Tess Holliday / Ryann Maegen Hoven - Beached Landwhale model, Body positive and social justice snacktivist, and gigantic fraud

How much does Ryann weigh?

  • 300-350lbs (Panda Bear)

    Votes: 26 1.0%
  • 350-400lbs (Bull Caribou)

    Votes: 146 5.5%
  • 400-450lbs (Heart of a Blue Whale)

    Votes: 379 14.2%
  • 450-500lbs (Pigmy Hippo)

    Votes: 545 20.5%
  • 500-550lbs (Domestic Pig)

    Votes: 394 14.8%
  • 550-600lbs (Baby Grand Piano)

    Votes: 318 12.0%
  • 600-650lbs (Vending Machine)

    Votes: 192 7.2%
  • 650+ (A Fucking Planet)

    Votes: 661 24.8%

  • Total voters
    2,661
Does she think her lips look good blown up like double blimps? She looks like a really fat fish.

You're talking about someone with both a bizarre toe splay along with grody, long, uncut toenails because Ollie is too busy to show up with the nail clippers. Shit, if Bowie tried to do it, he'd lose an eye when the clipping shrapnel hits his face,

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I have a hard time understanding how these two pics can be the same feet. When she's not putting weight on her foot, like the 2nd pic, her toe arrangement looks normal. Then she stands up like the 1st pic and her toes splay so far it looks like she's missing a toe in the middle.

Wouldn't that much foot bone splayage/spreading lead to crippling arthritis in a few years? Also, LOL at the blurry tattoo on the top of her misshapen hoof.
It’s not. It’s considered heatless curls. Next she will be saying the freckles she draws on over top the globs of makeup are real.
Those "freckles" she draws look like huge blackheads on her greasy ass face. I'm surprised she hasn't figured that out by now.
 
Tess has been moving to tiktok as of late because it’s where she has been getting the least amount of hate on social media. The gen zs don’t know who she is so it’s an echo chamber of YASSS QWEEENNN for her.

tessholliday · 3h ago
I don’t make the rules #TWDSurvivalChallenge #MaxPlumpJump #TostitosUnspokenBonds
Fuck you, Tess. Mental illness isn't fun or quote. Would you be throwing your gunt around like this if you were talking about being pre-diabetic? Fucking ass.

Comin thru to piss ppl off by existing ✨ #MaxPlumpJump #TostitosUnspokenBonds #SpotlightAPI
оригинальный звук - Makeup Queen 👑
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...how is it natural texture if it takes a load of products and techniques to achieve??? Am I just a retard?
No, that's a really good point. That's consumerism for you I guess. Discover your "natural" hair by switching all your current hair products over to different products.
She can spend that much money on a handbag, (it IS a cute bag) but can't get a three-bedroom place so Rylee can live there as well?
You've got it backwards, silly. She can't get a three-bedroom because then she wouldn't have an excuse for Rylee not to live there.
 
She can spend that much money on a handbag, (it IS a cute bag) but can't get a three-bedroom place so Rylee can live there as well?
She didn't spend anything. She's never once been seen with that bag so it was all an ad for that resale shop.

And if she did get paid for that pathetic plug, the bag was her only form of payment. She doesn't have that kind of cash. But like I said before, I'm pretty sure it was all an act because the only designer bag she's ever been seen with in that ancient and ugly Balenciaga bag that she drags everywhere thinking it makes her look rich. Never once has she been seen with a pink Chanel bag.
 
Those "freckles" she draws look like huge blackheads on her greasy ass face. I'm surprised she hasn't figured that out by now.
We're talking about the same woman who thinks her greasy skin looks "dewy" - so it is apparent that she harbours many delusions about the true state of her dermal layer.
 
The kind who thinks it's kewl to purchase a Balenciaiga (SEVERAL, SEVERAL, seasons old) bag off ebay. Be sure to pick items that have the name obnoxiously visible on the front (or make sure there's a French word like Rue visible so people know you're fancy!)

You know the REAL people are laughing their asses off at this fat POS. For one thing, she's always going to be too fat and too goddamn stupid to fit into anything from a flagship store with no visible label.

She's a lot younger than me, but Hooves here was definitely the bloviating gas giant at her high school who always wore TOMMY! TOMMY JEANS TOMMY HILFIGER or made sure you could see her Bedouin Tent (purchased at the Mexican fleamarket) with MARITE ET FRANCOIS GIRBAUD

Lol. I bet her cousin or some family member actually has pictures to confirm it.
The internet created a word to explain this and Tess's entire aesthetic. Cheugy.
Further explanation for the boomers.
 
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Me again, the bag-retard. What bag is this?
It's the small black purse she uses constantly in her Stories that has the word "Balenciaga" written garirishly across the front in bright "tagger" looking letters. She was recently in a staged paparazzi photo, waddling out of the gym with the purse stuffed so full it couldn't close.

As others have said, it's many many seasons old and once of the cheapest designs they made that season (anything designer puts the large obvious logos on only their cheapest items.)
 
Alan Roberts jokes about a troll psyop.
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Another (appropriately named) chaser appears!
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Can't believe I'm writing this, but God bless youtube comments; whoever suppose to moderate her comments are making the same effort as she does at podcasting.

ETA; “I am QUEER and my ex was ABUSIVE also I'm ANOREXIC do you hear me? I forgot AUDITORY SENSITIVITY somebody notice me I'm OPPRESSED METOO BLM STOPASIANHATE pls send keiks”
 
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AUDITORY SENSITIVITY
I'd say something like "Tess should be forced to spend one day with actual misophonia" but I doubt it would make a difference. Someone like her would feel no shame for things like being unable to stop yourself from "hating" the people you love, or for not being able to stop crying or having a panic attack over something other people can't even hear. She'd think it makes her special and "sensitive" or whatever.
 
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The internet created a word to explain this and Tess's entire aesthetic. Cheugy.
Further explanation for the boomers.
Tess isn’t cheugy. That would imply anything she does or wears was ever on trend at one point. Even expensive brand becomes rubbish the minute it gets put on Tess. She’s just a basic bitch.
 
I'd say something like "Tess should be forced to spend one day with actual misophonia" but I doubt it would make a difference. Someone like her would feel no shame for things like being unable to stop yourself from "hating" the people you love, or for not being able to stop crying or having a panic attack over something other people can't even hear. She'd think it makes her special and "sensitive" or whatever.
Damn. That is very accurate for misophonia. That cunt has so many “real” afflictions doesn’t she?
 
That cunt has so many “real” afflictions doesn’t she?
Anorexia, body image issues, self esteem problems, bullying trauma, sexual trauma, queer-bullying, domestic abuse trauma (mom shot), domestic abuse trauma (Nick mean), and the constant targeting and harassment.

So, so many afflictions to distract from her dewlap, toe splay and diabetes. :story:
 
Anorexia, body image issues, self esteem problems, bullying trauma, sexual trauma, queer-bullying, domestic abuse trauma (mom shot), domestic abuse trauma (Nick mean), and the constant targeting and harassment.

So, so many afflictions to distract from her dewlap, toe splay and diabetes. :story:
And yet simultaneously she's a brave, empowering, self-confidence queen who all women can look up to. Holliday is personally inspiring AND making the world a better place!
..
Can't we all just admit she's a modern day sideshow freak that's been gaslit into believing she's a hot supermodel and feminist hero, so that she may continue to agree to grace the front pages for the viewing pleasure of a gawking public?
 
She just posted this in follow-up to her "I'm the FAT sibling, the GAY sibling, and the MENTALLY ILL sibling" video:

Which reminded me that this isn't just a dumb TikTok trend and that she does have a brother, so let's all enjoy his review of her book again, shall we?
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