Real Talk: Games that were shit that the press adores

Hyperion

Hyperion

D E A D
True & Honest Fan
kiwifarms.net
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Apr 4, 2013
I'm going to go ahead and start the list at:

Contra. Even in the NES days this game was behind its time. It was shit then, its shit now, and its fans are shit.

Warcraft: A braindead rip off like most Blizzard products this game didn't even manage to be good. Retards still ate it up like popcorn, mainly because they were 13 and didn't know any better.

Warcraft sequels: see above.

Starcraft: The religion of South Koreans. If they deserved their own religion they would have won the Korean war. They didn't, and now their people are going to be sold to China to cover our debt.

Any even numbered Final Fantasy except 6

Any odd numbered Final Fantasy except 9

Halo: Really? Pretty graphics and a shit story. See Warcraft.

Call of Duty: See Halo

Animal Crossing: Autism is a disease, no matter how many animals you've crossed.
 
Crazy Pacer said:
Call of Duty: See Halo
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I'll take Halo (CE and 2) over CoD any day, at least I can tolerate Halo's multiplayer community.

Also like to add any new 2D Mario title after NSMB, not because they are bad but are just done to death.
 
Grand Theft Auto: Boring, directionless, ridiculously oversized sandboxes with tons of pointless sidequests.

Red Dead Redemption: Everything wrong with GTA, except you can't get into hilarious car crashes.
 
I only found GTA IV to be somewhat boring (it's still a good game though and I have high hopes for V), but Vice City and San Andreas were far from boring, I would enjoy them for hours on end, but hey that's just my opinion.

Another game for Me is Minecraft, I just don't get the appeal of it.
 
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Tetris: it's so BORING.

Angry birds: A complete rip-off of Crush the Castle...but lame. Sorry Trombonista.

Budokai Tenkaichi 3: Why the fuck would anyone want to play as Arale? And what's with the what-if scenarios in this game? We went from "What if Raditz turned good" in 2, to "WHAT IF DEVILMAN FOUGHT FRIEZA WOULDN'T THAT BE AWESOME?!?!"
 
Secret of Mana: Awesome music, boring gameplay, lame dialogue.

Call of Duty: Generic Military FPS with no intellectual depth whatsoever. Plot is pretty much an unironic uproar of "AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!!"

Battlefield: See Call of Duty.

Gears of War: CHAINSAW BAYONETS! LOLSOEDGY!11

Madden NFL (Current Year +1): Full-Priced Roster Update with minimal improvements. Pretty much any sports game, for that matter.

Zelda Ocarina of Time: Hasn't aged well. I didn't grow up with it, so it really just comes across to my spoiled modern tastes as an overly generic adventure game reliant on MacGuffin collecting to advance the plot. I'm sure people had played nothing like it when it first came out, though.
 
TastyWB 2.0 said:
I only found GTA IV to be somewhat boring (it's still a good game though and I have high hopes for V), but Vice City and San Andreas were far from boring, I would enjoy them for hours on end, but hey that's just my opinion.

Another game for Me is Minecraft, I just don't get the appeal of it.
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GTA 4 is probably the worst one in the series (yet the one I play the most because mods). While the previous games wanted you to have complete control of your environment and get into the craziest scenarios possible, the developers wanted 4 to be "real", and "real" in video games = boring. They plan on fixing that with 5, as they say this time they're aiming for it to be fun.

I can enjoy Minecraft with friends, but I don't get the appeal of playing alone. "Stack le bricks! Make le funny meme jokes! Waste hours completely rebuilding a randomly generated map!" Although there's always this:

nom_d__un_chien__by_bouftouman-d4voqxa.png
 
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Call of Duty. The game that single-handedly raped and ruined the FPS genre.
 
Crazy Pacer said:
Animal Crossing: Autism is a disease, no matter how many animals you've crossed.
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Every one of your opinions is now wrong. :cry:

Every dudebro hardcore game on the PS360 that got like 9's by gaming reviews. Shit ain't good. You just be paid.
 
Final Fantasy VII: There's really no reason to like this beyond nostalgia. Everything it did has been done better either before or since. And all the spinoff games were shit.

Borderlands: A tedious slog with a questing system ripped out of World of Warcraft and terrible lolrandumb humor.

Dead Space: Not scary. Like, not at all.

Mass Effect 3: A series of really good story missions wrecked by astonishingly token attempts at sandbox gameplay and an appallingly bad ending.
 
I just don't see the point in mindcraft, to me they are just virtual legos and stuff with maybe a little more interactivity, but yeah, its just... nothing...

And also... CANDY CRUSH!

Basically a bejeweled clone, okay, okay, it's not exactly like bejeweled, but still, my mother is addicted to this crap now...
 
Fialovy said:
I just don't see the point in mindcraft, to me they are just virtual legos and stuff with maybe a little more interactivity, but yeah, its just... nothing...

And also... CANDY CRUSH!

Basically a bejeweled clone, okay, okay, it's not exactly like bejeweled, but still, my mother is addicted to this crap now...
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The worst part is even Bejeweled itself was a clone.
 
Call of Duty: Generic Military FPS with no intellectual depth whatsoever. Plot is pretty much an unironic uproar of "AMERICA FUCK YEAH!!!"
Click to expand...

The main protagonists for 4, 6, and 8 are British...
 
Crazy Pacer said:
World of Warcraft: A braindead rip off like most Blizzard products this game didn't even manage to be good. Retards still ate it up like popcorn, mainly because they were 13 and didn't know any better.
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fixx'ed
 
League of Legends

I watch my brother play it sometimes and holy crap it looks so boring. All you do is try and take over the opposing team's nexus, that's it. I just don't get the appeal of it.

To make matters worse, it permenately damaged my faith in humanity: http://news.en.softonic.com/league-of-legends-given-official-sport-status-in-the-us


The other game is Okamiden, how I hate this game with a passion. I don't get why so many people praise it so much, it was such a letdown. The platforming controls were shit, the story was campy as shit, the soundtrack was forgettable and overused, ripped off funny moments from the previous game and used them to death (disguise events), too many loadzones, the graphics didn't have that painted look that the franchise is so famous for, and still had all the things that its prequel did wrong such as killing all the bosses a second time in the end.
 
Warcraft, really? I thought the original 3 warcraft RTSes were really solid games that did a lot for the RTS genre as a whole. Same goes for star craft with its enormous competitive potential, and halo, which really did change a lot for the better when it comes to console FPSes.

more on topic:

Call of duty - though not technically badly made, by now it reeks of lazy design. It's been the same game for over 6 years now. That's an impressive commitment to never bringing any innovation right there. It's also very generic in so many ways. It's clear that it was made to appeal to as many people as possible, and as a result it really lacks stand-out qualities.

Final Fantasy 7 - Now don't get me wrong, I do understand how much this game has done for the genre of J-rpgs... That having been said, it really hasn't aged gracefully compared to most other final fantasy games. I can still pick up 9 and really enjoy it, but 7 for some reason just doesn't age well at all.

Crysis 1 - Now 2 and 3 look a bit better, but I haven't played them, so I can't judge, but 1 I thought was complete eye candy. It looked really pretty and it had some interesting ideas, but when I played it, for some reason it just felt pretty generic and forgettable. I think they improved the way the suit works in 2 and 3 from what I've seen, but it didn't feel like it had a meaningful enough impact on gameplay in 1 as far as I can remember and there was very little reason to use things other than armor and speed mode.

Dead Or Alive - I'll admit that it has solid fighting game mechanics. As a fighting game, it succeeds, but it kinda ruins that by pandering to teenage boys so much. We really don't need every girl in the game to have giant jelly-filled balloons on their chest and we don't need their clothing to cover as little of their bodies as possible. It's just gotten to be a very tired and boring style of 'art.' I don't mind a bit of pandering. I don't really like it, but it's to be expected, but DOA just feels more like soft core fantasy porn than the good fighting game that's hidden underneath it.

Star Wars TOR: aside from being plagued by bugs on its initial release, I'll let the fact that most of the game's community left after only a few months and that the developer had to make it free 2 play pretty quickly speak for itself. I didn't think the UI was all that intuitive and I thought it all felt a bit like a generic MMO in a space suit, rather than a whole new experience like what was promised.
 
Call of Duty 4 (Modern Warfare 1) was probably the best FPS I ever played. I actually shed tears at the end of the storyline in campaign mode. It was an amazing game because you actually grow to care about the characters and the events that take place feel real. It feels like all this horrible shit is happening and you grow with your squad. Granted, I was younger when I played it, but I felt like everything was going to be alright and that the bad Russian people were going to get what was coming and 'murica was going to pull out as untouched heroes with the sweat on their brow as the only sign they had even been to war. That didn't happen, and it hurt.

The Multiplayer component of COD4 was also unique. It was the first game centered more on CONSTANT movement and shit happening. Most games walk that fine line between strategy and action, trying to make it interesting and thoughtful at the same time. TF2 pulls it off perfectly, but COD4 went full-on action and removed a lot of the necessary "thinking" required to make it work. You can run around like a maniac and shoot shit and have tons of fun. It's adrenaline pumping and exciting.

I think the game that followed COD4 was Black-Ops. It was OK, but it was extremely similar to COD4 and lacked an immersive single-player plot. MW2 was more of the same. So was BO2. So is every fucking thing they fucking make now. It's sickening.

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I'm not even sure why these games are even being made. Oh wait, money.

COD is another franchise to follow Star Wars and Diablo path of corporate whoring out. It's like everything I hold sacred and anticipate a new release for just ends up sucking ass.


Edit" THAT FUCKING REMINDS ME: Diablo 3. Diablo 3 is the biggest disappointment of my entire life and if I ever get the motivation I'll make a Plinkett-esque review pointing out every fucking flaw in that game because it ruined my childhood.
 
Yeah, the first Modern Warfare was a glorious game. In fact, the earlier CoD games in general were pretty good. They had a distinctly anti-war theme, unlike the more recent games...
Anyway, not a fan of Minecraft (I loved it when I played it during Alpha, but I got fed up of it quickly). I've never liked Phoenix Wright or Professor Layton, even though many, many people love those games.
 
Quake II. It came out at a time when graphics cards were starting to become a requirement in PC gaming, and everyone jizzed their pants over YELLOW and GREEN lights! It was also the first game that iD made without John Romero (who is a little bit of a LOLcow himself.)

It had a decent engine and good net support, but the story and gameplay is just boring. It's the kind of game a focus group committee came up with.
 
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