? PM me fam.

 

[pedoguyguykrai]

Have you encountered poo and piss bottles, or perhaps tubs? Any porn or really disgusting stuff?

Yes and yes the poo and piss bottles were from a hoarding situation, the lady stored 20 bottles of piss in coke bottles;
I've also threw out so many porn mags, and we had to stop a cleaning because one of the workers as we were tossing out contanimated stuff stumbled up literal cp, like pics of kids in actual sex, that caused us to call the cops, and forensics took over, the old man that died was a registered sex offender, I never really wanted to follow up on that, but I heard other men got busted for it. I've chuckled when I found a full on sex doll in this one mans house, it scared the shit out of my fellow coworkers because it was sitting in the dining room table.

Have you watched Spaulding Decon's videos on youtube? (You said you were hired by a business, is it like them?) I discovered them awhile back and they were my introduction to actual cleanups of that nature. I find it really fascinating to watch, but not sure if I'd do it myself. As for questions....ever had to clean up after more than one person's death at the same time?

Side note, I really enjoy watching their videos on hoarding clean ups (they can sometimes overlap with crime scene cleaning). Having personal experience with family being hoarders and hating it, it would be a very cathartic job imo.

I occasionally do if I want pointers on how to x better or y better, but most of the time when I am off the job I leave it at the door and go to my happy place. Its easier to learn by watching others do, but I don't really like thinking about work as much.

What cool stuff do you get to keep?

none, I take nothing because most of the time the stuff is contiminaated in blood and other unknown bodily fluids.

I heard placing Noxima on your upper lip/mustache works well for covering the smell of rot and decay is this a thing you utilize or is it like when i worked at the bread factory and after a while your brain blocks out familiar smells?

Its a thing for most, but I find for me it doesn't really help you can't really get used to the scent of death though, some do use it and it works for them, but for me not menthol doesn't work, I still smell it, and I've accepted it as part and parcel in my job.

Have you ever killed someone for a job?

no I haven't.

Are you hiring? PM me fam.

I am self contracted through a business, so not I don't make hiring decisions.