Chris has been arrested

[Blanche]

Having looked into American witchcraft trials and traditions, Chris would likely be one of the accusers of his neighbors for witchcraft on incredibly shakey grounds. There’s some really fun charges that witches fell victim to, from bewitching pigs to break down a fence, murder, suckling demons in the middle of a sermon in church, causing storms, causing illnesses, and my personal favorite, levitating people. Some of these witchcraft trials could get really interesting where everyone just gangs up on their poor, foul mouthed neighbor and tries to convince the authorities they’re a witch. It didn’t always go somewhere but there’s some really funny incidents regarding a woman who was tried for witchcraft 17 or so times and was never convicted. The townsfolk then tried to lynch the woman, and failed. Why? They only hung her until she passed out, and the cold weather made them think she was dead because she didn’t feel warm to the touch. She went on to live for another 15+ years after this narrow escape.

The question is: would Chris have been hanged, pressed, or tossed in a river?

 

[Butch Manley]

Cole has locked down his Twitter for replies. Be a shame if someone connected him to Chris. Then again, he'd probably get more clicks riding Chris' dirty, crapped coattails than he ever will on the merits of his own estimable insights into cinema.

Coles Twitter was full of Tweets about Chris, until he was arrested, then they were all disappeared. I guess Cole would count as next of kin? Perhaps the police have been in contact with him.

 

[pedoguyguykrai]

The question is: would Chris have been hanged, pressed, or tossed in a river?

probably hanged or pressed.

 

[Tranny blaster 6]

Looks like they took both plates

 

[Shanndog]

I still feel like he's going to weasel his way out of a sentence somehow.

god i hope not, he needs to, for once in his life, face actual real consequences for his actions! that is part of why hew is how he is, he has never faced consequences or had to accept any self responsibility

>barb's been added to the list of sweethearts on the wiki

Bless whichever one of you glorious bastards did this. My fucking sides.

lmao oh my god !
* ( laughing and cringing at the same time )

 

[Anal birth]

If you're gonna talk about what Prison is like could you preface any posts with evidence that you have been to prison or worked in the system? Because otherwise your post is gay, stupid, meaningless, and based on tv/films/books/podcasts

 

[Markorian]

Bob is one of the most interesting characters in this anime.

The wiki says it appears he has treated Chris better than his first two children, and his relationship with those two were strained (only one came to his funeral), but I don't think there's any concrete evidence as to why or what exactly he did to his previous children. Cole hated Bob because of his "bitterness" and "abusive behavior" he thought caused a rift between Cole and Barbara, but then he also said Barbara was abusive and a shitty mother regardless. Plus, it also seems Cole's dislike of Bob as an adult is also fueled by the fact Bob was a mildly-religious Republican and Cole is a pompous lefty atheist.

Bob is also known for his insistence that Chris not be put in special-ed, which is often called an "old belief" more or less, but I don't fully agree with that term because parents still do that today and an actual old belief would be putting your retarded children in a home or shielding them from the outside entirely.

Yeah, Bob always seemed like a decent guy. Not the best parent, but lord almighty, when you put him next to Barb, he seemed downright saintly by comparison. His two biggest mistakes in raising Chris Chan were not sending Chris to a special ed school, which I fully believe was a decision he THOUGHT was in Chris's best interest, and is a case of him being an old fuck who's a bit out of touch with how the world works compared to when he was a kid, and the fact he took a more hands-off approach when it came to letting Barb coddle Chris. If I had to pick a 3rd, he was too willing to take Chris at his word when Chris said the world was out to get him and persecuting him.

While Bob never really understood Chris or his passions, he never let that stop him from trying to bond with him, even if that often took the form of just sharing things he was into. I wouldn't be surprised if it turned out he had a very mild form of autism. One thing that bugged me for quite a few years was the fact that Cole was treated as a reliable source of information, and not a dumbass borderline cow in his own right. 90% of hostility towards Bob always seemed to either come from dumbasses who took his word as gospel and especially in the troon years, white knight orbiters who blamed Bob for any un-pc thing Chris has ever said.

All in all, a very flawed man who made a lot of mistakes over his life, but also a seemingly earnest one who didn't deserve THIS.

 

[Shanndog]

There’s some pretty good stuff on YouTube. They’re also the reason Spam mail is called Spam mail. That being said, Chris also watches I Love Lucy and I have cousins that have never heard of it.

i used to watch i love Lucy, i grew up on all those older shows and enjoyed them very much, but that was not my only entertainment or outlet , unlike Chris, who's entire world was TV, the internet, school and the chandler house of chaos and filth.

 

[Techpriest]

The question is: would Chris have been hanged, pressed, or tossed in a river?

Well, the first thing that would be done is that Chris would be stripped and prodded with sticks or pointy rods of metal, looking for odd marks or parts of the body that didn’t bleed or bruise from a hard poking. Any kind of physical deformity would be considered suspect and potential evidence of a “witches teat” where a familiar would suckle at to feed. There was a real obsession with the familiar, which was essentially some kind of demonic animal.

Otherwise, you’d have a few different trials, some of which are more famous than others. The “dunking” trial was essentially a way for the community in the America’s to just get rid of someone they didn’t like, as unlike in Europe they decided that tossing someone in a river with their hands tied behind their back was more efficient than setting up a chair or a rope to fish someone out of the water. If they lived they’re a witch as the waters of baptism has rejected them. If they drown they’re innocent but hey they’re dead so problem solved. There’s also testimony from people in the community. Sometimes there’s spectral evidence, sometimes there isn’t. Usually though, the way to kill a witch is by hanging them from the nearest suitable tree. Pressing was more to extract confessions.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

The witchcraft hysteria didn’t really pick up until after the Puritans got into power following the Parlimentarian victory in the Civil War. James I of England and VI of Scotland though was a big believer in witchcraft and was the one who really pushed the death penalty as the punishment for witchcraft because he, I shit you not, blamed witches for the bad weather on his journey to Denmark to pick up his wife to be, and for the bad weather that delayed his journey back. James was a bit of a strange dude.

EDIT: The pilgrims in American history have been white washed to hell and back. The Puritan movement in England was one of the most radical of the entire Reformation, essentially attempting to strip the entire faith of anything possibly linked to Catholicism. And killing anyone who wasn’t as fanatical about this as they were. Witchcraft paranoia skyrocketed among them as they saw enemies everywhere and obviously being good pious folk the only people that could EVER be against them and their beliefs were witches in service to the devil himself. The witchcraft hysteria spread around Europe too, but really the Puritans were some of the most intense about it, and among the quickest to use it against political enemies, like more moderate Anglican’s, Catholics, and anyone who didn’t speak English perfectly. It’s a bit nuts.

This. They also banned anything vaguely fun and had a habit of christening their children with so-called "hortatory" names like Kill-sin, Fly-fornication, Search-the-Scriptures, and Praise-God Barebones. The latter of whom had a son called Nicholas If-Christ-hadst-not-died-thou-wouldst-have-been-damned Barbon. Who became an insurance entrepreneur.

Anyhow. It made the Metro, and predictably some unfunny weens are posting JULAY in the comments. Yay.

https://metro.co.uk/2021/08/03/youtuber-chris-chan-arrested-on-suspicion-of-incest-15032477/

 

[Divine right to rule]

Looks like they took both plates

The cops, or trophy hunters?

 

[Shanndog]

Bob is one of the most interesting characters in this anime.

The wiki says it appears he has treated Chris better than his first two children, and his relationship with those two were strained (only one came to his funeral), but I don't think there's any concrete evidence as to why or what exactly he did to his previous children. Cole hated Bob because of his "bitterness" and "abusive behavior" he thought caused a rift between Cole and Barbara, but then he also said Barbara was abusive and a shitty mother regardless. Plus, it also seems Cole's dislike of Bob as an adult is also fueled by the fact Bob was a mildly-religious Republican and Cole is a pompous lefty atheist.

Bob is also known for his insistence that Chris not be put in special-ed, which is often called an "old belief" more or less, but I don't fully agree with that term because parents still do that today and an actual old belief would be putting your retarded children in a home or shielding them from the outside entirely.

in a lot of ways, bob and barb DID shield Chris from the world, they did not really encourage or help him set and go after real goals, they were known for feeding and enabling his delusions from early on, by paying and bribing folks to include him, befriend him, pay and bribe teachers / staff to pass him along in school and so on, giving Chris a lifetime of illusion, never really experiencing real world, this kind of thing added into the fact that they always manipulated things and wiggled Chris out of trouble shielding / exempting him from having to , once again, face any real responsibilities, self accountability, or consequences good or bad, in life.. this is all forms of shielding from the outside world, and he did largely stay mostly within his house and school, very limiting in ways of a healthy productive life / experiences.

 

[Tranny blaster 6]

The cops, or trophy hunters?

Trophy hunters most likely considering last night one was posted on 4 Chan

 

[ToeNailClippings]

I predict that the notoriety surrounding this case will be the final straw for the owners of the Sanic and Pokeman franchises, who will send Chris a "cease and desist" letter, causing him to hang himself in his cell with his DIRTY, CRAPPED PRISON ISSUE BRIEFS.

The Pokemon Company might, but dunno about Sega. Sonichu is canon after all.

 

[Techpriest]

This. They also banned anything vaguely fun and had a habit of christening their children with so-called "hortatory" names like Kill-sin, Fly-fornication, Search-the-Scriptures, and Praise-God Barebones. The latter of whom had a son called Nicholas If-Christ-hadst-not-died-thou-wouldst-have-been-damned Barbon. Who became an insurance entrepreneur.

Anyhow. It made the Metro, and predictably some unfunny weens are posting JULAY in the comments. Yay.

https://metro.co.uk/2021/08/03/youtuber-chris-chan-arrested-on-suspicion-of-incest-15032477/

Puritan Lolcows would be amusing as hell.

How long before this hits the NY Post?

 

[TheTourist]

Trophy hunters most likely considering last night one was posted on 4 Chan

imagine bringing a girl back to your place and then casually explaining why you have that license plate nailed to your wall.

 

[Josterman]

another insider article

Kiwi Farms, the forum that has been linked to 3 suicides, was made to troll Chris Chan years before she was arrested on an incest charge

Kiwi Farms originated as a forum dedicated to Chris Chan — who was arrested Sunday on an incest charge — before the site rebranded in 2015.

www.insider.com

and some ordinary gamers video

 

[JoyfulDarter]

The cops, or trophy hunters?

Last night someone on /b/ posted one plate, but there's no way to tell if they took both plates or if someone else got the other one. There was also some arguments about Virginia only requiring a single plate so I don't know if he only had one plate or what.

 

[ContinentalButterchip]

All in all, a very flawed man who made a lot of mistakes over his life, but also a seemingly earnest one who didn't deserve THIS.

Have to say you're a litte generous here, perhaps my memory is mistaken, but didn't all his other children go out of their way to never see him? He may not have directly contributed, but at the very least he was indifferent to Barb withholding information about Cole's biological father. I'd agree that he was less actively malicious but even if he was at least a functional, successfuly human being unlike the rest of his kin, he was a totally inept parent.

 

[Ginger Piglet]

Can anyone do a rewording of Ian Dury's "Billericay Dickie" about the twists and turns in Chris's love quest at all?

So you ask Barb and Julay
Who's their lover trulay
I'm nothing less than pristine
My given name is Christine
And I'm doing, very well!