What are the Worst Movies of All Time? - The thread for discussing celluloid syphilis

[Cuck Shack]

American Beauty (1999)

Every time someone brings that movie up, I remember the praise it gets from simpletons. Why are so many redditors obsessed with that movie? It has a cult following over there. It looks deep to those impressed by puddles but that's how most of those "arty" movies are. Why this one in particular?

What's wrong with Saving Private Ryan? I saw it around the time it came out and thought it was decent. The cinematography was groundbreaking for the time and the plot was your standard grimdark horrors of war movie. It's overrated but I wouldn't put it on a worst movies list.

The worst movie I've seen in a few years was a shitty Sci-Fi movie called Zoo-Head. It's about a druggie who uses a futuristic and dangerous treatment to get clean. It could have been an interesting story but the pacing was slow, unimportant things were over explained, important things were glossed over, it took place in a dreary ghetto apartment, and the characters were boring and unlikeable. A lot of older bad movies have a campy charm to them. New bad movies are dead serious, which makes them worse.

 

[Regenbogen]

American History X is one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. I've wasted 2 hours with it and probably hundreds of braincells

on a serious note the truly worst movies I've probably ever seen were Jack and Jill or Sniper Special Ops/Killshot with Seagal. Though the issue with the Seagal ones is they almost enter "so bad it's good" territory.

 

[66andtwothirds]

American History X is one of the worst movies I've ever seen in my life. I've wasted 2 hours with it and probably hundreds of braincells

i think it's better viewed as a comedy for how epicly it fails at what it was trying to do.

 

[Jason Wynn]

Going Overboard is Adam Sandler’s first movie, and it’s so bad he’s disowned it and has tried to have it purged from his acting credits. I remember picking it up in one of those $5 dvd bins at Walmart having never heard of it before. I still feel ripped off. It’s not bad in a “let’s riff on it mst3k style” bad. It’s not bad in a guilty pleasure sense. I can’t even call it a bad as in “this is just a shitty movie some people might like for whatever reason” bad. It’s an awful movie that has nothing positive at all I can say about it. It’s on Tubi if you want to see for yourself

 

[Big Nasty]

So there's a twitch channel called Forgotten_vcr that streams mixtapes made of horrible z-tier films, usually from Hong Kong, resulting in hilarious sequences.

Here you can find some of the movies featured in his mixtapes. You will notice that almost everything is available on youtube and some of them have millions of views. Now that's my question: who is watching these godawful films? Who is supposed to feel nostalgic or even curious about some Godfrey Ho garbage Ninja schlock?

That shit was highly sought after by VHS collectors back in the day exactly because it was so crappy and obscure.

 

[Lensherr]

The remake of The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage is a boring slog of a film punctuated by moments of hilarity mainly as a result of Cage’s overacting:

 

[BrunoMattei]

The remake of The Wicker Man starring Nicolas Cage is a boring slog of a film punctuated by moments of hilarity mainly as a result of Cage’s overacting:

The not the bees scene was in only in the director's cut too. One of the rare occasions where the studio bosses made the right choice.

 

[The Token Ethnic]

Worst movie I ever paid for? Harmony Korine's "Trash Humpers" definitely is a top contender. A shitty shot on vhs abomination that has Korine, his wife and others wear old people masks while improvising anti-social acts in public and private. I should've been concerned when I saw the "NO REFUNDS" sign once I purchased tickets for the damn thing.

The A24 movie "It Comes At Night" is a close second.

 

[DyingStarsForever]

I remember thinking New Moon in the Twilight series was the worst movie I ever saw for a very long time, but it's been so long now that I can't remember anything about it.

Dear John starring Channing Tatum was really fucking bad though, I still remember that one. I thought it was one of those scripts that started out as an inside joke within the SAG about how many clichéd tear jerkers they could work into the same story and get it produced. Autism, flag waving, misunderstood brute, cute girl with horses, veterans dying... when it was revealed that Seyfried's new husband had cancer I actually started laughing out loud.

On Stranger Tides is the worst movie I've seen in a theater. I actually fell asleep after half an hour. Had it not been in a theater I wouldn't remember watching it.

 

[Lensherr]

The not the bees scene was in only in the director's cut too. One of the rare occasions where the studio bosses made the right choice.

That scene is one of the highlights (if not the highlight) of the movie.

 

[Radola Gajda]

Worst movie I saw so far Is Fateful Findings (2014).
Other shit movies (Turkish Star Wars, Titanic 2) atleast had coherent retarded plot I could mock and parody to have few laughs.
This one doesnt even have that.

 

[HumanHive]

Monster-a-Go-Go, the Dead Talk Back, and The Wild World of Batwoman take the cake.

 

[Kornula]

Appropriate for GNAA.

I like Gayniggers From Outerspace. The only complaint I have about it is the gay niggers from outerspace did very little gay nigger stuff ...like have gay nigger sex.

Anyway, if you have not heard of Godfrey Ho... GOOD. His movies are far worse than any Ed Wood movie. None of them make ANY FUCKING SENSE at all. Half his movies have "Ninja" thrown in the title to lure people in...and half the time, not one Ninja..or Ninja like person shows up. He shot footage of one or two movies. Bought someone else's movies.... edited and re re re edited everything together... slapped on a new "Ninja" title and had it distributed in theaters across the world.
"Bionic Ninja" is one of his rarest cases where actual Ninja's show up...AND a (somewhat) cohesive story... The best part is the main character, a white guy who wears a canary yellow jogging suit that has a big old shit stain on the back...that apparently no one in continuity nor the director noticed.

My roommate swears we both watched one of Godfry's worst movie: "Robo Ninja Vampires" ...non MST3K version at that.. and I cannot recall a single image from it.. nor do I wish to .

Then there is "Death Machines" (1976. Not to be confused with the 1983 version "Death Machine" ..note the singular) Anywhoo... "Death Machines" is my all time favorite bad movie. There are some hilarious and outright insane assassinations that boggle the mind; One assassination is done by the "Death Machines" (never fully explained why they are called that ever) drive onto a park, through the grass and everything, park right next to a picnic table... look at their targets..who somehow do not notice a big ass 1970s car driving up through the park, pull out a bazooka...and blast their targets to pieces. Then... one guy gets himself "trapped" in a phone booth.. Cannot manage to slide open the door when he finally notices a bulldozer about to run him over. It's like that one scene in Austin Powers where they have plenty of time to run away from a slow moving heavy machine..but don't.

And there is the wonderful cinematic world of Andy Milligan.... Look him up.. his movies are a shrine to hate.

The Star Wars sequel trilogy was some of my greatest waste of time ever. While the whole Star Wars universe suffers from plotholes, those three movies made them even worse. Watching them was like someone ate the old Star Wars trilogy, chewed it, swallowed, and then vomited it in the form of the sequels. Then this vomit was fed to us. A six-hour emetic regurgitation of the grossest degree.

 

[Idiotron]

Some of these titles that you guys mentioned:
- American Beauty
- Saving Private Ryan
- Midsommar
- American History X
You guys really need to drop by for a Kiwi Farms Movie Night.
Some of the shit we watch there will amaze you.

There's this movie.... well, it's more of crime against humanity... it's called Goodbye Uncle Tom and it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
You think stilted acting or pacing issues are bad?
When watching GUT, you will remember those things fondly by the time they roll out the naked children with their genitals spray painted gold.
One of the few movies I couldn't finish and I never will.
Don't even look it up, just know that there are dozens of naked children in it, that should be enough to prevent 99% of you from seeing it.

 

[BrunoMattei]

Some of these titles that you guys mentioned:
- American Beauty
- Saving Private Ryan
- Midsommar
- American History X
You guys really need to drop by for a Kiwi Farms Movie Night.
Some of the shit we watch there will amaze you.

There's this movie.... well, it's more of crime against humanity... it's called Goodbye Uncle Tom and it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
You think stilted acting or pacing issues are bad?
When watching GUT, you will remember those things fondly by the time they roll out the naked children with their genitals spray painted gold.
One of the few movies I couldn't finish and I never will.
Don't even look it up, just know that there are dozens of naked children in it, that should be enough to prevent 99% of you from seeing it.

I think it's just that this thread is attracting a lot of contrarian faggots.

 

[Mojo Thief]

You know the kind of films that try really hard to be so bad they're good? Like, Thankskilling?

Pot Zombies is so bad it careens right past "good" and over a cliff into the abyss.

I watched it with some friends because it was free on cable on-demand, and it's probably the only time I've ever felt ripped off by a free movie. For those of you who haven't seen it, Pot Zombies consists of a bunch of random scenes that are vaguely tied together to a zombie outbreak caused by tainted weed. One scene has a stoner interact with a fatass cop in a super-hokey outfit, where the cop just insults the stoner until the latter turns into a pot zombie. There's no comedic beat that times with this happening, just an awkward silence. Immediately afterwards, there's a scene where some Chris Angel-looking mf'er gets grabbed and strung up on hooks by pot zombies because he was the only person in the crew with a weird talent and they JUST HAD to show it off (pot zombies have munchies for human flesh, if you established that already, why did they just string him up on hooks instead of eating him?). Also, for every pot zombie transformation the filmmakers use After Effects to make the actors' eyes a shitty MS-Paint nuclear green.

Finally, there's a scene where two strippers start eating each other out until one turns into a pot zombie and literally eats her from the pussy upwards. Yes, this is basically the whole scene. No, the chicks aren't even hot. That's about where we dropped it. Not one of us laughed, even as we tried our best to riff it. It was just aggressively unfunny.

It's like a retard's take on an anthology film, only they spent all of the budget on shitty weed and probably never intended to make an anthology film in the first place.

 

[Kornula]

Some of these titles that you guys mentioned:
- American Beauty
- Saving Private Ryan
- Midsommar
- American History X
You guys really need to drop by for a Kiwi Farms Movie Night.
Some of the shit we watch there will amaze you.

There's this movie.... well, it's more of crime against humanity... it's called Goodbye Uncle Tom and it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
You think stilted acting or pacing issues are bad?
When watching GUT, you will remember those things fondly by the time they roll out the naked children with their genitals spray painted gold.
One of the few movies I couldn't finish and I never will.
Don't even look it up, just know that there are dozens of naked children in it, that should be enough to prevent 99% of you from seeing it.

wow

 

[The Fraggle Queen]

How I judge a bad movie is “would it make me want to walk out of the cinema?”
I’ve only ever considered walking out of the cinema 3 times. Mr Peabody and Sherman (went as a smaller Fraggle with other small humans), the weird ass Cloverfield Lane movie, and the newest Pet Sematary. All 3 bored me to tears.

 

[Ruin]

How I judge a bad movie is “would it make me want to walk out of the cinema?”
I’ve only ever considered walking out of the cinema 3 times. Mr Peabody and Sherman (went as a smaller Fraggle with other small humans), the weird ass Cloverfield Lane movie, and the newest Pet Sematary. All 3 bored me to tears.

I've done it twice. Once during Epic Movie and once during one of the Jackals movies.

 

[Flaming Carrot]

Some of these titles that you guys mentioned:
- American Beauty
- Saving Private Ryan
- Midsommar
- American History X
You guys really need to drop by for a Kiwi Farms Movie Night.
Some of the shit we watch there will amaze you.

There's this movie.... well, it's more of crime against humanity... it's called Goodbye Uncle Tom and it's the most disgusting thing I've ever seen.
You think stilted acting or pacing issues are bad?
When watching GUT, you will remember those things fondly by the time they roll out the naked children with their genitals spray painted gold.
One of the few movies I couldn't finish and I never will.
Don't even look it up, just know that there are dozens of naked children in it, that should be enough to prevent 99% of you from seeing it.

Goodbye Uncle Tom is what you would kid if Louis Farrakhan and David Duke collaborated on a movie. It is absolutely bizarre, although it was intended to deflect charge of racism against the racism, who took a lot of flak for their previous movie, Goodbye, Africa.

Worst movies I've ever seen outside of MST3K or something like that -

The original screenplay was a straightforward horror movie that got rewritten into a comedy. I saw it for free and I was still angry after having watched it.

Supernova had massive amounts of studio interference that resulted in it being released in a January two years after it was filmed . a friend suggested we go see it because it would be funny to laugh at. It was not.

Just plain garbage.