Secret Gamer Girl / SecretGamerGrrl / Googleshng / "Violet Hargrave" / Jacob Lawrence (Jake) Alley / Violet Cassandra Ocean - Delusional Zoe Quinn Stalker, Libelous Tweeter, Thirsty Gnome, Faux-Tranny Neckbeard Incel, Micropenis, "Known Troubled Person", Creator of "Massive vs the Masses", Self-Described "Noise Making Thing"; Lives in Niantic, CT

This has probably been in the thread before:

Original: Jake Alley explains The Massive vs The Masses (2021, Indiana Convention Center)

Also, I just found this, a KF song for Jake:
Lucas Silva #4903141 said:
Anyways, here's a song about Jake Alley, aka, secretgamer "girl"
[Verse]
A fake persona, a fawking lie
Jake Alley, a man in disguise
Secret gamer girl, what a joke
You're on camera,
we know what you are!

[Chorus]
Secret gamer girl!
Delusional nerd,
Fat, bearded man,
Zoey Quinn stalker, a twisted affair
A libelous tweeter, beyond repair
Secret gamer girl! OH!

[Instrumental Break]

[Verse 2]
A desperate migration, to Bluesky's shore
Posting walls of text, a tedious chore
No one cares, Jake!
Try losing some weight!
You greasy, fat fawk!

[Chorus]
Secret gamer girl!
Delusional nerd,
Fat, bearded man,
Zoe Quinn stalker, a twisted affair
A libelous tweeter, beyond repair
Secret gamer girl!

[Outro]
Jake Alley!
You're not fooling me!
You're not fooling, the kiwi farms!
You're full of shed!
Keel yerself!
OH, SHED!

[Fade to End]
Click to expand...
View attachment 6720010
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Original: [Kiwifarms content] Jake Alley - SecretGamerGrrl AI song

Edit to add: Zach (Zinnia) has been getting a hard time of it on Bluesky lately over allegations of antisemitism. Jake rides in to the rescue.
a (1).png
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Zach reposted Jake's defense.
a (3).png
 
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Jake spent his day defending Zinnia's honor on Bluesky, largely by demanding evidence and then refusing to believe it.
These aren't properly in order and there are some duplicates.
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("and such" - a fan?)
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Jake got several blocks over all that.
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And was put on an "antisemites" list.
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Kosher Dill said:
I think he should have just gone to Lolcows, this thread is really more about cataloguing his own private delusions than watching him being a typical programmer-socks troon. I posted over in the meta thread saying as much.
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Poor Rat-King, it's not the subforum's fault that troons have no loyalty and constantly reform into different factions to attack each other. They're still a rat king, they just shed and gain new members depending on their latest transgressions.

I want to argue against the move, but it's hard to do; the original groups have all splintered and reconfigured, and it's more a GG-era relic. But I'll miss the name, because they really are a horrific entwinement of base creatures.
 
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Imago said:
View attachment 7155637

)
0:00 Outside of the box.
3:00 The rules.
6:50 The game pieces.
9:00 The cards
13:00 The board.
16:50 Final thoughts and review (R 2.5 out of 10)
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Yeah hold on, I missed this - you found an actual MVTM game in the wild? How far from Niantic was this? :lol:

Can't watch the whole thing right now but this has me rollin' already. "I hope nothing weird happens to him!"
 
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kazuhiro said:
Original: Jake Alley explains The Massive vs The Masses (2021, Indiana Convention Center)
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I somehow doubt he actually knew how long it would take to play this. 15-20 minutes? The deck is full of cards with multi-turn effects. Just the bookkeeping for that kind of thing is going to take up several minutes.

No way he playtested this (because he has no friends).
 
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Imago said:
View attachment 7155637

)
0:00 Outside of the box.
3:00 The rules.
6:50 The game pieces.
9:00 The cards
13:00 The board.
16:50 Final thoughts and review (R 2.5 out of 10)
Click to expand...
Excellent post! I review your review at 10/10. Literally lol'd when I realized what the final thoughts were about. Thanks for the time and effort you put into this amazing contribution. What do you plan on doing with the pewter figurine?
 
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Imago said:
View attachment 7155637

)
0:00 Outside of the box.
3:00 The rules.
6:50 The game pieces.
9:00 The cards
13:00 The board.
16:50 Final thoughts and review (R 2.5 out of 10)
Click to expand...
I noticed this would play as audio and not video on an older system, so here is a re-encode from H.265/HEVC/HVC1 to H.264/AVC1 using CRF 18, same container and same original audio.
Original file is ~90 MiB and this is ~23 MiB more at ~113 MiB.

 
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In the interest of preservation and discussion here are the scans of the MvM game.

The muddy blurry effect is not from my scanner. The board really is like that.

Can anyone identify the figurine?
 

Attachments

  • The Sea.png
    The Sea.png
    38 MB · Views: 45
  • Figure Top.JPG
    Figure Top.JPG
    1.7 MB · Views: 42
  • Figure Front.JPG
    Figure Front.JPG
    1.8 MB · Views: 35
  • Figure Back.JPG
    Figure Back.JPG
    1.7 MB · Views: 32
  • Army Stickers.png
    Army Stickers.png
    3.9 MB · Views: 37
  • MvMCards.pdf
    MvMCards.pdf
    8 MB · Views: 13
  • MvM Rules.pdf
    MvM Rules.pdf
    7.5 MB · Views: 15
  • Tokyo.png
    Tokyo.png
    36.3 MB · Views: 50
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Seriously, what the hell?

For the next 3 turns, Gamorzilla may not deal damage to any unit, unless it is dealing damage to at least 1 unit which moved or attacked the previous turn.
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For the next 3 turns, ignore the first 5 points of damage per turn inflicted on any Walk unit which has not moved or attacked since this card was played.
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You can move all your units, every turn. So you have to keep track of which units moved each turn, and which units haven't moved in the past 3 turns. This is insane.

The sharpie drawings are really bizarre too, considering he had access to computer graphics, however primitive.

EDIT: the HP vs damage is also nonsense. All the army units have 3HP or less, except the robot and death ray which have 10HP. But there's literally nothing in this game that deals less than 5HP damage. The only way for "The Masses" to survive an attack is to use the one card that gives 5HP damage reduction, or be one of the super units and tank one 5HP attack.
Why not just say "Gamorzilla kills anything he attacks, except the super units who can tank one weak attack"?
What's the point of "Atomic Fire Breath" dealing 20 damage? Even if you assume someone's playing head-to-head with multiple copies of the game, Jake specifically recommends against playing one Massive versus another.

EDIT2: Wait, "Swat Down" does 3 damage to flyers, but flyers also can't use the damage reduction (nor can the super units). So, still insta-kills every time.

Create 1 Death Ray anywhere in Toyko.
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Goddamnit Jake.
 
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kazuhiro said:
Birthday.
View attachment 7166561
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Not only does the video have almost 500x the views of Jake's most viewed video, I bet that he has directly given it more views than his most viewed video. Something about that is weirdly melancholy.

Kosher Dill said:
Seriously, what the hell?



You can move all your units, every turn. So you have to keep track of which units moved each turn, and which units haven't moved in the past 3 turns. This is insane.

The sharpie drawings are really bizarre too, considering he had access to computer graphics, however primitive.

EDIT: the HP vs damage is also nonsense. All the army units have 3HP or less, except the robot and death ray which have 10HP. But there's literally nothing in this game that deals less than 5HP damage. The only way for "The Masses" to survive an attack is to use the one card that gives 5HP damage reduction, or be one of the super units and tank one 5HP attack.
Why not just say "Gamorzilla kills anything he attacks, except the super units who can tank one weak attack"?
What's the point of "Atomic Fire Breath" dealing 20 damage? Even if you assume someone's playing head-to-head with multiple copies of the game, Jake specifically recommends against playing one Massive versus another.

EDIT2: Wait, "Swat Down" does 3 damage to flyers, but flyers also can't use the damage reduction (nor can the super units). So, still insta-kills every time.


Goddamnit Jake.
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Jake definitely intended to release more factions. He offhandedly mentioned something about a Moleman expansion, maybe one of them was going to have more than 20 HP.

Imago said:
Can anyone identify the figurine?
Click to expand...
I mean, I'm 80% sure it's some 3rd-party Gamera pewter figurine. I'm 19% sure that it's an authentic Gamera pewter figurine. 1% chance it's anything else.
 
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