Disaster GMC Made The Hummer X For Me And My Climbing Polycule, And We Don't Want It - "Fucking Gay," Declares Tranny

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There's been a lot of talk around the Jalopnik Slack about who the Slate Pickup is for, with its spartan features and do-it-yourself ethos, and the answer always comes back the same — perverts, specifically of the maker variety. But GMC took that targeting one step further with its Hummer X concept; taking the DIY and modularity sides, adding to them a healthy dash of offroad prowess, and targeting a single, solitary pervert: Me. This is an SUV for me and the cadre of gorgeous polyamorous transgender women I rock climb with, and we don't want it.

The Hummer X is for "the 'builder maker' – someone who doesn't just drive a vehicle; they build it, modify it, and share it with a community that gets it." That's me, a woman whose tiny Brooklyn bedroom contains a full set of power tools, a mechanic's tool set, a 3D printer, a small wood shop, a set of electronics repair tools, and six action cameras. GMC also says it's built around the "Take nothing but pictures, leave nothing but footprints" ethos, which speaks to me as a rock climber and lover of the natural world. Even Daniel and Andy agree, this car is built for me and the adjacent polycules. But I polled the gorgeous transfem climbers with whom I surround myself. I talked to exes, people I'm semi-seeing, interested parties, and plain ol' friends. Responses to the Hummer X included "Who is this for," "I think its silly," "That car looks it was ai generated in 2022,"and perhaps most succinctly, "oh i f*cking hate this."

The Hummer X is just so comical in its appearance, so absurd in its proportions, so fragile in its masculinity, that we can't take it seriously. It seems more built for appearance than for practicality, which of course, as a concept, it is — Logan and Daniel may be convinced this is coming to market, but I'll eat my hat if something this wild-looking ever shows up on dealership floors. The concept of an REI-core modular electric SUV is a good one, but this execution just doesn't appeal.

I love the Rivian R1S and the Slate Pickup, I actively want a vehicle big enough to haul my friends to the crag, I should be an easy score for GMC here. Yet the design has driven me, and the trans women I climb with, away. I want to make my own car parts, but I don't want to make them for this — give me a Slate any day.
 
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Never thought I'd see something uglier than a Cybertruck. Hummer helped bankrupt GM last time so looks like it's time for round 2.
 
The real issue with this thing is that it's absurdly expensive and weighs just shy of five fucking tons.

I can't wait for the first boomer to mistake the gas for the brake (again) and full send this 9500 pound/900 hp misshapen lump of steel, plastic and inextinguishable battery fire into the checkout counter of a fucking gas station.
 
Munchin' on Some Grindage said:
Isn't that what Jeep people do? I don't know, I don't own a fucking Jeep but the people I do see seem really into them.
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The modern ones are overpriced plastic shit but the ones that were in military service up until the 80's will embarrass any offroad vehicle short of a trophy truck. The old Willies Jeeps and Ford Mutts are so light they'll take on any terrain without sinking into it and getting stuck like a modern offroader.
 
I I I I I.

Is this an article or an editorial? Because articles aren't about the reporter. The word "I" should never appear in an article unless it's a quote from another person, never from the reporter.
 
Pendulous Dong said:
the cadre of gorgeous polyamorous transgender women I rock climb with
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I can't think of anything more on the schnozz for Jalopnik than hiring a polycule troon to write articles about how much he hates cars (presumably with an exception for some quirk chungus-mobile that's useless at everything but getting attention).

Since @KiwiFuzz2 already included the goblin's picture, here's the fat mexican troon he probably replaced, when the last batch of Le Epic pReddit misfits spun off from Jalopnik to form "The Autopian":
The Amazing Mongrel said:
Special thanks to @Mikoyan for the push to look into this site. I was not disappointed.

Mercedes Streeter
Xitter
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I looked up Jalopnik, the website that this article is from, and it's a 21 year old website dedicated to cars.
That being said, what the fuck is this article? Half of it is about the sex weirdo that wrote it, the car seems to be an afterthought.
Can these fuckers stop inserting themselves into everything they do?
 
Pendulous Dong said:
The Hummer X is for "the 'builder maker' – someone who doesn't just drive a vehicle; they build it, modify it, and share it with a community that gets it." That's me, a woman whose tiny Brooklyn bedroom contains a full set of power tools, a mechanic's tool set, a 3D printer, a small wood shop, a set of electronics repair tools, and six action cameras.
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No one who lives in Brooklyn builds anything.

A full set of power tools is not a Home Depot-special electric screwdriver, a $200 FDM printer, an Aliexpress soldering iron, and an Insta360.
 
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