🍗 Deathfat Anna o' Brien / Glitter + Lazers / GlitterandLazers - Fat, drunk, consoomer attention whore who would rather eat and drink herself to death than endure a single negative emotion

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...did anybody else just see this as an optical illusion/ upside down face and got spooked? Picture from the crypt
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thejackal2 said:
The hike is rated as easy and it's only 1200 feet gain. This is a beginner level hike for anybody but a deathfat. Regular fatties do this sort of hike all the time, takes them awhile, but they do it, rather easily at the end. She's making it seem like this is some grueling 7 mile hike with 3500 feet gain through a bushwack or something. Koko head is not this. It's a fucking staircase.
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But it’s the FULL EVOLUTION OF HER LIFE TO CLIMB IT!!!!

We all find meaning in different ways, but good Lord, to be satisfied by climbing a staircase?

Whether you find meaning in your family, your career, your religion, your art, you’re probably not fucking up by picking one of those. But a FLIGHT OF STAIRS. Fucking loser-tier goals right there.

Is this the same staircase where she changed into an ugly dress to take pics midway up?
 
Poopfart said:
HAHAHAHA SURFING????

Anna is by far my fave cow, she is so fucking delusional.
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There's a type of surfboard for fatties called big guy surfboards. The max weight limit on those is 300lb. It is impossible due to the laws of physics to make a surfboard support any more weight than that. You would be getting into the territory of creating a giant rectangle of wood that can't handle a single wave.
 
And she will accomplish none of them… except maybe the cooking class. She will not climb, she will not dance, she will not surf— she can’t even get her feet under her body for the take off)

GenociderSyo said:
Back in 2013 Anna made these goals while at 317 lbs. Let's see if she met any of them.
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  • Wear a bikini in public ( and look sexified)
  • Eliminate the dreaded “chub rub”
  • Remember what full feels like. Not stuffed. Not hungry. Full.
  • Ride on an airplane with the armrest down and have room to spare.
  • Meet Mr “Maybe Dark, Definitely Tall, and of Course Ridiculously Handsome”
  • By clothes in a exceptionally expensive store and not have the sales associate give me the “bitch please” look
  • Learn to like the taste of water
  • Sit crossed legged or cross my legs and be comfortable
  • Run a mile with out running out of breath
  • Dye my hair a ridiculous color ( Blue? Purple? Pink?)
  • Get a puppy and name him data, after Goonies, not Star Trek
  • Build an adult size cardboard bo
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Kinda looks like she already attempted an aerial class and then there was the pole dancing in Vegas. Has she just forgotten? Oh, wait it’s in her “new” “changed” body so it doesn’t count. That’s like claiming a road trip to the Grand Canyon doesn’t count because you’re now driving a different car.
 
thejackal2 said:
The hike is rated as easy and it's only 1200 feet gain. This is a beginner level hike for anybody but a deathfat. Regular fatties do this sort of hike all the time, takes them awhile, but they do it, rather easily at the end. She's making it seem like this is some grueling 7 mile hike with 3500 feet gain through a bushwack or something. Koko head is not this. It's a fucking staircase.
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Alltrails says it’s somewhat challenging. For a reasonably fit person it is doable for a 500+ lb deathfat who can only do 4 MINUTES on a stair master it’s a pipe dream. The beginning is relatively flat and it gets much steeper toward the end. At one point there is a very steep bridge that many people have to use their hands for, there’s no way she’s doing that. Plus it’s hot and humid. I went when i did not regularly work out, but could walk/ hike for multiple miles on relatively flat ground, and i tapped out at aforementioned bridge. I was a normal bmi female with a sedentary lifestyle. Anna would have to TRAIN for this. Diamond head would be easier but still too many stairs for her.
xivnuhranx said:
There's a type of surfboard for fatties called big guy surfboards. The max weight limit on those is 300lb. It is impossible due to the laws of physics to make a surfboard support any more weight than that. You would be getting into the territory of creating a giant rectangle of wood that can't handle a single wave.
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even if the board could support her weight she is not going have the strength to be able to paddle herself in order to catch the wave.

When it comes to kayaking, how is she getting in and out and physically fitting into it, even if it is rated to 500 lbs or whatever.

I agree everything is pretty much a pipe dream or something she could do before but im here to see her try it all.

Edit- i found her hawaii hiking video. Last time she barely finished diamond head and it took her 1.5 hours to get half way on koko head. She seems fatter and much less active than back then but i guess she has convinced herself all her physical limitations were due to lipedema and not being super morbidly obese and sedentary.
 
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ghjoigcbn said:
Alltrails says it’s somewhat challenging. For a reasonably fit person it is doable for a 500+ lb deathfat who can only do 4 MINUTES on a stair master it’s a pipe dream. The beginning is relatively flat and it gets much steeper toward the end. At one point there is a very steep bridge that many people have to use their hands for, there’s no way she’s doing that. Plus it’s hot and humid. I went when i did not regularly work out, but could walk/ hike for multiple miles on relatively flat ground, and i tapped out at aforementioned bridge. I was a normal bmi female with a sedentary lifestyle. Anna would have to TRAIN for this. Diamond head would be easier but still too many stairs for her.
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Agreed. Koko Head is probably listed as “easy” because it’s not technically very challenging, but it requires a moderately high level of fitness to do without much trouble. It’s basically like doing the stairmaster for an hour. Soldiers go there to run up the steps for training. (And side note, it has the best views on the island - I highly recommend it).

I honestly think that Hawaii trip (and the hikes in particular) was the narc injury to end all narc injuries for Anna. Reality itself stepped in and smacked her down. Everything she’s done since then has been in direct response to it.
 
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GenociderSyo said:
Anna's fake faces while talking about a dying baby will bring all the MATI to the schoolyard
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Wow, no kidding, Anna's overperformative malding is bordering on mockery. And all in regards to a story about a woman's sick baby? Regardless of what seed forced Anna's inability to behave in social situations to blossom, it is in dire need of uprooting. What the fuck are these stupid faces?
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xivnuhranx said:
There's a type of surfboard for fatties called big guy surfboards. The max weight limit on those is 300lb. It is impossible due to the laws of physics to make a surfboard support any more weight than that. You would be getting into the territory of creating a giant rectangle of wood that can't handle a single wave.
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NEAR...FAR...WHEREEEEVAAAARRR YOUU AAAARE...

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It’s hard to imagine a goal easier than liking the taste of water or crossing your legs, but it’s only been 13 years, give it time.

If I could choose a goal for her it’d be learn to bathe, including washing hair, every day. She doesn’t even have to taste the water, just get under it. I know it’s a crazy dream but somebody has to think big.

I’m just surprised she doesn’t want to go to Everest base camp.
 
Anna cannot rock climb.
Rock climbing is about weight to power, balance and skill.
Auto belay devices go up to 150kg max but I’ve never seen anyone fat climbing, it’s hard enough if you’re slim. I’ve belayed guys who weighed far more than me, but if they fall, your feet are leaving the ground even if you catch them well and there’s a limit to weight difference .
A fall at her weight would likely cause serious spinal injury to the person belaying her, as well as her. She’d rip out any gear even if it was fixed on a route.
She isn’t fitting in a kayak. If she loses half her weight she could get in an open canoe and that’d be great exercise (low impact, fresh air..)
She should be aiming to swim and go water aerobics
 
Barbarella said:
I’m just surprised she doesn’t want to go to Everest base camp.
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I heard a rumor that people can no longer climb Everest unless they've completed some significant climb previously. I have no doubt that there are ways around this ($$$) but it's about goddamn time they do a little gatekeeping over there.
Still, sad that we'll never see our gorl heffalumping and crying at the airport before she even gets near any kind of climb, or snorting and horse-kicking when a man tries to show her how to use an oxygen tank. Followed by Anna's heart just spontaneously exploding
 
lottalove said:
...did anybody else just see this as an optical illusion/ upside down face and got spooked? Picture from the crypt
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Yess, I didn't know what I was looking on at first!

ETA1: Maybe Kilimanjaro, it is supposed to be easier, I would so watch it! But I don't think they make climbing equipement Anna'size.
Ragen Chastain during her Iron Man preparations had a custom made swimming suit and was raging that there are no triathlon clothes for deathfats lol.

ETA2: Yeah Anna, blue baby not able to breath is the same struggle as your lipoedema, just love her condescending head nods as if she's in the same boat.
 
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I really don't want to pl too much but as someone who did these activities, rock climbing and surfing for Anna are literally, factually less likely than Chantal getting to Everest base camp. Anna can't climb up a boat ladder and look at her here, the effort to move this thing side to side, with I think her weight not even really on it.
 

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Comments under the insta post

- she is considering turning koko head and other goals into meetups
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She admits she has trouble getting up from the ground
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She also wants to ski which is funny but also terrifying
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Anna Take #1: I should try skiing and snowboarding and surfing!

Anna Take #2: I can’t rise from a sitting position on the floor under my own power!

I get that she’s just seeking out asspats and will never accomplish any of these goals, including the floor one but that she truly thinks she’s capable, that this is just a matter of what exactly? Money? Accommodations? Wishing really, really hard? Because gravity and anatomy certainly don’t factor in.
 
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