Rose_of_Troon
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 20, 2021
Philosophy Tube / Oliver Lennard / Oliver "Olly" Thorn / Abigail Thorn - Breadtube's Patrick Bateman.
- Thread starter Icasaracht
- Start date
- Joined
- Feb 25, 2021
Late because I only just watched Dan's pity-fest of a video about growing up gay (Or to give it its full title: Gay And Not Proud - Daniel Howell | YouTube Pride 2021) – but dear lord! The line of dialog where they reference Olly's gender was atrocious.
It's like they didn't think it was obvious enough to the audience that Olly is a Woman™ when writing the script, so they had to convey it instead through CLUMSY EXPOSITION.
It didn't help that Olly is lit in a way that barely shows any hair.
The fairy goes on to explain that-- hang on, I almost forgot this part:
I just like the unintentional subtext of a gay man's dick being confused when he meets Olly.
Moving on:
Olly quickly shuts down Dan's rampant sex-negativity. 'No Dan, you will base the next decade of your life around casual butt-fucking to make up for what you didn't get to experience when you were a teen.' The subtext there alllmost feels intentional.
And there we have it. The message that the video has been building up to for 45 excruciating minutes of Dan Howell talking about himself, and having conversations with other people mostly about himself.... is that he's been accepted for who he was the whole damn time.
This almost completely undermines the narrative they've been attempting to weave throughout the video which is to say that queer (and they throw this word around all the time, even as a noun) young people in Current Year have miserable lives because people don't accept them for who they are. They need Gay Pride. So donate to these LGBT charities today! And help make young people a little more
And a 2016 meme reference to remind you of the last time Dan Howell was relevant.
There is a cringetastic scene after that where Dan goes into a mockup of his teenage bedroom and observes his emo teenage self (played by what appears to be Phil Lester in a wig), who doesn't get any lines. He just lays on his bed and grunts a few times while Older Dan makes yet more remarks about himself.
There is also a 90s era computer monitor, and a joke about a computer virus, which feels anachronistic for a scene set in c. 2006-08
After that scene, there is another quick plea for donations:
And I could have done with The Elton John AIDS Foundation after watching this video (cause, y'know, AIDS).
(Oh my God, I just picked up on the subtext of the computer virus joke.)
And the story concludes with Dan ceremoniously smashing all the props from the previous scene (including a closet!) to symbolise him letting go of his baggage or whatever.
But not before he gives a robotically delivered speech about the importance of Pride which says absolutely nothing new and looks like it could have been spat out of a Markov text generator.
So confident was I that this speech could have been generated by a machine, I actually tried using this AI-based tool to generate more of it. The result was what appeared to be... a Jimmy Fallon fanfiction, which I am convinced must mean something profound about the state of the universe.
It means... Dan Howell was Jimmy Fallon's twinksona the entire time.
What's even more astonishing is that he appears to be giving this speech to Ellen, of all people!
There is also a 90s era computer monitor, and a joke about a computer virus, which feels anachronistic for a scene set in c. 2006-08
After that scene, there is another quick plea for donations:
And I could have done with The Elton John AIDS Foundation after watching this video (cause, y'know, AIDS).
(Oh my God, I just picked up on the subtext of the computer virus joke.)
And the story concludes with Dan ceremoniously smashing all the props from the previous scene (including a closet!) to symbolise him letting go of his baggage or whatever.
But not before he gives a robotically delivered speech about the importance of Pride which says absolutely nothing new and looks like it could have been spat out of a Markov text generator.
So confident was I that this speech could have been generated by a machine, I actually tried using this AI-based tool to generate more of it. The result was what appeared to be... a Jimmy Fallon fanfiction, which I am convinced must mean something profound about the state of the universe.
It means... Dan Howell was Jimmy Fallon's twinksona the entire time.
What's even more astonishing is that he appears to be giving this speech to Ellen, of all people!
Dan reveals the duplicitous global aims of the Pride movement around the halfway point (23:35 in the video).
If I am parsing this correctly with what he says later on, he's saying that a supportive community always existed for people like him... BUT it's just that Queer™ teens don't always realise that they are loved and supported by the community, so Pride type events become a necessity.
We know however that there were already Pride marches and gay culture in the time when Dan was growing up. But clearly not enough of them. The implication is that there needs to be even more of it, in more cities, with more ways to show Queer™® youth how loved and supported they really truly are. Only when Pride culture is truly omnipresent will it be possible to rescue all the other Dan Howells from their self-imposed mental prisons.
As for that remark about there being "hundreds of millions" of queers: I assume he means worldwide. 5% of the world population is just under 400 million, whereas 5% or even 10% of the western world is barely going to be more than 100 million. So however much more queer-friendly he thinks the western world should be (remember that the rest of the video had him blaming the rest of the world for his hangups about being gay, so it clearly needs to do a lot better), it seems reasonable to assume he would want other countries to be held to the same impossible standard.
"No gay agenda" my arse.
It's hard to know how much of this is Dan talking and how much of this is Google putting words in his script. There's no scriptwriting credit, though the non-interview parts are VERY OBVIOUSLY SCRIPTED. And in case I didn't make this clear, this is a highly produced Youtube Originals show. Youtube promoted the fuck out of it on the 25th of June. And Dan probably got paid a lot to make it (it was enough to coax him out of retirement, after all).
Despite the video being forgotten like a fart in the wind.
Youtube doesn't show the view count of their Originals, but I'm guessing it isn't high. Likes and dislikes are hidden too, but is does show the number of comments: 1716.
For comparison, his next most recent videos have view/comment ratios of:
12,189,289 / 128,195 = 95
1,299,041 / 12,850 = 101
4,585,072 / 34,184 = 134
If we take the higher of those three and assume it has a view/comment ratio of 140 (rounded up), we get a view count of barely 240k. Not great for something Youtube itself tried to promote.
They also did a weird thing where they livestreamed it, despite it clearly being pre-recorded. This might account for the low number of comments as it was not a premiere - comments could not be left until after the 'live' stream was over. But I doubt there were that many more people who watched it live.
Oh, and Dan has a really faggy rebrand of his channel. It used to be his screen name of 'danisnotonfire' - which was even referenced in the title of his book and live tour. Now it's 'Daniel Howell'. Not Dan. Daniel.
The avatar looks as if he designed it while following a step-by-step guide to the letter on "how to make your online brand more professional" without actually understanding the concept of professionality.
Anyway, the fact that he's washed up and making this video really speaks volumes about the career of Will Young. For those who don't know, Will Young was one of the household names in the pop music of early 2000s Britain. Now he's appearing in a Dan Howell video.
(Emphasis mine)
If I am parsing this correctly with what he says later on, he's saying that a supportive community always existed for people like him... BUT it's just that Queer™ teens don't always realise that they are loved and supported by the community, so Pride type events become a necessity.
We know however that there were already Pride marches and gay culture in the time when Dan was growing up. But clearly not enough of them. The implication is that there needs to be even more of it, in more cities, with more ways to show Queer™® youth how loved and supported they really truly are. Only when Pride culture is truly omnipresent will it be possible to rescue all the other Dan Howells from their self-imposed mental prisons.
As for that remark about there being "hundreds of millions" of queers: I assume he means worldwide. 5% of the world population is just under 400 million, whereas 5% or even 10% of the western world is barely going to be more than 100 million. So however much more queer-friendly he thinks the western world should be (remember that the rest of the video had him blaming the rest of the world for his hangups about being gay, so it clearly needs to do a lot better), it seems reasonable to assume he would want other countries to be held to the same impossible standard.
"No gay agenda" my arse.
It's hard to know how much of this is Dan talking and how much of this is Google putting words in his script. There's no scriptwriting credit, though the non-interview parts are VERY OBVIOUSLY SCRIPTED. And in case I didn't make this clear, this is a highly produced Youtube Originals show. Youtube promoted the fuck out of it on the 25th of June. And Dan probably got paid a lot to make it (it was enough to coax him out of retirement, after all).
Despite the video being forgotten like a fart in the wind.
Youtube doesn't show the view count of their Originals, but I'm guessing it isn't high. Likes and dislikes are hidden too, but is does show the number of comments: 1716.
For comparison, his next most recent videos have view/comment ratios of:
12,189,289 / 128,195 = 95
1,299,041 / 12,850 = 101
4,585,072 / 34,184 = 134
If we take the higher of those three and assume it has a view/comment ratio of 140 (rounded up), we get a view count of barely 240k. Not great for something Youtube itself tried to promote.
They also did a weird thing where they livestreamed it, despite it clearly being pre-recorded. This might account for the low number of comments as it was not a premiere - comments could not be left until after the 'live' stream was over. But I doubt there were that many more people who watched it live.
Oh, and Dan has a really faggy rebrand of his channel. It used to be his screen name of 'danisnotonfire' - which was even referenced in the title of his book and live tour. Now it's 'Daniel Howell'. Not Dan. Daniel.
The avatar looks as if he designed it while following a step-by-step guide to the letter on "how to make your online brand more professional" without actually understanding the concept of professionality.
Anyway, the fact that he's washed up and making this video really speaks volumes about the career of Will Young. For those who don't know, Will Young was one of the household names in the pop music of early 2000s Britain. Now he's appearing in a Dan Howell video.
Dan also refers to Olly in passing as a "dom top angel", which seems... inappropriately gendered for a woman. Aren't tops always gay men?
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- Joined
- Mar 1, 2021
Minor bit of Britspergery here - akshually, it's MI5 that's like the US Secret Service (operating internally), MI6 is more the CIA equivalent (operating externally)
Tombigbee
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2021
- Joined
- Apr 3, 2021
I would regret reading the entirety of your spergout over an irrelevant early 2010s e-celeb if not for this line. This line makes it worth it.
- Joined
- Apr 23, 2021
Hoooooly soft focus. I guess Ol’ Abs had enough vaseline left over from jacking his DOM TOP dique to Contra that he could smear some on his phone’s camera lens. So femme, babes.
fax machine
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 26, 2021
Curious interaction in the replies of this tweet:
without giving too much away~
(bandcamp/archive)
wItHoUt gIvInG tOo mUcH aWaY
You know the singer is a proud trans woman and not a sad self-hater like that sorry bitch Simone because they make no effort to sound like anything other than a guy on this track.
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
yeah, it’s next level shit behaviour- if you WITHDRAW from an award, it means you ARENT voted for- there is not ‘Runner up’ there is just the winner with the amount of votes from the available candidates.
ebegging your nomination, the second you decide to be classed, decide being unarguably the operative word, by his own blueprint; as LGBT- admittedly for careerist motivations, and then storming out- i wonder if it was looking like he was getting an embarrassingly low amount of votes?
this way he gets double the back pats, clout and publicity of the award. it would be interesting to find out what the actual figures were looking like and if there was a spur for this - mightn’t have even been really low votes, might have just been that anything that for other than a win, on blalance this option was the one he decided on.
ick
@fax machine s post above- fucking hell olly, get over it. i’m sure my current squeeze would be a bit miffed if i was obsessively not-even-that-vagueposting my ex lay, over a year after the fact- and that’s without it being disseminated somewhat publicly.
walking dildo needs to stfu lol- that account that quote came from was defo his new fucker- histrionic but thick, just the flavour of the videos we’ve seen posted from their account.
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Tombigbee
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Mar 12, 2021
Hmmm perhaps his mood will darken if the possible anticipated reunion with Contra has been cancelled…
And also Philosophy Tube is unlike anything else. And using his million subscribers milestone to wheedle out a few more Patreon bucks. Correct me if I’m wrong but even Contra wasn’t so obnoxious with the constant talk of subscriber counts and the success of the channel:
I do agree that Philosophy Tube is weird though….
And also Philosophy Tube is unlike anything else. And using his million subscribers milestone to wheedle out a few more Patreon bucks. Correct me if I’m wrong but even Contra wasn’t so obnoxious with the constant talk of subscriber counts and the success of the channel:
I do agree that Philosophy Tube is weird though….
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AntiStan23
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 10, 2021
teehee few people can do what i do, which is manipulating people into having a parasocial relationship with me by flaunting my privilege and posing as a scholar to 1 Mio subscribers, did you hear that correct? 1 MIO SUBS!! The most funny thing is, I’m not even thinking of myself as a philosopher but as an actress, yes you heard me, I’m a whamman now. And I’m the best actress in the whole wide world. I’m just doing this YouTube to hang out with you guys, don’t you know? But soon everybody in the world will now my name and they will all chant, hail abigail, the trannyfuhrer of the 21st century. I will create a world where gender is a social construct. I ask myself, do i feel like a woman inside? The answer is: Inside i feel happy. Thanks everybody. So humbled. So honoured. Wow. Let me stick my tongue out to demonstrate my humbleness… eeeh
- Joined
- Nov 8, 2017
Hey Olly, you just described exactly what Vice was doing: forced surface-level eccentricity and refusing to not inject their informative content with
personal gonzo anecdotes and witless snark.
Calculus
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jul 4, 2018
Ok, so a Harry Potter knockoff, a mechanic shop, and a potentially upsetting eating disorders kitchen thing. He actually bothers to find step outside for filming locations (sometimes). Soooo weird.
dflatline
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 7, 2021
Why does he randomly spatter everything he says with 'lol' like an insecure 13 year old girl circa 2010?
- Joined
- Feb 2, 2021
have you noticed how he’s only actually nice when he’s talking to/about himself, or to people he thinks are sufficiently high profile?
even that Vidcon answer was brusque and like ‘well you should have known that’ there are many other ways in as few words to inform that it’s been cancelled without once again being flippant at best, dismissive at worst.
that new selfie- well every new selfie, is fucking hilarious when you think what he actually looks like a La ‘Ian! God, i’m so sorry’.
even that Vidcon answer was brusque and like ‘well you should have known that’ there are many other ways in as few words to inform that it’s been cancelled without once again being flippant at best, dismissive at worst.
that new selfie- well every new selfie, is fucking hilarious when you think what he actually looks like a La ‘Ian! God, i’m so sorry’.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2021
Pinga
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 1, 2021
If he wanted to accurately portray eating disorders, he should have used a toilet.
Also, @AfghanBlue, he's a boorish douche, but will complain the minute someone tiptoes a bit out of line of what he thinks is acceptable (aka almost nothing).
I just don't get how his followers don't see it though.
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V4L_Penis
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Feb 3, 2021
Jeez. Maybe finding effective treatment for AIDS was a mistake?
TheBaseline101
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- May 26, 2021
... I admit, I had to snicker a little. What's this going to be? Some bimbo checking social media and getting 'influenced' into an eating disorder? It looks like it's about to burst. Also why use such a tiny ass phone?! All it does is emphasize even more how huge he is. I mean, granted, those sausages would still look humongous on an iPad too but the combination in this case is almost comical. I won't believe someone who could have done or said something didn't speak up about how ridiculous this looks. Are you kidding me? Are they that whipped to lie to his face and be like: 'Yass omg queen, you slayin!
'. There must have been ill intent and I won't be convinced otherwise.The fridge bod doesn't help.
- Joined
- Apr 4, 2021
I skipped most of the video, and only watched part of the section with that character, but it seemed to be a 'gotcha' interview with the CEO of a made-up fintech company like "Afterpay". For those that don't know, when you have the option to checkout on some websites you can use a service like Afterpay where you pay a portion of the payment up front and then pay off the rest of the purchase in installments. The interviewer tried to steer the conversation into how this is a predatory practice while the CEO (Olly) tried to save face. It felt a little out of place in a 'beauty standards 101' video (maybe it's a commentary on how these predatory services are usually on women's fashion/beauty websites so women go into debt trying to chase beauty ideals??) but that could just be because I skipped large portions of the video; I couldn't bear to hear a male talk to me about eating disorders and how advertisers pay women to look a certain way so that women will then pay them to look like that. Maybe I'll take adderall and go back and actually watch it if no one else will.
extremely online
kiwifarms.net
- Joined
- Jun 29, 2021
Pretty funny to hear him say that women (or people, but mostly women) who buy into diet culture and are obsessed with losing weight become "eternal customers" to the diet industry, when so much of modern, stunning and brave twans activism promotes being a lifelong medical patient who threatens suicide if they can't purchase hormones or get expensive surgeries. And even self-identified nonbinary people (who don't need to medically transition) are always on tiktok talking about how their "gender" is validated by how they dress and how their hair is cut— it's all still consumerism.
Also funny that he played a ditzy CEO of a girlboss pinkwashed corporation, considering most of the people who run the multibillion dollar and multinational companies that make everyone's lives miserable are men. He was obviously trying to make fun of "girlboss capitalism" (common talking point amongst the online left), but it wasn't particularly salient or interesting, especially considering the character of ridicule was a rich graduate of an elite university, reliant on wealth and privilege, who is delusionally out of touch— does that ring any bells?
This video reminded me of a hastily thrown together and worse version of Contrapoints's Beauty, Fat acceptance, and What's wrong with capitalism videos (neither of which are particularly good, but PT's video is really plumbing the depths of pseudointellectual drivel). And to hear some slob talk about eating disorders and the crushing beauty standards he's subjected to as a real, authentic whammin when he's lived as a man his entire life (and is coddled by the absolute hugbox that is TRA/liberal/leftist twitter) is another layer of irony to this whole thing. (He also talks about himself as if he's thin which in itself is a funny thing to see— he looks like an oaf regardless of whatever third rate female impersonation he's doing.)
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