How are you doing? - Kiwi Farms Wellness Check

Today the doctors confirmed my suspicion. The miscoloration in my skin is quite possibly melanoma and I'm going in for surgery next week. Nothing is confirmed but they said that this type of pigmentation is very unusual for people as young as I am. I might actually have cancer.

I knew hanging out on Kiwifarms was a bad idea.
 
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I'm not feeling particularly shitty today, but I'm still frustrated due to current events. I was recently asked by a company in my field if I wanted to come in and shadow their office for a day to see if I'm a good fit, which may potentially open up to shadowing more and more frequently if the boss likes me, but I can't schedule a day this week because my boss at my actual job is out, and time off requests are basically only verbal agreements until it shows up officially on my next paystub.

I just wanna escape the wagie life and put my shitty bachelor's degree to use again
 
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I no longer have to wear a mask at work.

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The massive catalpa across the street is raining dropped flowers everywhere while still loaded down with more above, the neighborhood smells like the tree too when the wind blows. (Catalpa are fragrant, they just don't gas the neighborhood unless you're downwind from it.)

It's nice, actually.
 
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JuanButNotForgotten said:
I've talked about this.
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Oh.

I've moved around a bit and helped w housework but I feel just as productive if I were to lay in bed all day except I'm 20x more tired because it takes the little energy I have. And then I'm up till 2 am feeling super fucking alone and want to cry but I know I'll be yelled at bc I've got parents who wake up at 4:45-5 am and I've woken them up enough with my phone being super loud trying to numb the alone feeling. No I can't get headphones, it's a fucking Iphone without the goddamn headphone jack
 
verygayFrogs said:
I've moved around a bit and helped w housework but I feel just as productive if I were to lay in bed all day except I'm 20x more tired because it takes the little energy I have.
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That's the paradox - the less energy you use, the less energy you have, even though it should be otherwise. When I was spending my days sitting on my ass, I was tired all the time and could sleep for 12 hours straight.

verygayFrogs said:
nd then I'm up till 2 am
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That's the wrong thing to do too. When you don't have a schedule, your body doesn't know when it can rest, so it doesn't rest properly.

verygayFrogs said:
feeling super fucking alone and want to cry
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Everyone is alone, you just need to learn to deal with it.
 
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