- Joined
- Mar 25, 2015
I wouldn't trust this guy with my math homework, let alone any serious paperwork.
StrikerWolf1 / Avery Binder - Moonfaced KKK Loving Babyfur
- Thread starter Cuck Norris
- Start date
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- Joined
- Aug 22, 2014
Yeah, there's no way in hell he would ever even be considered to be hired. He is functionally worthless at pretty much everything, let alone things that cops have to do.
- Joined
- Jun 27, 2014
Has anybody posted this wonderful conversation yet?
https://tweetsave.com/strikerwolf1/status/634544799509553152
@Surtur is fucking exactly the hero we deserve, and the hero we need right now.
- Joined
- Nov 28, 2014
That song sounds like what happens when you run your favorite MP3 through a crappy software that turns it into a MIDI.
Also the guy has a world of work ahead of him if he wants to get in shape to join the Marines.
- Joined
- May 30, 2014
Funfact. In NY at least, cops don't have to pass a physical fitness test after they graduate, only during the academy. By contrast school bus drivers have to take one every year and get a physical.
If his state is similar, and he could time skip the academy he could be a cop but not a bus driver, which is a good thing because of the whole pedo shit.
- Joined
- Jan 29, 2015
He lives in NY. Lido Beach to be exact.
- Joined
- May 30, 2014
- Joined
- Jun 3, 2014
He might be able to hire himself out as furniture.
I think with enough tranquilizers, he would make an excellent bean bag chair. He has that nice, perfectly round shape that would conform to the curvature of the human backside with only a little bit of pressure, but still support your spine so you don't get sore after.
And you'd never have to worry about him "poking" you in the back, because you'd never feel that little thing through all those layers of fat.
I think with enough tranquilizers, he would make an excellent bean bag chair. He has that nice, perfectly round shape that would conform to the curvature of the human backside with only a little bit of pressure, but still support your spine so you don't get sore after.
And you'd never have to worry about him "poking" you in the back, because you'd never feel that little thing through all those layers of fat.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2014
for all of you that are doubting the authenticity of this guy just remember that up until we saw Nick Bate's mugshot that there were a large contingent of kiwis who thought he was a ruseman.
Nick couldn't fake the rotting teeth; diaper wolf here can't fake the morbid obesity.
Nick couldn't fake the rotting teeth; diaper wolf here can't fake the morbid obesity.
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- Joined
- Jul 25, 2015
I was ok with this until I realised it's probably someone's fetish.
Besides, who wants furniture that shits itself?
...never thought I'd say those words in that order.
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2014
There was a guy who went to underground Brooklyn loft parties and would place a carpet/wood plank and laid in front of the bar so he would be a longish foot stool. He would be disguised so people would unwittingly stand on him when they went to order drinks. He would do this for hours on end and apparently got off on it. Since this was New York, I wouldn't put it past him to be from Long Island as well.
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2013
Well it does make a great fertilizer, despite the rancid smell.
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
- Joined
- Jan 11, 2014
It'd probably be a lot like those videos where they blow up the rotting carcass of a beached whale.
- Joined
- Feb 9, 2015
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2013
Oh shit you and him are on a first name basis how long you two been buddies?
- Joined
- Jul 27, 2014
The comedian Patton Oswald did a bit where he talked about being "B-Word Fat" where you are so fat that people don't even need to see you to know you were fat, just from how you pronounce words that start with the letter B. This guy is B-Word Fat. Holy shit, wow.
- Joined
- Feb 23, 2015
Crucial Danger Situation: FATTY HUNGRY!
Death > Hunger
Death > Hunger
- Joined
- May 18, 2014
Crucial Danger Situation: FATTY HUNGRY!
Death > Hunger
He could fast for weeks and not die.
- Joined
- Jul 6, 2015
Here's where I'll throw down some fucked up science. You know how you get a hangover, right? It's not from drinking too much alcohol but your body craving it...well the same thing can happen with over-eating and being overweight. His body has gotten so used to it's size and calorie consumption that it takes a massive amount of food in order to keep his body functioning. He'll get withdrawal headaches from sugar, his temperament will fluctuate violently and chances are he'll binge the first chance he gets thus undoing any positive improvements.
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