💼 Careercow Jack Russell Scalfani / Cooking With Jack / Jack on the Go Show / jakatak - YouTube "Celebrity" "Chef", Living Encyclopedia of Gluttony-Induced Maladies, Salmonella Elemental

When will Jack drop dead?

  • February-March 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • April-May 2024

    Votes: 6 0.4%

  • June-July 2024

    Votes: 17 1.1%

  • August-September 2024

    Votes: 34 2.2%

  • October-November 2024

    Votes: 37 2.4%

  • December 2024

    Votes: 44 2.8%

  • Sometime in 2025

    Votes: 258 16.6%

  • Sometime in 2026

    Votes: 252 16.2%

  • Jack lives forever. The Wendigo Must Consoom

    Votes: 899 57.9%
  • Total voters
    1,553
Kuritan Deplorable said:
I wonder if he's already at the size where a normal bystander would struggle to help him clear his airway if he started choking. Once you get fat enough, trying to do what you're normally taught doesn't work and you gotta squeeze high up (I forget the name but I hereby dub it the heinz maneuver as extra ketchup mighta lubricated the problem away) instead to try and dislodge. Most people barely know the normal way, much less the fat fuck way.

I doubt it'll kill him, his brain doesn't actually use any of the oxygen it collects anymore, but a choking scare on a JOTG has got to be around the corner any day now.
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He's long past that point. That's supposed to be when a normal human can no longer get their arms around a person to get your hands together under their ribcage. Fatty is close to being as big around as he is tall by now, there isn't a chance Tammy or Brianna could do it.

But it gets worse. Remember, Fatty cannot walk. So unless he's already propped up leaning on something when it happens(assuming he doesn't immediately keel over), he will not be able to stand up to make it easier for someone to assist him. This means now having to reach around the damn scooty puff or whatever chair his fatass is in, or even worse get him out of the chair and having to wrestle him on the floor to render any kind of aid.
 
Ok disgusting TMI I know, but I tried eating my lunch like him by sticking out my tongue like some prehensile horror. I almost choked myself as bringing the tongue in brought the unchewed food to back of the throat. It also was too much food at one time.

I have no idea how someone could regularly eat by doing this.
 
Hate to be a doomer but I think the carnivore diet is going to be a disaster. He's been teetering on the edge of total body failure for years at this point, I cant imagine his luck carrying the 300 pounds of dead weight he calls a body much further once he's given himself over to undiluted wendigo feasting for every meal.
 
indomitable snowman said:
Ok disgusting TMI I know, but I tried eating my lunch like him by sticking out my tongue like some prehensile horror. I almost choked myself as bringing the tongue in brought the unchewed food to back of the throat. It also was too much food at one time.

I have no idea how someone could regularly eat by doing this.
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Jack is deepthroating it. He's eating like he was giving a blowjob.
 
Kuritan Deplorable said:
I wonder if he's already at the size where a normal bystander would struggle to help him clear his airway if he started choking. Once you get fat enough, trying to do what you're normally taught doesn't work and you gotta squeeze high up (I forget the name but I hereby dub it the heinz maneuver as extra ketchup mighta lubricated the problem away) instead to try and dislodge. Most people barely know the normal way, much less the fat fuck way.

I doubt it'll kill him, his brain doesn't actually use any of the oxygen it collects anymore, but a choking scare on a JOTG has got to be around the corner any day now.
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You'd need arms like an orangutan to be able to reach around to give him the Heimlich maneuver. Not to mention the power of one to physically move all that bulk.

Same story if you had to give him chest compressions to do CPR. He's already half dead already with his right side of his body completely fucked due to his inability to eat properly.

There comes a point when you need to cut your losses and just move on.

indomitable snowman said:
I have no idea how someone could regularly eat by doing this.
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I would have to imagine it's practice but the way he practically tongue fucks his food reminds me of how some women stick out their tongues when sucking a guy off especially if they want to take him down their throat. The more we go on, the more obvious that Jagoff is a repressed homosexual who transferred his love of cock to food.

VenomPlug said:
Jack is deepthroating it. He's eating like he was giving a blowjob.
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Exactly. See? I'm not alone in that idea.
 
Fascist Frederick said:
Jack put more effort behind that swallow than he's ever put into anything in his entire life. It's weird, it's like his swallowing problems are getting worse instead of better. He must not be praying hard enough.
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It would be funny if he actually finally literally does die trying to deep throat a hamburger eating it sideways.
 
Falcon Sebben said:
You'd need arms like an orangutan to be able to reach around to give him the Heimlich maneuver. Not to mention the power of one to physically move all that bulk.
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You can just to back blows, and I would gladly volunteer to do it. would be very cathartic.
 
Featured on Dec 5, 2023 by Null: Jack Scalfani has decided to adopt a Carnivore Diet in 2024 to help with his medical history of multiple strokes.
He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.
 
a terminal posture said:
He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.
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The wendigo demands juicy meats
 
Falcon Sebben said:
You'd need arms like an orangutan to be able to reach around to give him the Heimlich maneuver. Not to mention the power of one to physically move all that bulk.

Same story if you had to give him chest compressions to do CPR.
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I wonder if the algorithm, based on Jack or Tammy's medical-related internet searches, has ever recommended that they buy a LifeVac or DeChoker. They're rescue devices based on suction, and can even be self-administered (but not in Jack's case, since you need two working arms/hands). They have a multitude of verified successful uses.
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I wouldn't be surprised if an EMS crew relied on something like a LUCAS Chest Compression System if they ever responded to a call at Jack's location. The beefiest firefighter/paramedic on the crew would tire very quickly doing manual compressions. Lots of squads carry them nowadays. One interesting fact is that the patient's arms need to be strapped upwards along the sides of the device for it to work efficiently. Imagine having to strap in the dead arm, though ::horror::.
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A choking emergency with Jack would probably be some interesting shit to witness. Assuming it isn't total airway blockage, you'd probably hear some wendigo-esque noises from the meager airflow. I'd definitely pity the fellow diners the most if it happens in a restaurant for a Fat On The Go. It can be some very traumatic shit to watch if you're medically uninitiated, and even then it isn't pleasant (seen it twice: <10yo at a resort pool, >70yo at a country club). The panicked/hysterical relatives in the periphery don't make it a pretty scene either.

This is probably the worst/saddest example that I've read about (owing to the fact that it's too easy for me to visualize).
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Can't really imagine such a procedure working for Jack, either. That'd be a lotttttt of fatty neck to cut through. :tomgirl:
 
a terminal posture said:
He talks about his upcoming carnivore diet, whatever.
He's going to Universal Florida with some special VIP 'meetup' package that includes food and 10 kinds of butterbeer. Where do they get the money?
He's excited to try the green eggs and ham at the Dr Suess land, because he is 10 years old and green food coloring makes food taste better.
His next video is 'deer balls' with that woman protege of his.
Click to expand...

So, he's going to try the old "Fight fire with fire" theory of health, eh? That always turns out for the best...
 
Pig Cups said:
This is probably the worst/saddest example that I've read about (owing to the fact that it's too easy for me to visualize).
Screenshot 2023-12-02 at 1.14.18 PM.png
Can't really imagine such a procedure working for Jack, either. That'd be a lotttttt of fatty neck to cut through. :tomgirl:
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The saddest part of this is that they waited too long to do the tracheotomy, if they had done it sooner, he most likely would have pulled through. A crash tracheotomy using a steak knife is something no one ever fucking wants to do, literally ever, but, if you are going to do it, do it before his brain has been deprived of oxygen for more than 5 minutes. They spent way too much time on the heimlich maneuver. I can understand why they handled it the way they did, but its better to do something incredibly risky that may work than something that is and has not worked and then doing something when it is too late for any hope at all.
 
Fatty's just going to eat the same shit but pretend it's the diet honestly.

And again his loser brother really seems to love A-logging Jack to pretend he also isn't an embarrassing little deviant who likes to be whisper-praised by women on fucking ASMR videos.
 
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