Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

[AnOminous]

It's not Uber Eats fault that Jake is too lazy and paranoid to leave his hovel to get his own tendies in person, nor is it anyone's fault but his own that he's too greedy for tendies to look at the billing breakdown the app shows before finalizing the order.

Also he needs to lose weight anyway. Maybe quit eating tendies you fucking lardass, and walk to the fucking grocery store.

Oh no but it's a huge walk to that food co-op, right? Certainly well above the skills of our disabled femme, to walk from 35 Union St. to 13 Broad St.

Oh. . .yeah.

God what a useless fat fuck.

Yeah he definitely needs to be buying $40 tendies.

God I hope his mother never gets dementia.

I hope she does so she is finally free of the shame of knowing she birthed this pathetic failure.

 

[Smaug's Smokey Hole]

edit: bah, took to long.

Just look at this shit! We know exactly where he lives,(corner on the bottom).

He even lives on a chinese takeaway place! He's got indian, chinese, thai, Dutch(???) and if he walks juuuust out of the top of that screenshot, 20 meters more, there's a a Mexican place.

It gets better, he lives in the most dense area of restaurants and takeway places in the city.


From Wing'n'Pies you can even see his front door and they sell tendies (2lbs for $24.99) in addition to burgers, grinders, pizza... That's a two minute walk that saves him 18 bucks in fees.




What a miserable little liar he is.

 

[Kosher Dill]

That's the kind of place Jake's area of Connecticut is - even a random tendie joint goes out of their way to put up an "LGBTQ friendly" sticker. Niantic is much the same. His Anne Frank narrative is ridiculous to anyone who's so much as driven through his hometowns.

 

[Tragi-Chan]

View attachment 2428742[

“Some random Nazi actually shouted at me” = Hi Jake! If you’re enjoying your thread, consider making an account so you can contribute directly.

 

[gooseberry-picker]

T

Also he needs to lose weight anyway. Maybe quit eating tendies you fucking lardass, and walk to the fucking grocery store.
View attachment 2430132
Oh no but it's a huge walk to that food co-op, right? Certainly well above the skills of our disabled femme, to walk from 35 Union St. to 13 Broad St.
View attachment 2430138
Oh. . .yeah.

God what a useless fat fuck.

Yeah he definitely needs to be buying $40 tendies.

I hope she does so she is finally free of the shame of knowing she birthed this pathetic failure.

The NSA Supermarket sounds lit, not gonna lie.

 

[Water-T]

Oh no but it's a huge walk to that food co-op, right? Certainly well above the skills of our disabled femme, to walk from 35 Union St. to 13 Broad St.

But if Jake walks out his door, he'll be raped by the lesbian gangs swarming CT, and then Jesse Singal's ninja assassins will murder him! So it's necessary for him to pay $40 for 4 tendies!

 

[aquariumwater]

There was some speculation that now that he's responsible for feeding himself, Jake can't possibly still be as fat as we've seen in previous pictures. Going by his most recent pics, I think he's continually getting fatter.

If we look at one of his GaymerX pics, you can see that even through the beard, his double chin doesn't appear to be quite as pendulous as it is post-shave.



I think Kiwis were estimating Jake's weight to be ~330lbs so I looked at some height/weight visualizing sites.
This guy is 6'3' and 320

Which does seem close enough to Jake's body, until you look at the legs. Dudes don't generally get fat legs until they balloon up to true planet size. Fortunately Jake couldn't stop himself from showing off his tranny socks, and it would seem that he's got a set of laygs, which makes me think Jake must certainly dwarf even this hefty dude.



We all know about Jake's voluptuous 54D breasts, so I went to Lane Bryant's website to see what size that translates into and looked for a height/weight model wearing that size.


Coincidentally, that site had a photo of a 6'3" woman who weighs 250lb.

Which seems like a weight at which a surgical patient could finally care for their own man cave.
Seems like a fair assumption that Jake weighs 400lb and his surgeon told him he had to lose 150lb in order to safely qualify for any procedures.

This would also satisfy Jake's peculiar pattern of lying:
The surgeon told him "In order to qualify for surgery you have to weigh 150 pounds less than you do now."
Jake, technically telling the truth: "The surgeon told me 'You have to weigh 150 pounds'!"

 

[FrigginWeeb]

There was some speculation that now that he's responsible for feeding himself, Jake can't possibly still be as fat as we've seen in previous pictures. Going by his most recent pics, I think he's continually getting fatter.

If we look at one of his GaymerX pics, you can see that even through the beard, his double chin doesn't appear to be quite as pendulous as it is post-shave.
View attachment 2431041
View attachment 2431042

I think Kiwis were estimating Jake's weight to be ~330lbs so I looked at some height/weight visualizing sites.
This guy is 6'3' and 320
View attachment 2431039
Which does seem close enough to Jake's body, until you look at the legs. Dudes don't generally get fat legs until they balloon up to true planet size. Fortunately Jake couldn't stop himself from showing off his tranny socks, and it would seem that he's got a set of laygs, which makes me think Jake must certainly dwarf even this hefty dude.

View attachment 2431040

We all know about Jake's voluptuous 54D breasts, so I went to Lane Bryant's website to see what size that translates into and looked for a height/weight model wearing that size.
View attachment 2431038

Coincidentally, that site had a photo of a 6'3" woman who weighs 250lb.
View attachment 2431036
Which seems like a weight at which a surgical patient could finally care for their own man cave.
Seems like a fair assumption that Jake weighs 400lb and his surgeon told him he had to lose 150lb in order to safely qualify for any procedures.

This would also satisfy Jake's peculiar pattern of lying:
The surgeon told him "In order to qualify for surgery you have to weigh 150 pounds less than you do now."
Jake, technically telling the truth: "The surgeon told me 'You have to weigh 150 pounds'!"

Reading this one thing keeps going through my mind, Austin Powers saying "Good lord man, you really are a fat bastard, aren't you?"
I can't comprehend, how does someone get this size? A stomach is not an endless pit, so size like this you seem to have to work at to achieve. how?!?

 

[GleamingTheQ-Bert]

There was some speculation that now that he's responsible for feeding himself, Jake can't possibly still be as fat as we've seen in previous pictures. Going by his most recent pics, I think he's continually getting fatter.

If we look at one of his GaymerX pics, you can see that even through the beard, his double chin doesn't appear to be quite as pendulous as it is post-shave.
View attachment 2431041
View attachment 2431042

I think Kiwis were estimating Jake's weight to be ~330lbs so I looked at some height/weight visualizing sites.
This guy is 6'3' and 320
View attachment 2431039
Which does seem close enough to Jake's body, until you look at the legs. Dudes don't generally get fat legs until they balloon up to true planet size. Fortunately Jake couldn't stop himself from showing off his tranny socks, and it would seem that he's got a set of laygs, which makes me think Jake must certainly dwarf even this hefty dude.

View attachment 2431040

We all know about Jake's voluptuous 54D breasts, so I went to Lane Bryant's website to see what size that translates into and looked for a height/weight model wearing that size.
View attachment 2431038

Coincidentally, that site had a photo of a 6'3" woman who weighs 250lb.
View attachment 2431036
Which seems like a weight at which a surgical patient could finally care for their own man cave.
Seems like a fair assumption that Jake weighs 400lb and his surgeon told him he had to lose 150lb in order to safely qualify for any procedures.

This would also satisfy Jake's peculiar pattern of lying:
The surgeon told him "In order to qualify for surgery you have to weigh 150 pounds less than you do now."
Jake, technically telling the truth: "The surgeon told me 'You have to weigh 150 pounds'!"

Jake has trotters.

Combined with his snout, I'm convinced Jake is part hog.

That'll do pig, that'll do.

 

[Kosher Dill]

Jake, technically telling the truth

And yet he's NOT autistic!
https://twitter.com/SecretGamerGrrl/status/787092957753212928 | https://archive.md/EKRv1

 

[Tragi-Chan]

Reading this one thing keeps going through my mind, Austin Powers saying "Good lord man, you really are a fat bastard, aren't you?"
I can't comprehend, how does someone get this size? A stomach is not an endless pit, so size like this you seem to have to work at to achieve. how?!?

If you’re having three full meals a day, you’re snacking a lot, you’re drinking sugary soda and you’re only walking maybe a thousand steps a day, I can see how you could wind up morbidly obese.

 

[kaien]

If you’re having three full meals a day, you’re snacking a lot, you’re drinking sugary soda and you’re only walking maybe a thousand steps a day, I can see how you could wind up morbidly obese.

And a thousand steps is a generous estimate. He surely has a lot of days where he just gets up, waddles to the computer, waddles to the toilet a few times, and then waddles back to bed.

 

[FrigginWeeb]

If you’re having three full meals a day, you’re snacking a lot, you’re drinking sugary soda and you’re only walking maybe a thousand steps a day, I can see how you could wind up morbidly obese.

one hand on mouse/keyboard one hand on bag of chips, something to that effect? Can't even do that when I'm sick, get stir crazy.

 

[AirdropShitposts]

Coincidentally, I was just wondering if Jake had managed to get his shots:


Now the Kiwi Agents can bounce their 5G signals off of him.

 

[lindsayfan]

If we look at one of his GaymerX pics, you can see that even through the beard, his double chin doesn't appear to be quite as pendulous as it is post-shave.

Great post. Just wanted to add that not only has Jake gotten fatter... he's gotten older. You can (hypothetically) lose weight, but ain't nothing gonna bring back lost youth.

Those GaymerX pics are from 2015. Regardless of how many dainty lady-lbs he weighs, at this point he'd be sagging all over the place relative to back then.

 

[Kosher Dill]

2 quarts of Gatorade is only 448 calories. Step it up, Jake.

 

[repentance]

There was some speculation that now that he's responsible for feeding himself, Jake can't possibly still be as fat as we've seen in previous pictures. Going by his most recent pics, I think he's continually getting fatter.

If we look at one of his GaymerX pics, you can see that even through the beard, his double chin doesn't appear to be quite as pendulous as it is post-shave.
View attachment 2431041
View attachment 2431042

I think Kiwis were estimating Jake's weight to be ~330lbs so I looked at some height/weight visualizing sites.
This guy is 6'3' and 320
View attachment 2431039
Which does seem close enough to Jake's body, until you look at the legs. Dudes don't generally get fat legs until they balloon up to true planet size. Fortunately Jake couldn't stop himself from showing off his tranny socks, and it would seem that he's got a set of laygs, which makes me think Jake must certainly dwarf even this hefty dude.

View attachment 2431040

We all know about Jake's voluptuous 54D breasts, so I went to Lane Bryant's website to see what size that translates into and looked for a height/weight model wearing that size.
View attachment 2431038

Coincidentally, that site had a photo of a 6'3" woman who weighs 250lb.
View attachment 2431036
Which seems like a weight at which a surgical patient could finally care for their own man cave.
Seems like a fair assumption that Jake weighs 400lb and his surgeon told him he had to lose 150lb in order to safely qualify for any procedures.

This would also satisfy Jake's peculiar pattern of lying:
The surgeon told him "In order to qualify for surgery you have to weigh 150 pounds less than you do now."
Jake, technically telling the truth: "The surgeon told me 'You have to weigh 150 pounds'!"

He posted once before about how surgeons required him to get down to 200 pounds and how impossible losing 150 pounds would be. So he was around 350 then, and claiming he'd been starving himself for months.

 

[AnOminous]

I can't comprehend, how does someone get this size? A stomach is not an endless pit, so size like this you seem to have to work at to achieve. how?!?

How can he afford to get so fat spending $10 for a single tendie? How much would it cost? How could he pay rent?

 

[FrigginWeeb]

How can he afford to get so fat spending $10 for a single tendie? How much would it cost? How could he pay rent?

maybe he's on the dole?

 

[Konstantin Romanov]

Reading this one thing keeps going through my mind, Austin Powers saying "Good lord man, you really are a fat bastard, aren't you?"
I can't comprehend, how does someone get this size? A stomach is not an endless pit, so size like this you seem to have to work at to achieve. how?!?

How can he afford to get so fat spending $10 for a single tendie? How much would it cost? How could he pay rent?

Jake said he ordered because he was out of groceries and I'm inclined to believe him. In the "mom brought me tendies the fucking bitch" post he states he had a full fridge at the time, so it's established that he keeps something in there. As inept as he is at home cooking there is one word which explains his weight and is consistent with his water boiling guides. Cheese.

Cheese is one of the most calorie dense foods, both in terms of calories per gram and calories per dollar, that a normal person has access to. About the only things that compete are butter or raw flour, but those are difficult to shovel into your mouth on their own. As established in the Buffalo Dip post, (

Spoiler: Source

Buffalo chicken figures into a majority of the meals we hear about from the gnome when he talks on Discord

) Jake is both capable of and inclined towards eating bowls of melted cheese. Based on this evidence, I believe Jake is fat because he eats shitloads of cheese all the time.

Now the Kiwi Agents can bounce their 5G signals off of him.

Moderna's an intramuscular injection, which you would definitely feel. Given what we know of Jake, they probably injected it into the fat. If so, Jake is not vaccinated per the legal standard