- Joined
- Jun 12, 2014
@Null is a very… interesting?… case. He evokes complicated and sometimes contradictory feelings.
I remember, years ago when fucking Jace was doing his Deagle Nation shit, I remember listening to Jace speaking over Skype to somebody. At this point I had no idea who Null was or that he was the owner of Kiwifarms; at this point, it wasn’t even called KF yet, still known as the cwc forums. I remember listening to someone speak calmly and thoughtfully to Jace as Jace simply yelled back “Joooosh! JOOOOOOOOOOSH!” That’s when my interest was piqued about who this guy was, as it seemed clear he wasn’t just another thoughtless troll. He was eloquent and patient, and though he likely didn’t entirely have Jace’s best interests at heart, he seemed to assume an almost big-brother persona to him.
Since then, Null has seriously been through a lot. He’s attracted the wrath of impotent lolcows over the years, sure, but some of them were dedicated enough to attempt to ruin his life. Two have them have all but succeeded: Sam Smith and Melinda. He’s been run out of his country, had contact with his family severed, career prospects utterly obliterated, all of it unjustly. And as a further humiliation, none of these people will likely experience a reckoning for what they’ve done to Josh.
I listen to his podcast semi-frequently, and in the one episode where he lamented not having the chance for a more domestic life as his 30s march onward, I really hurt for him. He was alone, far from his home in a country he doesn’t speak the language of and would never tolerate him if they knew what he did, and his greatest hope is to try and keep one step ahead of his enemies as they relentlessly try to shatter the remnants of his life. He has no real irl contacts, and he is hated by internet folks on both sides of the spectrum: trannies and freaks on one side, alt-right fucks who DDOS his website because he won’t let them post cp on the other. And for those here on KF who do seem to like him, they usually fall into this revolting, sycophantic NOTICE ME SEMPAI embarrassment that Null clearly reviles.
He is effectively welcome nowhere, so of course he lives his life online. That’s the reason, more than anything else, he falls for these stereotypically bad takes like his blatant racial bigotry and Covid insanity. Is he wrong? Yes, more often than not, especially on those two topics, but rather than feel disgust at him like I do at the average A&H’ers, I just feel so sorry for him. He’s a broken, destroyed man who has broken, destroyed opinions on topics he doesn’t understand to rationalize his broken, destroyed life. If I were to wish him anything at all, it would be that he could just turn off his computer for a few years, find a rural community somewhere, and just hit reset. That sounds like a cliché, but I don’t see any other way in which Null’s story has a happy ending.
Beneath all the dross, I still see glimmers of the old Null. He stands firm in his beliefs of a freer (if not fairer) world, even when it would have been easier to simply toe the line and walk away. I really don’t think anyone else here on KF would have the courage to stick to their guns the way he has. But the takeaway that one should have of Null is a cautionary tale of Too Much Internet Syndrome.
This concludes my Null faggotry
I remember, years ago when fucking Jace was doing his Deagle Nation shit, I remember listening to Jace speaking over Skype to somebody. At this point I had no idea who Null was or that he was the owner of Kiwifarms; at this point, it wasn’t even called KF yet, still known as the cwc forums. I remember listening to someone speak calmly and thoughtfully to Jace as Jace simply yelled back “Joooosh! JOOOOOOOOOOSH!” That’s when my interest was piqued about who this guy was, as it seemed clear he wasn’t just another thoughtless troll. He was eloquent and patient, and though he likely didn’t entirely have Jace’s best interests at heart, he seemed to assume an almost big-brother persona to him.
Since then, Null has seriously been through a lot. He’s attracted the wrath of impotent lolcows over the years, sure, but some of them were dedicated enough to attempt to ruin his life. Two have them have all but succeeded: Sam Smith and Melinda. He’s been run out of his country, had contact with his family severed, career prospects utterly obliterated, all of it unjustly. And as a further humiliation, none of these people will likely experience a reckoning for what they’ve done to Josh.
I listen to his podcast semi-frequently, and in the one episode where he lamented not having the chance for a more domestic life as his 30s march onward, I really hurt for him. He was alone, far from his home in a country he doesn’t speak the language of and would never tolerate him if they knew what he did, and his greatest hope is to try and keep one step ahead of his enemies as they relentlessly try to shatter the remnants of his life. He has no real irl contacts, and he is hated by internet folks on both sides of the spectrum: trannies and freaks on one side, alt-right fucks who DDOS his website because he won’t let them post cp on the other. And for those here on KF who do seem to like him, they usually fall into this revolting, sycophantic NOTICE ME SEMPAI embarrassment that Null clearly reviles.
He is effectively welcome nowhere, so of course he lives his life online. That’s the reason, more than anything else, he falls for these stereotypically bad takes like his blatant racial bigotry and Covid insanity. Is he wrong? Yes, more often than not, especially on those two topics, but rather than feel disgust at him like I do at the average A&H’ers, I just feel so sorry for him. He’s a broken, destroyed man who has broken, destroyed opinions on topics he doesn’t understand to rationalize his broken, destroyed life. If I were to wish him anything at all, it would be that he could just turn off his computer for a few years, find a rural community somewhere, and just hit reset. That sounds like a cliché, but I don’t see any other way in which Null’s story has a happy ending.
Beneath all the dross, I still see glimmers of the old Null. He stands firm in his beliefs of a freer (if not fairer) world, even when it would have been easier to simply toe the line and walk away. I really don’t think anyone else here on KF would have the courage to stick to their guns the way he has. But the takeaway that one should have of Null is a cautionary tale of Too Much Internet Syndrome.
This concludes my Null faggotry
