'A better life is a few choices away'

[⋖ cørdion ⋗]

How do you cope with this concept? Do you?

I'm around a lot of elderly who have no issues joining a club or going to a try-out for salsa to meet people. Yet, talk to any doom-and-gloom zoomer who whines all day about not having friends or purpose and they'll sooner put iron in their mouth than stoop to joining a club or seeing what the local festival is about. Or hell, show up to a 40k meet for the first time. Or finally buy into iRacing and suddenly have passion for cars. Some measured, conscious effort to break into something new and be rewarded immensely for it. I'd like to hear stories, good or bad.

I think a lot of doomposting stems simply from inaction, and the fact people don't max their cards and do blow in Japan before ending it all underlines that people aren't truly suicidal but have grown too docile. It sounds like fucking heaven to think only of next tuesday when you go shoot bows with the boys compared to keeping up with 12 different cow threads and 3 Discords, yet I genuinely don't recall last I heard of anyone doing such a thing.

I did once volunteer at this music festival and it was incredibly rewarding to simply be there. Your hands were welcomed; no soft value linkedin bullshit or what have you; you were there and people were grateful for it. Sadly music, especially that kind, wasn't my thing, and I've not been able to find something local since. We got a rather large cathedral and surrounding scholarly grounds, and reading the many religious events coming up honestly sounded baller to get involved with, if not the obvious religious semi-requirement. I can see why people get hooked on religion for the community side of things.

 

[Vyse Inglebard]

Completely agree. I actually volunteer for a certain wish-granting organization often and legit, some of the most joyful experiences I've ever had was while volunteering. I even got a reference and a few career pointers from one of the wish kids' dads. Working becomes a hell of a lot more tolerable when you actually have a reason for why you do it.

 

[Sexy Senior Citizen]

How do you cope with this concept? Do you?

There's an old poem that pretty much says this same concept:

Spoiler

I bargained with life for a penny
And life would pay no more
However I begged in the evening
When I counted my scanty store.

For life is a just employer:
It pays whatever you ask.
But once you have set the wages,
Then you must bear the task.

I bartered with life for a menial's wage
Only to learn, dismayed:
That any wage I had asked of life,
Life would've willingly paid.

 

[Rei is Shit.]

Hell is a place you build for yourself.

 

[JamusActimus]

In life and work sometimes people take you too much for granted.

Doing volunteer job is rewarding because people are truly grateful of you time investment and contribution.

 

[Troonos]

The elderly come from a generation that had interactions outside of a cell phone, so a larger proportion of their generation is likely to engage in in-person social interaction. There just aren't many millennials/zoomers in social clubs.

 

[Dagoth AMOGUS]

this is a corny phrase that was on a banner above home room in 8th grade and I remember it still;

“There is get-to-it and then there is stick-to-it”

I think there is a much better way to phrase that but it is ultimately correct. Starting good habits is one thing. Keeping to those habits is another. Juggling two difficult things at once since humans dislike change naturally.

Sadly, a lot of risk has little reward these days. To put my point into another trite little phrase

 

[rogfromthedead]

Agreed. How enjoyable and fulfilling your life feels is only half due to your circumstances, the other half is your perspective and mentality.

 

[Hateocracy]

Hell is a place you build for yourself.

Well said.

Yet, talk to any doom-and-gloom zoomer who whines all day about not having friends or purpose and they'll sooner put iron in their mouth than stoop to joining a club or seeing what the local festival is about.

This is complete speculation, but I think many people from GenX onward view themselves as "above" being around fellow nerds and spergs, whether it be warhammer or flower planting or a renaissance festival. I'd attribute this to the hyper-accelerated inflation of the ego via social media.

I can see why people get hooked on religion for the community side of things.

I recently started doing volunteer work with a local christian church. Like a real one, not a Jack Scalfani "christian" church. It's been both entirely rewarding and not at all what I expected. Currently doing lots of food drive stuff given the time of year.

The sense of community satiates the soul. And, if absolutely nothing else, it's nice to be working with healthy, attractive, nicely-dressed and decent people.

"I've found it is the small things, everyday deeds of ordinary folk that keeps the darkness at bay; simple acts of kindness and love."

 

[Karen of Human Resources]

It's easy to point fingers. I do think the older generations had more grit and far stronger social skills. As much as people whine about not being able to afford a house or $12 an hour, this is not "hardship". This, compared to other generations is still "luxury". That still translates today in their willingness to take action and move when they can.

There is also a significant cultural shift though, which I would say exacerbates the entitledness and poor social skills. Modern Western society is innately hostile and tribal.

Even within the circles where everyone is melinated, trans and heckin' valid there is an underlying tension. Why is this person approaching me? Why do they have/not have social media, am I associating with an undesireable? Have I used the correct language? Did I sufficiently condemn incorrect language? It isn't just the lefties either. I recall a time when religious social events around me were bland cake and coffee mornings; I've watched them become ever increasingly hyper reactionary and xenophobic over the years.

Society is increasingly far less tolerant. Yes, its more tolerant in who you fuck or worship or not. It's far less tolerant when it comes to other differences. People with different jobs don't interact, people with different hobbies don't interact. People of different sexualities frequently don't interact. Heck, even men and women interact less than when I was younger.

The Internet was a poison chalice. It had the potential to enable cross border engagement and transmission, but instead it created hugboxes that while annoying online, are increasingly toxic and occasionally dangerous in person.

The younger generations are pampered and expect the world to come to them on a silver platter, but at the very same time they engage with an online world that is confrontational, angry and eager to lash out at them for the slightest thing. With increasingly less input from elsewhere, that has been starting to manifest in reality too as the baseline level for socialisation.

In that environment, there's much to be said for isolation.

 

[Argentinian Tails]

A better life is a few choices away, but for some those choices either aren't obvious or are incredibly hard to make.

There's no excuse to not improve one's conditions, but not everyone is starting at the same place. zoomers and millennials by and large have far worse social skills than the generations before them which can be overcome, but present an insane hurdle. Add in some "crab in a bucket" mentality on social media and you'd got a depression disaster brewing.

I tried to volunteer with a local animal rescue, but it was more like a boomer social club and I didn't find it an enjoyable environment to be in. I have volunteered the local Pride organization and well it was too cliquey for my taste it was a better experience and I met some decent folks.

As much as people whine about not being able to afford a house or $12 an hour, this is not "hardship".

I can not properly put into words how tired I am of people using this as the go to reason for their lives being shitty.

 

[ChunkyKong]

Two things you need to remember:

1. Sometimes happiness is a choice.
2. The best preperation for tomorrow is doing your best today.

Once you get those down you can slowly start to find enjoyment in smaller things in life and once you start getting more enjoyment day to day it will overfill and pour over into the next day and continue. That said sure there are things that still annoy me but I also realize that when I'm fixating on them I get unhappy especially since most of the things are outside of my control (politics,media,books etc).

Once you realize the power of free you can slowly start enjoying more and more of the aspects of life.

 

[Smashed & Slamed]

I'm around a lot of elderly who have no issues joining a club or going to a try-out for salsa to meet people. Yet, talk to any doom-and-gloom zoomer who whines all day about not having friends or purpose and they'll sooner put iron in their mouth than stoop to joining a club or seeing what the local festival is about. Or hell, show up to a 40k meet for the first time. Or finally buy into iRacing and suddenly have passion for cars. Some measured, conscious effort to break into something new and be rewarded immensely for it. I'd like to hear stories, good or bad.

It's very easy to tell people to do things. It's even easy to tell yourself to do something. It's hard to do something especially when you are tired, emotional or in some other form in the dumps.
"Happiness is just a few choices away."
Is just reductive. You can choose to be happy, as in just enjoying what you have but if you link happiness with something that is outside of you, then that happiness can be taken away from you.
And to be frank I don't understand all this push to constanly be happy. It's normal to feel sad sometimes. Sadness is an emotion you are meant to feel. Pain lets you know you are in danger so you may react better. Sadness is there to let you know you are in a bad spot.

I did once volunteer at this music festival and it was incredibly rewarding to simply be there. Your hands were welcomed; no soft value linkedin bullshit or what have you; you were there and people were grateful for it. Sadly music, especially that kind, wasn't my thing, and I've not been able to find something local since.

That might work for you but it will not work for everyone else. And some people are just not social and don't get fulfilment out of being social.
It's also dumb to assume that just if somebody goes out and interacts with more people they will somehow stop being miserable. Miserable is a mindset not a reaction to anything. It doesn't stop by the outside it stops from the inside.
There is an effect in sales where if you tout your product as supporting a cause you will get increased sales from people buying it. But that same effect will not apply when people buy that product as a gift for someone else. As the value of the cause is lost in the gift giving process.
I think the same goes for advice. It's easy to throw advice out in the wind baiting for the dopamine of someone agreeing with you. But if I knew someone miserable I wouldn't throw advice their way. I would talk to them, do my best to ask questions to see what's eating them and then work from there. I was once miserable and one thing that helped me a lot was just a friend, listening to me sperg and trying his best to offer his opinions and suggestions and the act it's self of talking did most of the heavy lifting.

 

[Brightstar777]

Life is good or bad is all determined by your choices or actions you have to take care and be good

 

[Ibanez RG 350EX]

I completely disagree with the general sentiment in this thread. Without powerleveling too hard, I've lived in a situation most people would consider pretty bad and lived in a situation most would consider really good and both were... fine. Going from the former to the latter was not the life-defining experience most would presume it to be.

Human beings acclimate quickly to just about any circumstances and revert to whatever their baseline happiness is. The idea that lasting satisfaction lies on the other side of certain choices or achievements or changes generally is a shell game that your own biology is playing on you. "The journey is the reward" and similar hackneyed sayings are just cope for the crushing realization that, despite all your efforts, where you started and where you ended are more or less the same.

 

[Happy Fish]

Comparing the social lives and opportunities of baby boomers/gen x and zoomers/millennials you may as well compare the cultures in London and the outskirts of Beijing. If all you need is for someone to find your hands useful, then I guess volunteering at an event will probably do the trick. I think the disaffection, depression and lack of belonging of the sort of person you describe runs far deeper than that.

This isn't to argue people can't help themselves or shouldn't try or that your suggestions aren't good, and it makes sense to think of how previous generations were more socialized. Just that it is kind of reductive to act like things that have worked for you and your personality will work for the kinds of people you are describing. And most assuredly, others can and do build hell for others.

 

[PaleTay]

I do think the biggest thing are that older generations lived simpler lives, and standards were both lower and decrease as you age. Also, social groups tend to be more concentrated in medium-large cities so smaller or older towns are harder due to money and travel time.

The difference is Boomers are more content with hanging out with Smelly Todd, Karen, or even Mohammed because they live nearby, work together, or have a similar hobby and are fine with not having that deep of a relationship. Millennials, and Zoomies want a deep relationship with people they really connect with, but also have social and career networking opportunities.

 

[I Hate The Disabled]

I am by no means a successful person, but I used to be comfortable with my station in life. Bu ever since 2020 I've been jumping from one job to the next, finding it very hard to function in society today. Everything seems to be stupid, pointless, or evil, or a combonation of the three. I find myself being hostile at worst, or apathetic at best.

I have enough wisdom to know that it's me that is the problem though, and that I can't run away from myself, which is what seperates me from the lolcows. Or at least that's what tell myself.

Honestly, I thought if I got and stayed sober, I'd function, or cope a lot better with this world I find myself in. But change was still just as hard to come by.

I'm probably going to go back to school next semester, and find a part-time job for the mean time that I'll have little chance of running into, or causing trouble.

 

[Fapcop]

There’s the boomer/zoomer divide at play as well.

Boomers are used to socializing in person, it’s their default mode. Hence it’s easier for them to go out and do it.

If you’re in the 20ies, where the f would you go? Most clubs/interests are online.

(Just as an unrelated example: I can’t find people to play table RPG with where I live. It’s all either online or people who’ve been playing since high school together.)

Boomers are also on the very top on the wealth privilege and what ruined this country. It’s pretty easy to “go out and live life” if you’ll never have a financial worry or fear the future.

If you’re a zoomer, you will likely never be able to afford college, let alone a dream education by yourself. You will never have the opportunity to buy a nice house, and whatever shithole house or condo you get, you’ll be enslaved for for thirty years.
You’ll never afford 3 or 4 kids and still live comfortably, let alone 2 kids on one income.

Life got better for every new generation in America. Until boomers fucked it all up, leaving young people significantly worse off than their parents.

So yeah… No wonder if some zoomers doom post and don’t feel super optimistic.

A better life is a few choices away, but for some those choices either aren't obvious or are incredibly hard to make.

It CAN be. But in other cases it’s totally out of the reach for some.

 

[Agamemnon Busmalis]

In life and work sometimes people take you too much for granted.

Doing volunteer job is rewarding because people are truly grateful of you time investment and contribution.

This is a great point. One thing you will learn by devoting time to volunteering and productive hobbies (I like to garden) is to stop caring as much about work, bosses and coworkers because they don't give a shit about you. You see real gratitude and community when volunteering and as you get to know the people you start to build a mutual support network.

Hell, just being told by someone they really liked the tomatoes I gave them is a real shot in the arm!

Can tell you first-hand all those "buddies" and bosses at work forget you even worked there once you leave. If you're fired, you might as well have killed their dog with the way they'll treat you.