The Tenacious Unicorn Ranch / @TenaciousRanch / Steampunk Penny / Penellope Logue / Phillip Matthew Logue - Don't cry because it ended, laugh because it's still getting worse.

[ObeseScreamingBlackMan]

The Tranch went shopping
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Fat neckbeard food for fat neckbeards. I’m not seeing anything I didn’t expect.

 

[S.C.U.D.]

What got me is the frozen refried beans. These "ranchers" can't make refried beans on their own? They're paying for frozen refried beans? Who the fuck does that? Hey they're organic though.

An urbanite on a farm is still an urbanite.

 

[Miss Misery]

What got me is the frozen refried beans. These "ranchers" can't make refried beans on their own? They're paying for frozen refried beans? Who the fuck does that? Hey they're organic though.

Those are canned, you silly old man!

But I'm still horrified at the idea of 16 cans of refried beans...

Between those, their predilection for onions, and the neovaginas - every orifice must smell like death...

 

[Sleazy Car Salesman]

You can tell a lot about a person by what they buy at the grocery store. All this says to me is "can't cook/won't cook" and "bad with money/still longs for the comforts of the parental home".

 

[Nothing To See Here]

Okay, so I get the bags of frozen vegetables. Those are extremely practical if you don't want to make a billion trips. But honestly- getting big bags of staples like rice, flour (for making bread and tortillas), chips, potatoes etc., and then a mixture of tinned and freezable proteins (plus pulses etc. that you can rehydrate and therefore keep forever) would be so much more sensible than, say, buying two enormous boxes of spring rolls. Surely, say, a big thing of mashed potato with sausage and veggies, or a super basic onions-and-tinned-tomatoes-and-meat curry with rice and vegetables, would be more filling, more nutritious, and easier to make in bulk than what they have here??

Also lmao they bought a vacuum. That's never going to get used.

 

[Old Fart]

I miss the lady's hygiene products, tampons, bandages, you know, those things laydeez need every month.

 

[voidBits]

That Shark vacuum is widely inappropriate for their needs
Those Sharks are designed for already clean apartments and small houses

Mild pl but we've got that model, and whereas the suction and cleaning is superb, the dust reservoir is far too small
We've dogs as well but nothing like their fur rugs and the good suction is great for getting their hairs up
But if I've left the vacuuming even a short time, I'm having to empty it, and clean hair out the filters every couple of minutes
I wouldn't get another one

And them?
They live on a "working ranch" in a dust filled landscape with a pack of ungroomed double coated dogs, in a place a couple of notches away from being a super fund site
They need a shop vac at the very least, but a flammenwerfer would probably work best

 

[CMYKPrinter]

the tranch got an article in NPR, have we seen this yet?

 

[AprilRains]

the tranch got an article in NPR, have we seen this yet?

Yes.

 

[Ballsack Pussylips]

Okay, so I get the bags of frozen vegetables. Those are extremely practical if you don't want to make a billion trips.

Unless you live off grid with generators and (lately) solar as your powersource, which also have to provide for Kevs gaming rig, multiple tvs, laptops, phones, etc. They would be better off with dried or canned vegetables.
"You guys, you won't believe it, our generator blew again. Militia sabotage. Here's our GFM."

 

[KooksandFreaks]

Jokes aside, there a quality to the shopping here that reminds me of my own shopping when I first moved from home. I had limited cookery so what I could make were only simple things and frozen foods so my shopping kinda looked like a smaller version this. It might just be me trying to rationalize something I can't use logic on, but do the Tranchlings ever cook anything beyond simple dishes like browned ground beef or eggs?

It doesn’t seem like it. They post so many images of crappy burritos and burned scrambled eggs.

With that many mouths to feed, you’d think they’d wise up and start fixing soups and stews. Maybe casseroles or pasta dishes and curries. Turkeys, hams and other large roasts can be had fairly cheap and you can use the leftovers to make other dishes or sandwiches, at least.

I don’t think I’ve ever seen a single thing that looks like it came out of the oven in their brand new range. And don’t they ever cook outside on a grill? It feels like Penny(?) is the only one who shows any initiative in making meals and his repertoire is very limited.

 

[Questionable Ceviche]

All that shit packaged food goes to show how little 'cooking' is done at that place. It's all microwave shit and convenience prepackaged food that's more expensive per serving and requires stable electricity to keep from spoiling. There's no bags of flour, rice, potatoes, pasta or dried goods, whole cuts of meat, seeds, beans, or long-keeping produce like apples, squashes, or root vegetables. Buy a wide range of produce items and use them in the order they'll spoil first. They're buying food like what they are - lonely, incompetent city boys who have no wife or mother to make their meals.

The total lack of organized purchasing and household management shows how truly unconcerned about money they are. It's incredibly expensive and impractical to prepare meals like that for that many people. The stuff they're buying looks like people will just microwave whatever they want whenever they're hungry instead of having organized meal times that reduce labor and food waste. They'll scream Nazi and get more money whenever their plush toy and gun fund is running low.

 

[Gone Ham]

New baby that if some rich kiwi wants can pick the name

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[AnOminous]

The stuff they're buying looks like people will just microwave whatever they want whenever they're hungry instead of having organized meal times that reduce labor and food waste.

Can their solar power even sustain use of a microwave? Wouldn't Kevin's gaming rig die?

 

[Fetish Roulette]

New baby that if some rich kiwi wants can pick the name
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I, for one, am excited to welcome Cope and Seethe into the world. Don't starve too soon, little guys!

EDIT: I read some of that NPR article, and it led me to a local news site called the Sangre de Christo Sentinel, who republished some kind of tranch article. Here's the link and archive to it, but what I found especially interesting in the middle of the article (which was ass-kissing, as tranch articles tend to be) was this:

The tranch trained their firearms on local members of the community, and even these guys can't make it sound good. Woe is us- one or two unarmed right wing Nazis per day appear at the end of our driveway and look at the new neighbors!

Also, overcrowding your ranch so your livestock starve is "camp" now.

 

[voidBits]

Confirmation Jarrod is in the RV

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edit:
Ignoring the insufferable uWu language from a middle aged man
Small, Paul?
Nah, even time don't overshadow your gunt and ass bro

Link | Archive

 

[Kuritan Deplorable]

Confirmation Jarrod is in the RV
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"Fenced"

We're hitting levels of ramshackle that I wasn't expecting to see for quite a while.

 

[SeniorFuckFace]

Does this dirty troon ever change his fucking clothes, ffs?

 

[Barbarus]

New baby that if some rich kiwi wants can pick the name
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Joshua is a solid name

 

[break these cuffs]

"Fenced"

We're hitting levels of ramshackle that I wasn't expecting to see for quite a while.

I like how he needed volunteers to help him screw some pallets together.

Does this dirty troon ever change his fucking clothes, ffs?

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I wouldn't trust a farmer/rancher with clean pants. It means they aren't working. Farming is a dirty business and I was just on one today laughing about how yuppies would be horrified to see the farm their delicious organic fruits and veggies were coming from. You clean and sanitize the equipment and product, but it's a dirty game.

Fortunately we know in this instance that they're just a bunch of slobs and don't have a functioning farm/ranch.