The Retail Horror Thread 2: More Tales to Chill your Bones

I work at a McDonald's, but I'm mostly in the kitchen so I don't often interact with customers unless it's late at night and I have more freedom to move around the store.

The story that's probably the biggest for me. I was in the back doing dishes since it was a slow night shift. Co-worker J was the only one in the kitchen, and one of the managers, L, was working too. J and L are almost always on shifts together, and they seem to be fairly close friends. J is a large, rough-looking guy with a deep voice, but he's also polite and friendly. L is very petite, bubbly, and silly, but not ditzy — she takes a lot of pride in her job, and often gets upset when the other managers cut corners or fail to do something.

Anyway, from what I remember, the customer wanted a Quarter Pounder fresh off the grill, and both L (who had gone on cash to ring them up) and J informed her that this would take about three minutes, then asked if he would like a Big Mac instead since it would be about the same price and take less time to make fresh (Quarter Pounder patties take about three minutes to cook, and the "regular" patties for the Big Mac and all other burgers take only 40 seconds). But they insisted on their fresh Quarter Pounder in spite of the wait. I put a fresh patty on the grill and it literally went straight from the grill to the burger box.

A couple hours later, the customer came back. The store was dead, so I followed the manager to the counter because I wanted to see if it was something I did. He claimed that, among other things, J had made fun of his wife for being fat and said she had eaten enough Quarter Pounders (not true; J wouldn't say anything like that), and in addition, the burger they got was horribly undercooked. (They threw it out and I inspected it. It certainly was not undercooked.) He also said "so is it NORMAL for you to have an empty paper towel holder next to the hand dryer? I stood there for 5 minutes, spinning the towel holder handle like an idiot." Then he launched into a complaint about "all the flies on the building" (every building in town is covered in fish flies in the summer, and there's nothing any of us can do about it) and "all the other flies buzzing around" (even a clean store will have flies buzzing around in the summer).

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Another time, we got a new worker at McDonald's, whom I'll refer to A. S. ("S" for "Slacker"). New workers usually start off at grill, so I was put on table (meaning I was assembling sandwiches) while another worker, A. R., trained him at grill. Keep in mind that A. R. is deaf, but literally everyone else seems okay with this, and all are willing to work with his disability. (A. R.'s sister and mother both work at the store as well; in fact, his mother is a shift manager.) Anyway, when he was being trained, it seemed that A. S. didn't really get what A. R. was explaining to him in what seemed to me like very straightforward nonverbal communication (grill is really simple: you just have to have it set to whatever meat you're cooking on it, and cook no more than the maximum amount that's on a chart. If a tray of meat is emptied, cook a new one.)

A. S. did start working on grill whenever I wasn't, but I had noticed that he had a tendency to just stand around and do nothing when it was slow. Now, I had already figured out that if it's slow, you can find something else to do — clean up, check stock, do dishes, whatever; there's even a list by grill — but A. S. never seemed to get it. He was always standing around. Nearly every other manager had warned him about it, and even I would often say "A. S., go find something to do" or outright GIVE him something to do while I found someting else.

One time I needed a ride home so I asked A. S. to drive me home. I live on a residential road two miles off the main drag, and nearly all of that is narrow roads where you'd be crazy to drive faster than 30. He drove 60 all the way to my house.

Anyway, A. S. turned in his two weeks' notice about a month ago now. During his last week, I was doing dishes and he was on grill. I hear one of our managers — a very loud older woman — yelling his name over and over. After a few minutes, I get called back into grill because A. S. has been sent home. Apparently he hated Loud Manager and was blatantly refusing instructions to put down more meat, so I had to catch things up for him. The next day, I was off, and he was working grill. I heard a day later that he got sent home AGAIN because he was apparently putting his fingers in his mouth and claiming a toothache.

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Also, my sister worked at a Rite Aid for about three years. She told me once that a customer came in reeking of pot (apparently not a rare occurrence in Flint), when an old lady calmly walked over and sprayed him point-blank with perfume.
 
My favorite Taco Bell weirdo, however, was a woman who became known as just 'Granny.' One night, in walks this sweet little old lady -- could've been anyone's Grandma-sort of woman -- and she places her order as politely as one can at a fast food joint close to midnight. I figured that maybe it was for her grandkids or something but after I gave her her burrito and watched her for a minute, it got... odd. There was something coming out of her sleeve. Thought it was a trick of the light or maybe 'cause I'd been working a ten hour shift, but my coworker pointed it out too. Then I realized it. She had brought a fucking rat into the restaurant with her. Not just one rat though, but a good three or four popped right out of her sleeve and went to town on that burrito. She sat there, just smiling, until one of the girls in back came out to clean and flipped her shit. The rats climbed right back up her sleeve, and the old lady looked at us like we'd all grown second heads or something. She tottered right on out, taking her half-eaten burrito with her, and we never saw her again.
Something about that just makes a part of my brain scream "UNCLEAN!! KILL WITH FIRE!!"

Edit: To elaborate, that sounds like some Willard shit. No good ever comes from that.
 
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So hiring season at gamestop was always fun. Yes there were the usual assortment of GAMERS who were in HARDCORE GAMING and wanted a job at GAMESTOP because GAMING--- but had never worked a day in their lives and weren't really planning on starting.

And then there were the special ones.

1. Rat woman. Rats are cute and they make cute pets. So if you like rats, that's fine. But please don't bring your rats with you on a job interview . Don't bring any pets on a job interview. Just don't do it!

2. Thuggish Guy. Asks for an application, receives one. Returns said application covered in dried blood. Like, huge portions of it were unreadable- that much blood. Flaked all over the counter, took forever to sanitize. When asked what happened, he just shrugged and said that he punched his brother and "some blood mighta got on it."

3. The Spanish teacher from the local high school. Not necessarily weird, just super awkward after we didn't hire him.

4. Son. Tall, nerdy guy dressed like dwight schrute comes in with his mom. Son asks for application, we give him one. He automatically hands it over to his mother who proceeds to spend the next fifteen minutes filling it out for him. She does that hideous thing where you lick your fingers to turn the page. It made a slurping noise and left a wet thumb print on the paper. Somehow this disgusts me more than blood application. I just threw it away when they left.

5. Pooh bear. Obease teen who wore a Winnie the Pooh shirt to her interview. Let out a series of silent deadlies during the Q and A, causing my pregnant manger to dry heave over a trash can.

It's really amazing we were able to hire anyone at all.
 
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1. Rat woman. Rats are cute and they make cute pets. So if you like rats, that's fine. But please don't bring your rats with you on a job interview . Don't bring any pets on a job interview. Just don't do it!

The fuck is it with people bringing rats places? I mean, I don't really have a problem with pet rats, but most people take one look at a rat and assume 'vermin' and flip out. But yes, please don't bring pets to job interviews or to the workplace -- period. I've had people who showed up to my current job with their cat or dog or lizard or whatever, complaining that they 'couldn't find a pet sitter.' If you can't leave your pet at home during the day while you're at work, perhaps you've got the wrong kind of pet or you've got the wrong kind of job.
 
I would never work at Gamestop just because of all the pre-order quota garbage. We have similar thing at Kmart where at least 70-75% of people you checkout have to have a membership or we get chewed out or in one case threatened to be fired. It's only tolerable at Kmart since everyone just cheats (and you can basically give yourself free money), so I can't imagine that kinda shit at Gamestop where there's literally no reason to preorder 99% of the time and you can't just cheat by typing in [area code] 123-4567 while no one's looking.
 
. We have similar thing at Kmart where at least 70-75% of people you checkout have to have a membership or we get chewed out or in one case threatened to be fired. It's only tolerable at Kmart since everyone just cheats
My last week at Kmart I cheated on pretty much every transaction. I closed on green every shift. The managers had to know I was faking it because no one in our store ever did that (I sure as hell never had) but they still asked if I could work an extra few days. I probably still have a million points I never claimed, because why the fuck would I ever go back to that store.
 
My last week at Kmart I cheated on pretty much every transaction. I closed on green every shift. The managers had to know I was faking it because no one in our store ever did that (I sure as hell never had) but they still asked if I could work an extra few days. I probably still have a million points I never claimed, because why the fuck would I ever go back to that store.
Someone in our store got fired for cheating once since apparently they only catch on if you're always gold (85% membership). Even with me cheating that shit's borderline impossible so hey free clothes and groceries.
 
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My mom was working at a bank back in the early 80's. Around 4'clock the bank would start receiving phone calls where there was a guy muttering "Fuck" between heavy breathing. If they hung up on him, he would just call back.

So one day, when mom answered the phone only to get this caller, she starts quoting a stalker from a thriller movie she saw that week:

"*breathe*...Fuck...*breathe*..."
"mmmmm. I've been watching you for a while. Your body, your legs-"
"FUCKFUCKFUCKFUCKFUCK! *Hangs up*"

The guy never called again.
 
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I would not be able to work at a pet store because a lot of customer's blatant disregard for the lives of their pets would drive me batshit insane. I think working at Gamestop would be easier because video games don't have feelings and stupid people are funny but this is coming from someone who has never worked retail
 
Never worked in retail either (thank fuck) but I love how there's more than one story on here about middle-aged moms absolutely refusing to believe that a game for one system doesn't work in a different system and any attempt to tell them otherwise results in a "oh you're not gonna get me with THAT old scam! I'm a mom and I know better than you about this thing I know nothing about!"

Reminds me of when I was staying with my aunt many years ago and I was playing a PS3 game and she says, "they should just let you put that disc in your laptop and play it on there too!" I don't know what it is about middle-aged women and why they can't wrap their heads around why that notion is absolutely absurd.
 
I would not be able to work at a pet store because a lot of customer's blatant disregard for the lives of their pets would drive me batshit insane. I think working at Gamestop would be easier because video games don't have feelings and stupid people are funny but this is coming from someone who has never worked retail

I work at a pet store and can confirm that roughly 60% of the people that come in really have no business owning animals. You would not believe how many people do zero research before getting a new pet, especially when it comes to fish or the small animals like guinea pigs or hamsters.
 
I work at a pet store and can confirm that roughly 60% of the people that come in really have no business owning animals. You would not believe how many people do zero research before getting a new pet, especially when it comes to fish or the small animals like guinea pigs or hamsters.
Also, asking the guy at petsmart how to care for an animal does not count as research because I guarantee you they know jack shit.
When I was a kid I saw a baby water dragon (lizards that get so large that commercial tanks can't hold them) and I wanted it so bad and my mum was smart enough to do research first and she's like "there ain't no way you're getting that lizard" and I was super pissed at the time but now I'm like yeah that was smart
In particular the "information" they give you about hermit crabs at petsmart or anywhere else is literally going to kill the animal in 3 months and they say that's normal(!!!)
I could write paragraph after paragraph just on hermit crab misinformation and their captive welfare
 
I work at a pet store and can confirm that roughly 60% of the people that come in really have no business owning animals. You would not believe how many people do zero research before getting a new pet, especially when it comes to fish or the small animals like guinea pigs or hamsters.

Anyone who comes into a pet store to buy a pet already doesn't know you probably shouldn't buy a pet at a pet store.
 
Another one from the Golden Arches: the other day, I had to explain to one of my coworkers that milk is not made from eggs, and comes from a cow. Her "excuse" is that she dropped out of high school, but I'm pretty sure that most people know where milk comes from long, long before they reach high school…
...What the Hell!? Why do I get the feeling she probably flunked recess?
 
I know, right? I told this to my mom and she said, "What, are they not taking kids on field trips to the farm anymore?" There is a LOT of farmland around us, easily enough that you should definitely know where milk, eggs, or whatever come from even if somehow you never learned it in school.

A few minutes later, another co-worker and I were talking about Weird Al, and Milk Eggs Girl had not only never heard of him, but didn't know what "parody" meant. Like, "wasn't even close when trying to repeat the word" level of unfamiliar with the word "parody".

The worst part is, she has a second job at a grocery store, so that's twice the chance that her idiocy will spread...
 
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