💪 Tough Guys Patrick Sean Tomlinson / @stealthygeek / "Torque Wheeler" / @RealAutomanic / Kempesh / Padawan v2.5 - "Conservative" sci-fi author with TDS, armed "drunk with anger management issues" and terminated parental rights, actual tough guy, obese, paid Quasi, paid thousands to be repeatedly unbanned from Twitter

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Gonna post this from the brothermen, as Rick just retweeted this without assuming this shit is fake. Nice try, stupid :story:
That was his umpteenth amount of bullshit retweets now.
 
OffTopic said:
First of all.
Don't ever double-quote me with April ever again. You got that? You jew motherfucker you? The only reason you exist out here is because of ME!
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Jew? Me? lol

Relax, I was just quoting the show.

OffTopic said:
Second of all.
If my third-world shitbox forum goes down again, one more time this month, I'm going to shit my diaper so fawkin hard you niggers will never see the light of day.

FAWKIN THING SUCKS!
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Sounds like your guys gotta pay da rent, da rent, da rent!
 
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Patrick's reading of his Tiny Tim Fingers his Bum novel has been found at long last. Behold as he struggles to read the words he wrote himself. 35:10
 
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Even disregarding the faggot message on his shirt, is this man just completely incapable of buying clothes that fit? Is he so rooted in his insistence he hasn’t increased in adipose tissue that he believes he can wear a large years into needing an xxl? Users were speculating on his income, maybe he can’t afford new clothes.

In an event where everyone involved was fat or gay, Fatrick somehow manages to be the fattest and the gayest.

Edit: even through Fatrick’s inability to recite his written work to a crowd of hundreds dozens at least four (didn’t he liken himself a stand-up comic?), his story comes across as incredibly bland. He wastes Scrooge realizing he’s dead by outright describing the experience of being a ghost while including no actual characterization beyond flatly stating the end of the real novel. Tim’s dialogue falls into Fatrick’s faux-Dickinson English at random despite the more modern construction of the rest of the prose. The section he reads, presumably the introduction to the book, invokes no suspense or intrigue to actually capture a reader. It’s super clear the other participants actually practiced whereas Fatrick expected just just get up and read. Also, Fatrick clicks his tongue a lot it’s obnoxious.
 
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Please don’t miss the intro he gets where the emcee reads his “author bio” that covers his houseplants and Ford Mustang. The absurdity is off the charts and thus my gut is busted irreparably.
 
Teknorat said:
https://youtube.com/watch?v=tQOEA7B24mE:2109
Patrick's reading of his Tiny Tim Fingers his Bum novel has been found at long last. Behold as he struggles to read the words he wrote himself. 35:10
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So much to cover.

- Makes owning a Mustang and a Triumph part of his introduction spiel.
- Knows he is going to be on stage in front of people, wears a tshirt that fit him when Bush was in the White House.
- He’s so smug about how clever he thinks writing is, the sign of a midwit.
- Cribbing your opening line directly from the other, better, book is hot. Like swamp ass hot. It’s always a great idea to remind your audience they could be reading something far better.
- Kids at school poetry recitals do a better job with line delivery. He never attempts to make eye contact with the audience, constantly stumbles over his words, never pauses where appropriate.
- The story itself is as dogshit as one can expect, one of those narratives that goes it one ear and out the other.
- It’s not twopence, it’s pronounced tuppence, fucking rube.
- Everything is purple prose, why use one word when you can use seven?
- Using the term ‘city blocks’ in relation to London city planning. Only city in the UK with ‘blocks’ is Milton Keynes and everyone makes fun of it for that. Remember when he was going on and on about how much historical research he did.
- He cannot write dialogue to save his life, everything is just question-answer. Doesn’t help that his delivery is dogshit.
- ‘Guv’nor’, ‘thine’, ‘bloke’ and other pointless ‘Britishisms’ he thinks add flavor but just sound jilted.
- The moment he gets to the end of his excerpt he flounces off stage without a moments pause, probably had a streak of piss running down his leg from nerves.
- There is nothing memorable about what he has written here. It sells itself entirely upon the premise but it’s simply not a strong enough hook, especially when combined with Pats turgid writing style.

There is no way this thing will ever be published.
 
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