Can’t quote proper because of the site issues but
@High Hedgie likened Chantal’s hygiene to that of an earthworm.
I was going to do the old joke of “don’t do my boy earthworm like that,” but then I actually thought about it.
A gross creature whose only purpose is to propel themselves through life,
literally, by swallowing and then shitting out whatever is in front of them, over and over and over and over. A creature whose greatest contribution to the world will be through increasing the nutrients in the soil they occupy.
Yeah, that’s Chantal. Her most beneficial gift to the world will be when her body is someday broken down in the ground to feed bacteria and plants.
But at least earthworms were made for that purpose. They don’t have access to higher brain functions that would allow them to do any more with their lives. They don’t possess the mental and physical gifts of humans, and just do the best they can as worms.
And yet worms don’t date crackheads. So they’re smarter than Chantal.
It's hilarious how she is obsessed with over-sooting the front of her head and thinks it's a done deal. Doesn't she realize what the rest of it looks like?
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AND! Her hair is already stiff as a board from all of the hairspray.
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So what does she think she needs? More hairspray!
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Right before bed, no less. She really goes out of her way to be as filthy as she is.
If you’re not a ladykiwi, you may not be aware that hairspray and many aerosol hair fixative products, like the one Chantal is soaking her head in, contain a fucktonne of alcohol and other ingredients that dry the fuck out of your hair, causing it to become brittle, flaky and damaged.
Hairspray works by spraying out a solution that sticks between hair shafts, like a sticky web holding them together loosely with temporary glue. And like glue, those bonds pull and tug at the hair shaft even more, which is why if you have a tonne of spray in your hair, you should always wash your hair gently and thoroughly WITHOUT combing your hair out first. Combing it just yanks and pulls on those sticky bonds and destroys the hair more.
If you’re rubbing your hair on stuff while it’s full of spray, that also pushes and pulls the glue bonds that yank at the delicate hair follicles. And all the while, it’s sucking the moisture out of the hair shaft, weakening the hair strand further and causing it to flake, split and break. The longer you leave hairspray in and the more you poke or pull at it, the more damage it causes.
So yeah, go to bed and roll around on your oversprayed stiff hair like the world’s dumbest hog, Chinny. Can’t imagine why you’re balding faster than usual.