Met a guy on Tinder. Went to his place. Allegedly did coke, molly, and smoked meth from a pipe that was just laying around. He reportedly fucked her somehow, but in so doing, he slapped the absolute shit out of her tiddies. She explained this as him being a "dom" and it being part of his culture to punch boobs. He has a normal bed but also a mattress on the floor, "just for her" where he fucks her/makes her sleep. She went back the next day, taking her TV with her. This promptly "got broken". The dude is a professional chef, who works in construction. But he's also a magician. And he does eyebrow threading in his spare time. And he never seems to be at work, ever. The first night she went over, there was another woman there ("not as fat as me, but I was prettier," Chantal assures us) who got mad when she saw Chantal. Chantal was vague about her. "His roommate," she shrugs. "She was going to rent a room from him." There was also a dude there who her "lover" tried to rope Chantal into a threesome with, and who offered her fifty bucks to see her tits.
Soon after, Chantal Cokejaw "broke up" with him to "focus on herself". This lasted... not long at all. She drives over when he commands her to, has what I can only imagine to be the worst possible sex, and then he sends her home. He likes her to "sneak out" while he's sleeping. She thinks it's cute and he's just "bad at being a boyfriend". They had a talk, and it's "getting serious," she says, as she snorts back the coke boogers. She was intentionally taking things over there so she could stealthily move in and "claim her territory". She accidentally doxed him, we found him, she decided not to say anything to him. She's in love with him, yaknow? They could be falling in love with each other. He said he loved her. It's been three whole weeks.
Now she broke up with him again. By voicemail. But also she's calling him with her other phone, trying to "catch" him. She's mad that when she calls him and he's sleeping, he doesn't wake up. He said he wanted time with his friends, she tried to make him jealous by saying she was going over to Bibi's.... "He's friends with his ex, and I can't be friends with mine? That's bullshit. Also, I'm going to openly admit that I did this to try to make him jealous, but I JUST CAN'T DEAL WITH HIS GAMES..."
You know the rest from here, I think...