Louis "Lou" Gagliardi / Ash Franzetti / Alex 'Ace' Maddox / Tegan Ainsley / Taryn Amita / Diana / gothickitteh / ashkat724 / Lynn Brooks / @acekatt - #T R A M S _ C R O W _ F U N D *buys 12 iPads* "Anyone got $600 they can spare?" *spits on cancer patient*

[Miss Misery]

@troothqueen?

Do you think he knows everyone is going to read that as @troonqueen?

 

[YumeNoHero]

Fat fuck thinks everyone has goldfish memory.

"Woo! Another successful grift," Louis celebrates while shoveling a handful of caramel popcorn into his mouth, the individual pieces sticking to his sugar-coated palms. Suddenly, his heart sinks to the pit of his stomach as his hand touches tinfoil. Struggling to speak through stifled weeps, he finally utters out his sentence. "Out already!?" He reaches his hand into the pile of bags, stacked up to neck height, for another pack, but is greeted by the cold sting of aluminum and the dread of realization as he grasps empty air. Hitting the peak of his endurance trying to reach for a new bag while fighting off tears, he pulls towards the base of the mountain. "It's..." he begins, before realizing speaking aloud while already exerting himself began to make his head blur from exhaustion. He gurgles to nobody in particular as he thinks to himself in a panic instead, "it's gotta be on the bottom, all the good stuff is always on the bottom!" He repeats this mantra until he finds success, tugging at the first bag to offer any resistance to his wresting grasp, but the bag seems to lighten as he continues to pull. He realizes too late that the weight he felt was simply the pile of discarded popcorn bags weighing down the already-emptied one in his grasp when the tower collapses on him. Pelted by rectangular bags like a hailstorm, Louis barely detects pain through his layers of protective and insulating fat. He was soon submerged, as nothing but his head and the fat of his shoulders poked out from the ocean of aluminum. Under normal circumstances, Louis could easily escape from his tinfoil sarcophagus, but he had already exhausted his stores of bodily energy during his attempt to move and talk simultaneously. Just as a bear's instincts tells it to hibernate, Louis rests his eyes to regain his spent power.

Seconds pass as he snuffles into slumber. Then, slowly, his nose picks up a scent. First one sniff, then two, then an entire barrage of snorts erupts as his nose just about pulls itself from his face. His eyes open, one a full second after the other, to a blurry vision. A single, discolored kernel rested just inches from his face. After two or three failed attempts to whip the popped corn into his mouth using his tongue, Louis's patience lasted no longer. Just as water would splash from an iron cannonball being fired into it, the bags swamping Louis erupted into the air caused by the brief yet rapid expansion of his body fat from a single flex of his atrophied, suffocated muscles before he quickly returns to his usual, rotund form. Reflexively, Louis's jaw unhinges and he begins to suck in air stronger than a vacuum until the lone kernel, descending with the bags which exploded with it, is pulled into his mouth. His maw mechanically snaps shut into a chomp, stopped only by an unpleasant crunch which causes his entire head to vibrate. Too shocked to make a noise, Louis topples back from the sudden and jolting pain he had just felt.

When he lands, the bags which had already fallen shoot back up into the air to rejoin those which still drifted upon the wind. The air being forced out of his body, the lone kernel shoots upwards before making a gentle landing on his chest, squishing softly and bouncing off himself as it uses his body fat as a trampoline before finally coming to a rest. Tears well up in Louis's eyes, half from pain, half from realization. "Oh no," he thinks to himself, "I'm...I'm all out of popcorn! I'm g-gonna starve!" Images of the diabetic-friendly food his dietician provided him flash before his eyes as he briefly glances at the garbage bin they now reside in. If he still had the strength, he would spit in disgust, as Louis was calmed only by the satisfaction of knowing he had fired her long ago. "How am I gonna buy more...?" As he idly glances at the kernel resting upon his chest, the gears in his head begin to click as his plan unravels across the corners of his mind. He smiles when he feels his tooth with his tongue. Although slick with a gritty bumpiness which shifted and slid from the touch, as it always does, there was no detectable damage...but nobody had to know that little detail, did they? Still, he had to wait quite a while. Two entire full-body movements in one day? It will be hours before he could hope to regain but a sliver of that expended energy. The drafting of how he will construct his next Twitter post in his thoughts was halted only when he noticed the kernel one more time, coupled with gnawing hunger. Futilely, he attempts to use his tongue to whip the kernel in his mouth once again as the destroyed mountain of popcorn bags finally began to fall into a landscape of aluminum hills and valleys around him. He would be at this for a while, but luckily he has all the time in the world.

This is autistic and I love it.

 

[Spoonomancer]

the Lily Peet thread has reached page 1000 only recently and it's existed since 2016, fucking wild that Lou's thread has only existed for a fifth of that and we're already nearly to 900.

 

[Lou's Abndoned Artwork]

the Lily Peet thread has reached page 1000 only recently and it's existed since 2016, fucking wild that Lou's thread has only existed for a fifth of that and we're already nearly to 900.

Lou is very effective at driving people to his own thread, and pissing people off enough to come and participate. I came here after making the mistake of calling out one of his lies and getting into a slapfight with him. He deleted his offending tweets and flat out lied, "I never said that, quote the actual tweet at me, don't use a screenshot or archive tool. That's right, you can't, checkmate!"

It also helps that he has a very obvious and predictable circle of behavior, but with every rotation it changes just enough to push on the conversation and sheer bewilderment of his life. It's like Groundhog Day or one of those Anthology TV series where the central theme permiates every episode.

Grift.
"My life sucks."
Grift.
"My foot wound is not an Ulcer you assholes!"
Grift for bullying.
"Ok, I'm diabetic, KF was right."
Grift for being permanently disabled.
"Doctor said I can never work again."
Grift for sadness.
"Where's my stimulus?"
Grift for crowd funded stimmy.
"I now need a monthly stipend"
Grift for a monthly allowance.
"I only ask for needs, not wants! I only bought a new Tablet and Chromebook!"
Grift because people are bullies.

.... On and On forever.

 

[Next Task]

Lou is the kind of person who, if you invited him out to a group dinner, would scream at the server and demand to see a manager because his order of two large pizzas and 20-piece boneless wings wasn't at the table within fifteen minutes while everyone else at the table sat in mortified silence. Then he'd drip ketchup all over the table while he was eating and constantly be snapping his fingers for refills on his Coke. He'd finally wind up the night by leaving a shitty tip and vowing to trash the place on Yelp while all his friends quietly vowed never to go anywhere with him again. Then he'd wonder why he wasn't invited to the next big get-together and have a whiny shitfit on Twatter while all the other people went out and had a great, Lou-free night.

Nah, I don't think that's Lou. Lou is the sort of person who is overly loud and oblivious to all social cues. He wouldn't click his fingers, he'd stick an arm out as they were passing by, physically blocking them to get more 'pop'. If they got his order wrong, he'd be relatively polite to the waiter about it, but bitch about it to the rest of the table for the entirety of the meal, even after the mistake was fixed. He would talk over people and make inappropriate 'jokes' that embarrass his friends and mean that several tables around now know about what he thinks of someone else's asshole. He'd be so hyped up on actually socialising with other people that he'd be acting like everyone at the table were his bestest friends, so would overshare, and talk as if they were a secret table of superheroes while the 'normies' in the restaurant were unaware they were deviant furries, forgetting that he's wearing a t-shirt that has a cougar Wonder Woman on it and everyone can hear what he has to say. If everyone was talking about someone they were a bit annoyed by, he'd be the one saying how much he wanted to punch them in the face or hit them with a car.

I think that's pretty key, from what we know of him - he would be very much about aggression, both giving and receiving. In that he'd continually say things that make other people uncomfortable, but anyone willing to be seen in public with Lou in the first place is the sort to think, 'Well, he can't help it, he's just autistic, there's no point making a stink about it.' But also he'll take offence at something someone says at the table, not necessarily directed at him, and seethe about it for the rest of the meal. He might start making pointed 'jokes' at his target that everyone can tell is him just being an asshole, but he'd definitely complain about what a horrible person they were to anyone who can't get away fast enough after the meal is done.

Micro-aggressions isn't the right term, because Lou is fat, but also because he would just generally be aggressive while the person he gets angry at would likely not have been aggressive at all, but the point is that I don't think he'd get people to blow up at him, at least in a public, non-convention-type place. People will likely be making fun of him at the table, which he'd miss, but some offhand comment not even about him would get him going, and if the conversation ever gets onto one of his passion topics, expect him to very forcefully express his very definitive opinions in a way that shuts up even people who would otherwise pretty much agree with him.

Afterwards, if they talk about it, none of the others will admit to inviting him, quite possibly because no one did, just he overheard and no one could tell him 'no'. Everyone there will resolve to make their plans more privately in the future, and a few months down the line Lou would be bitching about cliques and how furries/troons/whatever group he wants to be part of are meant to be inclusive spaces, because he has no clue as to how he comes across, but also doesn't at all care. People are just meant to accept you for who you are, right? And Lou's a horrible person who no one likes, but that doesn't mean you get a say as to whether you spend time with him or not.

 

[Kled]

EDIT:

Popcorn is not a treat for a diabetic. Considering his Type 10 beetus, popcorn should be the last thing on his mind. Corn is a starch and staches have carbs which you should avoid. Carbs create sugar when they use for energy which spikes your blood sugar, shocking I know. And knowing how fucking unhealthy he is it was probably loaded with salt and butter and he couldn't help but shovel paw fulls in his mouth which included kernels and he bit down like the hungry fucking beast he is and fucked up. Dude spends all this time on the fucking internet and can't even be bothered to look up the foods he should and shouldn't eat. Plus he doesn't do shit but complain about muh toe and sit around being a worse version of Jabba the Hutt. What's he gonna do with all that energy he's storing up by eating all this starch? Dude has a hole in his fucking foot and a type 2 diagnosis and the immediate foods he goes for are carbs and sugars out of all fucking things. He literally cannot expire fast enough but knowing him, all that processed food and preservatives he wolfs down daily probably placed his organs in stasis so he'll live to be 91 and someone who givs a shit about their diet and exercise will die at like 35.

 

[Casta Spersions]

Someone should send Lou a 5xl t shirt with @Punished Spoon s "Lou Is a grifter" tiger on it. Well, not really but you know he'd still wear it.

I miss @Great Dane. They had great posts. I just considered the pronoun respecting a stylistic choice, even if I did wonder at times who "she" was before my brain autocorrected it to he.

 

[Aunt Carol]

Popcorn is not a treat for a diabetic. [...] Dude spends all this time on the fucking internet and can't even be bothered to look up the foods he should and shouldn't eat. Plus he doesn't do shit but complain about muh toe and sit around being a worse version of Jabba the Hutt. What's he gonna do with all that energy he's storing up by eating all this starch? Dude has a hole in his fucking foot and a type 2 diagnosis and the immediate foods he goes for are carbs and sugars out of all fucking things.

Word. Popcorn is about 5 grams a cup for plain and air-popped, which isn't bad, if you eat a cup or two. Hate to be a pessimist, but I suspect Lou's serving size may be larger than that.

I can guarantee that one of the things he got from the hated diabetic educator was a photocopied list of Suggested Diabetic Snacks, to come in under 15 grams per. "Three cups of air-popped popcorn" is almost always on those snack lists, so "the one treat that's OK for me as a diabetic" isn't complete BS, just an exaggeration, considering the wide, wide world of eggs and vegetables. Welcome to diabetes; time to cook yourself some goddamn sugar-free Jell-O, princess!

(I'm surprised Lou doesn't know the word "kernel," but I probably shouldn't be.)

 

[Kled]

Word. Popcorn is about 5 grams a cup for plain and air-popped, which isn't bad, if you eat a cup or two. Hate to be a pessimist, but I suspect Lou's serving size may be larger than that.

Knowing him he probably went through a box of Orville Redenbacher because he's just so sad guys. I heard Kettle Corn was also not bad for you either if you eat one or two cups but his dumb ass should be eating high fiber fruits and vegetables. Whatever happened to him getting Ring Fit after that diagnosis? Whatever happened to him walking more? He's the human equivalent of "I'm gonna go to the gym as my new year's resolution!"

Welcome to diabetes; time to cook yourself some goddamn sugar-free Jell-O, princess!

He shouldn't be eating that either lmao. In the immortal words of Dr. Now: "High protein no carbs and exercise twice a day for an hour. No snacking or grazing in his case. No sugary drinks no sodas no candy no pasta no nuggies. If he does that then he should have no problem losing 60 pounds in one munt."

 

[Aunt Carol]

He shouldn't be eating that either lmao. In the immortal words of Dr. Now: "High protein no carbs and exercise twice a day for an hour. No snacking or grazing in his case. No sugary drinks no sodas no candy no pasta no nuggies. If he does that then he should have no problem losing 60 pounds in one munt."

Yeah, but this is Lou, here. He's never going to improve his life; we're here to recreationally fact-check his pity party.

He's complaining about not having enough food approved for "treats," I'm citing a literal dessert that's on all of those hackneyed Type II handouts (and has fewer calories than a tablespoon of his beloved ketchup). Even if Lou's allergic to fresh food, he still has inexpensive, low-carb "treat" options.

 

[0 0]

(I'm surprised Lou doesn't know the word "kernel," but I probably shouldn't be.)

I honestly had to remind myself "kernel" also meant "a piece of popcorn," but I have the excuse of listening to programmers chatter all day. If anything, Louis should be more familiar with food-related terms than anyone besides a professional cook.

 

[Wooden Spoon]

Someone should send Lou a 5xl t shirt with @Punished Spoon s "Lou Is a grifter" tiger on it. Well, not really but you know he'd still wear it.

We would see the biggest chimpout YET from Lou.

 

[Loona]

"im not asking"
"give me money"

ZvWCw

 

[Wooden Spoon]

Lou has already lost 4 teeth due to his dental hygienic care (lack of) and sugar habit. Might as well just jerk em all at this point. No one wants to put a smile on his already toothless grin

 

[Mal0]

"im not asking"
"give me money"
View attachment 2120254
ZvWCw

Why would anyone want to make you smile? Your teeth aren't much better looking than your face Lou...

 

[Doggo]

I can't put my finger on it, but it definitely is an odd feeling to come back after several weeks, which may as well be a life sentence in prison at the rate this thread's going, and finding that absolutely, positively nothing has changed, except the name and maybe some of the art and/or profile pics.

I think the reason it feels so odd to me, is that there can be so, so much content and insanity here derived from someone who isn't even going around in circles, but standing still, because to move around in circles still implies that you are moving forward at all, albeit not in a progressive direction.

P.S.

"im not asking"
"give me money"
View attachment 2120254
ZvWCw

I'm not asking, so I'm gonna ask.

 

[Storfle]

finding that absolutely, positively nothing has changed

I don't know what you're talking about, he just cracked his tooth on a popcorn treat, it's a thrill a minute in this thread!

 

[Doggo]

I don't know what you're talking about, he just cracked his tooth on a popcorn treat, it's a thrill a minute in this thread!

Fair point. We'll probably be hearing about it for the next 30 years though.

 

[Spoonomancer]

I don't know what you're talking about, he just cracked his tooth on a popcorn treat, it's a thrill a minute in this thread!

lmao how bad is his teeth that he cracks a tooth on a popcorn treat, which as far as I can remember, usually never has kernels in it

 

[soft bones]

lmao how bad is his teeth that he cracks a tooth on a popcorn treat, which as far as I can remember, usually never has kernels in it

It's not a treat, he's counting a whole bag of theater butter popcorn as a "treat" even though gorging on it goes against Type II diabetic diets.