- Joined
- Jan 21, 2015
Judge Turpin from Sweeney Todd is, I think, another one for the loveshy horrorcow category. Possibly Mrs. Lovett as well. For a more traditional lolcow, there's Pirelli.
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Lolcows in Fiction (Books, TV, Movies, etc.)
- Thread starter DavidFerrie
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2015
Drawn Together is a show filled with horrorcows, though the one who stands out most to me is Captain Hero. He's a pedophile and a bestiality enthusiast (among other things, there's a running gag that he wants a 12 year old girl and a donkey), routinely murders people (including hurling his home planet into their sun because they called him "lame"), is an absolute coward of a superhero (one of his catchphrases is "save yourselves," before flying away from danger and leaving those around him to their fate) and, in a parody of Superman's "memory-erasing kiss" power seen in the movies, he erases people's memories by raping them. Two people he does this to are his own parents.
Toot Braunstein wouldn't be out of place on Tumblr. She's overweight, has a plethora of mental problems, abuses drugs and alcohol, and cuts herself.
Foxxy's son Ray-Ray who only appeared in one episode would probably count as a horrorcow too. He lives inside the walls of the house and is obsessively in love with Toot. One of his loving gestures is to cut off Princess Clara's scalp and staple it to Toot's head because Toot was jealous of Clara's hair.
Those were only three examples, but almost every character is one. The only main cast members who don't really have any horrorcow tendencies are Foxxy, Xandir (though he's got some regular lolcow moments), and Ling-Ling (he kills people, but I give him a pass because he's a "battle monster" and killing's in his nature). Drawn Together is basically Horrorcow: The TV Show.
Toot Braunstein wouldn't be out of place on Tumblr. She's overweight, has a plethora of mental problems, abuses drugs and alcohol, and cuts herself.
Foxxy's son Ray-Ray who only appeared in one episode would probably count as a horrorcow too. He lives inside the walls of the house and is obsessively in love with Toot. One of his loving gestures is to cut off Princess Clara's scalp and staple it to Toot's head because Toot was jealous of Clara's hair.
Those were only three examples, but almost every character is one. The only main cast members who don't really have any horrorcow tendencies are Foxxy, Xandir (though he's got some regular lolcow moments), and Ling-Ling (he kills people, but I give him a pass because he's a "battle monster" and killing's in his nature). Drawn Together is basically Horrorcow: The TV Show.
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- Joined
- Apr 2, 2014
Bob Fossil from the Mighty Boosh
All the characters in Little Britain
All the characters in Little Britain
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2015
I dunno if this would count as "fiction" because it's supposed to be a reality show (though sometimes it seems a bit staged), but a lot of the people on Catfish: The TV Show are lolcows.
- Joined
- Mar 11, 2015
Charles Botkin/Kinbote from Pale Fire.
He's obsessed with a country that exists only in his mind, his crushing loneliness drives his character, he causes trouble for several other people over the course of the novel. Since he narrates it, he constantly tries to make excuses for himself and tlak himself up.
He's obsessed with a country that exists only in his mind, his crushing loneliness drives his character, he causes trouble for several other people over the course of the novel. Since he narrates it, he constantly tries to make excuses for himself and tlak himself up.
Arcanineinchnails
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2015
I think Quess Paraya from Gundam count as her description from the Wikia put:
Quess is selfish, stubborn, emotionally sensitive, sociopathic, intelligent, manipulative charmer, naive, and love obsessed.
Actually Gundam UC is full of them, Amuro, Kamille, Hathaway, Katz, Riddhe, etc.
Quess is selfish, stubborn, emotionally sensitive, sociopathic, intelligent, manipulative charmer, naive, and love obsessed.
Actually Gundam UC is full of them, Amuro, Kamille, Hathaway, Katz, Riddhe, etc.
- Joined
- Apr 27, 2015
I feel like Daru from Steins;gate would be a borderline halal Kiwi, and Okarin would be the crazy friend he regularly posts about in the Personal Lolcows thread.
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Gundam is a franchise where EVERY SINGLE CHARACTER has at least one lolcow moment. Even Bright Noah, probably the sanest man in the entire franchise, even he was a whiny bitch that refused to accept his responsibilities until his best friend died, then he shed any lolcowdom and became one of the few consistently sane cast members.
A lot of the series movies and re-releases often feature changes that shave off some of the most idiotic moments. A huge amount of the Gundam videogames that deal in what-if scenarios and the Super Robot Wars series make sure a lot of those lolcow moments either get appropriately called out and addressed or allows the player to change history so the characters never become lolcows.
Arcanineinchnails
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 7, 2015
Other thing about the Gundam franchise is that is not nice with it cows, they either suffer a big trauma that force them to grow up or they die. Also Char is one of the biggest cows since the true reason for wanting to nuke the earth was because he was still butthurt at Amuro for the chick who died years ago(and who he was in love with despite her being younger)
- Joined
- Oct 20, 2014
Starscream is basically Jace, if Jace were a 40-foot tall robot that turned into a jetplane.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2015
Harvester is a game full of horrorcows.
Mr. Pottsdam is the father of the player character, Steve's girlfriend, Stephanie. He's a fat, lazy man who sits on his sweat-stained couch all day and has an obsession with red meat. Literally. He can't go ten seconds without mentioning meat. The only reason he's marrying Stephanie off to Steve is so that he can get a job at Steve's father's slaughterhouse and have access to all the meat he wants. He has a peephole in the bathroom, which he uses to spy on Stephanie (his own daughter) while she gets undressed, and he masturbates to her while he does so. He also kidnaps Karen, an 8-year-old girl, and molests her before burying her alive and leaving her to die (whether or not she survives depends on how quickly the player finds her). Finally, he lets the lodge people into his house to kidnap Stephanie so that he can get an invitation to the lodge, and he tries to kill Steve when he sees him there.
Mr. Johnson is an old man who's obsessed with Edna Fitzpatrick, the owner of the diner in the game. He doesn't do much besides sit in his driveway, but everything he says is repulsive. He's heavily implied to have stalked Edna until the Sheriff began coming into the diner regularly, and goes on and on about how she needs "a good hard penis." He'd be right at home on a site like Sluthate or Lookism.
Steve's mom is an extremely violent S&M dom who horrifically mutilates her husband every night. Catching her in the act causes her to blow your head off with a shotgun.
Daniel Moynahan, the town's mortician, is a serial killer who murders homeless people who wander into the town and then buries them. In addition to the mortuary, he also owns the town hotel, and it's all but stated that he murders all his guests.
The firemen are closer to lolcows than horrorcows. They're all flamboyantly gay and are too preoccupied with drawing nude men (poorly) to actually do any firefighting.
Mr. Pottsdam is the father of the player character, Steve's girlfriend, Stephanie. He's a fat, lazy man who sits on his sweat-stained couch all day and has an obsession with red meat. Literally. He can't go ten seconds without mentioning meat. The only reason he's marrying Stephanie off to Steve is so that he can get a job at Steve's father's slaughterhouse and have access to all the meat he wants. He has a peephole in the bathroom, which he uses to spy on Stephanie (his own daughter) while she gets undressed, and he masturbates to her while he does so. He also kidnaps Karen, an 8-year-old girl, and molests her before burying her alive and leaving her to die (whether or not she survives depends on how quickly the player finds her). Finally, he lets the lodge people into his house to kidnap Stephanie so that he can get an invitation to the lodge, and he tries to kill Steve when he sees him there.
Mr. Johnson is an old man who's obsessed with Edna Fitzpatrick, the owner of the diner in the game. He doesn't do much besides sit in his driveway, but everything he says is repulsive. He's heavily implied to have stalked Edna until the Sheriff began coming into the diner regularly, and goes on and on about how she needs "a good hard penis." He'd be right at home on a site like Sluthate or Lookism.
Steve's mom is an extremely violent S&M dom who horrifically mutilates her husband every night. Catching her in the act causes her to blow your head off with a shotgun.
Daniel Moynahan, the town's mortician, is a serial killer who murders homeless people who wander into the town and then buries them. In addition to the mortuary, he also owns the town hotel, and it's all but stated that he murders all his guests.
The firemen are closer to lolcows than horrorcows. They're all flamboyantly gay and are too preoccupied with drawing nude men (poorly) to actually do any firefighting.
- Joined
- Apr 11, 2014
Hmmm....I could have sworn somebody had already mentioned Falstaff. Huge lardass who's convinced he is God's gift to English women. Filthy fucker, too.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2015
Stephie from Assigned Male.
Also, most of the characters from Married...With Children could be considered lolcows to varying degrees. Al Bundy is a huge loser with no social skills. Peg is a selfish shrew who leeches off of Al. Bud's a loser like Al, and a recurring joke in the show is the fact that he uses sex dolls because of his inability to get a date. Kelly is a full-on exceptional individual who is illiterate despite being an adult woman, thinks cartoons are real, and sleeps with dozens of men because of her daddy issues. Jefferson, one of the neighbors, is basically a male version of Peg, and his wife Marcy is a proto-tumblrina who mostly supports causes either to feel morally superior, or to annoy/spite Al, rather than because it's something she believes in.
Also, most of the characters from Married...With Children could be considered lolcows to varying degrees. Al Bundy is a huge loser with no social skills. Peg is a selfish shrew who leeches off of Al. Bud's a loser like Al, and a recurring joke in the show is the fact that he uses sex dolls because of his inability to get a date. Kelly is a full-on exceptional individual who is illiterate despite being an adult woman, thinks cartoons are real, and sleeps with dozens of men because of her daddy issues. Jefferson, one of the neighbors, is basically a male version of Peg, and his wife Marcy is a proto-tumblrina who mostly supports causes either to feel morally superior, or to annoy/spite Al, rather than because it's something she believes in.
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- Joined
- Dec 23, 2013
To be honest, a lot of Tomino's characters are lolcowish if only because of how ridiculous the names get.
Like Shot Weapon.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2015
Napoleon Dynamite has Kip, Uncle Rico, and Napoleon himself.
Kip's an unemployed 32-year-old manchild who spends most of his time chatting with women online, and wants to be an MMA cage fighter even though he sucks at fighting and is a scrawny weakling.
Uncle Rico is a failed football player who is so obsessed with his supposed "missed opportunity" (if I remember correctly, he never really had the opportunity in the first place) that he bought a time machine online which, needless to say, didn't work. He spends his days making videos of himself throwing footballs, and coming up with shady get-rich-quick schemes.
Napoleon is a social outcast at his school who nonetheless thinks very highly of himself. He makes up stories about himself, like that he spent the summer fighting wolverines, and thinks he's a talented artist even though he sucks.
All three of them get happy endings, actually. Kip meets up with his online girlfriend and they get married, Rico gets his ass kicked, but still ends up with a girlfriend, and Napoleon helps Pedro become class president and becomes popular at school.
Kip's an unemployed 32-year-old manchild who spends most of his time chatting with women online, and wants to be an MMA cage fighter even though he sucks at fighting and is a scrawny weakling.
Uncle Rico is a failed football player who is so obsessed with his supposed "missed opportunity" (if I remember correctly, he never really had the opportunity in the first place) that he bought a time machine online which, needless to say, didn't work. He spends his days making videos of himself throwing footballs, and coming up with shady get-rich-quick schemes.
Napoleon is a social outcast at his school who nonetheless thinks very highly of himself. He makes up stories about himself, like that he spent the summer fighting wolverines, and thinks he's a talented artist even though he sucks.
All three of them get happy endings, actually. Kip meets up with his online girlfriend and they get married, Rico gets his ass kicked, but still ends up with a girlfriend, and Napoleon helps Pedro become class president and becomes popular at school.
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- Joined
- May 8, 2015
Forgot to mention this (Because I literally forgot about this until just now) but in the prequel novel, Cohen also makes a teenage boy fuck an octopus. What a lovely mixture of both a lolcow and a horrorcow.
- Joined
- Feb 24, 2015
Johnny Bravo. He's unemployed and living with his mother, extremely stupid, incompetent at everything he tries to be good at like karate (more so in the seasons without the creator; in the first season he was reasonably intelligent), narcissistic, and like most lolcows he's on his own love quest.
MentallyIllTeddyBears
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Oct 1, 2015
Vivienne Medrano's webcomic Zoophobia has some lolcow candidates:
*Horus - Barges into a high school he doesn't even attend to act like a supervillain and use his wind powers to "terrorize" the students. His profile states "A self-proclaimed megalomaniac, he considers himself the baddest of the bad (and makes sure everyone knows it), but he's really nothing more than a pest who has a habit of popping up in places he's most unwelcome."
*Leonardo - AKA Lenny AKA Leo. Although he's one of my favorite characters in the comic and pure adorable in my opinion, he pretty much qualifies as one. For starters, he's got a messed up eye, bad teeth and a dorky-looking bowtie. He also has a weird obsession with explosives and loudly exclaims how hot Damian's nanny is.
*Daphne - She hasn't had much actual dialogue in the comic itself yet but from her profile, she sounds like a man-hating SJW feminist loudmouth.
*Styx - He's basically the Zoophobia version of Lemongrab.
*Spam - Licks random people, acts extremely childlike in general, shown sucking on a rock for no apparent reason on an early profile pic.
*Mackenzie - Basically, acts like a cat and has cats living inside of her abnormally long hair. Kinda like a teenage version of a crazy cat lady. Was originally male and named Afkinz before being retconned to female.
*Horus - Barges into a high school he doesn't even attend to act like a supervillain and use his wind powers to "terrorize" the students. His profile states "A self-proclaimed megalomaniac, he considers himself the baddest of the bad (and makes sure everyone knows it), but he's really nothing more than a pest who has a habit of popping up in places he's most unwelcome."
*Leonardo - AKA Lenny AKA Leo. Although he's one of my favorite characters in the comic and pure adorable in my opinion, he pretty much qualifies as one. For starters, he's got a messed up eye, bad teeth and a dorky-looking bowtie. He also has a weird obsession with explosives and loudly exclaims how hot Damian's nanny is.
*Daphne - She hasn't had much actual dialogue in the comic itself yet but from her profile, she sounds like a man-hating SJW feminist loudmouth.
*Styx - He's basically the Zoophobia version of Lemongrab.
*Spam - Licks random people, acts extremely childlike in general, shown sucking on a rock for no apparent reason on an early profile pic.
*Mackenzie - Basically, acts like a cat and has cats living inside of her abnormally long hair. Kinda like a teenage version of a crazy cat lady. Was originally male and named Afkinz before being retconned to female.
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2014
Marcy would be so at home with today's SJW culture.
GiantSpiderInvasion
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 6, 2015
George Costanza from Seinfeld is like an anti-lolcow. He's physically and personally repulsive, a balding, stocky, neurotic, selfish, failure living at home in his 30's... Yet, despite all this, he dates several attractive women over the course of the series, and at one point works for a national baseball team. He also manages to get the better of some people, before his schemes or terrible personality blow up in his face.