Peter Coffin, his realdoll/fake girlfriend Kimi Kobayashi, and his estranged wife Ashleigh Coffin - Cis Male Cuck, Pretend Agender; Kicks Self in Balls, Sockpuppeted as Own GF, RAPE APOLOGIST, plus his ex-wife

Basically hit the nail right on the head here, I think. Even if they installed live feed cameras in their home and broadcast them 24/7 on the internet you'd still have people coming up with stuff. In fact, the theories would probably double. Was that a ghost? Is the Coffin house haunted? Why didn't Peter turn on the light in the closet when he went to grab the broom? What's he hiding in there??
to be fair tho
1) these pictures were all fucking weird
2) there was literally no evidence of them being together
3) it took him like 2 months to make that video

i'm not even a conspiracy nut, but it's really funny that he'd respond at all if it weren't true.
 
to be fair tho
1) these pictures were all fucking weird
2) there was literally no evidence of them being together
3) it took him like 2 months to make that video

i'm not even a conspiracy nut, but it's really funny that he'd respond at all if it weren't true.

There wasn't much evidence for the PI story or the realdoll either. Coffin at least had some circumstantial evidence for Ashleigh being his wife. Yes, the pictures were weird, but so are humans in general. The same boobs that look huge in a pushup bra and a tight shirt look normal sized in an everyday bra and long-sleeved shirt, hunching forward to look at a camera. Wires from her hanging from a hook on the ceiling or the shadows being cast by the stand she's being held up by would've been more convincing evidence for her being a doll than just "she's standing weird". Maybe she was trying for a certain look, god knows I've experimented with poses for selfies before, or maybe she's just one of those people who are just kind of awkward. Pretty, but awkward. I don't know.

I can't say he's absolutely right about everything, but so far I see no reason to believe anyone's account over his.
 
to be fair tho
1) these pictures were all fucking weird
2) there was literally no evidence of them being together
3) it took him like 2 months to make that video

i'm not even a conspiracy nut, but it's really funny that he'd respond at all if it weren't true.

The most likely scenario to me is that after his earlier girlfriend was fake, Coffin manufactured a scenario where people would doubt his current relationship only to conclusively prove them wrong.
 
He kicked himself in the balls to get on TV, Peter is more than dumb enough to believe that "Hurr Durr, I was only pretending to be retarded, you guys are dumb for believing me" is actually an epic :ruse:

I'm in this camp. If there's anything we can all safely conclude is that Coffin loves attention from strangers on the Internet, no matter how idiotic the reasons for said attention.
 
  • Agree
Reactions: The Lone Wanderer
And what, exactly, is happening to him? A bunch of people prying into his life that he basically goaded them into doing? No, he's a pretty disgusting person for reasons other people have mentioned. If invasion of privacy to an extent that is really, really, really tame compared to other lolcows (do we even believe the PI story?) is the worst that's happening to him, well. I can't say I feel particularly bad for poor old Peter.

Edit: Not saying he deserves it, per se, but I just can't seem to find any fucks to give about how he feels about all this.
Yes it's deserving in the sense he should have expected it, not that he had a bunch of bad karma he needed to cash in.
 
Gotta love the lolcow community.

We've gone from being damned sure she was a realdoll, then a few weeks later, its like we've forgotten we even accused that and now debate on whether she needs jaw surgery or not.

By this point, I'm calling Peter and Ashleigh innocent. Both act like retards on the internet, but hey, look at me. Its commonplace.
 
Jesus fucking christ. I've gone through this whole thread in one sitting. I wanted to get off around page 28, but couldn't get off despite the headaches. I think this thing has given me the 'spergers.

Also. I'm new here, but I kind of figure that OPL refers to Chris, but what does it stand for?

Going to cry myself to sleep now.
 
This should be a thriller horror movie where it turns out coffins wife is a real doll but brought to life by some sort of curse. And she feeds on the souls of those trying to figure out what's really going on.

Peter coffin in: The Real Doll
 
This should be a thriller horror movie where it turns out coffins wife is a real doll but brought to life by some sort of curse. And she feeds on the souls of those trying to figure out what's really going on.

Peter coffin in: The Real Doll

That or Ashleigh is actually the protagonist of the story. Because of some heinous deed she committed, inflicting everlasting guilt on her, she has been punished by being married to a dumpy retard and cursed to look like a RealDoll. Only by convincing someone she really exists can she break the curse and escape the aptly-named Coffin in which she is buried. But the terms of the curse prohibit doing anything a normal, sane person would do to prove this, such as appearing in public or outside of shitty looking highly processed digital video with a half-dozen filters applied, rendering anything she appears in looking completely fake, despite actually being real.

Hey, maybe this isn't fiction.
 
lol:

http://theralphretort.com/peter-coffin-lulz-fest-continues-alleged-sockpuppet-outed-2018015/

patheticpete11.png


Peter Coffin Lulz Fest Continues, Alleged Sockpuppet Outed


"Alright, so here’s the back story: I was tired of seeing Peter coffin pimping his GoFundMe for a jaw surgery on a RealDoll. So I tweeted and asked him if he had a concious and he didn’t really reply but this middle aged woman did. We argued back and forth, with me asking him to post the uncropped version of the pic on his GoFundMe.

That was yesterday. I was just going to let it rest, UNTIL, space dad decided to jump in and act like an asshole and tweet something snarky. So I hopped back into the argument, and out of curiosity checked her TL. Every 2nd or 3rd tweet was her pimping the GoFundMe link for Peter. I did just a quick Google search of her name, city, state since they were in her Twitter profile. No results for anything. No Facebook, no LinkedIn, not even Spokeo.

So I grew suspicious. Someone posted a honeypot and grabbed an IP from the woman. It came up outside Chicago. Then that same someone did a reverse image search on her avatar and it came back with a completely different name. As soon as those results were posted, Peter nuked the account. If it hadn’t been for space dad making that snarky fucking comment, Peter would have gotten away with it."
 
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