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CosplayLori Cerda / Usagi Kou / Lori Lewd / Zero Two / Lori Lune and Kevin Hanft / AdollaSkye / Skye / Krook3dKev - 37-year-old batshit crazy Sailor Moon cosplayer & e-thot with 20 years of drama, 27-year-old simp manchild cosplay martyr fiancé, Momokun's archenemies
I don't think she's actually penetrating herself, either. It's fake, just like everything else about Lori and Kevin. I can't believe her simps are willing to pay so much money for such low quality content.
You're absolutely correct. In the Lynchian horrorporn above, she's... squirming(?) and rolling her eyes neither her hands nor that crusty dildo are anywhere near her box. The "thrusts" look extremely fake as well. I'm no expert on women parts, but I am 98% sure you do not stab yourself in the puss like you're Michael Myers.
WAIT. Because I hate myself, I've been trying to pick apart her videos and find any filter warping, but... is she rubbing herself with her FOOT in that video, too?? When her left hand is on her knee and her right is propping her up, her right foot is not visible. Her legs/feet are visible when she's "fucking" herself, then her foot tucks in again when she makes that godawful Aheago face.
I'm honestly on the fence about it, because it is possible Lori has a foot fetish. All the shoes, the kitty paw toe socks from earlier in the thread, the fact that her feet are actual boats... Rubbing one out with your heel is... different! So UwU kawaii and ana-chan, teehee.
You're absolutely correct. In the Lynchian horrorporn above, she's... squirming(?) and rolling her eyes neither her hands nor that crusty dildo are anywhere near her box. The "thrusts" look extremely fake as well. I'm no expert on women parts, but I am 98% sure you do not stab yourself in the puss like you're Michael Myers.
WAIT. Because I hate myself, I've been trying to pick apart her videos and find any filter warping, but... is she rubbing herself with her FOOT in that video, too?? When her left hand is on her knee and her right is propping her up, her right foot is not visible. Her legs/feet are visible when she's "fucking" herself, then her foot tucks in again when she makes that godawful Aheago face.
I'm honestly on the fence about it, because it is possible Lori has a foot fetish. All the shoes, the kitty paw toe socks from earlier in the thread, the fact that her feet are actual boats... Rubbing one out with your heel is... different! So UwU kawaii and ana-chan, teehee.
@OhGodHowDidThisGetHere thank you as always for your insightful posts and shedding some light on her "gypsy" phrase as well as highlighting all the disgusting pedo pandering.
Like everyone else I'm disturbed by the Baby Ducks video, something is really wrong with her. The anon that posted it also posted something else interesting:
It would be one thing if the spastic twitching uwu shit was actually working for her, but it's not. It sounds like her OF is absolutely dead. People that supposedly pay for this content don't even interact with it? Sounds more like she has hardly any followers. It does kinda restore my faith in humanity though.
I wonder if Kevin knew she was doing these penetration vids on OF. Seems shit went sour once these videos were posted lol. I also get the feeling that she isn’t actually penetrating herself hence why she is covering her vagina. It’s easy to fake like your masterbating and fake moans. Yep Kevin now everyone knows what your future wife sounds like in bed.
Since Kevin has removed his FB and Instagram profiles, I am gonna guess that he didn't know about the penetration. It could be a coincidence, but the timing is just too perfect for it not to be. But just think, he's been posting on Facebook for his friends (or what is left of them) to simp and pay for Lori's OnlyFans. Awkward.
BTW -- if you want Lori to show pictures of her ferrets she will gladly take photos of them for you but she'll want you to pay her to do it. She'll take photos of nearly anything she owns if someone will pay her to do the "photoshoot". She doesn't even have to be in it.
It would be one thing if the spastic twitching uwu shit was actually working for her, but it's not. It sounds like her OF is absolutely dead. People that supposedly pay for this content don't even interact with it? Sounds more like she has hardly any followers. It does kinda restore my faith in humanity though.
Because even as low tier effort as having an OF, you still have to put in SOME effort. Momo is about as lazy as it comes to her OF yet people still pay her a stupid amount of money for it. Somehow Lori has surpassed her on laziness. Momo manages to keep an OF audience because she built up enough of a fan base first. Lori buys her followers and has hardly any engagement in her comments section and when she does she acts like a cunt and tells people to sub to her OF. She put the cart in front of the horse, so to speak. You have to wonder how many people she did lure to OF under the guise of getting some sort of nicety or interaction with Lori only to have her still be a cunt or demand more money. She's stupid as fuck and has an unwarranted inflated ego. It probably pisses her off to no end when people unsub to her OF because of shitty attitude. But instead of looking to change herself she keeps on doing the same things.
Kevin's Instagram and main Facebook accounts are back. His cosplay Facebook account is still deactivated but it'll be back soon. Lori has not refollowed him on Instagram yet.
Edit: Lori posted pics of her ferrets on her insta stories
@OhGodHowDidThisGetHere thank you as always for your insightful posts and shedding some light on her "gypsy" phrase as well as highlighting all the disgusting pedo pandering.
Like everyone else I'm disturbed by the Baby Ducks video, something is really wrong with her. The anon that posted it also posted something else interesting: View attachment 2061024
It would be one thing if the spastic twitching uwu shit was actually working for her, but it's not. It sounds like her OF is absolutely dead. People that supposedly pay for this content don't even interact with it? Sounds more like she has hardly any followers. It does kinda restore my faith in humanity though.
I've been told a lot of mixed things about Onlyfans payout but I think anything under top 1% is normally pays out pretty low, she gets very little interaction on twitter and her instagram is pretty scetchy and somewhat artificially generic with a ok follow number that could be some bots and the generic low energy interactions from "fans",
Lewd Videos: Holy shit. An anon posted two of Lori's "exclusive" videos and they're rather unsettling.
“Hi guys. I’m being a lazy gremlin today, shooting a bunch of cute stuff for you guys. Maybe some Instagram content. Maybe I’ll eat this cotton candy. Who knows? So, like, it makes me really happy when you guys actually pay attention to my Instagram posts and sub. Super happy. Baby ducks! Look how cute...” - Lori after taking Acme earthquake pills
EDIT: Regarding the creepy cotton candy video, Lori has posted content with similarly strange movements and it reminded me of this video about Burger King.
"Why is Burger King better than McDonalds? Someone answer this question for me." - Lori View attachment 2056797
IG User: "Legs look incredible in those fishnets." Lori: "I got good legs" View attachment 2056449
Recent Comments: Lori believes she's a high profile target for kidnappers.
IG User: "You should go to Japan and try to apply at a maid cafe." Lori: "no way I would get kidnapped" View attachment 2056448 New Sponsor: Lori Lewd is promoting face masks made by fashion designer Bron Bermudez / Brandon Bermudez. I wonder if he knows about Lori's horrible past actions.
View attachment 2056451 Untagged: Following Lori and Kevin's juvenile tagging saga on this post, it seems that Kevin has now untagged her. Stay tuned.
I can almost taste the desperation coming from the baby ducks video. It's painfully cringe.
I wonder what made her start doing videos with sound. Always thought it was weird that they were all silent with the exception of like 2 with music. Perhaps she thinks engaging with the simps by talking to them will make her more money.
Honestly though, I doubt it will work, she just doesn't have that "it factor" that someone like Momokun has. Moo was able to get noticed at a pivotal time when cosplay was just beginning being completely overtaken by thots. Somehow amassed a huge following of simps and make more money off her looks than should have been possible. Truly amazing. The stars somehow aligned just right for Moo to succeed. Weather or not she is handling the success is another story.....but this is the Lori thread and we're certainly not here to marvel at her success. Lori is too old and too late to the game to be successful at this now. All she can do is try to copy what the other thots are doing and hope it makes her a few bucks.
My god, this guy seems like a bigger cow than Lori. Anyone that willingly tethers himself to a crazed skinwalker despite all the warning signs deserves to be laughed at. What a fucking cuck.
Kevin and Lori started dating in November 2017 and, at first, it was generously assumed that Kevin was a decent yet woefully naive individual who fell victim to the infamous manipulator Usagi Kou. However, after nearly three and a half years, it's clear that Kevin is not the innocent victim he portrays himself to be and is an up-and-coming lolcow himself. Brash, dramatic, bizarrely egotistical, awkward, juvenile, obliviously hypocritical, and, at times, unintentionally hilarious - Kevin is all of the above and more. Who would've thought that the notoriously selfish Lori Lewd would bestow such a gift upon us as Kevin Hanft? It's time to learn more about the true character of Lori's current rent payer, chauffeur, and indentured white knight.
NOTE: Quick reminder that Kevin is 27 years old and Lori is 35 years old. In fact, Lori will be 36 on April 16th. Just another step closer to 40 so happy early birthday, Lorena!
Kevin The Konceited: Kevin tends to fixate on the appearances of himself and others. Many of his comments on social media inevitably devolve into accusations of jealousy and insistence that he is far too attractive to need photoshop. It has yet to be determined if constantly reverting to the topic of physical beauty is 1) a complex defense mechanism Kevin uses to shield himself from the existential angst of introspection or 2) he's just dumb as a bag of bricks. If anything, Kevin has proven himself to be vapid, vain, and frighteningly shallow. Let's start with a classic rant in which Kevin declares himself a "sexy anime guy":
"I guess according to reddit and lolcow I have a double chin, am fat, unwashed and look old. Let me clear something up. Ive never had a double chin. Even at my fattest 240 pounds I still looked better than 99% of these reddit incels. I now weigh 190. Ive lost 50 pounds since starting my job and look like a sexy anime guy. My abs and leg definition would convince most. I don't shower often. I do, but not when I know I'm going to be dirty sweatshopping. These people don't even look, they just judge. They are human garbage with nothing to do but judge others. I play games, I cosplay, I work hard. My life is basically exactly how I want it. Lori doesn't abuse me. We fight yea but i love her more than anything. She sat through ALL my shit. Therapy, rehab and everything in between. Did a single other friend reach out after I finished therapy? Only my best friends did. Everyone else peaced out. No one on the internet knows even half enough of my situation to say shit. 'He looks unwashed' on the 3rd day of con. Lol you better believe I look like shit. LOL these people judge everything. Why dont you go work full time and tell me how you look at the end of the day. I'm getting really tired of this twofaced crap. Either support me or get out of my life. I'm doing amazing and have never felt more attractive. My family is doing..."
- Kevin the Sexy Anime Guy
"Bruh XD what is this celebrity tabloid clickbait now? I wonder how haggard these anons look.Sweaty It's called not shaving, sweatshopping and losing over 50 pounds in 3 months, your jealous comments in between doritos fuel me anons. The bait is so strong. Keep sharing my posts plz." - Kevin
"Either we're gods at photoshop or we're just attractive enough to cry photoshop *shrugs* That's a win win in my book" - Kevin
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"Lmfao the last brain cells on insta are so jealous of Lori Lewd they want to get us banned from cons. Yalls history is a lot bleaker than ours js" - Kevin
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"OH NO ALL I CARE ABOUT IS LOOKS. Yall are fat shaming, slut shaming shams. I'm allowed to think my woman is attractive. God this lolcow thread is gold. There's so much misinformation it makes me want to vomit and laugh at the same time." - Kevin
"Imagine being so stupid you think we photoshop every single photo we've ever posted. Imagine being so stupid you think a photographer's edit is our own edits. We have big eyes and small noses, fight me irl lol" - Kevin
"Imo cosplay how you want, if someone wants to up the brightness until they've ascended to the sky realm, I say let them. If someone wants a dark moody shot, let them. It's not your photo. Most of us are just playing with settings for fun. Even if someone needs a touch up which even I do once in a while, not every photo is perfect. Im no good at edits either, the one I remember most is sometimes I smooth out scars / moles / blemish, etc. What's the problem? You want to see that in photos? That's what real life is for. If your personal goal is to view someone in the worst and most unflattering way possible, who are you and where are you going in life to think that way? Too much editing can be a thing (since we got lights we don't edit hardly at all) but stop demonizing people who do minor fixes and claiming people over edit when they don't because you all do it too." - Kevin
"...since we got lights we don't edit hardly at all..." - Kevin
Kevin: "Well I love her [Lori], I just hope the fighting stops soon."
Former Kou: "I hope so too."
Kevin: "I'd rather be uncanny valley you keep mentioning than a fat piece of garbage fermenting on a hate feed for the rest of your life. Get a grip and grow up."
"'His personality is so awful all he cares about is looks.' * hides on anon, doesn't do anything but ferment on lolcow talking about our looks * The irony." - Kevin
Anon #1: "Maybe after Lori he'll [Kevin] realize it's not the weight and looks, it's the personality that counts? Highly doubt it though at this point. He downright rejected a friend of mine due to her weight."
Anon #2: "He rejected a friend of mine due to her weight too. Maybe same friend? Or more likely just shitty behavior. Now he's getting what he deserves I guess. He wanted his perfect proana waifu who treats him like shit."
Hate Thread Obsession: In case you hadn't already noticed, Kevin is obsessed with comments about him from various "haters" on Lolcow.farm and here at KiwiFarms.
"I love cosplay and most cosplayers are cool, Buuut if your whole narrative changes on anon, suddenly you're the best, richest, youngest, 5star food only eating, least toxic cosplayer, I'm pretty sure that makes you the narcissist, vs a couple trying to do their best :d Lori is a wonderful and adorable person and everyone who doesn't think so can suck it" - Kevin
Kevin: "Oh man lol. I haven't read the hate thread in weeks, just looked at it now. It's literally the same 4 people zooming in on the same posts for weeks at a time trying to nitpick anything. This is literally their whole life, just trying to crap talk us XD They have nothing on us lol they [Lolcow.farm] banned me the second I called anyone out so that tells me a lot. The dance belt thing is funny because I'm literally wearing the equivalent LOL. All my photos over 1k likes never get posted. Only the very most unflattering ones. I'm doing so well lol nothing can get me down ^^ Now I know I have no reason to look cause it's the same thing just repeated to infinity."
Facebook User: "Maybe you should just not read these hate threads, there’s literally no reason to”
Kevin:“ye I just get curious because it’s the saddest think i’ve ever seen. Ppl say don’t feed them but I can’t help mentioning the irony be cause I truly find it hilarious."
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“So about this hate thread I keep mentioning, I hate posting about it but there’s one thing that makes my blood boil more than anything else. Calling someone abusive over rumors and speculation and then turning about to abuse them and their partner online anonymously on a DAILY basis, spewing hate, lies and everything in between is the definition of hypocrisy. And this is literally other cosplayers on my friends list doing it. I guarantee people trying to live their best life are happier than you. Sad pathetic internet anons. When will YOU grow up and get out? At least on the bright side it makes my real friends shine and let’s me know we are valid and cared for.” - Kevin
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“It’s a little bit dusty but HAHAHAHAHA. The hate thread is getting wild. The shit they theorize is so hilarious, I genuinely get a laugh out of reading it. Watching them try to triangulate all of everything I know the answers to is almost as funny as it is sad. And calling us ugly is just as good, be more jealous Keep up the circle jerk fellas its only feeding my fire ^^" - Kevin
NOTE: You may notice that Kevin tries to use "big" words that he initially reads on hater threads and later fails to use correctly in sentences. There are countless examples of his dumbassery but some of the words he mangles in this post include uncanny valley, triangulation, and narcissism.
"I'm getting really tired of this twofaced crap. Either support me or get out of my life. I'm doing amazing and have never felt more attractive. My family is doing great. I dont need the negativity. If you've recently told me I have your support, this is not you. This is for the dumbasses on lolcow. Everyone on there is literally talking out their asses about something they know nothing about. You're not uncovering abuse...you're literally just an idiot. And popular cosplay friends, how do you go about getting shit taken down? Is it possible? Or is it on the internet forever lol because these people are very sad if the worst they have to say about is that I have a double chin? Lol if I have one then you do too buddy I am very slender for my height." - Kevin
"Why is everyone on 'lolcow' overweight and unhappy but calling skinny girls unhappy cows? Yall called projection fake news in therapy. hE's AlMoSt UnReCoGNiZablE. Considering we snap photos and post them seconds after, the trolls are getting hungry and delusional I see, every time I remove someone they go cry on lolcow about how much of a douche I apparently am, when all I ever say is 'hey maybe like a photo with both Lori and I in it.' Some friends xD. We're still made over photoshop, 3600 posts later. I saw some comments about what kinda people follow lolcow for community news. It's only unhappy blobs of people. No wonder they all want to hate two decent looking adults ^w^" - Kevin
"So fat, so much double chin and just hideous am I right? Pulled my camera and snapped this, no effects, no filters, literally at my ugliest morning grogginess, not gotten ready at all. Lol people get creepy shots with unflattering angles all the time. But if it's a girl no one says anything. Girls can be confident and know they're attractive, but when a guy goes it you insult him even more? Ive always liked the way I look, even when I weighed extra. Ive always thought of myself as at least decent looking. The whole thing about this community being PC is a giant sham because people still fat shame and slut shame if they have a negative opinion of you. They don't believe in any kind of beauty. Only the vain, 'if you're my friend you're skinny, if not, then you're fat and ugly' guess the best thing is to ignore it. But I still wanted to point out how backwards it all is." - Kevin
The Makeup Meltdown: Like many bitchy 13-year-old girls, Kevin has a history of losing his goddamned mind over outrageously stupid shit. The makeup meltdown is a classic example of this and it all started when Lori uploaded this picture of their Zero Two and Hiro cosplay to her Facebook page. Note the Former Kou's use of the term "uncanny valley" and Kevin's failed attempt to use it correctly in another section of this post.
Former Kou: “No shade but Kevin’s eyes look absolutely crazy. Uncanny valley.”
Facebook Friend #1: “Lori it looks creepy tbh. I don’t think the wing ws needed imo, just a little eyeliner would’ve been fine to bring dimension to his eyes but the wing is a bit much.”
Lori: “HE THINKS YOU CALLING HIM UGLY. HIM BEAUTIFUL”
Former Kou: “I’m not calling him ugly, I just think the makeup could be better.”
Kevin: “lol I tried really hard getting it just right because if you actually watch the show his eye make up gets more intense as the series goes on and the wing needs to be long enough to cover the blue that goes under it, sorry for putting actual effort into my costumes while other guys dont even fucking shave but fuck me right? Calling someones effort creepy and ‘couldve been better’ when its basically screen accurate seems really bunk I dunno thats just me, cosplay is for fun ^^”
Former Kou: “Lol are you serious right now?”
Kevin: “The comment just seems in poor taste. Imagine if one of my friends called her make up shitty and creepy, but just because I’m a boy doing my makeup a certain way its okay to put me down?”
Former Kou: “Bro, I don’t even know you? I’m commenting as someone who has been cosplaying since 2001, there are certain things you can do to better fit for your particular features instead of making it ‘accurate’ because newsflash: You aren’t an anime character. Stop caring what a stranger is saying about your makeup to the point of posting up paragraphs defending yourself. Imagine wasting your time defending your makeup on Facebook instead of enjoying a con. Lmao.”
Facebook Friend #2: “Kevin, my thoughts exactly that Former Kou’s comment was shitty. I literally took a moment to vent to my sister who was sitting next to me that why would someone shit on another’s cosplay lewks. Like. I get it. We all talk shit. But no good person should actually go out of their way to SAY THAT SHIT it’s upsetting. Fin.”
Kevin: “‘No shade, but really shade though.’ Whatever I’m chillin, I like my cosplay and think it compliments hers just right :d”
Facebook Friend #3:“At the end of the day, it’s just makeup. You do you. Who cares what anyone else thinks. I don’t watch the show or cosplay anymore but what I do know is cosplay is for fun and we do our best. Constructive criticism is great but it could be said in a nicer way.”
"DON'T COPY ME": Just like Lori, Kevin has a tendency to accuse others of copying him. Kevin, that's Lori's schtick so DO NOT COPY HER! Here's an example of Kevin bullying another cosplayer over a photograph. Kevin claimed that liecht, a Brazilian cosplayer, directly copied a photo he took of Lori. (Of course, Lori further accused poor liecht of coping her pose.) These are the 2 pictures that started this whole shitshow:
"Shot taken by my Darling KrookedKev [Kevin]." - Lori
Here is a Zero Two costume by cosplayer liecht: [LINK]
Context: As she is wont to do, Lori searched for Zero Two cosplayers on Instagram with the intention of picking a fight, creating drama, and getting attention. Lori found liecht's cosplay and chose her as a target to antagonize. Lori then created a social media post with pictures of her and liecht's Zero Two cosplay side by side as a comparison with the bitchy caption: "Huh huh huuuh. She tried." Ivonne [Lori Defender?]: "It's also called bogarting. Also see: rude, Pretentious, condescending, unprofessional, and unnecessary. I could go on... But this kinda shit is not welcome in this community."
Lori:"Bruh cosplay is for everyone but this is preeeettttty close"
IG User #1: “All I am saying is cosplay is not a competition, it is an art form. Judging people, and posting comparisons like this is just rude… and yes. It is VERY close. Take it as a compliment that you inspired someone to Express themselves. Like I said previously, you don’t own that pose. A post like this at face…”
Lori: “Explaining to you would be wasted breath”
IG User #2: “I don’t usually have a lot to say but I still like your stuff. This post makes me sad. I’m sorry if I’m incorrect, but isn’t this a pose from the character you’re both copying? And you’re just saying that you did yours better? That’s mean.”
Lori: “nonono. I did this pose a while ago and i haven’t seen anyone take the exact one till today. The hair tossing pose for example gets done all the time. Never do i make…”
"Huh huh huuuh. She [liecht] tried." - Lori
"Lmfao. All the people in the comments who never like our stuff circle jerking each others comments with heart reacts. This girl [liecht] wouldn't give two shits if she saw this, because she probably copied it. Yea cosplay is for everyone, it's not horrible but without any form or shape of credit, it's a no from me. I even take some inspiration from other Bakugous but I always give credit in some way. This is MY photography. I put a lot of effort into getting the best shots like this. I don't even have any kind of fancy camera or anything. They would defend her [Lori] if she was famous. I know because I've seen it happen many times. If it's truly coincidence then whatever but if not she should at least tag one of us. Cosplayers, photographers, thoughts on this?" - Kevin
Kevin: “it’s just every limb is exactly placed, it’s hard to call coincidence”
FB User #1: “I’m agreeing with u. The other girl [liecht] should have credited lori some way or a tag or something.”
FB User #2: “I don’t mean to sound like a dick but this pose is usually used in the modeling industry. And having a picture like that is fairly common as well. It’s also fairly common in paintings and drawings as well… maybe it’s a coincidence? Also if you think she’s copying, maybe it’s better to talk to her [liecht] about it? It’s a much better and peaceful route”
Kevin: “The problem is not with the girl, I don’t like the photo, because it’s just too similar. I’m allowed to voice displeasure. But my problem is with people who NEVER like our stuff and only come out to comment stuff exactly like this. My issue is I’ve literally watched higher follower coins defend themselves and be praised. Why is Lori begging pegged as the bad guy? This dude is attacking her for saying ‘meh’ basically. Not to mention a lot of people on my friends list are twofaced and cap my shit and post to hate websites. I’m fed up. You can only be in the right if you’re famous? Miss me with that. Your friends have done this too. Ive seen it, ...and everyone sucks the ghost of their dick for it and agrees but for SOME reason it’s not okay for Lori and I to do it.”
FB User #3: “I feel as though if you felt it’s copied from your work then communication would have been a better route than a call out post that looks like your shaming someone.”
Kevin: “bruh I’m shaming the dude attacking her[Lori]. Idc if she [liecht] copies my work.”
FB User #3: “So the 'uh huh she tried' side by side comparison of both shots wasn’t shaming? I’m not defending what the person was saying again could have been handled better. What I’m questioning is a side by side comparison.”
Kevin: “It’s not shaming to ask for credit lmfao. Because it is what it is. Everyone talks big shit about us and then turns around to copy us?”
FB User #3: “I’m not saying it is. Asking for credit would be asking for credit. Not saying ‘she tried’ again you asked for thoughts and I’m giving mine. Have you asked for them to credit you for what you feel is them using you as inspiration on it? Prior to that post?”
Kevin: “Posting a side by side is the only way to see how everything is exactly copied and that there’s a high chance it’s not coincidental”
FB User #3: “I’m not really sure you’re understanding what my comment is stating. The issues of crediting is very understandable and should be done. My comment is on the ‘she tried’ instead of a asking for credit post. Different ways to go about it all based on personal tastes, just posting my thoughts.”
FB User #4: “Damn cosplay has come to this too? You can pose the same way as other people now? Jesus Christ. If that’s the case I guess when I wear my dragons I can’t pose like nigiri [cosplayer Jessica Nigiri] BC she did it???”
"btw the completely 'innocent' girl [liecht] who completely copied my photo sent all her ppl to witch hunt. Not to mention /somehow/ she already knew all of Lori's info already but claims to have never seen anything of hers before. We never said anything bad about her cosplay but now I don't care. That girls cosplay has no armor, just the ill fitting suit and a pink wig, it's hardly a 02 cosplay. If you copy my work down the same angle and you have the nerve to witch hunt us, you deserve to be shit on." - Kevin
That Boy Ain't Right: It's no secret that Kevin's IQ is roughly equivalent to his shoe size so get ready for a glimpse into the the mind of our favorite short bus commuter. Unfortunately for him but fortunately for us, he's a walking personification of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Kevin, I'm sure you're reading this and have no idea what that is so here's a link, buddy: [LINK]
"You guys ever play a game called The Legend of Zelda? Majora's Mask is my favorite. It teaches you a lot." - Kevin
"She's [Lori] been doing cutesy looks on Of and embracing egirlhood." - Kevin
Rene:"Was able to gift WoW to all of the cases that came forward thanks to several employees who graciously donated their codes! I have one more free 1-year-subscription left. So if you know someone who could really really really use a booster these days, I'd like to hear from you."
Lori:"I know a dude that has a confirmed case of it but hes not dying and he gets to work from home so hes not doing too bad. His gf had a light case of it but his asthma makes it difficult."
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Kevin:"Lori just got me a year of free WoW game time ;u; Honestly speechless."
Lori:"Babe is great for going into work every day ;_; Im just glad i know generous people."
Kevin's rant in which he claims to support Blizzard...despite getting WoW for free because Lori is a scammer.
"'You have to stop playing blizzard games [World of Warcraft] because they disqualified one person and took the prize money away' Is like saying 'You have to stop buying all products at the store because they force slave like conditions on workers in and outside the U.S.' I'm sorry but this isn't the first time a company has chosen money over people. If this is really the thing you can't stand idk... seems pale in comparison to many many other issues. You care more about boycotting blizzard than you do about actually helping. If you're boycotting one you have to boycott them all. Picking and choosing just because it's trendy and about video games just makes you look like a self righteous ass. If it's your ethnicity and culture are in the muck that's one thing. But all the fake allies seem.
Dont blame the game, blame the boss. The ones in charge of money and decisions. If they give artists pay cuts because of how many people unsub I'd be furious. The artists and 'lower' employees always get the brunt of the bullshit. I promise your self righteous uninstall will never touch CEO pockets. What you're really doing is potentially losing artists and good people their jobs. These beautiful games have saved my life. Hong Kong is definitely messed up right now, but idk man. Blame the person who decided it was okay to do this, not the game that only artists work to make beautiful for you. These artists probably don’t support what happened either. I’m willing to put money on it. I’m not removing blizzard from my life. I don’t support what happened, but it’s a drop in the bucket. The entire world is full of wrong." - Kevin
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Facebook User: “voicing our opinions with our wallets is a start”
Kevin: “It is for sure. I guess I just dont like being told by people who have never protested anything else what I should and shouldn’t be supporting. And saying ‘you cant play the game that saved you from depression because I’m a white sjw who is only mad because it’s about video games’ Like for me ive invested waaaaay too much into WoW for example I cant just quit. I love this game you know? It saved me from a lot of bad times. I don’t like it. But WoW is precious to me. And I’m absolutely certain almost everyone working on it believes the same thing we do.”
Hmm...
"...I guess I just dont like being told by people who have never protested anything else what I should and shouldn’t be supporting. And saying ‘you cant play the gamedate the psychopath that saved you from depression because I’m a white sjw who is only mad because it’s about video gamesLori.’ Like for me ive invested waaaaay too much into WoWLori for example I cant just quit. I love this gamepsychopath you know? ItShe saved me from a lot of bad times. I don’t like it. But WoWLori is precious to me...” - Kevin's Subconscious
Kevin The Kuck: Time and time again, Kevin proves himself to be a grade A certified bitchboy thundercuck.
Lori:"Sometimes i do lewd sets. DM for info."
Kevin:
Lori's posts featuring artwork with Zero Two (her) emasculating a sissified Hiro (Kevin).
"My boyfriend is a pretty princess." - Lori
"Lori Lewd got that big tsun [tsundere] energy :d <3" - Kevin
Assorted Kevin Photos: A hodgepodge of Kevin Kou awfulness for your amusement and horror.
Kevin in his puffy jacket reminds me of my dog's butt. View attachment Butt (2).jpg
Sorry for the huge picture. Newfag here, still trying to learn the ways.
Of course, which is the entire reason Lori was able to snag him.
He's a dumb, petty, insecure teenager stuck in an adult man's body. Lori's only dating options are damaged manbabies 10 years her junior. Anyone else in her age range, mid to late 30s, won't deal with her shit. They've made all those idiotic teenage relationship mistakes and moved on a long time ago.
This is what lolcow peak dating performance looks like.
Kevin and Lori started dating in November 2017 and, at first, it was generously assumed that Kevin was a decent yet woefully naive individual who fell victim to the infamous manipulator Usagi Kou. However, after nearly three and a half years, it's clear that Kevin is not the innocent victim he portrays himself to be and is an up-and-coming lolcow himself. Brash, dramatic, bizarrely egotistical, awkward, juvenile, obliviously hypocritical, and, at times, unintentionally hilarious - Kevin is all of the above and more. Who would've thought that the notoriously selfish Lori would bestow such a gift upon us as Kevin Hanft? It's time to learn more about the true character of Lori's current rent payer, chauffeur, and indentured white knight.
NOTE: Quick reminder that Kevin is 27 years old and Lori is 35 years old.
Kevin The Konceited: Kevin tends to fixate on the appearance of himself and others. Many of his comments on social media inevitably devolve into accusations of jealousy and insistence that he is far too attractive to need photoshop. It has yet to be determined if constantly reverting to the topic of physical beauty is 1) a complex defense mechanism Kevin uses to shield himself from the existential angst of introspection or 2) he's just dumb as a bag of bricks. Let's start with a classic rant in which Kevin declares himself a "sexy anime guy":
"I guess according to reddit and lolcow I have a double chin, am fat, unwashed and look old. Let me clear something up. Ive never had a double chin. Even at my fattest 240 pounds I still looked better than 99% of these reddit incels. I now weigh 190. Ive lost 50 pounds since starting my job and look like a sexy anime guy.
My abs and leg definition would convince most. I don't shower often. I do, but not when I know I'm going to be dirty sweatshopping. These people don't even look, they just judge. They are human garbage with nothing to do but judge others. I play games, I cosplay, I work hard. My life is basically exactly how I want it. Lori doesn't abuse me. We fight yea but i love her more than anything. She sat through ALL my shit. Therapy, rehab and everything in between. Did a single other friend reach out after I finished therapy? Only my best friends did. Everyone else peaced out. No one on the internet knows even half enough of my situation to say shit. 'He looks unwashed' on the 3rd day of con. Lol you better believe I look like shit. LOL these people judge everything. Why dont you go work full time and tell me how you look at the end of the day. I'm getting really tired of this twofaced crap. Either support me or get out of my life. I'm doing amazing and have never felt more attractive. My family is doing..."
- Kevin the Sexy Anime Guy
"Bruh XD what is this celebrity tabloid clickbait now? I wonder how haggard these anons look. Sweaty It's called not shaving, sweatshopping and losing over 50 pounds in 3 months, your jealous comments in between doritos fuel me anons. The bait is so strong. Keep sharing my posts plz." - Kevin
"Either we're gods at photoshop or we're just attractive enough to cry photoshop *shrugs* That's a win win in my book" - Kevin
"Lmfao the last brain cells on insta are so jealous of Lori Lewd they want to get us banned from cons. Yalls history is a lot bleaker than ours js" - Kevin
"OH NO ALL I CARE ABOUT IS LOOKS. Yall are fat shaming, slut shaming shams. I'm allowed to think my woman is attractive. God this lolcow thread is gold. There's so much misinformation it makes me want to vomit and laugh at the same time." - Kevin
"Imagine being so stupid you think we photoshop every single photo we've ever posted. Imagine being so stupid you think a photographer's edit is our own edits. We have big eyes and small noses, fight me irl lol" - Kevin View attachment 2066102
"Imo cosplay how you want, if someone wants to up the brightness until they've ascended to the sky realm, I say let them. If someone wants a dark moody shot, let them. It's not your photo. Most of us are just playing with settings for fun. Even if someone needs a touch up which even I do once in a while, not every photo is perfect. Im no good at edits either, the one I remember most is sometimes I smooth out scars / moles / blemish, etc. What's the problem? You want to see that in photos? That's what real life is for. If your personal goal is to view someone in the worst and most unflattering way possible, who are you and where are you going in life to think that way? Too much editing can be a thing (since we got lights we don't edit hardly at all) but stop demonizing people who do minor fixes and claiming people over edit when they don't because you all do it too." - Kevin View attachment 2066106
Kevin: "Well I love her [Lori], I just hope the fighting stops soon."
Former Kou: "I hope so too."
Kevin: "I'd rather be uncanny valley you keep mentioning than a fat piece of garbage fermenting on a hate feed for the rest of your life. Get a grip and grow up."
"'His personality is so awful all he cares about is looks.' * hides on anon, doesn't do anything but ferment on lolcow talking about our looks * The irony." - Kevin View attachment 2066135
Anon #1: "Maybe after Lori he'll [Kevin] realize it's not the weight and looks, it's the personality that counts? Highly doubt it though at this point. He downright rejected a friend of mine due to her weight.
Anon #2: "He rejected a friend of mine due to her weight too. Maybe same friend? Or more likely just shitty behavior. Now he's getting what he deserves I guess. He wanted his perfect proana waifu who treats him like shit."
Hate Thread Obsession: In case you hadn't already noticed, Kevin is obsessed with comments about him from various "haters" on Lolcow.farm and here at KiwiFarms.
Kevin: "Oh man lol. I haven't read the hate thread in weeks, just looked at it now. It's literally the same 4 people zooming in on the same posts for weeks at a time trying to nitpick anything. This is literally their whole life, just trying to crap talk us XD They have nothing on us lol they [Lolcow.farm] banned me the second I called anyone out so that tells me a lot. The dance belt thing is funny because I'm literally wearing the equivalent LOL. All my photos over 1k likes never get posted. Only the very most unflattering ones. I'm doing so well lol nothing can get me down ^^ Now I know I have no reason to look cause it's the same thing just repeated to infinity."
Facebook User: "Maybe you should just not read these hate threads, there’s literally no reason to”
Kevin:“ye I just get curious because it’s the saddest think i’ve ever seen. Ppl say don’t feed them but I can’t help mentioning the irony be cause I truly find it hilarious."
“So about this hate thread I keep mentioning, I hate posting about it but there’s one thing that makes my blood boil more than anything else. Calling someone abusive over rumors and speculation and then turning about to abuse them and their partner online anonymously on a DAILY basis, spewing hate, lies and everything in between is the definition of hypocrisy. And this is literally other cosplayers on my friends list doing it. I guarantee people trying to live their best life are happier than you. Sad pathetic internet anons. When will YOU grow up and get out? At least on the bright side it makes my real friends shine and let’s me know we are valid and cared for.” - Kevin
“It’s a little bit dusty but HAHAHAHAHA. The hate thread is getting wild. The shit they theorize is so hilarious, I genuinely get a laugh out of reading it. Watching them try to triangulate all of everything I know the answers to is almost as funny as it is sad. And calling us ugly is just as good, be more jealous Keep up the circle jerk fellas its only feeding my fire ^^" - Kevin
NOTE: You may notice that Kevin tries to use "big words" that he initially reads on hater threads and later fails to use them correctly in a sentence. Some of the words and terms he's mangled include uncanny valley, triangulation, and narcissism.
"I'm getting really tired of this twofaced crap. Either support me or get out of my life. I'm doing amazing and have never felt more attractive. My family is doing great. I dont need the negativity. If you've recently told me I have your support, this is not you. This is for the dumbasses on lolcow. Everyone on there is literally talking out their asses about something they know nothing about. You're not uncovering abuse...you're literally just an idiot. And popular cosplay friends, how do you go about getting shit taken down? Is it possible? Or is it on the internet forever lol because these people are very sad if the worst they have to say about is that I have a double chin? Lol if I have one then you do too buddy I am very slender for my height." - Kevin View attachment 2066127
"Why is everyone on 'lolcow' overweight and unhappy but calling skinny girls unhappy cows? Yall called projection fake news in therapy. hE's AlMoSt UnReCoGNiZablE. Considering we snap photos and post them seconds after, the trolls are getting hungry and delusional I see, every time I remove someone they go cry on lolcow about how much of a douche I apparently am, when all I ever say is 'hey maybe like a photo with both Lori and I in it.' Some friends xD. We're still made over photoshop, 3600 posts later. I saw some comments about what kinda people follow lolcow for community news. It's only unhappy blobs of people. No wonder they all want to hate two decent looking adults ^w^" - Kevin View attachment 2066137
"So fat, so much double chin and just hideous am I right? Pulled my camera and snapped this, no effects, no filters, literally at my ugliest morning grogginess, not gotten ready at all. Lol people get creepy shots with unflattering angles all the time. But if it's a girl no one says anything. Girls can be confident and know they're attractive, but when a guy goes it you insult him even more? Ive always liked the way I look, even when I weighed extra. Ive always thought of myself as at least decent looking. The whole thing about this community being PC is a giant sham because people still fat shame and slut shame if they have a negative opinion of you. They don't believe in any kind of beauty. Only the vain, 'if you're my friend you're skinny, if not, then you're fat and ugly' guess the best thing is to ignore it. But I still wanted to point out how backwards it all is." - Kevin View attachment 2066139
The Makeup Meltdown: Like many bitchy 13-year-old girls, Kevin has a history of losing his goddamned mind over outrageously stupid shit. The makeup meltdown is a classic example of this and it all started when Lori uploaded this picture of their Zero Two and Hiro cosplay to her Facebook page. Note the Former Kou's use of the term "uncanny valley" and Kevin's failed attempts to use it correctly in other sections of this post.
Former Kou: “No shade but Kevin’s eyes look absolutely crazy. Uncanny valley.”
Facebook Friend #1: “Lori it looks creepy tbh. I don’t think the wing ws needed imo, just a little eyeliner would’ve been fine to bring dimension to his eyes but the wing is a bit much.”
Lori: “HE THINKS YOU CALLING HIM UGLY. HIM BEAUTIFUL”
Former Kou: “I’m not calling him ugly, I just think the makeup could be better.”
Kevin: “lol I tried really hard getting it just right because if you actually watch the show his eye make up gets more intense as the series goes on and the wing needs to be long enough to cover the blue that goes under it, sorry for putting actual effort into my costumes while other guys dont even fucking shave but fuck me right? Calling someones effort creepy and ‘couldve been better’ when its basically screen accurate seems really bunk I dunno thats just me, cosplay is for fun ^^”
Former Kou: “Lol are you serious right now?”
Kevin: “The comment just seems in poor taste. Imagine if one of my friends called her make up shitty and creepy, but just because I’m a boy doing my makeup a certain way its okay to put me down?”
Former Kou: “Bro, I don’t even know you? I’m commenting as someone who has been cosplaying since 2001, there are certain things you can do to better fit for your particular features instead of making it ‘accurate’ because newsflash: You aren’t an anime character. Stop caring what a stranger is saying about your makeup to the point of posting up paragraphs defending yourself. Imagine wasting your time defending your makeup on Facebook instead of enjoying a con. Lmao.”
Facebook Friend #2: “Kevin, my thoughts exactly that Former Kou’s comment was shitty. I literally took a moment to vent to my sister who was sitting next to me that why would someone shit on another’s cosplay lewks. Like. I get it. We all talk shit. But no good person should actually go out of their way to SAY THAT SHIT it’s upsetting. Fin.”
Kevin: “‘No shade, but really shade though.’ Whatever I’m chillin, I like my cosplay and think it compliments hers just right :d”
Facebook Friend #3:“At the end of the day, it’s just makeup. You do you. Who cares what anyone else thinks. I don’t watch the show or cosplay anymore but what I do know is cosplay is for fun and we do our best. Constructive criticism is great but it could be said in a nicer way.”
"DON'T COPY ME": Just like Lori, Kevin has a tendency to accuse others of copying him. Kevin, stop copying Lori - that's her schtick. Here's a classic example of his lunacy concerning a fight over a photograph. This is picture that started the whole debacle:
"btw the completely 'innocent' girl who completely copied my photo sent all her ppl to witch hunt. Not to mention /somehow/ she already knew all of Lori's info already but claims to have never seen anything of hers before. We never said anything bad about her cosplay but now I don't care. That girls cosplay has no armor, just the ill fitting suit and a pink wig, it's hardly a 02 cosplay. If you copy my work down the same angle and you have the nerve to witch hunt us, you deserve to be shit on." - Kevin View attachment 2066185
That Boy Ain't Right: It's no secret that Kevin's IQ is the same as his shoe size. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for us, he's a walking personification of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Kevin, I'm sure you're reading this and have no idea what that is so here's a link: [LINK]
"You guys ever play a game called The Legend of Zelda? Majora's Mask is my favorite. It teaches you a lot." - Kevin View attachment 2066094
"She's [Lori] been doing cutesy looks on Of and embracing egirlhood." - Kevin View attachment 2066263
Rene:"Was able to gift WoW to all of the cases that came forward thanks to several employees who graciously donated their codes! I have one more free 1-year-subscription left. So if you know someone who could really really really use a booster these days, I'd like to hear from you."
Lori:"I know a dude that has a confirmed case of it but hes not dying and he gets to work from home so hes not doing too bad. His gf had a light case of it but his asthma makes it difficult."
----------
Kevin:"Lori just got me a year of free WoW game time ;u; Honestly speechless."
Lori:"Babe is great for going into work every day ;_; Im just glad i know generous people."
The "you stole my pose" chimp out is the perfect situation that showcases how truly self-centered they are. Accusing a random cosplayer thousands of miles away of stealing Lori's photo set shot for shot like she's some celebrity is insanity. She hopped on the Zero Two train so late. By the time she was screeching at this girl, hundreds of other cosplayers were featured in magazines and widespread videos for their versions of Zero Two. She's never been featured anywhere for her work aside from those terribly unflattering 5 second clips from AX and a random smaller con. How did Lori convince him that she's that important despite having nothing to back it? He knew people with actual success before so I just can't understand how he doesn't see how her cosplay/influencer career is an absolute farce. Her dwindling numbers and spikes in bot followers is so telling. He must not check and just take it at face value.
Can you imagine being such a cuck for someone who literally treats you like dirt? Who doesn't work and posts OF content that she doesn't even discuss with you first? (That's 100% what happened with Lori's fake masturbation video, guaranteed).
Sounds like the way he treats other women has fucked his pussy-karma for anything better. No decent baddie will put up with a crazy mormon MIL for a narcy emo otaku working telemarketing jobs.
Kevin and Lori started dating in November 2017 and, at first, it was generously assumed that Kevin was a decent yet woefully naive individual who fell victim to the infamous manipulator Usagi Kou. However, after nearly three and a half years, it's clear that Kevin is not the innocent victim he portrays himself to be and is an up-and-coming lolcow himself. Brash, dramatic, bizarrely egotistical, awkward, juvenile, obliviously hypocritical, and, at times, unintentionally hilarious - Kevin is all of the above and more. Who would've thought that the notoriously selfish Lori would bestow such a gift upon us as Kevin Hanft? It's time to learn more about the true character of Lori's current rent payer, chauffeur, and indentured white knight.
NOTE: Quick reminder that Kevin is 27 years old and Lori is 35 years old.
Kevin The Konceited: Kevin tends to fixate on the appearance of himself and others. Many of his comments on social media inevitably devolve into accusations of jealousy and insistence that he is far too attractive to need photoshop. It has yet to be determined if constantly reverting to the topic of physical beauty is 1) a complex defense mechanism Kevin uses to shield himself from the existential angst of introspection or 2) he's just dumb as a bag of bricks. Let's start with a classic rant in which Kevin declares himself a "sexy anime guy":
"I guess according to reddit and lolcow I have a double chin, am fat, unwashed and look old. Let me clear something up. Ive never had a double chin. Even at my fattest 240 pounds I still looked better than 99% of these reddit incels. I now weigh 190. Ive lost 50 pounds since starting my job and look like a sexy anime guy.
My abs and leg definition would convince most. I don't shower often. I do, but not when I know I'm going to be dirty sweatshopping. These people don't even look, they just judge. They are human garbage with nothing to do but judge others. I play games, I cosplay, I work hard. My life is basically exactly how I want it. Lori doesn't abuse me. We fight yea but i love her more than anything. She sat through ALL my shit. Therapy, rehab and everything in between. Did a single other friend reach out after I finished therapy? Only my best friends did. Everyone else peaced out. No one on the internet knows even half enough of my situation to say shit. 'He looks unwashed' on the 3rd day of con. Lol you better believe I look like shit. LOL these people judge everything. Why dont you go work full time and tell me how you look at the end of the day. I'm getting really tired of this twofaced crap. Either support me or get out of my life. I'm doing amazing and have never felt more attractive. My family is doing..."
- Kevin the Sexy Anime Guy
"Bruh XD what is this celebrity tabloid clickbait now? I wonder how haggard these anons look. Sweaty It's called not shaving, sweatshopping and losing over 50 pounds in 3 months, your jealous comments in between doritos fuel me anons. The bait is so strong. Keep sharing my posts plz." - Kevin
"Either we're gods at photoshop or we're just attractive enough to cry photoshop *shrugs* That's a win win in my book" - Kevin
"Lmfao the last brain cells on insta are so jealous of Lori Lewd they want to get us banned from cons. Yalls history is a lot bleaker than ours js" - Kevin
"OH NO ALL I CARE ABOUT IS LOOKS. Yall are fat shaming, slut shaming shams. I'm allowed to think my woman is attractive. God this lolcow thread is gold. There's so much misinformation it makes me want to vomit and laugh at the same time." - Kevin
"Imagine being so stupid you think we photoshop every single photo we've ever posted. Imagine being so stupid you think a photographer's edit is our own edits. We have big eyes and small noses, fight me irl lol" - Kevin View attachment 2066102
"Imo cosplay how you want, if someone wants to up the brightness until they've ascended to the sky realm, I say let them. If someone wants a dark moody shot, let them. It's not your photo. Most of us are just playing with settings for fun. Even if someone needs a touch up which even I do once in a while, not every photo is perfect. Im no good at edits either, the one I remember most is sometimes I smooth out scars / moles / blemish, etc. What's the problem? You want to see that in photos? That's what real life is for. If your personal goal is to view someone in the worst and most unflattering way possible, who are you and where are you going in life to think that way? Too much editing can be a thing (since we got lights we don't edit hardly at all) but stop demonizing people who do minor fixes and claiming people over edit when they don't because you all do it too." - Kevin View attachment 2066106
Kevin: "Well I love her [Lori], I just hope the fighting stops soon."
Former Kou: "I hope so too."
Kevin: "I'd rather be uncanny valley you keep mentioning than a fat piece of garbage fermenting on a hate feed for the rest of your life. Get a grip and grow up."
"'His personality is so awful all he cares about is looks.' * hides on anon, doesn't do anything but ferment on lolcow talking about our looks * The irony." - Kevin View attachment 2066135
Anon #1: "Maybe after Lori he'll [Kevin] realize it's not the weight and looks, it's the personality that counts? Highly doubt it though at this point. He downright rejected a friend of mine due to her weight.
Anon #2: "He rejected a friend of mine due to her weight too. Maybe same friend? Or more likely just shitty behavior. Now he's getting what he deserves I guess. He wanted his perfect proana waifu who treats him like shit."
Hate Thread Obsession: In case you hadn't already noticed, Kevin is obsessed with comments about him from various "haters" on Lolcow.farm and here at KiwiFarms.
Kevin: "Oh man lol. I haven't read the hate thread in weeks, just looked at it now. It's literally the same 4 people zooming in on the same posts for weeks at a time trying to nitpick anything. This is literally their whole life, just trying to crap talk us XD They have nothing on us lol they [Lolcow.farm] banned me the second I called anyone out so that tells me a lot. The dance belt thing is funny because I'm literally wearing the equivalent LOL. All my photos over 1k likes never get posted. Only the very most unflattering ones. I'm doing so well lol nothing can get me down ^^ Now I know I have no reason to look cause it's the same thing just repeated to infinity."
Facebook User: "Maybe you should just not read these hate threads, there’s literally no reason to”
Kevin:“ye I just get curious because it’s the saddest think i’ve ever seen. Ppl say don’t feed them but I can’t help mentioning the irony be cause I truly find it hilarious."
“So about this hate thread I keep mentioning, I hate posting about it but there’s one thing that makes my blood boil more than anything else. Calling someone abusive over rumors and speculation and then turning about to abuse them and their partner online anonymously on a DAILY basis, spewing hate, lies and everything in between is the definition of hypocrisy. And this is literally other cosplayers on my friends list doing it. I guarantee people trying to live their best life are happier than you. Sad pathetic internet anons. When will YOU grow up and get out? At least on the bright side it makes my real friends shine and let’s me know we are valid and cared for.” - Kevin
“It’s a little bit dusty but HAHAHAHAHA. The hate thread is getting wild. The shit they theorize is so hilarious, I genuinely get a laugh out of reading it. Watching them try to triangulate all of everything I know the answers to is almost as funny as it is sad. And calling us ugly is just as good, be more jealous Keep up the circle jerk fellas its only feeding my fire ^^" - Kevin
NOTE: You may notice that Kevin tries to use "big words" that he initially reads on hater threads and later fails to use them correctly in a sentence. Some of the words and terms he's mangled include uncanny valley, triangulation, and narcissism.
"I'm getting really tired of this twofaced crap. Either support me or get out of my life. I'm doing amazing and have never felt more attractive. My family is doing great. I dont need the negativity. If you've recently told me I have your support, this is not you. This is for the dumbasses on lolcow. Everyone on there is literally talking out their asses about something they know nothing about. You're not uncovering abuse...you're literally just an idiot. And popular cosplay friends, how do you go about getting shit taken down? Is it possible? Or is it on the internet forever lol because these people are very sad if the worst they have to say about is that I have a double chin? Lol if I have one then you do too buddy I am very slender for my height." - Kevin View attachment 2066127
"Why is everyone on 'lolcow' overweight and unhappy but calling skinny girls unhappy cows? Yall called projection fake news in therapy. hE's AlMoSt UnReCoGNiZablE. Considering we snap photos and post them seconds after, the trolls are getting hungry and delusional I see, every time I remove someone they go cry on lolcow about how much of a douche I apparently am, when all I ever say is 'hey maybe like a photo with both Lori and I in it.' Some friends xD. We're still made over photoshop, 3600 posts later. I saw some comments about what kinda people follow lolcow for community news. It's only unhappy blobs of people. No wonder they all want to hate two decent looking adults ^w^" - Kevin View attachment 2066137
"So fat, so much double chin and just hideous am I right? Pulled my camera and snapped this, no effects, no filters, literally at my ugliest morning grogginess, not gotten ready at all. Lol people get creepy shots with unflattering angles all the time. But if it's a girl no one says anything. Girls can be confident and know they're attractive, but when a guy goes it you insult him even more? Ive always liked the way I look, even when I weighed extra. Ive always thought of myself as at least decent looking. The whole thing about this community being PC is a giant sham because people still fat shame and slut shame if they have a negative opinion of you. They don't believe in any kind of beauty. Only the vain, 'if you're my friend you're skinny, if not, then you're fat and ugly' guess the best thing is to ignore it. But I still wanted to point out how backwards it all is." - Kevin View attachment 2066139
The Makeup Meltdown: Like many bitchy 13-year-old girls, Kevin has a history of losing his goddamned mind over outrageously stupid shit. The makeup meltdown is a classic example of this and it all started when Lori uploaded this picture of their Zero Two and Hiro cosplay to her Facebook page. Note the Former Kou's use of the term "uncanny valley" and Kevin's failed attempts to use it correctly in other sections of this post.
Former Kou: “No shade but Kevin’s eyes look absolutely crazy. Uncanny valley.”
Facebook Friend #1: “Lori it looks creepy tbh. I don’t think the wing ws needed imo, just a little eyeliner would’ve been fine to bring dimension to his eyes but the wing is a bit much.”
Lori: “HE THINKS YOU CALLING HIM UGLY. HIM BEAUTIFUL”
Former Kou: “I’m not calling him ugly, I just think the makeup could be better.”
Kevin: “lol I tried really hard getting it just right because if you actually watch the show his eye make up gets more intense as the series goes on and the wing needs to be long enough to cover the blue that goes under it, sorry for putting actual effort into my costumes while other guys dont even fucking shave but fuck me right? Calling someones effort creepy and ‘couldve been better’ when its basically screen accurate seems really bunk I dunno thats just me, cosplay is for fun ^^”
Former Kou: “Lol are you serious right now?”
Kevin: “The comment just seems in poor taste. Imagine if one of my friends called her make up shitty and creepy, but just because I’m a boy doing my makeup a certain way its okay to put me down?”
Former Kou: “Bro, I don’t even know you? I’m commenting as someone who has been cosplaying since 2001, there are certain things you can do to better fit for your particular features instead of making it ‘accurate’ because newsflash: You aren’t an anime character. Stop caring what a stranger is saying about your makeup to the point of posting up paragraphs defending yourself. Imagine wasting your time defending your makeup on Facebook instead of enjoying a con. Lmao.”
Facebook Friend #2: “Kevin, my thoughts exactly that Former Kou’s comment was shitty. I literally took a moment to vent to my sister who was sitting next to me that why would someone shit on another’s cosplay lewks. Like. I get it. We all talk shit. But no good person should actually go out of their way to SAY THAT SHIT it’s upsetting. Fin.”
Kevin: “‘No shade, but really shade though.’ Whatever I’m chillin, I like my cosplay and think it compliments hers just right :d”
Facebook Friend #3:“At the end of the day, it’s just makeup. You do you. Who cares what anyone else thinks. I don’t watch the show or cosplay anymore but what I do know is cosplay is for fun and we do our best. Constructive criticism is great but it could be said in a nicer way.”
"DON'T COPY ME": Just like Lori, Kevin has a tendency to accuse others of copying him. Kevin, stop copying Lori - that's her schtick. Here's a classic example of his lunacy concerning a fight over a photograph. This is picture that started the whole debacle:
"btw the completely 'innocent' girl who completely copied my photo sent all her ppl to witch hunt. Not to mention /somehow/ she already knew all of Lori's info already but claims to have never seen anything of hers before. We never said anything bad about her cosplay but now I don't care. That girls cosplay has no armor, just the ill fitting suit and a pink wig, it's hardly a 02 cosplay. If you copy my work down the same angle and you have the nerve to witch hunt us, you deserve to be shit on." - Kevin View attachment 2066185
That Boy Ain't Right: It's no secret that Kevin's IQ is the same as his shoe size. Unfortunately for him and fortunately for us, he's a walking personification of the Dunning-Kruger effect. Kevin, I'm sure you're reading this and have no idea what that is so here's a link: [LINK]
"You guys ever play a game called The Legend of Zelda? Majora's Mask is my favorite. It teaches you a lot." - Kevin View attachment 2066094
"She's [Lori] been doing cutesy looks on Of and embracing egirlhood." - Kevin View attachment 2066263
Rene:"Was able to gift WoW to all of the cases that came forward thanks to several employees who graciously donated their codes! I have one more free 1-year-subscription left. So if you know someone who could really really really use a booster these days, I'd like to hear from you."
Lori:"I know a dude that has a confirmed case of it but hes not dying and he gets to work from home so hes not doing too bad. His gf had a light case of it but his asthma makes it difficult."
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Kevin:"Lori just got me a year of free WoW game time ;u; Honestly speechless."
Lori:"Babe is great for going into work every day ;_; Im just glad i know generous people."
This sums up nicely how I feel about Kevin. I loved the Kevin the Kow post, @OhGodHowDidThisGetHere and I laughed so hard revisiting all his freakouts. I've mentioned numerous times in the Lori lolcow thread how much I absolutely LOVE Kevin Facebook posts. From his declarations of love to Lori ("She has a cute chest and cute everything" is a fav quote of mine), his rants calling out his friends for not "liking" enough of his photos, his "unbothered" statuses about lolcow, him reeing about how attractive he is, all of it. I can't think of a single thing on the internet that is guaranteed to make me laugh my ass off quite like a Kevin Facebook post.
I had forgotten about the Kevin eyeliner drama. LOL! "He thinks you calling him ugly. Him beautiful!" Lmao I can just picture Lori having to comfort this pathetic baby all because a couple of her friends said his eyes looked freaky. And because he's so shallow he just took it as some attack on his physical appearance. And then if that wasn't bad enough he had to defend himself in the thread, while visibly upset, more than once, with paragraphs. Lori really must be so fucking embarrassed by him.
That Kevin post is great. Damn. It’s really crazy how stunted he is. He used to have spergouts like that over dumb shit as a teenager too, but at least it would be excusable because he was a dumbass kid. It’s insane how 10 years later nothing has changed. If anything, it’s worse. His ego and entitlement are off the charts. They’re both such hypocrites. Criticizing everything and everyone, but the moment anyone criticizes them they flip out and play victim. What the fuck lmao. Good stuff.
Rubbing one out with your heel is... different! So UwU kawaii and ana-chan, teehee.
I forgot about that.
How's your weekend going!?" - Lori
Keep up the circle jerk fellas its only feeding my fire ^^" - Kevin
Here's an example of Kevin bullying another cosplayer over a photograph. Kevin claimed that 
