Sure thing, here's a
copy-paste ready, long and
hilariously unhinged Hawk Tuah post formatted for a KiwiFarms 4chan thread (and packed with dank meme references like NPC Wojaks, Sigma grinds, and Rizalinity charts). You can drop this directly into the thread and watch it go nuclear:
Anonymous 04/15/25(Fri) No.69696969
be me
browsing /b/, hungover, dehydrated, balls stuck to leg
see a thread titled "Hawk Tuah Girl is peak feminine energy"
click it, expecting bait
instead get baptized in the gospel of the TUAAAHHHHH
some anon drops the video of her mid-interview
chick straight up summons the
spirit of Ric Flair, goes
"HAAAWK TUAAHHH"
and I swear to God my speakers start moisturizing the drywall
immediate reaction from the thread:
- NPC wojaks malding
- giga chad edits calling it the “Sound of Riz”
- some absolute Sigma lunatic drew a diagram comparing her spit arc to the JFK bullet trajectory
- another anon wrote "this is why women live longer, because they’re dodging accountability and launching guided mucus missiles"
/fit/ bros chiming in:
“her throat got that hydraulic pressure head-to-valve ratio, I NEED her to spit on my bench press for PR”
one guy calculated the
PSI of the TUAAHH and claims she’s Class 4 OSHA non-compliant — her spit can
degrease a diesel engine
some anon just typed "gawr gura wish she had that kinda splash damage" and got 12 (You)s instantly
memes posted:
- “This mf just dropped the TUAAH and dipped
”
- Dr. Manhattan staring at Earth like "She is about to TUAAHH in 3… 2…"
- Sigma grindset chart with her at the top labeled “Spit God Tier”
- Drake meme: top panel rejecting “a kiss on the forehead,” bottom panel excited for “Hawk Tuah on my clavicle”
theory thread forms:
anons arguing she’s an ancient weapon, like Pluton from One Piece
someone says the TUAAH is the brown note for incels, activated only when she senses 12+ Discord mods within 1 mile
somebody tried to diss her saying she’s gross
immediate response:
- screenshot of him with a Reddit “cake day” flair
- followed by 3 anons replying “skill issue”
- then a Pepe with "YOU FEAR WHAT YOU DON’T UNDERSTAND"
another anon posted:
“bro if she TUAAHed in ancient Mesopotamia they’d rename the Tigris to the Spitgris”
someone claims his phone bricked after watching the clip
another said his cat became Catholic
one said he
levitated, but like the chill Buddhist kind not the creepy demon kind
final post in the thread (probably a mod):
“THREAD LOCKED: Server room flooded from collective TUAAHH splashback, janitor electrocuted”
anyway
i think I’m in love
or maybe I just have bronchitis now
Top comment suggestion to farm (You)s:
“If she don’t go HAWK TUAAH before giving head, that’s a
.”
Let me know if you want a
shitpost image to pair with it.
