😵‍💫 Skitzocow Ethan Gluis / Sewerslvt / Sadboy Sheldon / "Jvne" / "Jvnko" / Ponk's Bakery / cynth0ni - Edgy, Pedo, Tranny Breakcore musician, Abuses stray cats "just to feel something", Sent his asshole to his crush to win her over

anonymouscaller45 said:

Okay, I've finally decided to cave and come to this site. I've heard about this thread a whole ass fucking bunch, and people seem to use it as their "source" for information on Ethan/Sadboy Sheldon/Sewerslvt, so I'm here to fill in a few blanks on her early career. For the record, I think this site is stupid, the obsession with this artist is stupid, but sometimes you just gotta air the dirty laundry.

Nobody has to take my word for anything. This probably the only time I'll ever post, but we'll see. I'm not gonna come back with evidence or anything, even if I could actually dig it up. It would just take a lot of effort and it's not worth it.

So who am I? An ex-Ponk's Bakery band member. I've been there since not the beginning, but from 2015 until I left voluntarily in late 2019. I kept in touch with the members, but it disbaned in early summer of 2020. I was there when Ethan (at the time) was brought into the group, and I was there until he (at the time) departed. Someone recent uploaded a shitty documentary that glorifies Sewerslvt to Youtube and they name-drop PB like 2 minutes in, so I guess it's finally time to just come forward.

All of us from that band have known about this thread for a while. People have been trying to get in contact with us for some time, just to ask questions about Sewerslvt. It's annoying and we've kept our distance. But everyone has moved on to other projects since PB is dead, for several reasons. We've grown up and we're not as edgy as we once were is a big part of it, but the Bandcamp page getting taken down twice also didn't help because it was hundreds of gigabytes of content to re-upload. But this isn't a PB history lesson, even if I could easily make it one. To keep it short, it was started in December of 2013 and ended early summer of 2020. About 50 unique individuals contributed, with some sticking for a while, and core group of about half a dozen staying consistent from start to finish. Can't remember exactly which month it ended, though. The band's unofficial mascot was Jenny Wakeman/XJ-9, so we sometimes got posted into other communities besides the Soundclown/music shitposting community. Point being, this is how Ethan found us. In October 2015, on the 10th yr anniversary of a very shitty fanfic called "My Life As A Teenage Robots Lover" a couple members of the band made an audiobook. It wasn't an album, just a handful of teenagers reading a really bad fanfic live on Skype, laughing, and recording it. Somehow, one way or another, Ethan finds this album and begins to make very crude animations for the chapters for it, and uploads them to Youtube. Bandcamp has a feature that let's you view how people stumble across your page, and at the time we were very small, so we'd investigate links that pointed to us. He had linked us in the description of this videos, which are very long gone by the way. Most PB members/contributors were fans first, and then recruited. (Myself included.) So in early 2016, he joins our Skype group.

They had creative potential, I guess. After all, they were making animations so they had output. Anyways, after we dropped an album in super early 2016 - Nice Meme III - we began "producing" the next one - "Crippling Depression Inc." - which ALSO has a cover that parodies Gorillaz. (Feel Good Inc., obviously.) I can't remember if Sadboy Sheldon/Sewerslvt made that cover like how they/she also made the very infamous one for the solo album later that got her somewhat cancelled, which was also a Gorillaz parody. (Of Humanz.) And sure, one of the handful of tracks they made for CDI did get really famous: Pope Franci$ (ft. MC Vatty Cans) - the 11th track which she also uploaded to her Youtube as just "Hotline Spikes" or something like that. It ended up getting about 2 million views before she either set it to unlisted or private. Ponk's Bakery's Bandcamp was linked in the description of that video, at least for a while. What's impressive honestly, is that while Death Grips mashups are kind of generic, and hers certainly were too - she had never made anything musical before. So, for a bunch of teenage shitposters, it was good. At the time. Like all other PB material it's hot garbage in hindsight, albeit funny on occasion when it isn't just straight up insufferably edgy.

But it didn't last long. Ethan, "Jvne" or fucking whatever, was super fucking toxic. Oh, and by the way, you stalkers on this site got a lot of stuff right. Idk how much they confirmed themselves, but yes, having seen pics of this person, you're all right on the money. And Ethan is the birth name. As for last name, idk. Adelaide is correct. Ask me how I know? Ponk's was global. There were a bunch of Americans, a few Europeans, and a few Australians as well. Sadboy Sheldon wasn't the only one. So, when they started talking about self harm, and when it came across as serious? We reached out to another Australian member and had them contact the local police for us. That member - Rusemaster Joey B. - is the one that runs the Ponk's Bakery Youtube channel. I assume he just forgot the password or something, because otherwise it would be taken down. It was started by him as an ironic lets play channel with really bad Minecraft tutorial vids, and then later it was used to host the first PB visual album "J" which ALSO happens to be the last PB album with contribution from Sewerslvt. She did the graphics for track 2 I think? The audio was made by someone else. Then there's another member's solo album also uploaded there I think but that's it. The person who made that shitty doc a few days ago missed the extremely obvious - the numbers correlate with the track positions for the album. Track 26, "Empire Alert" was taken down even though it was censored, and I forget which other track was removed. I digress.

Sadboy Sheldon was extremely edgy. It was hard to tell when they were being serious or not, or just making idle threats. At first we couldn't tell, they were maybe a year or two younger than the rest of us, but ages varied. We've all been edgy at some point. However, with them, it never stopped. She was going to kill her mom with scissors. She was going to harm herself with a knife named "Old Misery" if I recall correctly. She'd talk about how she would go out into the streets to kill stray cats just to "feel something." She would threaten her rommate, and sometimes even us or our families, even if we lived half a world away. For a long time, we did try to help. But some people honestly just don't want to be helped. After a while, we had moved from Skype to Discord. It's late mid to late 2017 now, and people are tired of dealing with her. She simply won't accept help, so what happens when we distance ourselves from her? (I can't remember if she got kicked from the server or what.) She calls us all "pedophiles" and "racists" and says she's glad she's leaving, or something like that. I was never a critical member so I missed a lot of this, but am very familiar with it, just wasn't there for it right as it was happening. Semi related, there used to be a ponks-bakery.wikia.com page and a ponksbakery.wikia.com page, but both are now long gone sadly. Each had tons of information. Like a lot. It would be useful if it still existed. I know what some people will point out - J was uploaded in February of 2018, after she had left or got kicked. To this I say: Albums were planned in advance. Announced internally, and people could make and contribute stuff until it was done. Sometimes it took days, sometimes it took weeks, sometimes it took months. Some ended up never happening. Sewerslvt is barely on J, and I'm not on it at all, but it is her last de facto album. Her last contribution audio-wise to a band album is something I wouldn't know, however.

But what I do know is that like a lot of members, the Ponk's Bakery Bandcamp was also used as a label of sorts. Besides the group albums, joke singles and solo members were released to it. This is how Sadboy Sheldon was born, and eventually Sewerslvt. You already all know all the Sadboy Sheldon albums. Those have mostly been archived, bar maybe one or two. What I do know is that there is one missing Sewerslvt album nobody ever talks about - because it lived on the Ponk's Bakery Bandcamp for like 2 days. Her first EP/album. I can't remember the name. And it was up so briefly, that I don't think it got archived, even by us. (Our separated downloaded collections aside, there is one member's only MEGA archive that is 99% complete and has hundreds of gigs of stuff.) This was around the time she left, so she requested that the founding/head member and manager remove all her solo stuff. Her individual tracks on group albums stayed, but we all respected her decision with her music and it got removed. All the Sadboy Sheldon and Sewerslvt. Then she went off on her own way, to start a shitty music venture as a wannabe Machinegrl, basically.

Disclaimer: I have a bone to pick with this person. It's not out of jealousy because she's famous since a bunch of people make videos to the song "Pretty Cvnt" on dumb as hell TikTok. It's not out of jealousy because she got more famous than Ponk's Bakery, which actually in the end had amassed quite a lot of fans, some of who would actually buy and wear the limited merch we had. It's not because at one point this person called me names and made threats to me. I don't dislike their music on solely a personal level - I think it's shit. (Anyone can make "breakcore" and being a Goreshit ripoff is pretty cringe.) She/they is a talentless hack but that's besides the point. I have a problem with this person because of how they treated my friends, who at times would literally feel guilty for creating this person, who might not ever have made music if not for Ponk's Bakery. Never gotten micro-internet niche-status fame, and then used that to do honestly terrible things. I hate this person because another PB band member who joined AFTER SHE HAD LEFT THE GROUP had the Bandcamp listed in their bio, and when they were both scheduled to attend the same virtual music festival, she had this person kicked off, and this shitty festival gave her what she wanted because she was "more important" or whatever. But I guess karma's a bitch, because this member is doing fine on their own now, and Sewershit has been dropped by many labels following all the drama since.

There's so much shit she's done I can't name it all. There was a band member dating some girl who would doodle, (who at some point even drew one of the first depictions of Jvnko iirc) and Sewerslvt was obsessed with her. Probably because she did a quick sketch of their OC, idk. But like I said, she was already dating someone else and in the same group. Everybody including Sewershit knew this, so what to they do? Send an unsolicited pic of their fucking ASSHOLE to this girl. I mean, she handled it well. We all laughed and it became an inside joke known as the "Sarlacc Pit" and maybe she or others still have that image. I saw it once just randomly in the server and personally would never like to see it again. But it was talked about a lot. And there's more she did, like send her whiteknights to take down our Bandcamp. Twice. I was there the first time, not the second. But after that everyone just gave up on re-uploading. Oh, I guess the only other reason I hate this person is also because beef between musicians is funny, I suppose.


I know in the time being people have unearthed new shit, like ironically, her grooming at least two different underage people on Instagram. Shocker. Funny this comes from the person who called everyone in Ponk's Bakery a pedophile. Oh, and right now? She's taking a permanent break from the internet, or so she said or people say. But guess what? Musicians talk. She's in New York, grooming a fan offline. Being manipulative and using them for free stay, and probably fucking them. Hopefully this person is at least not underage. Another day, another Sewershit controversy. I'm sure more shit will come to light after I finish this long-winded post.

In addition, ponksbakery.bandcamp.com is still a thing. But it's just used to host bootlegs so that no one else claims the URL. I have moved on to make stuff solo, like a lot of others. A big chunk of the members have moved to their own project that's semi-serious, I guess you could say. It's "real" music with maybe a hit of comedy and just craziness. I won't name the group, though. Besides that, Ponk's Bakery has a spiritual successor I'm pretty sure - but I also won't name my suspicions there, either. A couple things still exist, however. Obviously there's the Bandcamp which also has one final actual album from the founding member, the conclusion to his solo album anthology. It's good, listen to it if you're bored and need music. @PonksBakeryVEVO is still on Twitter, but whoever ran it abandoned it. The PB Youtube channel is obviously up, as is the shitposting channel made on the side by the same members of the band, but it hasn't been touched in a long time as well. (https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCYfUVtkDOPVOZfgz6-uFviw) The Ponk's Bakery Facebook page got converted into something else, but a hijacked MLP Facebook group with like 5k members in it known as "Ponk's Bakery Shitposting" is also still up. The Soundcloud seems to be gone. I think that's it.

I think my last post got too long so I should probably wrap this up. TL;DR: Sewershit is an awful person and musician. Leave Ponk's Bakery alone, it's dead. Being an ex-member of the greatest and funniest band of all time is cool until you see your old group name-dropped in a cringey psuedo-documentary on Youtube. Miss PB? Go buy merch from our fucking dumbass Redbubble lol, and no one will collect the money because it's been a mess for years. Shameless plug: https://www.redbubble.com/people/PonksBakery/shop (But seriously, if you buy something, the money goes to no-one.)

And since I'm not expecting to be believed, here's some artifacts from the crypt:
The album that got Sewershit interested in us (Fanfic reading)
The album that first featured Sadboy Sheldon (CDI)
And the final album that did (J)
Here's a capture from a Bandcamp archive
And here's the track she made which blew up
P.S.: Don't go searching us on Way Back Machine, because while we were saved a few times, you won't find what you're looking for, probably

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