Have you made any other life-altering spur of the moment decisions like deciding you were trans and transitioning over the course of two weeks?
I decided to post here didn't I :-)
Also it was through months and months, arguably years of self denial while still browsing trans forums and guides for years and learning about transitioning (totally just out of curiosity I swear!). I felt more and more drawn to them as the realization slowly dawned on me: "this is going to be sooooo expensive."
I knew after finally dressing up that this was who I am. I didn't mean to break up after two weeks of announcing it but I had gotten this ultimatum where I could dress up to help me decide but if the answer was yes, my fiancee and I were over. I soul searched and decided that I would never be able to make a valid decision under that kind of pressure and my experimentation was leading to her over taking her anti-anxiety drugs so I made the most painful decision and left that morning. It breaks my heart just to think about, those first few months hurt.
Incidentally, I only lived in "the tranny shack" for a month or so before I decided that the couple I was living with was poison. They lived on land owned by one of their parents who was not cool at all with LGBT people and spotted me in girl mode and because I couldn't pass and didn't have enough clothes to go full time there were all these bullshit restrictions and threats. It was a bad neighborhood full of rednecks.
Also there was no fridge that I had access to, I wasn't allowed in the house, couldn't use my electronics during the day and they took advantage of me financially, making me take them out to eat all the time. I also had to drive them every where, at odd hours of the night. I resolved to finally just move back in with my parents. Over that month my parents had come around and didn't want to see me living in those conditions anyway.
My parent's biggest concern was understandable, North Florida is a conservative area and they were worried about violence. They also were worried about me losing my job because they couldn't support me. I was worried about those things to. I wanted to have a job of my own and not be supported by them. I liked my job, I was a special ed teacher who worked with students with severe behavior problems, I thought I was really helping my students get a second chance. I wasn't going to transition at work for the first year back. I stayed "part time" as a woman, going to work in boy mode.
