Personal Lolcows - Lolcows in your personal life.

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I hate to admit, but my dad has some lolcowish leanings. Mostly in that he's a staunch creationist.

He's generally an okay guy, but he hates nature documentaries for "trying to equate animals to humans." Oh, and putting feathers on dinosaurs to make it look like birds evolved from them. Conspiracy, maaaan!

His only sources are Spongekent Hovindpants and other such loons, and has basically admitted to being closed minded to counter arguments. He believes that creation "scientists" are discriminated against, and make up some kind of revolution within the scientific community to challenge evolutionist dogma. He insists that "macro-evolution" is really an anti-God cabal. Mentioning that there are scientists who believe in God and clergy who believe in evolution has no effect on his tin foil hat covered brain.

When he found out I accepted the scientific fact of evolution, he told me I was "unintelligent," and that he was "disappointed because he thought I was a thinker." Ow, the irony! He uses lots of funny analogies in debates, like saying evolution is the same as saying a couch evolved from a bicycle, or that maybe humans evolved from bears. Also, his big claim is that there's no evidence of species-to-species evolution. Even though we find more links pretty much everyday.

The sad thing is, my dad is a successful engineer and mechanical designer for a living, so he's too smart for his own beliefs. He's also been good friends with gay people and an Atheist pot head who's banned from Canada.
 
This fella, who I will call Benito, is an amazing trainwreck of a person.

I read all 3 of your posts on Benito.. This is fantastic! Its incredibly disgusting, but I think we can all feel better about ourselves by comparison. So how big was he back in high school or whenever most of these stories take place?
 
Oh, he actually has genuine problems breathing as is. He once said that breathing was hard even when he was sitting doing nothing. He also has the worst case of sleep apnea I've ever heard; he sounds like he's choking to death whenever he sleeps.
I have to wonder when he got as fat as he is. I mean it has to be much longer than before you even heard of the guy.

Anyways, let me tell you about this guy I go to work with. I'mma call him Frans. I've been at my current job as hotel cleaner for a little over a year by this point and this guy feels, at least to me, like a very mean person. The main problems I have with him are his attitude and his actions. Especially the actions. There's time where I've been in the same room with him, and I don't know if he knows I'm there or doesn't care, but he likes to smack his lips while he eats. Loudly (as in I can hear him from across the room). The other is that he sings in this voice that reminds me of my other, longstanding lolcow. And to call it dreadful is an understatement. I've also caught him staring right at me numerous times while on my lunch break. *yawn*

His behavior isn't much better- He always sounds like he's got a stick up his ass. Even when he claims to be in a good mood, he sounds like someone who got on his bad side. I've gotten into a few arguments with him about how I do things (did I mention that we're in different departments at our job?) Once I tried to help in the department he was working in (laundry), and he called me out on it. After the other people working there allowed me to help out.

On top of it all, the other workers hate him too. They all think of him as annoying and mean-spirited. I've even heard a story about an event that happened before I even joined. Apparently, there was this one worker who quit because of him. And the person in question? The daughter of the building's owner. I shit you not. I'm kinda appalled as to why he was never fired over that incident. Then again, given how many times I've gotten sick, I'm surprised I've never got fired.
 
I have to wonder when he got as fat as he is. I mean it has to be much longer than before you even heard of the guy.

Anyways, let me tell you about this guy I go to work with. I'mma call him Frans. I've been at my current job as hotel cleaner for a little over a year by this point and this guy feels, at least to me, like a very mean person. The main problems I have with him are his attitude and his actions. Especially the actions. There's time where I've been in the same room with him, and I don't know if he knows I'm there or doesn't care, but he likes to smack his lips while he eats. Loudly (as in I can hear him from across the room). The other is that he sings in this voice that reminds me of my other, longstanding lolcow. And to call it dreadful is an understatement. I've also caught him staring right at me numerous times while on my lunch break. *yawn*

Its so disgusting when someone smacks a lot... Ever since I was a kid that disgusted me. My wife does it once in awhile and I give her a death stare. At the workplace like this guy, you can't really do that.. So it can really ruin a lunchbreak for me.
 
Its so disgusting when someone smacks a lot... Ever since I was a kid that disgusted me. My wife does it once in awhile and I give her a death stare. At the workplace like this guy, you can't really do that.. So it can really ruin a lunchbreak for me.
Did I mention that this sort of shit occurs in the morning. Mornings are really not a good time for me (more so since I have to wake up early). So you can understand how annoyed I can get at that time.
 
All this talk of Lolcows has reminded me of several people. This guy is more of a Horrorcow than a Lolcow, at least in retrospect. I'll start from the beginning....

Back in middle school, I am a bit of an outcast since I'm both a nerd and a new kid. The band kids took me in, it seems the band group harbored all of the intellectual social outcasts. Although I wasn't in band myself, most of these guys were and were pretty open minded. They'd accept anyone who would tolerate their off-putting mix of genius-level intellect and perverted humor.

One figure was the black sheep among black sheep... Alex. Even back in middle school, nothing was sacred with Alex. Going to his house (trailer), one might find his room fairly normal at first glance. Advanced nerd stuff, all surfaces covered in Star Wars and MTG related posters and items. A blueprint of the Millenium Falcon he was especially proud of. But move anything and you would find porn hidden underneath. It was as if he somehow dove headfirst into a mountain of porn store's literature, cut out all the most hardcore images, folded it up, and doubled the combined weight of his room's content without altering the appearance.

Honestly I have blocked out of my mind a lot of the stuff he used to say, but back in the early 2000s, he was saying the sort of thing you read on these threads. Jokes about rape and violence, sometimes playing it out with a bannana at the cafeteria table. He seemed to some days be fairly tolerable, and others just unrelenting in his dark humor. Although at times he seemed to just want attention, most of the time he would snub any attempt to get too close to him.

Moving into high school, things accelerated into the depths of hell.

He surrounded himself with a different group, of sociopaths. One of them, Jeremiah, was never seen from again after committing arson. But even among this small group of the malevolent, he stood out. It started when he worked at the fantasy store. He would regularly clean out the store's stock of MTG cards into his car. Whenever someone at school would play MTG, he would whip out a suitcase full of decks and gloat about crushing the competition. Eventually he was fired, but he had gotten what he wanted.

I didn't talk to him much in high school, but one day in our senior year, something happened that surprised everyone but those who knew him well.

http://www.semissourian.com/story/1121163.html
 
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I have this classmate/so-called friend on my 3D course who is virtually anti-everything, ignorant and thinks certain people should be exterminated like Jews in a holocaust. Ironically, he's Jewish.

I mean is, he wants Muslims, disabled people, black people, socialists and even zionist Jews to be killed like the Nazis did with the Jews. Add to that irony, he has a Muslim friend, a black friend, his friends and I are on the socialist sides (as being a Labour supporter) and his grandma was an amputee.
But he hates disabled people who were born 'deformed' or have disabilities like cerebal palsy. He said if he had kids who had disabilities, he would get his 'wife' to abort them. If he was disabled, he kill himself. He is too ignorant to realise, disabled people can have happy lives, they just need to adapt and get the right support.
Another thing to hypocrisy to this, he is autistic (surprise, surprise) and ADHD but calls the the mental disorders, therefore, people with mental disorders aren't on his 'list of people to kill'.

He goes on about how much he hates the Nazis but wants to kill his 'people'. He goes on about politics and talks about how much he hates the communists and socialists, I understand other peoples views but how he hates them makes it a fact, not a preference or opinion make me so annoyed.

Also, he goes on and on, I may go and on as it is sadly an autistic thing but go to control it and he doesn't stop if trying to get him to shut up or ignore him, he has no clue what is going on. He also attempts to stalk me and my female classmates through online. I would block him on Facebook but I'm afraid he'll have a go at me an go on about it but I plan to block him after I finish the course. I had to disable being online on the Facebook chat because of it. I have one friend who doesn't use Facebook but she accidently gave him her mobile number, now he texts at random time, even 5.00am, mainly when he is drunk. The scariest thing about him texting my friend is...

He posted his penis but she had an old mobile phone, those late 2000's models which the receiver dosen't get images from the senders who have latest phones, his case, I think is an android phone.

TL DR- Basically an Oysshteler (Big Show Off) who is an Kholerye Khnyok (Good for Nothing Bigot)
 
I have this classmate/so-called friend on my 3D course who is virtually anti-everything, ignorant and thinks certain people should be exterminated like Jews in a holocaust. Ironically, he's Jewish.

I mean is, he wants Muslims, disabled people, black people, socialists and even zionist Jews to be killed like the Nazis did with the Jews. Add to that irony, he has a Muslim friend, a black friend, his friends and I are on the socialist sides (as being a Labour supporter) and his grandma was an amputee.
But he hates disabled people who were born 'deformed' or have disabilities like cerebal palsy. He said if he had kids who had disabilities, he would get his 'wife' to abort them. If he was disabled, he kill himself. He is too ignorant to realise, disabled people can have happy lives, they just need to adapt and get the right support.
Another thing to hypocrisy to this, he is autistic (surprise, surprise) and ADHD but calls the the mental disorders, therefore, people with mental disorders aren't on his 'list of people to kill'.

Yeah, thats the Eugenics mentality. Clean the gene pool by eliminating all weak people. I would think mental illnesses should be included, but that would be too logical. Its ironic that these types always find themselves in the lucky group that gets to live. Its odd that he would hate one of the few people in history who actually did some of their eugenics goals. Besides the Jewish, there is a lot of overlap between the undesirables. Both wanted to kill muslims, blacks, and the disabled.
 
I read all 3 of your posts on Benito.. This is fantastic! Its incredibly disgusting, but I think we can all feel better about ourselves by comparison. So how big was he back in high school or whenever most of these stories take place?

He started putting on weight when he hit his teens, although I don't think he began exploding in size until he was about sophomore year in high school. He was always chubby, but that was when he exploded in girth. He gained something like 50 pounds a year or so, and by senior year, I'm pretty sure he was 300 - 350 pounds. He only stabilized at around 600 when he hit 21 or so.

What kinds of clothes did Benito wear? I guess it must be pretty hard for a fatty supreme like that to get decent clothes and other attire.

He mostly dressed normally from what I remember. I think he tended to wear T-shirts, since they helped keep his fat ass cool all year around. He often just wore jeans, though he began to wear shorts more often when he became really fat. I mostly remembered that for reasons known only to Satan, he had a fondness of going shirtless during the summers, and would eat his lunch on the porch. As mentioned, it was commonly a lardburger or some other gross contraption.

Next batch of stories will come in a few hours. You want the stories about how physically weak he is, or a few more stories on his fatness?
 
He started putting on weight when he hit his teens, although I don't think he began exploding in size until he was about sophomore year in high school. He was always chubby, but that was when he exploded in girth. He gained something like 50 pounds a year or so, and by senior year, I'm pretty sure he was 300 - 350 pounds. He only stabilized at around 600 when he hit 21 or so.



He mostly dressed normally from what I remember. I think he tended to wear T-shirts, since they helped keep his fat ass cool all year around. He often just wore jeans, though he began to wear shorts more often when he became really fat. I mostly remembered that for reasons known only to Satan, he had a fondness of going shirtless during the summers, and would eat his lunch on the porch. As mentioned, it was commonly a lardburger or some other gross contraption.

Next batch of stories will come in a few hours. You want the stories about how physically weak he is, or a few more stories on his fatness?
did Benito ever have any... experimentation with that lard? did anyone ever catch him lube up with lard to play with his 2.5" peter? i must know to live on.
 
did Benito ever have any... experimentation with that lard? did anyone ever catch him lube up with lard to play with his 2.5" peter? i must know to live on.

I can tell you that he took about as long to understand masturbation as Chris. He actually thought that dudes had to jack it by inserting things into their pisshole. Not only that, but he has told people about his experience in trying to attempt this. He complained that his pinky finger, despite being the smallest one he had, was too thick to shove down his urethra. I'm not exactly sure how he came to this particular conclusion, but I wouldn't be shocked if he mistook how ladies masturbate for how everyone masturbates or something equally retarded. As an aside, allow me to front a third option for you guys: How Benito is the worst gamer I've ever seen, even moreso than DSP.
 
I have this classmate/so-called friend on my 3D course who is virtually anti-everything, ignorant and thinks certain people should be exterminated like Jews in a holocaust. Ironically, he's Jewish.

I mean is, he wants Muslims, disabled people, black people, socialists and even zionist Jews to be killed like the Nazis did with the Jews. Add to that irony, he has a Muslim friend, a black friend, his friends and I are on the socialist sides (as being a Labour supporter) and his grandma was an amputee.
But he hates disabled people who were born 'deformed' or have disabilities like cerebal palsy. He said if he had kids who had disabilities, he would get his 'wife' to abort them. If he was disabled, he kill himself. He is too ignorant to realise, disabled people can have happy lives, they just need to adapt and get the right support.
Another thing to hypocrisy to this, he is autistic (surprise, surprise) and ADHD but calls the the mental disorders, therefore, people with mental disorders aren't on his 'list of people to kill'.

He goes on about how much he hates the Nazis but wants to kill his 'people'. He goes on about politics and talks about how much he hates the communists and socialists, I understand other peoples views but how he hates them makes it a fact, not a preference or opinion make me so annoyed.

Also, he goes on and on, I may go and on as it is sadly an autistic thing but go to control it and he doesn't stop if trying to get him to shut up or ignore him, he has no clue what is going on. He also attempts to stalk me and my female classmates through online. I would block him on Facebook but I'm afraid he'll have a go at me an go on about it but I plan to block him after I finish the course. I had to disable being online on the Facebook chat because of it. I have one friend who doesn't use Facebook but she accidently gave him her mobile number, now he texts at random time, even 5.00am, mainly when he is drunk. The scariest thing about him texting my friend is...

He posted his penis but she had an old mobile phone, those late 2000's models which the receiver dosen't get images from the senders who have latest phones, his case, I think is an android phone.

TL DR- Basically an Oysshteler (Big Show Off) who is an Kholerye Khnyok (Good for Nothing Bigot)

I hate to compare someone to Hitler, but this classmate of yours shares Adolf's hypocrisy of not living up to his own puritanical standards.
 
He started putting on weight when he hit his teens, although I don't think he began exploding in size until he was about sophomore year in high school. He was always chubby, but that was when he exploded in girth. He gained something like 50 pounds a year or so, and by senior year, I'm pretty sure he was 300 - 350 pounds. He only stabilized at around 600 when he hit 21 or so.



He mostly dressed normally from what I remember. I think he tended to wear T-shirts, since they helped keep his fat ass cool all year around. He often just wore jeans, though he began to wear shorts more often when he became really fat. I mostly remembered that for reasons known only to Satan, he had a fondness of going shirtless during the summers, and would eat his lunch on the porch. As mentioned, it was commonly a lardburger or some other gross contraption.

Next batch of stories will come in a few hours. You want the stories about how physically weak he is, or a few more stories on his fatness?
A little of one and a little of the other would be just fine. Also good god, I'm surprised the man's not keeled over and died from all that weight he put on. Let alone from respiratory issues or a heart attack.
 
I can tell you that he took about as long to understand masturbation as Chris. He actually thought that dudes had to jack it by inserting things into their pisshole. Not only that, but he has told people about his experience in trying to attempt this. He complained that his pinky finger, despite being the smallest one he had, was too thick to shove down his urethra. I'm not exactly sure how he came to this particular conclusion, but I wouldn't be shocked if he mistook how ladies masturbate for how everyone masturbates or something equally retarded. As an aside, allow me to front a third option for you guys: How Benito is the worst gamer I've ever seen, even moreso than DSP.
tell us the rest, mane. it's not like anyone doesn't want to read it.
 
We have a cow at work who is somewhat normal in all respects, but he is the biggest compulsive liar anyone of us has ever met. It's so bad that we make up stories ourselves and bring them up in group discussions with him and he always claims to have 'already read about it' on his smartphone. Nobody really fucking understands why he does this, but we all milk him constantly and he doesn't seem to pick up on it. It is always hilarious when someone asks him to cite his source and he suddenly invents a reason to exit the conversation.

And, again, he is oddly normal outside of his weird lying. Definitely not the biggest cow ever, but one of the only ones I have met personally since leaving college. It's kind of weird to deal with an adult cow in the workplace sometimes. I used to think compulsive liars had bad childhoods or something, but this guy is, from what everyone can tell, grew up with zero problems and actually had a somewhat privileged upbringing. Best I can guess is that he just likes feeling at the center of attention by always having some story to talk about or some big event to brag about. His compulsive lying is probably worse than ADF's.
 
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This man is anime director Mitsuo Fukuda, a long-time employee of Sunrise and most famously known for Gundam SEED. He is a lolcow.

Now, I'm not saying this because I dislike his work. I think that early on SEED had the potential to surpass the original Gundam series, just never realized it. Hell, his works prior to SEED are highly regarded by the mecha community. Why do I consider him a lolcow? Easy, the stories surrounding him are the stuff of legend. Reading about working under him is like reading The Disaster Artist.

There was a lot of behind the scenes drama regarding him and his wife (the head writer) during SEED Destiny, alienating him from some of his stars. Naomi Shindou has said she never wants to work for either of them again. The production was a mess and while the final product was popular (somewhat. Japanese Gundam fans hate it as much as the American ones), both him and his wife were suspended after they couldn't get a movie script in on time.

It took him almost a decade to be attached to something other than the SEED HD Remasters. His wife hasn't written since. They create one of the biggest anime of all-time and they're out of work for that long. Gives you an idea about how bad it was, right? How many enemies this guy made. Guy acts like he did nothing wrong and complains when the video game crossovers rewrite the story. He says it's wrong to alter or add new scenes, which is ironic considering his tenancy to retcon including a case where he retconed a death in the DVD release to bring the character back in the sequel..

He was attached to the recent Cross Ange as a creative producer, where he pissed off fans again. See, the director wanted some characters to die and give the show some emotional weight. Fukuda wanted them to live without explanation (something he infamously did in SEED. Man thinks it's cool), so he went and got all the writers on his side. Basically, he took creative power away from the director to do as he wished. When asked how one surived on twitter, Fukuda practically went "he's a ninja. lol"

His twitter account was protected for awhile after that.

In the end, Cross Ange has average sales. Not great, just average. Fukuda is now going around saying it was successful enough to warrant a sequel and is urging fans to let Sunrise know they want more. The dude is begging fans to get him work. If it had sold that well, Sunrise would be eager to milk it like they did with Code Geass.

That's all for now. If you want to know more about the behind the scenes drama, let me know and I'll write something up.
 
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