Ana Valens / Anastasia Catherine Wythe / Phil Wythe / Philip Stephen Wythe / @SpaceDoctorPhD / @acvalens / @ac_valens - MtF transtrender extraordinaire, formerly a freelance "journalist" for The Daily Dot; but now works for Kotaku, SJW, professional liar and social rouser, CatParty's favorite blogger

kazuhiro said:

Phil has an "Important Announcement" for the world.

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How long until he realizes he won't make money out of this and Empress Leto Dia becomes Empress Left to Die?

grim

It's so hard to put myself in the place of someone who would ever actually want to see or hear any of his porn content ever. Occasionally, I think I might check out his bluesky and see if he's posting anything funny or dramatic, and seeing his gross anime furry giant vore shit just make me nope right out. It's actually an effective troll shield.
And he's sitting there utterly baffled at what kind of wild illuminati conspiracy must be behind him not finding tons of customers dying to pay for it? So insane, it's like wondering why the laundromat isn't paying you for the privilege of washing your soiled boxers. "This economic model makes no sense!"

Magic Pickle said:

Phil finds the backbreaking labor of making online audio porn difficult to cope with when tightwad perverts aren't eager to line his pockets;

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There is only one answer to this.

Mizafuginmike said:

It's so hard to put myself in the place of someone who would ever actually want to see or hear any of his porn content ever.

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Even if you did like the extreme niche Phil covers, why not go for any of the other trans women in the same/similar niche? Because Ana's Bluesky is obviously a world of whining and constant tard posting, there's no parasocial online GF dominatrix persona to latch on to. He's just sub par. He wants to skinwalk a twitch thot into extreme sex that everyone loves or loves to hate, but instead he's stuck crying into his unwashed sheets at night that no one wants to have sex with someone so fucking vile. Fitting.

AMHOLIO said:

He wants to skinwalk a twitch thot into extreme sex that everyone loves or loves to hate, but instead he's stuck crying into his unwashed sheets at night that no one wants to have sex with someone so fucking vile. Fitting.

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That's the thing, and I bet it's fucking killing him inside: He could effortlessly switch between posting bedrot updates and providing smut, and have a legion of retards simping for him and going "omg queen u deserve better!"
However, he is not a woman. He will never get to experience being a girl on the internet. He will receive mutual aid and reassurances from fellow hons, but the compliments ring hollow.

Magic Pickle said:

he is so desperate for anyone to recognize his contributions to the world of erotic ASMR he is literally begging people to give his work a chance.

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Ok, I'll bite, who is "erotic ASMR" aimed for? I was always under the assumption that men generally preferred visual stimulation, such as watching porn while women generally prefer erotic books. It's too cringe to even think about what market he's trying to capture. Gay men who want to listen to a tranny voice whisper into their ear?

He was a journalist at some point so I'm assuming he can write coherently enough to write erotica and I know women go crazy for that shit on tiktok. Why not just try to capture the plethora of liberal women on #smuttok who enjoy that sort of degeneracy instead of toiling away fruitlessly on bluesky.

His tweet about trying to break the glass ceiling of audio porn made me laugh. You're doing a great job honey! Keep up the good work.

Hanging Tree said:

He was a journalist at some point so I'm assuming he can write coherently enough to write erotica and I know women go crazy for that shit on tiktok. Why not just try to capture the plethora of liberal women on #smuttok who enjoy that sort of degeneracy instead of toiling away fruitlessly on bluesky.

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He has written erotica before, and it was predictably bad. Phil doesn't understand women, especially not well enough to even try writing something women might find appealing. Nor does he have any interest in understanding women. His sexual interests revolve around his own pleasure exclusively; I think writing about heterosexual banging where a woman actually enjoyed the sex would kill him

ICraveDeath said:

He has written erotica before, and it was predictably bad. Phil doesn't understand women, especially not well enough to even try writing something women might find appealing.

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Apparently you're not familiar with his Macaroni In a Pot Project.

Mizafuginmike said:

Macaroni In a Pot Project.

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As always, I underestimate troon depravity. So this dumbass listened to WAP by Carbi B and thought "you know what would go great with these nonsensical lyrics? Troon on woman rape."
I'm glad he's suffering and not able to understand how to get himself out of this financial situation. You reap what you sow Phil. Your degeneracy is your own undoing.

I've been under the weather and thus have not been keeping as abreast upon Phil's actions, but we have a very special entry for today as he took to Bluesky with great furor and umbrage in regards to newly-birthed lolcow Jordan Williams, AKA Momo Yanagi.

Phil's coverage of the Momo Yanagi situation, presented with as much bias as you might anticipate from a similarly deranged tranny who feels he may be next on the chopping block.
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... But his coverage soon ends when he realizes that his own personal reputation gets in the way of anyone taking what he has to say on the matter seriously. I'm sure it'll surprise you that he blames transphobia once again for nobody giving him the credit he feels he's due on his expertise.
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And what did that alleged harassment of a stunning and brave transwomyn look like? Well, luckily Phil isn't shy about showcasing screenshots of the users in question who hurt his fee-fees, Yes, this is the level of "hatred" and "vitriol" poor li'l Phil must suffer on a routine basis!
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Ever the scholar, Phil has some theories about the current censorial zeitgeist overtaking the internet while also letting us know about his opinions on whether an interest in children merits psychological evaluation.
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Thinking more internationally, Phil has concerns about what Yanagi's arrest could mean for the "loli lewdtubers" of Australia, another country enforcing crackdowns on sexual topics relating to children (such as the case of Lauren Mastrosa, who was found guilty of writing CSEM by making a daddy/daughter kink book which the kangaroos didn't take too kindly to).
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But it seems that Phil's time under his current account is over. Oh, no, he's not quitting Bluesky, especially not when the users on there pay his way as an eternally unemployable weirdo! He's simply moving to a different handle - no longer acvalens.com but now acvalens.net - and it's presumably to bypass the fact that Clearsky claims he is blocked by 3,046 users on his main, yet only 223 users on his dot-net. Hm, that's crazy, I thought bypassing blocks was considered poor form...?
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Magic Pickle said:

while also letting us know about his opinions on whether an interest in children merits psychological evaluation.

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"I'm attracted to drawings of young anime girls."
"Here's a number for a psychologist who specializes in pedophilia."
"IT'S NOT PEDOPHILLA!!!!"

Magic Pickle said:

Lauren Mastrosa,

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She was recently sentenced to 18 months probation and has to register as a sex offender for 8 years

You'd think Phil would be all for the UK using a tranny's chosen name on the bail, it's so affirming.
Kirsche is enjoying the schadenfreude though:

I mean, credit where it's due, it's not easy to stick to your principles, especially when they're so fucking retarded and universally despised.

Lads if I ever even look like I'm about to have a social media crashout trying to guilt trip people to buy my shitty audio porn take me out back and give me the ol yeller treatment