DarksydePhil / TheyCallMeDSP / Phil Burnell - General Discussion

[Dread Pirate Retard]

Why does he says 77dollars when he writes down the tax as business expense? O yea... he is a victim.

Edit:

POORLY MADE. He fukin hates it, didnt even play it. He bought it tho.

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Imagine being so entitled that you get upset when game devs don't design their game around your streaming schedule.

His whole Returnal rant boils down to one thing: DSP fucking hates being challenged. If you have to replay something the game 'wasted your time'. He just can't admit that he's a super fucking casual who wants the cinematic move-game experience that he can blow through in 10 hours and check off his to-do list.

Also his obsession with progression is bizarre. Apex Legends is bad because there's no progression system so playing it is a waste of time. But CoD is a better experience because the devs lock attachments and certain guns behind a grind wall. He's literally a Pidgeon in a Skinner Box. Bar fill up, number get bigger, flashing lights and sounds = dopamine rush. Someone better inform the millions of people playing Chess that according to the legendary game critic Phil Burnell, Chess is stupid because you don't 'get' anything after playing a game. I don't think Phil understands that games are supposed to be fun in and of themselves.

And he's not even consistent with his weird progression take. When he was bashing his head into the wall for hours on end playing GnG he framed his failure to advance one checkpoint by the end of a stream as 'progress' because he had gotten further than he did last time and was getting better. Something tells me this logic will be conspicuously absent during his Returnal gameplay because he's already decided ahead of time that he hates the game.

 

[Forbidden Math]

theres a lot going on with him and fighting games but nothing new to be said really- he has crafted a significant chunk of his ego around being Top Ranked North American in ST and every time he loses he gets reminded that the reality is that he placed 4th in an event almost 20 years ago boycotted by top players in the much smaller pre-SF4 fighting game community.

when he loses he also doesn't understand what's happening because he has zero analytic ability. throw in some clinical paranoia and you have an extremely frustrating experience because in his mind his failure could be anything from the game being bugged to trolls somehow disrupting his neurological functioning. imagine you went to go do something you're good at this weekend but when you tried it you suddenly failed over and over. now imagine instead of being able to perform basic troubleshooting to find out what's wrong your brain just starts compulsively thinking about tractors.

to answer the question though fighting games take a long time to get competent at and you're lookin at a couple hundred hours before you can hop on fightcade and not just end up being some guy's fuck doll. lots of people still do have fun at all skill levels but if you value being Good at Games they require a time investment and commitment that understandably filters a lot of people.

a prerequisite to enjoying fighting games however is to enjoy video games and phil just doesn't like them anymore.

It really should be noted that Phil not only declares himself a casual player in general but also that he clearly doesn't invest even close to the time required to be as good as he thinks he is. He thinks he learned ST so now he's a master of every fighting game and when that doesn't turn out to be true the game is bad and it's developers don't know what they're doing because how could he, the top American ST player, lose legitimately?

That's why DSP only really likes piss easy games like Heavy Rain or Bugsnax because he doesn't want to be challenged in anyway, he's already the best and the game -thumb motion- agrees with him.

 

[SPhobos]

Holy shit between rambling about twitter and screaming at his cat DSP has successfully turned himself into a 50 year old woman

 

[The Batter]

Phil can't go grocery shopping on his own without khet. He's not sure how much food to buy, or that you can order your shit online

 

[Salubrious]

Holy shit between rambling about twitter and screaming at his cat DSP has successfully turned himself into a 50 year old woman

Most 50 year old women I know have more muscle mass and more mobility than DSP.

 

[Massively Strong Greed]

I can honestly see an outright Twitch ban in the not so distant future, especially if he keeps up the unhinged outbursts. It might sound like wishful thinking, but nobody really anticipated the loss of partnership either (well, everyone stopped expecting it because the daily TOS violations never seemed to do anything).
And DSP not being a partner anymore certainly doesn't do him any favors there.

He’d need to keep saying “tranny” and “retard” as well as claiming that bits have monetary value.

 

[Guess i'm toxic now!]

Phil can't go grocery shopping on his own without khet. He's not sure how much food to buy, or that you can order your shit online

His mom-I mean waif needs to be there so Phil doesn't get lost in the store. "Tell me where to go....you still haven't told me mahhhm".

 

[UaineRunei]

Phil ranting about Cyberpunk... Again...

 

[Salubrious]

Phil can't go grocery shopping on his own without khet. He's not sure how much food to buy, or that you can order your shit online

Maybe this is off topic, or maybe this is pinwheel on my part, but I remember early on in COVID, DSP was ranting about how an old woman bought 14 bottles of pasta sauce and how terrible a woman she was for "hoarding" food and not just getting exactly what she needed. And I thought of two things: (1) maybe that's what she needed. Especially since DSP said the number 14, maybe it was either two weeks of sauce or she doubles up for a large family. I know people that eat pasta or rice or the same base carb every day. (2) DSP NEVER plans for the future no matter what. It's funny that he'll hoard all his broken collectibles, but GOD forbid he gets a couple extra boxes of pasta or rice or sauce or something. Maybe have a couple extra non-perishible items ready just in case. But no, he'll buy EXACTLY what he needs, then complains about his schedule because he can't move back his shopping one day or he'll run out of food.

I don't know, maybe it's nothing, but it fascinates me.

 

[Guess i'm toxic now!]

"30k is not a lot of money for a bonus" huuuuuhhhhh? Did he just say that? Also him being upset at the top people in CDPR getting tons of money is rich coming from the guy who needs "$400 a day" to survive....wtf Phil.

 

[DZoomer]

Communist Phil complaining that upper management gets more money than workers. As if this fat faggot would not hoard as much money as possible if he was a manager.

 

[Salubrious]

"30k is not a lot of money for a bonus" huuuuuhhhhh? Did he just say that? Also him being upset at the top people in CDPR getting tons of money is rich coming from the guy who needs "$400 a day" to survive....wtf Phil.

LOLWTFBBQ? Did he really say that?

I think 95% of this audience minimum doesn't even make that in a year.

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Man who gets paid $120k to sit there and play games in Zelda pyjamas is now ranting about how trickle down economics aren't helping the little guy. Also, man who paid for their product says we need to stop supporting companies like this.

 

[UaineRunei]

Communist Phil complaining that upper management gets more money than workers. As if this fat faggot would not hoard as much money as possible if he was a manager.

Don't you dare talk about our leader Phil de Castro!

Edit:

 

[Guess i'm toxic now!]

LOLWTFBBQ? Did he really say that?

I think 95% of this audience minimum doesn't even make that in a year.

He is absolutely delusional. He makes 110k a year to listen to himself speak and bitch. So 30k is like his fun money. He has lost all value for money and now just sees it as something he is "owed" .

 

[Forbidden Math]

Guys I'm so excited for all of these Cyberpunk rants to bite him in the ass as the game gets patched and gets DLC (just like Witcher 3 did). People are going to praise it same as Witcher 3, it's just a matter of time (though consolefags like Phil will forever be ass blasted).

 

[The Penultimate Warrior]

Never went to the ear doctor because of Khet's schedule. Nothing he could do.

 

[Salubrious]

He is absolutely delusional. He makes 110k a year to listen to himself speak and bitch. So 30k is like his fun money. He has lost all value for money and now just sees it as something he is "owed" .

I think it's very clear that DSP is very fucking lonely and has nobody to talk to. So he just rants on his prestream to vent his frustrations.

To be fair, I'm on Kiwi Farms for the same reason: I have no other outlet to rant about politics.

But still, I do have friends and family outside Kiwi Farms. DSP's "holier than thou" level of preaching to people and banning any dissenters, combined with his complete lack of friends, combined with his wife who clearly doesn't care about him, is just fascinating to watch.

 

[Basic Bill]

After all these years it still amazes me how little DSP understands about the games industry. An industry he relies on for his livelihood. Certain game design decisions completely baffle him, and he’s clueless about the production.

Combine that with the fact that he can’t even articulate what he likes or hates about anything in his life, and you get his room temperature takes.

Most adults know you shouldn’t just blindly accept all review scores, and that you get a more nuanced take when you actually read the text. Find a source that aligns with what you look for and value in a game, but still make up your own mind. You’re not some bastion of truth for figuring out that some reviews are persuaded by money, corporate interest, or incompetence. Even then those people put more work into their couple hundred word reviews than Phil has ever put into his “content”.

 

[Salubrious]

After all these years it still amazes me how little DSP understands about the games industry. An industry he relies on for his livelihood. Certain game design decisions completely baffle him, and he’s clueless about the production.

Combine that with the fact that he can’t even articulate what he likes or hates about anything in his life, and you get his room temperature takes.

Not only that, but after like three years, DSP barely understands how Twitch works. (In before he won't need to for very long jokes.) Hell, DSP still thinks YOUTUBE is a bastion of trolls and refuses to censor anything. YOUTUBE! Because God forbid LSB and others aren't immediately ban hammered for restreaming.

Then again, it's hilarious that he thinks that he's the only streamer that has trolls. Yep, nobody trolls Shroud or Ninja or any other of the big names. Only him. And it's all undeserved.